Just need advice...

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Annsboroughlady

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I'm 15, I have just had to put down my first horse due to arthritis which was devastating. I have a 4yr old gelding who is on loan that I am working with, I begged my mom to let me have him and she let me but I have been loosing my patience with him and just don't 'click' with him. I have had my first horse for 3 years, but during these 3 years I haven't been able to do what people normally do with their first horses (hack, go to shows/the beach or hunting etc) and I won't be able to do that with the gelding for a year or so. Everytime I have wanted to do something it has been a case of: "Not now, give it time" or "She/he can't do that" or things like that. We don't have much money but I get a death benefit from my dad's death. There is a 15.3 10 yr old mare for sale for about £800 and I mentioned it to my mom and she said we could go and see her but was a bit reluctant, if we get her I would be paying for her myself. I feel like I am being such a spoiled brat for wanting her but I just want something that can do things like compete (just little things occasionally) and hack.
Please someone just give me some advice, I am being a complete brat and what would you do if you were in mine and my mom's situation?
 
I think for £800 you'd still have some work to put in before you'd be out competing anyway. Send the 4yr old back, save up the money you'd be spending on his upkeep & buy something that you really want.
 
I think its quite sensible of you to want a horse that has already done a few things and you don't really come across as spoilt! Maybe your mum thinks you are just feeling frustrated with the youngster or doesn't want you to give up too easily, but she has agreed to go see so its not all bad. Just don't rush into anything and keep your eye out for others- there are some really low prices at the moment I wouldn't be that surprised if the horse you go see turns out to be alright.
 
In terms of your loan horse send it back, I too made this mistake as a 13 year old I loaned a horse who was practically a donkey when I was looking for something a bit more spirited! I had him for a year and I can honestly tell you I didn't love him. I looked after him and cared for him to the best standard but I never bonded with him not like my first pony or the mare I have now. If he's not want you really want what's the point in hanging on to him, let someone else who might bond with him have him.

£800 isn't alot of money for something that is ready to just get on and go! As said above it'll probaly need some work too, which is always harder when we're coming in to the winter.

Owners can also be deluded about their babies (myself included). I went to see a horse earlier this year the owner sang this littles mares praises told me how brilliant she was just needed someone to reinforce her education and only wanted a £1000 for her. Told me the only reason she was for sale was becasue she couldn't afford to keep her anymore.

I went and saw this horse and it was beautiful absolutely stunning I mean seriously eye catching... BUT it knew nothing it was literally like riding a horse that had recently been backed. It was none of the things she had told me it was. It would have taken me a year if not longer to get it in any shape to even be able to school properly let alone compete.

What I'm trying to get across is that usually in my expeirence you get what you pay for. If your going to look at this horse don't be lured by the price tag you need to be prepared to walk away if its not what you want. Things don't happen over night so there's no point in buying something on the off chance you might be able to do something if your not 100% sure you have the time and expierence I would walk away and try to save some more money up and spread the word your looking for a horse.. maybe think about loaning another horse that's a bit older!

Sorry if its not what you want to hear but I wish someone had said to me a few years ago you don't have to stick with a horse if its not the for you nobody will think any less of you for it!

Just realised how much I waffle apologies for the bad spelling and essay response!
 
From the youngsters point of view he probably isn't getting what he wants from you either. Let him go back & he may find someone who can gel with him.

Take your time, your coming into a time of your life where there may be massive changes. If this mare is the right one, great, if not, walk away. The right horse will be out there, it just may not be the first one. Don't get left with another one you can't work. Try asking around, you must have friends in the horse world. Word of mouth is much better, & if it is local you may know someone at the same yard who can give you an honest opinion about it.

I loaned a 19 year old then bought her 2 years later. Best thing I ever did. We had 7 years competing, & 10 fantastic years together. She taught me so much about caring for her, so patient, I owe her everything.
 
The reality is that even if the £800 horse is a genuine bargain and is good to ride right away (unlikely at that price, no matter what the owner tells you!) - it will still take you a while to build a bond with the horse and learn to trust each other, so you have to be realistic about how quickly you can be out competing etc.

It sounds like your loan horse isnt working out, so the best thing to do is send him back and save the money you would be spending on keeping him to buy your dream horse. Yes you might have to be horseless for a while, and I know that isnt much fun but perhaps you could advertise to ride & exercise other people's horses for a while? That way you still get your horsey fix whilst saving your money for the right horse.

I dont think you are spoilt at all, I think you are just very keen to have a horse that can do everything you want and you are rushing into loans/buying horses without thinking it through. You say you begged your mum for your loan horse yet its not working out and the horse isnt what you want him to be - so I think you need to slow down, dont pin all your hopes on one horse and view as many horses as you can. Yes this mare might sound great but there is normally a reason why a horse is being sold cheap.

Take my share horse for example - his owner is selling him because she 'doesnt have time for him' any more. The reality is she cant really afford him, and because of his health problems he is getting more expensive. She hasnt told anyone about his problems in her advertisment online, she has said how wonderful he is and skipped over the parts about him having arthritis in the hocks, allergies and how he is poor hacking out alone as he's spooky. She's advertising him at £2500 with all tack which is not bad for a 13 year old 16.1hh IDXTB, but when you find out about the health issues you will soon understand the fairly low price.

So while the advert might make the horse look brilliant, there is normally a hidden reason for the low price so just be careful. Try and get your mum to take you to view a number of horses within your budget so you can get a good idea of what's out there. Dont rush into anything this time, you learnt the hard way with your loan horse that begging your mum to let you have something didnt work because you ended up with a horse that you are not suited to. Even if you find a bargain who is a genuinely good horse, remember that you wont be out competing right away and need to take it slow to build a bond together, it might take a year to get to that stage but that is normal and you shouldnt rush the horse. If you take the horse out competing before he/she is ready you will do more harm than good and will end up back at square one.

Good luck!
 
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