just havnt bonded what would you do

[popp]

Help iv had my mare since april tb 15,2 7 years she is fantastic but something is missing we seen to clash personallaty wise she has evented intro and prev nov reg bsja done odes dressage xc showing and working hunter but i just cant seem to bond with her to be honest i think she is too good for me a have not got the bottle to event maybe this is because i cant see.
Would you sell her she fab to hack and has given me confidence she can be marish tho another problem i have is we got no winter turnout and i dont think she will cope with this too well being a tb well any breed its not fair.
If i did put her up for sale would you say 4500 is a ok price for her she has no vices in her stable and doesnt nap or buck etc just need a strong minded rider who want a fun horse i enjoyed showing her but thinjk she is too good to just use for showing what would you do?

 

[f_s_]

Is this what you paid for her??

Can't you move to somewhere that does have some winter turnout?

and, finally, as she is a mare, how have you tried to bond with her?

Do you have her in a routine?, Do you do any ground work with her? do you lunge her?

 

[popp]

She has a fab temprement in her stable no i paid 5000 for her she in same routine every day.
Yes i do lunge her i just find these probs when i ride her

 

[f_s_]

Perhaps then it would be better to sell her on. Sometimes, it does happen, when horses and people don't get on.

Don't feel that she's too good for you though, horses do not wish to be doing anything except eating!!!! They may have the talent, but certainly are not aware of it!!

 

[Pearlsacarolsinger]

I'm not really sure what you mean. What does she do/not do when she is ridden?
We have always found that mares can take a long time to settle into a new home. We have a small, stable herd that live at home with horses in neighbouring fields which are also settled but the mare that I bought last May has certainly taken a year to find her place in the herd and be comfortable. If I were you, I would find a yard with winter turnout and move her to it. Years ago we had a new mare for about 8 weeks on a livery yard where she was a nightmare to ride and handle. Then we moved her to a smaller yard with a settled group. She really seemed to appreciate that we had taken her with us and that she was 'part of the family' and became easier in all ways (although we had her for 25 years and she was never an easy horse).
I think that as you have only had her for 6 months you really need to give her longer to 'bond' with you.

 

[Divasmum]

I would sell her on if I were you. Someone would probably love to have her to event.

 

[Enfys]

Hi,

Ask yourself, and answer honestly "Do I really want to sell her, how would I feel if she wasn't mine anymore, would I miss her, do I want another one?"

In my opinion a horse has no idea of its' own worth, they don't know if they are too good to just be a hack or whatever. Basically, a horse is only interested in filling its' belly, being comfortable and having room for a bit of a yahoo if that's what it wants to do.

It is how YOU feel that is important.
If you don't like a horse, or are not happy handling or riding it, or want it to do more than it is capable of at a given time, then sell it to a home where those boxes are ticked.

It doesn't reflect on a person if they don't click, bond, or like a horse. they are flipping expensive pets, too expensive not to enjoy, if you aren't happy then sell up and buy one that you do enjoy. I have bought some totally unsuitable horses in the past, but once it has filtered through my thick head that we don't suit (or like each other on a couple of occasions) then I move on, I certainly don't feel guilty about admitting I don't get on with a horse.

 

[k1963]

I would advise same . Horses are expensive ( as if we didn't already know that !) & if you're not enjoying having your Mare it seems like a waste of time, money & effort .

Don't feel bad about not bonding - it happens & she is probably what another person is looking for .
Good Luck

 

[popp]

thanks guys i think im just gutted we have no bonded i know someone who has more confidence would have a super horse and would go far a she would jump novice.

 

[dozzie]

Move yards. I agree and would not want any horse to have no turnout. If you get another horse and keep it at the same yard you will have the same problem.

Then spend time hacking alone. Just you and her.

She sounds like a mare who in time could give you the confidence to jump if you want to. If you dont want to, will she care?

It took you so long to find her and now you are giving up on her despite her sounding like a really nice mare. Good horses dont come along easily. Look at the number of people who get shafted or buy something unsuitable.


Not sure what type of yard you are on but sometimes, if you are on the wrong yard you can feel that you are not doing enough. If you find a yard where there are lots of happy hackers you may feel happier.

I am sure it is more complex than your post suggests but if I were you I would give it more time and stop worrying about what she could do with someone else! She is your mare, enjoy her!