Just can’t be bothered anymore...

[fredflop]

I seem to be very Jeckyll and Hyde with horses atm. Most evenings/weekends I think “I just can’t be bothered”.

I’ve got two lovely horses to work with, mostly needing ground work, so I don’t even have to go to the effort of tacking up. I enjoy doing groundwork.

Once I get to the yard and start working them, I’m fine. Come home thinking “great what am
I going to do with them tomorrow”. That does however lead a lot into the I can’t be bothered mindset. However if i packed up with horses I’d be going nuts and missing every minute of it!

I suspect that it’s partially to do with ongoing issues at work/home (nothing overly major). Is anyone else ever the same?

 

[The Trooper]

Without prying too deep, could you be having issues with depression and anxiety at the moment leading to a general lack of motivation?

 

[ihatework]

Yes I’ve lost the love of the daily grind. I think I’m eventually growing up and out of the 100% horse obsession!

I’d say cut yourself some slack, horses are a hobby and an optional one at that!

I now go to the yard twice a week. Once to see my horse work once to ride myself and I don’t feel the need to do any more. My younger self would have been very scathing of my current self 😂

 

[JillA]

Partly time of year I think - January blues have lasted MONTHS this spring! But give yourself mini goals - achieving them is a really good reinforcer and will spur you on to the next. The "staircase" diagram trainers use for shaping is quite a good one, as you reach one step you are motivated to move on to the next.

 

[fredflop]

Without prying too deep, could you be having issues with depression and anxiety at the moment leading to a general lack of motivation?

There’s no doubt that something along these sorts of lines is not helping atm.

 

[The Trooper]

There’s no doubt that something along these sorts of lines is not helping atm.

I'd like for you to speak to a GP. I suffer with and struggle with depression and anxiety, my treatment has made a huge difference.

 

[fredflop]

Partly time of year I think - January blues have lasted MONTHS this spring! But give yourself mini goals - achieving them is a really good reinforcer and will spur you on to the next. The "staircase" diagram trainers use for shaping is quite a good one, as you reach one step you are motivated to move on to the next.

I do sort of have “mini goals”. One of the horses has not been ridden for sometime and has needed totally retraining. Have done this and is now ready to start introducing little bits of ridden work.

The other one is hopefully going to be aimed at an important show at the end of September. Trouble is I need to get the saddler sorted out before i can start riding properly. Contacted four saddlers, they either don’t reply, or are only available to come when I can’t get time off work!

 

[fredflop]

I'd like for you to speak to a GP. I suffer with and struggle with depression and anxiety, my treatment has made a huge difference.

I will send you a PM

 

[JenniD]

I'd like for you to speak to a GP. I suffer with and struggle with depression and anxiety, my treatment has made a huge difference.

I was thinking the same thing. I suffer with anxiety and depression too. Meds have made a big difference. Nobody should have to put up with the miseries these days. Have you ever had your thyroid checked OP? I'm hypo and it can have the same effect. But...it's been a long winter too, and if you have 'things going on' in your life then all of these things can give you 'can't be arsed' syndrome! I'm with The Trooper, get yourself checked out. It could be hormonal too. Whatever it is there's always something that can help.

 

[Cat91]

I've been like this for months. Some days I'm absolutely full of love for everything horsey and then other days I struggle to go out to the yard (my horse is at home though so it doesn't seem like as much of an effort when I get there ha) But then I've had a rough 12 months with one thing and another so I think it's just accumulated now. Sometimes everything seems like a massive effort and a chore - even walking the dog. I'd definitely try and speak to someone though, I wouldn't have come back from some dark places if it wasn't for the fact that I had good people who I could talk to.

I do hope you start to feel better soon, and know that you're not alone

 

[MissTyc]

I get like this about horses. It's just such hard work sometimes, and then there's the rest of life to cope with too!
My trainer gave me a "No-Regrets Diary" to pin up in my stable to make a note of what I thinking (esp things that worry me) and what I'm going to do about it. Sometimes I think "I don't enjoy riding" ... what can I do about it? A pamper day at the yard with apples, carrots, chocolates (for them and me!), clean brushes and ignoring all other humans ...

 

[3OldPonies]

I seem to be very Jeckyll and Hyde with horses atm. Most evenings/weekends I think “I just can’t be bothered”.

I’ve got two lovely horses to work with, mostly needing ground work, so I don’t even have to go to the effort of tacking up. I enjoy doing groundwork.

Once I get to the yard and start working them, I’m fine. Come home thinking “great what am
I going to do with them tomorrow”. That does however lead a lot into the I can’t be bothered mindset. However if i packed up with horses I’d be going nuts and missing every minute of it!

I suspect that it’s partially to do with ongoing issues at work/home (nothing overly major). Is anyone else ever the same?

I'm in the same boat, and it's horrible. I have seen my GP thought and have tablets to help the anxiety. Part of my trouble spells I think from trauma at work, and though I'm not working now, I've discovered that I'm no good under pressure anymore, which could be the root cause of the can't be bothered, which is just as you described it. Like you I'm determined to beat it, and there are some really great suggestions on here.

I wish you the very best, and take care, you (and I) will get there!!!!

 

[Toby_Zaphod]

It's very difficult when you have 2 or 3 horses that need working/schooling when you have so much on at work. Bringing the stress from work to the yard happens a lot. It's a case of balancing work with your down time & although you feel your horses need to be worked ? times each per week, does it make that much difference if you miss the odd day? Probably not but it's a case of coming to an understanding with yourself so you don't beat yourself up about it. Remember that your horses are your leisure, not your work, so relax & enjoy them. So it takes a little longer to get them to where you want them to be, so what, it doesn't matter.

 

[Abi90]

I understand where you are coming from. I was diagnosed on the anxious side of “normal” as I can generally cope but certain things, such as a lot of pressure at work, push it beyond that. Whenever I feel anxious I feel like I can’t be bothered. I do always feel better for having ridden though x

 

[fredflop]

Well I only got one horse worked today as it was an absolute swine, and I wanted to watch the grand national.

If I really can’t be bothered after work, or horses likey to play up after a long day at work I don’t do anything with them

 

[Greyhorse1]

I went through a phase of this.

I found regular lessons, aiming for one ‘competition’ a month and also dropping to one horse has helped a lot!

 

[SpringArising]

Yep. Some days I could weep at the thought of having to drive half hour to the yard and then do haynets, muck out etc. Horses on their own are exhausting, so when you have a full time job, other pets and other people you also want to make time for it can all get far too much too easily.

Don't beat yourself up about it!

 

[JillA]

Well I only got one horse worked today as it was an absolute swine, and I wanted to watch the grand national.

If I really can’t be bothered after work, or horses likey to play up after a long day at work I don’t do anything with them

It does help if you have a riding buddy - doing it on your own is a chore, doing it in company with a friend is enjoyable