Just about ready to give up horses...

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thehorsediva

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I am so fed up :-(

Last night I am getting in friends youngster who rears right upright (she's 17hh) and scares the hell out of me...thats before she tries to bolt off bucking down the track (and yes I have another horse in the other hand just to help matters). Great, shaken up again :-(

This morning I lunge my 5 yr old who has a sudden bronking fit, bolts off, sends me absolutely flying and proceeds to go absolutely mental flying round the school.

Thats after a year of hellish horse hunting (and boy do I have some stories from that- trust no one!) to find a quiet sensible chap to build my confidence back up. My confidence is now non existent. I cant even imagine getting back on another horse and quite simply am ready to give up :-(
 
Just keep looking for the right horse - your confidence will bounce back......

I ran a livery yard for a few years and had to deal with some difficult horses that I am not ashamed to admit scared me on occasions too.

I would then go and get my horse in and would remind me there are nice horses out there!
 
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The hardest bit is getting back on and doing it under your own steam with no prompting or pushing from anyone else. If you think you need a time out take it and maybe ride something a bit ploddy when you are ready? xxx
 
Don't rush yourself, it's a terrible time of year generally and someone on here said it has been the most difficult 10 months to keep horses in her 30 years of horse ownership so you're certainly not alone in finding it tough.

Spring is on it's way so hopefully nice horses will come onto the market soon.

Or give yourself a break from them for a few months, then come back really keen having missed it. I've done that a couple of times and a month 'cold turkey' really made me realise what I was missing and upped my motivation loads.
 
I think half the battle is knowing you are not alone and that its acceptable to feel like you do. I know I do at the moment and I've not had my horse long at all!

It would be a shame to have gone through all that bad weather, dark rainy misserable mornings and afternoons and give up just as the brighter, nicer weather is on its way ... stay strong and stay safe xxx
 
V easy to lose confident but so hard to get it back, we have all been there! Don't put yourself in any potentially stressy situations, horse will pick up on it. More turnout when weather improves = more chilled out horses. Have an instructor work with you, have a look at Intelligent Horsemanship online. When I feel overwhelmed I take a few steps back and build my confidence again slowely.
 
It will all come together one day and you'll look back at the trials and tribulations of having a youngster and laugh about it, not only that you'll be thankful of what you've learnt along the way...honest! :)
 
Tell your friend to sort her horse's behaviour out - that is SERIOULY dangerous and needs dealing with.

Try and find out why your baby had a mental - excitement or misunderstanding or possibly pain??? Instead of focussing on the bad thing that happened, try and work out why it happened from his point of view and work on a plan to sort it. Try and work out why things go wrong and sort the issues rather than just coping when stuff does go wrong.

Have some lessons at a local riding school or go for a hack with a friend on a borrowed bombproof horse. You need to take it easy and slowly and find out the joy of horses and riding again. Don't rush or berate yourself - take a step back and start again slowly. Everyone has bad days, don't be afraid to ask for help.
 
Have you got anyone confident who could give you a hand? Two heads are sometimes better than one and you can watch what they do to deal with situations until your feeling a little more confident?
 
thehorsediva said:
........and yes I have another horse in the other hand .......
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So now you know the reason I advise against leading two. I realise there are others who will advise the opposite especially when your own horse is expecting to be brought in from the same paddock - but........ dangerous.

My confidence is now non existent. I cant even imagine getting back on another horse and quite simply am ready to give up :-(
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Then if this really is the case and you are genuinely frightened - don't. it would be bad for you and the horse. Own if you want some involvement and find a rider - you can do some of the fiddling about to get the fix all Horseyfolk need.
 
it is ok to feel how you do and most of us have been there. I certainly have and have got over it and found a way through. A good instructor, supportive friends and the right pony were what was needed... the latter was harder to find.

Sorry to ask, but is the 5 year old the sensible confidence giver ? If not, Id suggest leaving working with the youngster for now and just enjoy your sensible lad.
 
Give yourself a break hon. Horses are supposed to be fun, and if they're not fun at the moment for you, then take a back seat, a big breath, and chill for a while. Get someone to help you with yours, and just wait to see how it goes, nothing will hurt in the meantime. You may gradually feel differently, but if not, it's not the end of the world. Big hugs to you, and don't put yourself in any situation you're not happy with. x
 
I know how you are feeling, I had a horse bolt with me 8 years ago, we were heading for a busy main road it was literally metres before we got there that I managed to pull up! I gave up riding after that, several years later I bought my boy, he was a 4 month old foal, my daughter broke him in last year and got him hacking quietly, I would find every excuse under the sun not to get on him! Crunch time came when I told myself either get on or sell him, I broke down in tears and let it all out, the next day I got up there and managed a quiet short hack! I still have worries and I haven't cantered him yet but I guess that cantering can wait,. Tell your friend that her mare is wrecking your confidence and start with the basics with your horse, maybe sit on him for a minute then get off, repeat it until you feel like walking him on. I wish you all the best and take care x
 
I know how you feel - My 5yo threw in a series of bucks when spooked last week and I took a nasty fall - really felt like I couldn't continue, felt too old and too vulnerable to take the risk of riding him - however, I must say almost a week down the line I have had 2 lessons and had my RI school him for me a couple of times and I do feel much better. So I would say get some support from a friend or instructor and just take it a little bit at a time and see how you feel before you decide its time to give up. Don't feel forced into doing anything you aren't ready for.

Regards your friends youngster who rears - maybe time to step back from helping with her whilst you regain your confidence with your own boy. I am sure your friend would understand.
 
Do you live near me?? (south Wales) id be more than happy for you to come and spend some time with my girls... They are both docile, 99% bomproof and fantastic confidence givers... Chin up diva, tomorrow is a new day. A good sleep and things will look better x
 
Thanks for all the messages. Firstly it's nice to know I am not alone. After a day of tears I got out of bed today determined not to be beaten and lunged him again and he was good as gold. Tried to keep a positive image of him working nicely in my head and he did. Booked my instructor to come out tmrw and do something - hope I will be able to at least get on. Have also stepped back from handling the baby as that is making me more nervous and should put myself first instead of doing all these favours!! Sadly not close to Wales otherwise I would have been straight there!! Fingers crossed we can get back on track... Think I just have to accept horses are just stressful lol
 
1stclassalan said:
So now you know the reason I advise against leading two. I realise there are others who will advise the opposite especially when your own horse is expecting to be brought in from the same paddock - but........ dangerous.



Then if this really is the case and you are genuinely frightened - don't. it would be bad for you and the horse. Own if you want some involvement and find a rider - you can do some of the fiddling about to get the fix all Horseyfolk need.
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Totally agree about the leading. Leading a fresh, excited horse is as dangerous as riding one. Lead in one at a time and use a chiffney. Wear a hard hat and gloves and buy a pair of wellies with steel toe caps.
 
we have all been there after owning horses forty years i got one that was so quirky for the first time scared me. I wouldnt let anyone else handle him because he was so bad which cause me more stress. And i really needed help but to scared someone else might get hurt. Two years on nearly any one can handle him. You should never lead two together dont matter how good they are they are horses and your not insured if you lead two. mine are in a field together they still come in one at a time scream as they might im only leading one.
 
thehorsediva said:
Thanks for all the messages. Firstly it's nice to know I am not alone. After a day of tears I got out of bed today determined not to be beaten and lunged him again and he was good as gold. Tried to keep a positive image of him working nicely in my head and he did. Booked my instructor to come out tmrw and do something - hope I will be able to at least get on. Have also stepped back from handling the baby as that is making me more nervous and should put myself first instead of doing all these favours!! Sadly not close to Wales otherwise I would have been straight there!! Fingers crossed we can get back on track... Think I just have to accept horses are just stressful lol
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They all have their moments even the best but I disagree they have to be stressful all the time. You should look foward to going to your horse and doing things with him not dreading it. If you are not then you have the wrong horse - for you.

This is where you have to be honest with yourself and move on any horse that is not suitable for you as soon as possible not just for your sake but the horses also. At the moment (and of course we only have a snapshot of the situation) you seem to either frightened or seeing it as a chore because you are not enjoying it. I've been there and when you get the right one its the best thing in the world. :)
 
Everyone has confidence issues, you are not alone. Having said that handing and riding young horses while you are having a confidence crisis is not a good idea.

Can you ask your friend to take over doing her horse? He's not your problem so why add to your troubles.

As for your 5 year old, messing around on the lunge is one of those things. Just shrug it off if you can. One day he may be fine, the next he may have the wind up his tail, these things happen with horses. I would be reluctant to ride him though because if you are feeling worried it's not the right frame of mind for mounting a young, impressionable and immature horse. Can you get your instructor to further the 5 year old's education while you get some lessons on a more sensible, steady confidence giver?
 
Thanks.

Yes I have pulled out of helping my friend so other people will just have to manage as I have to put myself first.

My 5yr old is generally v good but he is just very sharp and unpredictable on the lunge. I dont know why as he isnt like that under saddle. I think he has just got used to being stuck on the lunge in the previous home to let off steam (rather than work) and then that was it, rider got on board and he behaved etc. Have decided to carry on with lunging and groundwork until he shows me a bit more consistent behaviour. I have a great instructor who is going to come and help me so thats something- was due to come out today but its snowing, ahhh! I think some lessons on another horse might be a good idea after recent events as well :-) thank you xx
 
puss said:
You should never lead two together dont matter how good they are: they are horses...
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Wow! Someone who agrees with me!

and your not insured if you lead two.
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That's a new one on me. Do you know that for sure generally or is it just in your policy? My mare and I were once covered at LLoyds and as such their general form of contract could be read as covering us both for being TORPEDOED!!! I bore this in mind each time we forded a river.

mine are in a field together they still come in one at a time scream as they might im only leading one.
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Yes, me too but once you have faced the Calgary Stampede in the dark with sparks flying from the various connections their shoes are making - you can see why some folk opt for a quick fix!
 
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