Kids and ponies....

[miamibear]

Following on from the "how old were you when you got your first horse/pony" post.

Both me and my friend have worked at riding schools for rides since we were able, with our parents not being able to afford ponies for us.

I only got my own horse when i was 19 and could support it off my own salary.

I know this may be a bit controvertial(sp) and i mean no offence but do you think you appreciate what you have more if you have worked all your life to get your own and not been handed it by your parents?

A lot of the kids i knew that got given ponies by their parents soon went off them at age 14 ish when they discovered boys!

I feel having it the way i have had it - although i felt like i missed out on a lot i have learnt the value of what i have and never go out and buy the best makes or most expensive things because i have never had the money - even though i do now.

From the other side did those of you who got given ponies when you were younger find it hard to cope when you had to pay for it yourself.

Are there still people out there whos parents pay for the horses even though they are adults?

Just wondered what peoples views are and thought a discussion wouldnt go a miss.

By the way when i have kids i fully intend to provide said pony to them (even if i have to force them

) because i dont want them to miss out.

Please discuss.

BTW i dont resent my parents for this!! LOL

 

[Tia]

I don't think it makes any difference - a person is either appreciative of being lucky enough to have a horse........or they are not.

 

[fizz-tally]

1st interested in bridle how much

i had ponies from when i could walk as did my 2 girls, luckily i never wanted to do the boy thing, loved my ponies & that was my life 24/7

my girls are 3 & 7 & totally love the pony they have to bits, if when older they stop riding thats fine but just now they want to be around horses & love it

 

[minesadouble]

I can see that someone who had had to wait and work to afford their own horse/pony may appreciate being a horse owner more when it finally happens but I think the advantages of owning young outweigh any disadvantages.
I got my 1st pony at 18months due to horsey parents, and I bought my daughter's first pony while she was still 'in utero'!
I think provided the kid has horsey parents it's fine - we have had instances on our farm where unhorsey parents have bought a pony for their child and expected the child to be able to look after it unsupervised (on DIY livery) - and obviously that hasn't worked out.
But I have to say (sorry for appearing boastful) that I am so proud of my daughter's knowledge/riding ability at 13 - she knows more/rides better than at least 3/4 of the adults on our yard, and I attribute this to riding/handling horses & ponies from such a young age.
With regard to money I think if you've always had horses you tend to view them as a neccessity rather than a luxury - but I have always been in the priveleged position of keeping my horses at home (parents farm and now my partner's farm) - but I would certainly NOT to be paying for my daughter's ponies once she has a job - if she's at college/uni I would keep them or contribute to their keep but once she's working she can pay for them herself!

 

[JAK]

I bought my first pony and my first show dog with my own money, my parents didn't pay or contribute in any way!
(I was 16 I think when I bought my dog & 14 or 15 when I bought my pony! Both cost the same amount funnily enough - £75! LOL)

I have bought the girls ponies, or loaned them ponies & pay for everything to do with them, though tbh, the ponies are there as much for my pleasure as the girls', as they are a real 'family hobby'!

I think the girls do appreciate the amount we spend on them & as we were able to afford to buy/loan/maintain the ponies for them, I would not wish to deny them the pleasure of having them!
I had very little as a child, not because we couldn't afford anything, more that my mother was not that aware of what I was interested in really & my interests came very much second to hers, so maybe that has something to do with it!

The money MD has earned from her stable duties with the hunters has certainly made her more aware of the value of things though & she has been very proud of the things she has bought with her 'own' money!

 

[_April_]

I'm so glad that my parents bought me a pony when I was younger for a few reasons...

Firstly kids are braver and more flexible and it's easier to learn when you aren't scared of falling off!

Also I think due to the huge cost, its very hard to keep your own horse when you get older and go to uni, start out in your career etc. Now that I'm 26 and I've just bought my first flat there's no way I could afford my own horse and I wouldn't expect my parents to pay for me either.

However luckily because I can ride, I get to look after a horse that was rescued/retired to the yard where I kept my old ponies (the YO doesn't ride at all but always rescues horses). Said horse was out of work for 2 years with a tendon injury and her owners didn't want her anymore but now she has fully recovered and we are getting to do loads together. I don't think they would entrust her to a novice rider though.

I am so glad that I have her now because it used to be quite frustrating to have such an expensive hobby! I think that's the only drawback from getting the horse bug at an early age lol

 

[Snowberry]

My kids have always had ponies and I've always paid for them, their entry fees, tack etc...
Recently my husband left and money was tight so as Becci had a part time job I asked her to contribute towards her own pony. This meant basically giving up 1/4 of her wages to pay for the pony. She did it for 3months and then decided she couldnt afford it anymore!!!!

TBH I think its probably one of the most important lessons she's ever learnt - she now realises that she cannot have everything handed to her on a plate and if she works for what she wants then she'll appreciate it even more.
I actually think I would have made her pay for her own pony even if my OH hadnt left - kids need to learn money doesnt grow on trees etc..
Middle daughter is 11 and has 2 ponies, 1 we've put on part loan and one that I pay for but she does odd jobs about the yard to earn extra money and she always offers me her prize money to pay for entry fees etc.. (I dont take it but she offers!)

I have a friend who's daughter has a paper round to pay for new shoes for the pony

 

[UKa]

Dad bought me and my sister our first own pony when I was 11 (sister a bit older) – I did not feel that because he paid for it then I didn’t appreciate having one. Maybe to the contrary, it taught me to be responsible with the animal and that maybe sometimes had to cut back on other things (sometimes missing birthday parties of friends or whatever the issue); in my family also we never bought expensive clothes or fancy gadgets just for the sake of it somehow I was brought up to always watch the pennies so horse was there but quite a precious “thing” to have. I certainly was not interested in boys for a long time and at one point when I was a bit tired of horses (can’t believe I ever was now even if the period didn’t last long!) I felt I couldn’t really give up because the pony was there and it would have broken my heart to give her away.
So, 20 odd years on I still have the horse virus and it would be great if any children should I ever have any would do the same, I am certainly going to get them a pony should this be possible and for them to decide when older whether or not they stick with riding or not

 

[Tempi]

my mum refused to buy me a pony when i was little, she said that if i wanted one i had to save up for my own.

i helped out at my yard from the age of 7 every saturday and sunday and every day i could in the holidays. I had a great time, i rode loads of different ponies and got loads of experience - riding the same pony all the time i think just dosent provide kids with the same experience as working at a yard and ridingall different sizes and types. it certainly helped me to become brave and not care about whether i fell off or not.

When i was 19 mum brought me Bloss, she was £2.5k and the condition was that i paid for everything after mum had initially brought her for me. Which i do now, i pay feed/suppliments/DIY/shoes/entry fees/diesel for lorry/and half of the lorry payments each month.

i appreciate money much more and how much everything costs - all the other girls at my yard around my age their parents pay for eveything for them and they just dont appreciate anything. Im not saying this is the case with everyone, just some people.

 

[TequilaMist]

I never had pony when a child,my parents were non-horsey and basically could not have afforded it even if they were.I loaned horses from 17 upwards.My daughter has always had a pony since age of 2 yrs and last few yrs has had 2 ponies.
Don't think she appreciates the same way as I did.I was like a kid in a sweetie shop when I actually owned my own one and that was at 33yrs old.Recently purchased my daughter whose now 14 a horse (not a cheap one either)and felt she could have shown a bit more enthusiasm over it.Think it irks me as we are by no means well off and maybe because I had to scrimp and save to get anything horsey in my life as a child(used to keep my school lunch money for riding lesson at weekend could tell you how much that was but it would make me feel really old!!)
.Don't get me wrong she is very committed and gets up before school to turn out horses and back after school to ride.I thinks its because she's always had an equine in her life For the future I have told her if she is at uni/college I will still pay for livery etc but if not she has to get job and pay for it herself(this is not an idle threat!!)
And ,Miamibear, I suppose let her have all these ponies so she didn't miss out either.Must admit she is a dam good rider much better than I could ever hope to be and do think this is due to riding at young age -its a good as walking to her!!

 

[pottamus]

My step mum got us into riding and we were lucky enough to always have lot's of horses to ride. I had responsibility for not just mine but all the horses when my sister went off with boys and my step mum was busy with my baby brother. So there was a time for a few years when I looked after up to 7 horses morning and night!!! I had to do jobs around the house to pay towards the up keep of my horse - like doing the bin bags, cleaning out my step mums 30/40 show cats, washing cars at the weekend and gardening! But I still look back now and feel privaliged to have lived in the country and had loads of horses to ride.
Unfortunately due to family circumstances (marriage split up and move to Birmingham with my Dad's job) the horses all had to go at the age of 16

.
I entered the world of work and vowed from then on that I would have my own horse again.
I have had that horse for 3 years now as an adult of 32 and the thing that struck me more than the money/affordability thing was the lack of knowledge I had about actually looking after a horse...I had no parents telling me and guiding me...I was on my own. That's what I appreciate now as an adult because I feel I worked hard to have horses at home when with my parents.
It's an interesting subject though...

 

[UKa]

PS also meant to say that if i had not had my own pony for so long maybe i wouldn;t have continued riding and how awful to miss all those wonderful moments with these gorgeous creatures. Thanks Dad!

 

[Toby_Zaphod]

Wife had ponies when she was a kid & had them into her 20's. Got married & had a break while having a family. As children grew up & did well at school they would have a present i.e. a Pony Day. They they became helpers at a riding school, working for rides. Then after a couple of years they came downstairs on Christmas morning to find a saddle, bridle, rugs, boots etc etc laid out from Father Christmas. They were told that a pony at the stables which they had been looking after for the past 6 weeks was actually theirs. There were floods of tears & I spent the rest of the day standing freezing in the arena at the stables while they rode.
Since then they have moved on to a horse. The youngest has lost interest however the eldest is now 19 & working. She still lives at home & she pays some towards his keep however I, Dad, still pays most of the bills, runs a 4x4 & trailer. I love the horse, I enjoy my daughter's enjoyment of schooling & competing...it's worth every penny even though we have to do without somethings to afford our commitment. I can't really imagine a life without horses.

 

[Gingerbird]

Don't shoot me....my parents still help me out a bit with my neddies.

I do struggle financial to pay for house/car etc and they have been in the family for ever so my parents do pay the odd bill. BUT I never ask them to and would never expect it or get the hump if they stopped (as they surely will one day).

Some times I get miffed they I can't manage all the bills on my own but......

 

[tarzipan06]

Er I feel rather silly.... I bought 2 ponies for my children 2 and 5 years old - although now I have sold my youngest child's pony as he was bought on a whim and it was rather indulgent - we are not mega loaded in any shape or form.
Even thought I have been fortunate to have been around horses/ponies for most of my life I would think twice about buying a pony for kids as my daughter rather takes it for granted and she is so hot and cold about bothering - however saying that her pony has been with us for 3 years and I enjoy lunging, have broken her to harness and even just taking her for a walk. When my children are old enough to work and are still interested I would definately ask for a contribution - I am embarrassed to say that my mum forked out stable fees for my old horse until I was 27 years old - and I worked - yes I was rather spoilt...

 

[Fiona_C]

I actually had this discussion with my hubby over the w/end, I had non horsey parents and wasn't allowed a pony so ended up riding everyone elses.

Got first pony (tai) when i was 32

on loan as much for me as the children, have now got my own horse (bud) and the first pony went back to his owner and i've loaned another pony (mickey) for them, my son does the poo picking to earn pocket money and the girls look after mickey, yes I will pay their entry fees when they do shows etc next year, but as JAK said, its such a family hobby, that we all gain the benefits of owning horses, its such a pleasure to hear "when can we go to the yard, when can we groom mickey, when can i poo pick", rather than "do we have too

"

 

[Claireg9]

Well i was lucky to haqve been brought my ponies since the age of 18 months old, but i wasnt soilt and my mum and pops worked bloody hard to keep them as we were not at all flush. I loved my ponies like nothing else in the world, i think i was more appreciative as i could see how hard my parents worked so i could enjoy them.
My animals are all pets includeing my horses and so they are treated as such, i think the less appreciative people have them as a work animal there, there to do a job, but this doesnt make them bad owners just different to me. Of course there are the spoilt ones that come out the ring and jab the poor ponies in the mouth for not winning, there the ones who shouldnt have them.
At the age of 23 i brought my first pony myself, after my one in a million passed away and i decided to carry on riding. My Mum said i could have a horse but i pay for it... ALL!
It is tough at times and i have no idea how they coped with a mortgage and horses but my new baby is so worth it!!

 

[riotgirl]

I got my first pony when I was 11. Mum refused to buy me one any earlier until I had learnt the looking after part and had some experience. My first pony was actually for me and my brother, but he went off him in the second week of owning him due to being stood on!
My mum and dad paid for the basics (feed, vets, insurance) and if I wanted any fancy tack or 'unecessary' stuff then I had to save up for it.
As i got older and got a part time job I contributed more, and I started paying my own way when I finished uni and started working full time. I am quite lucky in that as we have our own land my horse doesn't really work out that expensive! I do appreciate everything though, and realise that without my parents I probsbly would never have had my own horse.

 

[Bri]

I worked at various stables for about 5 years, every weekend and all through the holidays. After 5 years of begging, I was allowed to part share a little Shettie X Welsh 3 days a week. I paid nothing, but admittedly was 10 at the time.

I was bought a pony by my dad as a 'guilt' gift when he b*ggered off to live in a different country when I was 11. My parents paid for everything whilst I was at school. I dont think I did appreciate how much he cost at all, but my dad could well afford it so I didn't have to feel guilty about it.

When we got Sid, all responsibility was handed to me cost-wise, except insurance which mum pays for. I don't know whether it was paying myself, or Sid himself, but I have never been as appreciative and enthusiastic about riding as I am now. The odd treats Mum does buy/pay for, are very much appreciated and often leave me feelng guilty even though I don;t ask for them!

 

[Kelly1982]

My mum and dad brought me my first pony when i was 12yo but i still had to work down the yard to get money for shows, new head collars, new grooming kit etc. Basically my mum and dad paid the up keep of my horse and anything else i had to pay for.

I feel like i really missed out on a lot of stuff too because of this as my mum and dad weren't horsey people so i never got to go pony camp etc and I missed out on a lot of the beach rides and stuff as i never had the money or transport to get there.

It has certainly made me appreciate money alot more and i work hard for what i have got and dont ask my mum or dad for hand outs so i am grateful to them for that valuble lesson but also feel upset about the stuff i missed out on.

And as for the parents still paying for their adult children then yes there is people out there still like that. My friend is nearly 25, she has 2 horses and her dad still pays for EVERYTHING!!! All her competition fees, the lot!! She also complained she wanted a better horsebox so he went and brought her one. She doesn't even have to pay rent at home

She doesn't seem to understand anything really as she has always had stuff handed to her on a plate. When my old horse was ill she was like 'just buy a new one'. Errrrrrr with what money???? She doesn't seem to understand that i cant pay out for stuff straight away either and have to actually save up!!

I must admit she has got better as she has got older but god knows what she would do if she was left to defend for herself.

 

[izzyxxx]

i had to pay half towards my pony which ment i had to pay £600 and this was after saving for 5 years while i was working at the local disabled stables and had a job lol i still have a job and every thing i earn goes on the horse mainly rent as i picked up alot of my equiptment second hand i am far more attatched to her and more protective of her than my YO who has been brought ponies all her life and know owns her own house with land and has 2 kids and a husband still gets brought horses and i was only on the yard for 6 months and in that time she brought a horse and sold it brought a pony for her kid and still has a horse which she has had for 6 years which she payed me to exersize as well as lunge we bumped into her the other day to find out that her mum had just given her, her (mums)fresian (sorry last bits confusing) so i do think it matters more to you if you have worked for it but thats just my personal opinion and i always think there are exeptions

 

[ginniebee]

My parents flattly refused to let me have riding lessons when i was a child they said it was too expensive, so when i was 14 i got a paper round and payed for them myself, (they were £2.50 an hour!!!) showing my age now. Then i left school started working full time and had a family, always longing for the day when id have the time and finances to have my own horse, my parents still poo pooing the idea!!!

When my daughter was three i took her for some lessons, just a potter about on lead rein and she loved it, found out that i could loan one of thier horses for me and havnt looked back since, I bought my first proper horse when i was twenty nine, when daughter was old enough to help care for a pony we bought her a lovely shetland, shes now moved up a gear in all ways does all the chores that she can phsyicly manage, we bought her her first "proper" pony in july, she does all sorts of jobs for me round the house ie washing up ect to "pay" for ponys keep, she is totaly pony mad,

What im trying to say is, i wish my parents had taken me seriously i sometimes feel that ive wasted a lot of my life by not having my own horse, id have loved to have gone to shows, pony club ect, my parents still think im mad for having my horses, Im always skint and knackered!! but i wouldnt have my life any other way.

 

[Doreys_Mum]

I got bought my first pony at 12.

When I discovered boys at 14, I realised they're really easy to bribe into mucking out...

so men became slaves to my horses, end of. My sister went the other way, men before horses, but horses have always been top for me!!

I'm sad, because in a way my ponies were only ever bought for me as bribery by my dad, he's so convinced buying stuff makes people happy and that then makes then like him....

But my pony is all mine now, my mum and I both work to pay livery ourselves and I'm happy with that.

TBH, I've learnt a lot from having ponies through my childhood. I'd deffo let any child of mine have one.

 

[Onyxia]

Pros and cons to both.
TBH if i did buy R a pony (asuming he gets into them!) he would be made to work for it and I wouldnt do it all for him.
I think if you work for something then you apricite it- even if you dont pay for it.

 

[Boxers]

Well I started riding lessons when I was 12 and helped out at the riding school every day in the school hols and every saturday. I got the occasional free ride or lesson in return for helping. My parents couldn't afford to buy me a pony but when I was 18 and had been working for a year I bought myself a 14.1hh pony. My dad bought me a saddle and bridle. About 18 mths later I sold my pony and bought a 15.3hh horse who I owned for 7 years. Then I gave up to have a family. When my daughters were 8 and 6 they started having lessons once a month. About 1.5 yrs ago we moved to the countryside and in Jan this year we got a pony on loan who we subsequently bought. He is 13.2 and chunky enough for me to ride too. We now have an 11.2 on loan too.

My daughters do appreciate their ponies and do most of the stable work that goes with them. They do jobs in the house to earn pocket money which they usually spen at the tack shop.

They know they are very lucky to have ponies of their own and I do beleive they appreciate them. If when they are older they want to give up then I will be disappointed but I won't force them to continue. I imagine that once they are out at work (they're only 12 and 9 now) I will ask them to pay for thier horses themselves.

I remember that when I was a child a lot of the girls at the yard with their own ponies, did seem to take it for granted and the boasted alot to those of us who didn't have ponies!

 

[matthew]

I was given a horse by my friends grandad at the age of 12-a t/b! i loved him to death but didnt have to pay for anything apart from rugs and silly things-the owners just wanted someone to ride a look after him (pretty amazing deal if you ask me!!!) i had been working (for free) at the local riding stables for about 5 years and my parents felt i was ready. Tizzy unfortunatly died of colic a few years later and my parents bought me my fisrst horse when i was 15! i feel i worked bloody hard for it as well and really appreciated my dad driving me to all mys comps etc- a few more came and went until i sold up when i was 17! i just didnt have the time - now i live with o/h and cant afford to have my own and it just makes me realise how much my parents payed for!