Just seen on a local horse group

C

Chinchilla

...
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20 February 2017
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Big Bev is looking for a new human slave.
Legitimate child of the super sexy stud muffin Randi Elite. Brightened the planet for 14 years being an absolute ray of sunshine. Bev has supermodel looks and is a impressive 18.2hh. Being a big bird Bev needs a human who is used to big girls, or boys or gender neutral. Loves a jump .. dont we all Bev, but equally shows more grace than Natalie Portman in Black swan when she turns her hoof to dressage
- Yes Bev Hunts. Think of Katie price looking for husband number 5 ... Bev loves it and is game.
-Being a social colour Bev doesn't require hours of scrubbing to go to the latest mush be seen pony party.

PM me for her full tinder stats.
Serious enquires for her full tinder stats only!"

People it would seem are getting creative when it comes to getting around the FB ban on selling animals ?

*Not my advert just funny
 
Here goes .....

Looking for my new best friend (last one ran away :( )
Can be talentless, ugly as sin or thick as a plank (or even all 3..!!) As long as it's not a complete twat..!!
Ideally: * Gelding preferred (easier to boss around)
* 16.2-17hh (new owner is built like a giraffe, with the same amount of finesse ?)
* 5-13 years old
* Must hack alone without turning the experience into a cross between the Bolero and Extreme sports..!!!
* Must be able to live out (please no wussy prince/princess types..!!)
* Nothing with legs skinnier than mine..!!! (New owner is a "good doer" currently in "show condition ") No TBs...something that looks like it's part brick Shithouse preferred. All 4 legs must be present and correct.
* Basically this creature of wonder will be a happy hacker but will, occasionally, be required to shift it's arse for the odd "fun" ride, and some jumping (over jumps, not at carrier bags..!!)
* Must be a horse (should this bit have gone at the top..?? ?)
* Around 2k available for this magnificent beast, Preferably less, I'm going to haggle anyway ??:) Loving home waiting on 4 acres of private property a mile from my house in rural area with horsey company and of course my company, which it will love, obvs ?? I'm in Shropshire but prepared to travel.
 
SatansLittleHelper said:
Here goes .....

Looking for my new best friend (last one ran away :( )
Can be talentless, ugly as sin or thick as a plank (or even all 3..!!) As long as it's not a complete twat..!!
Ideally: * Gelding preferred (easier to boss around)
* 16.2-17hh (new owner is built like a giraffe, with the same amount of finesse ?)
* 5-13 years old
* Must hack alone without turning the experience into a cross between the Bolero and Extreme sports..!!!
* Must be able to live out (please no wussy prince/princess types..!!)
* Nothing with legs skinnier than mine..!!! (New owner is a "good doer" currently in "show condition ") No TBs...something that looks like it's part brick Shithouse preferred. All 4 legs must be present and correct.
* Basically this creature of wonder will be a happy hacker but will, occasionally, be required to shift it's arse for the odd "fun" ride, and some jumping (over jumps, not at carrier bags..!!)
* Must be a horse (should this bit have gone at the top..?? ?)
* Around 2k available for this magnificent beast, Preferably less, I'm going to haggle anyway ??:) Loving home waiting on 4 acres of private property a mile from my house in rural area with horsey company and of course my company, which it will love, obvs ?? I'm in Shropshire but prepared to travel.
Click to expand...


Ha ha ha brilliant!
 
Just seen this one! ??

'Needs new ? 13.2hh furry love child of a small woolly mammoth x with a mountain goat. Navigates any amount of fencing with the stealth of an SAS sniper at the mere sniff of a pony nut. Kind to children, thinks adults should just dispense food like a giant pez dispenser and if they don’t he lets himself out of his stable and helps himself to any pot plant his can fit in his furry little gob. Snaffle mouthed, if you’re a novice. Canters off with you if you can ride marginally better than a small toddler... puts the breaks on at a fence like he’s got abs..... shame he has no air bags - they’re necessary. Thinks it’s hilarious to knock a barrowful of shit over in gale force winds as you’re facing down wind. Once you have caught him, he hoovers up any hay that would put Dyson cyclonic vacuum cleaner to shame. Always rolls in the wettest muddiest part of the field, normally when he sees you coming with a head collar. Ride and drive - although his hooves are too big for a coupe - so currently drives a battered Peugeot. I’m kidding - the one job he loves is pulling a cart- seriously safe enough for your half blind granny to drive (as long as she can run like Linford Christie on Nandralone to get on the cart as he’s pulling off out the gate ??). Inbox for more details! And I hope you’re laughing ?'
 
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