Kids who are scared of dogs

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skewby

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I have just had to bring my mini JRT home from the yard, because the woman who has her horse opposite mine decided to bring her small daughter (5ish?) and friend up with her. The daughter is terrified of dogs.

I kept the dog out of her way as much as I could, but then the inevitable happened when the child wouldn't get out of my way (mother had gone off to hay barn and child was whining and shouting for her). She screamed her head off at my dog, who duly barked at her.

I shut the dog in the stable, finished up and brought him home to go and finish up later when they're gone.

The mother, however, wanted an apology from me as apparently I knew the child was "clearly terrified" and I should have put the dog away.

Now I am not big on children. So to be fair I don't judge well when one is really very scared. I refused to apologise, saying that she had not been kept out of MY way, the dog had done nothing to scare her, and her fear is irrational and should be dealt with, rather than pandered to! (Mother was all "there there scary dog" with the child.)

But, as I'm not a big fan of kids, particularly on yards, maybe I am being unfair here? What's a normal person's view?
 
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But, as I'm not a big fan of kids, particularly on yards, maybe I am being unfair here? What's a normal person's view?

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Normal?? on here?? no chance.......
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Personally I would ban the kid - screaming at your poor little pup!!
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I'm sorry I am no help as I agree with you - if the mother knows the kid is scared she should have kept her with her at all times at the yard - apart from the dogs kids shouldn't be left unsupervised at a yard even if it s only a minute.
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Well, dogs and horses go hand in hand in MHO. If you should bring a child to a yard then I would have thought you should expect dogs too.
I do also think that a fear of dogs should be dealt with and personally don't like it when mums do the 'there there' act!
Well done you for putting your dog away, but it would have been easier for you if the mum had asked you first to do so BEFORE child and dog got close to each other. (Thats what ''normal'' people would do - right?!)
I also think that children should be allowed to yards and I don't have an issue with it - as long as parents and co are aware of whats going on and take action if needed to avoid 'mishaps'!
 
I have to say that I agree if the dog was not being aggressive then it is up to her to keep her child with her .I find that we have become a culture where a lot of children are taught to be frightened of everything !! The scary dog!! really annoys me I have two setters and they are beautiful gentle dogs who trot along off the lead gentley wagging their tails yet on walks i occasionally have people clutch their children up as if I am walking couple of Lions!!
They are in a minority but kids shrieking when a dog goes anywhere near them is really unnecessary and will worry most dogs.I do think children should be taught not just to run up to any dog but the Health and Safety culture means some kids are taught (often by their parents reactions) to be frightened of dogs.
If your dog was doing nothing then it is up to her to monitor her child I certainly would not apologise.
 
Well thanks guys - I have just been made to feel a COMPLETE insensitve/nasty nutter by both the mother AND the woman (also with small kids I might add) working at the yard!!

Ruthnmeg you are spot on - yes in this case the dog and child were clearly not going to mix. I took action, the mother didn't have any responsibility towards the situation whatsoever? It was all MY fault the stupid child screamed at a perfectly friendly, well behaved, tiny dog?

I absolutely would not apologise and I'm disgruntled enough that I've had to remove my dog from the yard to avoid any more drama, when I have loads to do to get ready for hunting tomorrow.

I mean, if the child is going to carry on like that, and they are going to carry on having horses and exposing the child to dogs, then it WILL get bitten - I did ask the mother, is she happy for the child to go through life with a completely ridiculous fear of dogs?!

I just detest the arrogance that some parents have, where they believe we should all be running around looking out for their precious little angels and putting up with them running around, being noisy and getting in the flaming way.

OOooopps rant!!!
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5 year old shouldn't have been there in the first place IMO, unless its going to stay in the one place.

Also, scared or not, it should have been taught not to scream around dogs.
 
I 5yr old should NOT have been left unsupervised on a yard! How totally irresponisble.

Not only that but she knew you had your dog there and yet still left her child. Stupid woman.
 
You want to try having GSDs,parents are always snatching their children away from mine, and glaring at me as if I shouldn't have them out in public
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I don't think you did anything wrong and the mother should have been supervising her child. She also needs to get the child over her fear imo, or at least teach her not to scream when she meets dogs, asking for trouble.
 
Agree with all that ^^^

The mother is only making a rod for her own back by transferring this crap to her kid.


There was a thread on tips for parents/children, how to behave around dogs, but I can't seem to find it.
 
Thanks all. At least I know I'm not going mad. The mother was so incredulous that I wasn't apologetic, when she'd left the kid (and her friend!) on her own to get in my and my dog's way. The dog was under control, the child was not! But she kept saying to me "but she's clearly terrified" - um, and how is that my problem?

It's interesting actually the number of small kids I have encountered, who are scared of dogs. I mean, sorry, but I grew up in a rural area and we all LOVED dogs - even my dad's friend's working sheepdog who would herd me somewhere and keep me there! So what is it with kids now? I do know though that the attitude the stupid woman took today wasn't helpful to the kid. Also, I doubt that the child actually was terrified - otherwise surely it would not have kept getting in our way?? Seemed like attention seeking to me. Honestly, made my blood boil. Stupid brat upset my dog. Luckily no horses were in at the time or they'd probably have had a good old panic too!
 
Have you got a YM? If you do I'd relay the experience. Mine would certainly be very annoyed if she learnt a child had been left unsupervised (it is actually against our yard rules for under 16's to be unsupervised)
 
Hi galaxy, yes meant to add, was so furious I texted YM. Things have been slowly sliding on our yard, small kids-wise...I left my first yard because it was a very kiddy friendly yard. They ran around like a pack of dogs and were a total liability - think toys in the school, etc.! Ironically some of the people from that yard are now on my yard...and whereas it was always clear it is totally unacceptable for small kids to be allowed to run loose, gradually two or three women with 2-3 pre-school and nursery school kids each have become more and more slack...I was plaiting my horse for hunting on Wed and had to contend with him constantly jumping at the racket a load of kids were making, hooning up and down in between the stables. Have alerted YM today and she's fed up with it too - there have already been near misses - so she's putting a sign up tomorrow
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This is absolutely mental - what on EARTH was the mother doing leaving her child unsupervised on a livery yard at that age, and since when did a dog barking at a screaming child make it vicious
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Dear me, that means that all my mums CKCS are vicious (no, really they are not
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) as they bark all the flipping time
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Silly woman needs to keep her child under control and stop over-reacting about nothing
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How on earth is it your fault that her daughter is terrified of dogs? And what on earth is the child doing unattended on the yard??? I assume your dog comes to heel... why doesn't her kid???
Personally I would be tempted to ask for an apology for the child bothering your dog.
 
Going against the grain a little....

1)Unless you calmly told the mother what had happenedand that the dog was trying to play because her daughter was running about she will have come back from the barn to a crying child.
On finding your child in tears/looking frightened the last thing you are able to do is behave in a logical way
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TBH,rather then running stright to YO with a complaint I would have had a polite chat the next day once everyone had calmed down,starting with a "sorry if woofer upset her,but it was only trying to join in your daughters game".
Yards are funny things,and IMO a little diplomacy goes a VERY long way in keeping them happy places.

2)WTF she was doing leaving a 5 year old alone on a yard is beyound me
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but why shouldnt children be allowed on yards?
They have caused the least amount of trouble on every yard I have known,it's always been the adults who have caused the weekly war
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FWIW,my 5 year old son has grown up around a wide range of dogs owned by my extended family and adores them and while he is happy as anything playing with them,he can (and does now and then) get spooked by a strange dog barking.
Children are just that, they are not able to behave or reason things out like adults.
 
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Going against the grain a little....

1)Unless you calmly told the mother what had happenedand that the dog was trying to play because her daughter was running about she will have come back from the barn to a crying child.
On finding your child in tears/looking frightened the last thing you are able to do is behave in a logical way
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TBH,rather then running stright to YO with a complaint I would have had a polite chat the next day once everyone had calmed down,starting with a "sorry if woofer upset her,but it was only trying to join in your daughters game".
Yards are funny things,and IMO a little diplomacy goes a VERY long way in keeping them happy places.

2)WTF she was doing leaving a 5 year old alone on a yard is beyound me
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but why shouldnt children be allowed on yards?
They have caused the least amount of trouble on every yard I have known,it's always been the adults who have caused the weekly war
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FWIW,my 5 year old son has grown up around a wide range of dogs owned by my extended family and adores them and while he is happy as anything playing with them,he can (and does now and then) get spooked by a strange dog barking.
Children are just that, they are not able to behave or reason things out like adults.

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Baaa baaa
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I have to agree .

My 5 year old son ( I can see a pattern here
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) is very confident around dogs, isn't that right CC
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I have my 2 boys at the yard with my all the time, otherwise there is no way I would be able to keep my horse, They come with me 9/10 . I do not obviously agree on this person leaving their 5 year old child unattended .

Also OP .... do you know the child relatively well to call it a brat ?
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Apologises if you do
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Col x
 
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Unless you calmly told the mother what had happenedand that the dog was trying to play because her daughter was running about she will have come back from the barn to a crying child.
On finding your child in tears/looking frightened the last thing you are able to do is behave in a logical way
tongue.gif

TBH,rather then running stright to YO with a complaint I would have had a polite chat the next day once everyone had calmed down,starting with a "sorry if woofer upset her,but it was only trying to join in your daughters game".
Yards are funny things,and IMO a little diplomacy goes a VERY long way in keeping them happy places.

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The child screamed at my dog - he was nowhere near her, he was with me. I completely appreciate that the sound of your child screaming its head off like someone is trying to kill/abduct it - particularly when you have left it unattended - is going to make a mother panic.

We didn't argue, the lady was not confrontational - she just got all wound up and expected me to be contrite. Which I was not. I explained that the dog was with me, under control, the child screamed at him, and he barked at her. She just kept saying "but she's clearly terrified" and I said I appreciate that, but the fear is irrational. And asked the mother did she honestly want the child to go through life like that, particularly if they want to pursue an equine lifestyle?

This is an old bugbear on this forum and let's not go into it. There are yards that are child-friendly (I moved off my first yard because it was such - YM completely understood my reasons, many of the mothers did not) and those where it is not acceptable for small children to roam around and play unsupervised. We have had an influx of the small creatures recently and standards are slipping. I am not the only owner who is unhappy with this, indeed YM is unhappy as the health and safety risk is obvious.
 
Fear is rarely rational
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In my family we have everything from a very agressive dog (that would be the cute little yorkie
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) to dope on a rope type(the dane who everyone else avoids
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) and every type in between,so my son is well used to dogs and how the behave but as I said,will be spooked now and then.
Hell the guard dog from pub at end of the lane makes me jump from time to time!

I doubt the child IS frightened by dogs if she was fine around your's untill he made her jump,so there does not seem to be any fear to confront(not that that is the best way to go with a very young child anyway
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-it really does sound like your dog just made her jump and because she is young she screamed.

If you dont want to be on a yard that allows children then you need to find one that is adults only.No it's not fair that you should move,but it's not fair to bann chilren either.
Every other day at least there is a post moaning about owners who dont know what they are doing,and everyone agree's the best way to learn to be comftable,confident and safe around animals is to grow up with them.
Children get so vey much out of the animals in their lives and should not be prevented from being with them simply because some people dont like children
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Unsupervised is,obviously,a different issue.
Letting children run around without an adult keeping an eye on them is only ever going to end in trouble but it is the adult at fault,not the child.
 
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I doubt the child IS frightened by dogs if she was fine around your's untill he made her jump,so there does not seem to be any fear to confront(not that that is the best way to go with a very young child anyway
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-it really does sound like your dog just made her jump and because she is young she screamed.

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You're talking about an entirely fictitious sequence of events. No point replying to my posts, if you aren't reading them. Maybe your children distracted you?
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If you dont want to be on a yard that allows children then you need to find one that is adults only.

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My yard is exactly that - it's in the contract. No unsupervised children under 16. That is why I chose it, and why YM is taking action.
 
Don't get me started on kids at yards. When I bought Che after an 8 year break I was going to go back to my old yard. Went for a visit and found it had turned into a kindergarten, kids running riot everywhere!! Im sorry but I want to enjoy my horse is relative calm so I had to look elsewhere. I do think though, that if you are going to take a child to a yard, where lets face it, there will be dogs as well as horses, then said child should be taught how to behave around both and certainly should not be let out of sight of own parent for childs own sake, as well as everyone elses. Personally, I dont think you should be apologising, I cant actually see that you or doggie have done anything wrong.
 
I had a similar thing happen on my yard although it's a children's yard so slightly different. One particular child used to see my dogs and run away screaming which they thought was a really good game
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. Thankfully her mother was very sensible and used to tell the child off instead of me or the dogs, I can hear her now bellowing at the child to grow up and stand still
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Interestingly I was completely dog phobic as a child and can remember sitting on the back of my grandparents' sofa because they were looking after a friend's dog. My parents had a dog when I was born but he died when I was about 1 and they didn't get another so I had very little contact with them. When I was 10 we got a rescue dog that arrived shaking like a leaf inside a cardboard box. I can remember plucking up the courage to lift him out and sit him on my lap for the journey home and that was my dog phobia over! Said dog is now nearly 11yrs old and was soon joined by a lab puppy, then a resuce foxhound, then a lucher pup until last year I got my own
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Hmm I don't know.
Your yard is meant to be no Kids so for a start, the parent of said child is in the wrong in the first place, no?

That said. As much as you and me love dogs some people really do dislike them and your dark barking just probably made the child jump.

If I was you I'd ask the parent if the child would like to spend time with your dog, stroking it or something so the child knows it's okay and the parent isn't annoyed.
 
My 7 year old was until very recently terrified of dogs, for no rational reason really. She was particularly scared of my friend's mini poodle(!) mainly because said poodle 'smiled' at her which involved showing her teeth...... Kara took against the poodle but was really uncomfortable around all dogs. Fear in kids doesn't have to be rational to be real to them.....

What my friend did which was really helpful, was get Kara to feed them all a treat and have a competition to see which dog was the most gentle..... There was the poodle, a GSD, a mini schnauzer and a JRT, all of which my friend knew wouldn't nip, Gradually Kara gained the confidence to give them all a treat and it's gone from there.

Now we have our own puppy & she loves him. Also when we go my friends yard there are no issues with her dogs which makes life a lot easier!
 
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I doubt the child IS frightened by dogs if she was fine around your's untill he made her jump,so there does not seem to be any fear to confront(not that that is the best way to go with a very young child anyway
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-it really does sound like your dog just made her jump and because she is young she screamed.

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You're talking about an entirely fictitious sequence of events. No point replying to my posts, if you aren't reading them. Maybe your children distracted you?

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Ahh,nothing like attempting to be rude and or funny when you dont like a reply,is there?
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From your OP :
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I kept the dog out of her way as much as I could, but then the inevitable happened when the child wouldn't get out of my way (mother had gone off to hay barn and child was whining and shouting for her). She screamed her head off at my dog, who duly barked at her.

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It sounds from your post like the child and dog had been fine sharing the same space in the yard untill she jumped.
Saying the dog made her jump does not imply your dog did anything wrong,just that it did something and the child jumped because f it.
What part,exactly,has been made up?
Obviously I dont know what happened because I was not there,but I diddnt say I was.
I was simply trying to help you understand why the child might react the way it did.
You know,like you have to explain why a horse is petrified of a bin it has seen 1001 times to a non horse person?
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If you dont want to be on a yard that allows children then you need to find one that is adults only.

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My yard is exactly that - it's in the contract. No unsupervised children under 16. That is why I chose it, and why YM is taking action.

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This was not in your OP,but explains why you went directly to the YO.
Given that the yard is ment to be adults only and fair and IMO the right thing to do.
 
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