lack of confidence to ride :(

xMoodyMarex

xMoodyMarex

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I'm in a bit of a dilemma, this is basically it put briefly...

I keep my horse with 1 other mare, and so me and the mare's owner normally used to ride out everyday together. However, sadly the mare's owner now is unable to ride until September due to a unfortunate injury and the mare is going to a new temporary home and will be coming back at the start of September.

I'm a confident rider when riding in company or with someone walking, but I'm a complete bundle of nerves when hacking out alone (no school or field to ride in, so hacking only option) My mare isn't too good in traffic (due to a fairly recent episode on the road) and although the majority of drivers round here are considerate, the roads are incredibly bendy and I don't feel safe at all. I tend to stick to bridlepaths, however my mare can be quite spooky whilst on bridlepaths/through fields when on our own, and due to a 'happening' a few weeks ago when someone else was riding her, I don't feel safe hacking out on my own, especially as there is no mobile signal where I live.

I feel so guilty as my mare is just stood in a field getting fat, but I don't feel safe to hack out on my own :/ I'm so stuck on what to do. I used to be a very confident rider and would literally do anything without thinking twice, but I don't know what's happened :( There is rarely ever anyone who could walk alongside us. Due to where the stables are, it is quite hard to find anyone who could regularly come to ride her, however a friend does come to ride my mare around once a week, but only for about 30 mins in walk/trot, so ideally she needs more excercise.

need my old 'confident nuttery rider' self back! :o
 
I'm exactly the same as you - I'm fine in company, but on the TB I'm much more wary. On my 4 year old New Forest I'm really confident as she's just so easy and not spooky. Could you not move to livery where there might be other people to hack out with? I'm not far from you, but too far to just come and hack out.....
 
I just wanted to say that I lost my confidence last year after I moved my horse from a livery yard where he was very happy to a farm, we have the bond back now though so it can be done. I spent a lot of time with mine on the ground, even just grooming him. Although I don't think things started to get better until I hit rock bottom and started to think about selling him. Could you try long reining/ ground work for a while, even just leading out in hand?

Also I would say not to beat yourself up about it as sometimes I think you can build it up till its all you worry about (or at least I can), its not the end of the world if you don't hack out for a while.

good luck x
 
Sorry to hear your confidence is low. Are there any other yards or people who keep horses near to you that you could perhaps arrange a 'hacking date' with? Or do you have a friend who could come out on a bike with you?

The only thing I can suggest is to start off gradually. Ride round the field on your own for ten minutes, then the next day walk out on the road one way for 5 minutes and back and then steadily build up the time.

Keep a positive mental attitude, you CAN do it! Smile as well, and lots of praise for your mare when she is good.

Best of luck! :)
 
Been there so understand how you are feeling. I moved to a yard where there were other people to hack out with and it madde all the difference. :) No point in hacking out alone if you don't enjoy it, life' too short
 
Thank you all so much for your lovely comments :) It's reassuring to know that there are others out there who have been in the same situation at some point!
I forgot to mention in the first post, that I have to be very careful which horses I hack out with, my mare is absolutly fine with mares, however hacking out with geldings unfortunatly isn't an option as she will not allow them within 3 horses distances of her, and if they get within that space..all hell breaks loose!! There are actually 3 geldings kept 5 minutes away, whose owners I'm good friends with, but sadly can't hack out with them due to the above reasons! As for mares kept locally, there is one, but she has only quite recently started road work and hacking out, and therefore Pash wouldn't set a good example of how to behavour whilst hacking out!! :o

I had considered moving her to a livery yard, but realisticly I wouldn't be able to afford to, as I'm very fortunate to be able to keep her where I do now. Also she is currently a 2 min walk from where I live, and so if she was moved the yard would need to be within walking/cycling distance, as my parents aren't involved with anything horse related, so I would need to get myself to her and back on my bike.

Hopefully we will get there in the end! I'll aim to start walking her out in hand, and then eventually reach the stage where were hacking out on our own :) As for riding in the field first, I'm only allowed to use the field for turnout, so sadly that wouldn't be an option, although it would have definatly been a first good step!

Thank you again for all you advice, I really appeciate it :)
 
Okay here goes, if i was you i would, get on the mare and walk around the edge of the field for 5mins a day, it wont kill the field and mare will be walking and you will be enjoying and this will be helping at keeping laminitis at bay, then when you are bored of the field and stopped thinking about the "what ifs" you could venture just 200 yards down the road and then back again, no one is rushing you so go at your own pace, and enjoy it, you will feel more confident every day, and your mare will be happier, and if you are confident she will feel more confident and have trust in you.
 
apart from the obvious like ground work etc have you thought about buying some safety aids for example make sure you have a really good body protector and look into the RS-tor. There are really good reviews on this simple device and the main theme is that it gives the rider confidence. Also what is it you are afraid of? Is it brakes or does she nap? Anyhow whatever it is work on these things like teaching one rein stops and clicker training maybe out on the trail if shes a napper. Good Luck
 
I feel your pain. My TB has been off with injury and I was meant to start riding him properly a few weeks ago but I had exams so kind of used that as an excuse not to ride as the last time I attempted to take him out he was really naughty ( turns out he was in pain)

Anyhow I knew the longer I left it the worse it would be, so I rode him around the school a few times then tonight I rode and OH walked along with the dog. OH is not horsey is any way (although every time he comes to the yard he questions every thing I do) and if horse had gone mental he would have been no help at all but.. just having someone there can make you and the horse feel a bit more confident and relaxed.

Horse was a bit spooky and sharp but we made it round. So is there anyone that could accompany you ?
 
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