Keep trying or stay in comfort zone?

[Mrs G]

Please bear with, this could be long! Ive had my wonderful Tb for ten years, he’s now 14. We enjoy hacking and schooling and the odd lesson at our yard. Ive always joked his personality is ‘donkey or dragon’, he’s either a bombproof, kick along nanny horse when hacking or schooling at home, or a fire-breathing dragon if he gets excited (eg when jumping) or we go somewhere new. Over the years I freely admit I’ve stayed within our comfort zone and stuck to the the activities and places we enjoy. However, 2 years ago I was able to buy a little lorry, having not had our own transport before then. I’ve travelled him to arenas for individual lessons and out for hacks with friends on foot or on their (sensible!) horses, but only about 10 times in those two years. Obviously Covid lockdowns have played a part but also I only travel if I can get a friend to come with me or meet us so that limits things too. He’s fine to load and to travel, it’s once I unload at the other end - I don’t know if it’s my donkey or the dragon that will get off (and if it’s the dragon i need help to deal with him)! I know the usual advice is to keep doing it until it’s no big thing BUT, is it worth the trauma (and potential risk of injury involved with a big,unpredictable horse)? Broadening our hacking horizons and adding variety to lessons would be lovely (I don’t want to compete) but I don’t know if it’s achievable for us in our circumstances? Meanwhile the lorry is a big expense and source of guilt that I’m not using it more. TIA x

 

[Season’s Bleatings]

I think the important thing is to identify - do you want to be going out to do new things or are you happy sticking with what you know?
You shouldn’t feel obligated to do things just because it feels like you should. However, if you do genuinely want to get out and about, maybe your instructor could help support you in pulling together a bit of a plan to increase your confidence when he’s in dragon mode.

 

[Carrottom]

Could you join a friendly riding club? Going to rallies would mean there would always be people around to help if needed.

 

[Flicker]

Set yourself up for success whatever you do. Make sure that you have sensible people with you who can help, maybe book a trainer to come with you on the odd occasion to help you with the ‘dragon’ episodes. Ensure you have a neck strap. Decide what you will do if you get a dragon on the other side - ie will you do a bit then go home, will you try to ride it out, will you just pack up and go - always have a plan. Have a look at the situations where he is in dragon mode - are there common triggers? How can you manage those? Only go places if you have bags of time and are not rushed or stressed yourself, so you can always be the calm one.
And, most importantly, don’t feel you have to do anything until you are absolutely ready to.
Good luck

 

[Sir barnaby]

Wow that sounds just like my horse, the difference being that I never know what mood he is in day by day, I’m only hacking as I have no transport, but each day can be different, I rode Monday and he was like a donkey, I rode yesterday and he was snorting, jogging, chomping at the bit, we did the whole ride in trot so he was happy, he’s lovely in all respects, perfect on roads, will canter out nicely, he’s not naughty just can get a bit stress, he’s 13yrs and I’ve had him 6 years, I ride alone most of the time as he has such a strong forward going walk no one can keep up with me, he does hunt well though so that’s blessing if I fancy going and They are local. my last mare was the same great at home but show her the lorry and she became a dragon, I tried the magic calmer syringes but it made her worse.

 

[ycbm]

Did he race Mrs G? If so, I would hope that if you keep going, especially if you increase the frequency now lockdowns are over, he will eventually realise that travel doesn't mean race.

If he didn't race, I'd still do the same but with less confidence that he will ever be any different, but still pretty confident.
.

 

[ycbm]

SB have you tried keeping a weather, work and food diary?
.

 

[Not_so_brave_anymore]

I'm team comfort zone over here!

Is the issue that you feel you should be doing more (and/or "getting on with it" by yourself) or is it that you're uncomfortable with what you're already doing? If you're happy with things as they stand (ie you're happy to go out in the lorry, but only in a specific set of circumstances) then I'd just carry on as you are ?‍

 

[Mrs G]

I try to ensure I’m prepared and have help - but thats why I can only get out once in a blue moon so its a double edged sword. My instructor has come with us a couple of times but I cant afford her company every time. It was actually a local RC clinic that prompted this post - I thought it would be a good option but there being other strange horses there (about 6 in total and only 2 others in our group!) got him in dragon mode immediately; a spin, rear and leap later and my confidence was in tatters - he did settle but never truly relaxed so of course neither did I and there was the added pressure of spoiling the other people's lesson. He did race but only 3 times - maybe that was enough to cement his excitement at travelling - and is he now a bit old (as am I!) to change? However if I sell the lorry - the money will get spent on bills and Ill never be able to afford another so Id be effectively consigning us to our nice little comfort zone forever and that feels limiting somehow!?

 

[Flowerofthefen]

I have an ex racer. A few years ago I decided to start boxing out to different hacks as ours at home are all road work. I was slightly worried but thought if he is a tit I would just reload and bring him home!! He has been an absolute diamond. I would give it a try if you really want to. Get someone to go with you first few times to help if necessary. Good luck x

 

[Dasher66]

I'd take him for a fast hack before boxing up to your instructors yard. If she has a horse walker put him on that for half an hour or lunge quietly, and then take him home.
A few repetitions of that should take the excitement out of outings.
We had similar issues with an ex-racer who thought every trip in the trailer meant hunting or racing; we put him on the horse-walker for 30 min before a show and had a different animal.

 

[Mrs G]

Fern007 thats precisely the kind of thing i'd *like* to be able to do however the reality is finding somewhere to hack that has safe parking for unloading/mounting, especially if its the dragon that comes off the lorry (and theres no way of knowing until hes off - he travels like a lamb). Unfortunately instructor doesnt have a yard of her own and if I took my boy for a fast hack it would def awake the dragon - thats not how we hack (think slow meander on the buckle end - he doesnt even spook at suicidal pheasants at home)!

 

[Annagain]

If you WANT to do it I think it's worth persevering with. The more he does it, the less exciting it should become. Can you drive to a friend's yard and hack from there a few times? I also like the idea of joining a riding club, even if you have a private lesson the first few times and then join a group. There will be people around for moral support and if he goes and sees lots of horses but does pretty boring, hard work the novelty will soon wear off!
Maybe if you let us know your general area, people could suggest some hacking routes?

 

[Leandy]

You've had lots of good advice here. If you are not doing things you would like to be doing because your horse is a little un-predicatable and challenging when in dragon mode, have you considered whether he is actually the right horse for you? How much do you want to do these things and how much do you actually want (and have the bottle) to work through it with him? I would fear that at 14 he is rather set in his ways. The last thing you want is for this to knock your confidence. If there is a danger of that then maybe consider finding him a suitable home and a more suitable horse for you? Perhaps you have outgrown his capabilities? It is not just you who is moving out of your comfort zone here. Your horse is too, hence his reactions. He spent 10 years being a home based neddie and now you are wanting to expand his horizons. Just a thought.

 

[Mrs G]

I agree, thanks all who've replied. I will mull it all over. One thing I know with absolute certainty though - horse is a keeper - we'll either work through this issue or Ill sell the lorry - expanded horizons are nice, but my boy is, well, my boy!

 

[Flowerofthefen]

Fern007 thats precisely the kind of thing i'd *like* to be able to do however the reality is finding somewhere to hack that has safe parking for unloading/mounting, especially if its the dragon that comes off the lorry (and theres no way of knowing until hes off - he travels like a lamb). Unfortunately instructor doesnt have a yard of her own and if I took my boy for a fast hack it would def awake the dragon - thats not how we hack (think slow meander on the buckle end - he doesnt even spook at suicidal pheasants at home)!

Where are you? If your near me i would be glad to help x

 

[Flowerofthefen]

I agree, thanks all who've replied. I will mull it all over. One thing I know with absolute certainty though - horse is a keeper - we'll either work through this issue or Ill sell the lorry - expanded horizons are nice, but my boy is, well, my boy!

I'm another who won't sell just because I can't do something with my horse!! I found the first time really nerve wrecking but it was definitely worth giving it a go x

 

[Carrottom]

Just had a thought, are you a member of ROR? It might an idea to check if there is any training near you. At their sessions people are usually sympathetic to the problems with ex racers and may have good advice too.

 

[tiga71]

Where are you? I am in Sussex and there is a FB page for Hacking buddies in Sussex. I don't use it that much as I know a lot of people but it is great for people who want to meet up and hack with others. Some people have others come to their yard and hack or they meet up at a convenient hacking spot. It also shares good hacking places, places to park safely etc.

They may be a similar group in your area.

I love taking mine out and I think the more you do it, the less exciting it becomes. One of mine is a project and we are working on loading as it is one of his big issues. I know when we start travelling properly it won't be fun for a while, but I need to do it.

Good luck.

 

[splashgirl45]

how about lunging him at home before taking him anywhere just to take the edge off and it may be enough to stop the dragon. or lunge and then load him up after he has cooled down, drive away from home and circle back. unload at home and either turn out,put in stable or ride or lunge again if dragon unloads

 

[Mrs G]

Some more good suggestions, thanks all x