Lacking direction..Anyone else have no horsey people around them?

[karenjj]

Anyone else feel like they've lost direction with their horses? I do! I haven't lunged or ridden for 2 weeks now. I had hoped to do dressage and a bit of jumping later in the year with Jasper. Until 3 weeks ago I'd been having fortnightly lessons which are a mile hack up the road but after several napping issues which we got over I just feel there's no point. I can get him up the road to the lesson but I have to keep at him and not let him stop once, I have to have a market harborough on him to feel more in control and I just think surely it shouldn't be this stressful?!I was going to put him in the trailer and take him up there to get him more confident in a trailer and also so I don't have to dread the journey to the lesson! There is noone really I can hack out with and am now scared of hacking him out alone although know I could if I tried. I just see other people hacking out and making plans and feel a bit jealous :-( just feel a bit lost! I had wanted to go to sponsored rides and dressage but would feel a bit silly going alone?! I keep my horses on their own in a field behind my Mum and Dad's and so there's noone around to encourage me on etc. just wondered if some of you can kick me into action!!! Thanks!!

 

[MissMincePie&Brandy]

I kind of know what you mean. I grew up on my parents farm and we kept our horses there when I was a child, so there was no one to talk to for support, apart from my parents and they would gee me up, but I felt quite lonely at times. Now I am (a lot ) older and live no where near my parents I keep them at livery, and I honestly really enjoy the company so much. Even on the most rotten days, when the weather is discusting and my horses are playing up, there are other people around to have a laugh with, and I love all the discussions we have at the yard about all our horses aims, problems, health issues, etc.

Horses are expensive and they are suppose to be fun. Perhaps if there is space, you could advertise for a livery to share your field, then you would have some company and also someone to hack out with, or even have a look to see if there are any nice yards locally that you could move to???

 

[zoeshiloh]

Yes, I've had this in the past, and recently too. My parents are not horsey, and most of my horsey friends lack ambition or horsepower. The last couple of months have been a struggle for me - I got promoted at work, so I have had to spend more time away, haven't been able to ride etc. I've also had to sell some of my horses as I just haven't got the time for so many.

However, I have kicked myself into action now - I decided to get a saddler to come and check my saddles, and after finding that my dressage saddle no longer fitted, have had to shell out over £1k for a new one - this has given me a kick up the backside - I better ride now, or that is money down the drain! I have also just been given a lovely little filly, and she is so much fun to have around.

With regards to hacking, my lad is not easy to hack, and I have to plan hacks with meticulous preparation - is there likely to be any lorries/buses/tractors out on the road that I have to ride along? I would LOVE to just get on and ride out, but he has become so dangerous with big vehicles (not dangerous to them, but to me/himself - he backs into hedges/ditches etc just panics and has no self preservation) that I am worried to hack him out alone. The other girls at the yard go out on a Saturday/Sunday morning, and I am normally too rushed to go with them. I am hoping with the lighter evenings I might get a bit more hacking in, but I'm not holding my breath (farmers will be out spraying/fertilising shortly!)

I am not sure where the kick comes from - I always find visiting shows helps - you watch others ride/jump etc and think "yep, I'm going home and working on that".

 

[cloptonpartridge]

I Know ecactly how you feel i moved from norfolk to suffolk about 5 years ago leaving behind any support i had . I couldn,t bring my horses up for several moths so left them in the care of a supposed friend. when i eventually fond some were for them i was on my own with a complete hell cat of a cob. He had gone completly traffic shy and tried to go every were at a gallop i would have blisters on my hands after riding and was so alone. And things just got worse. eventually i fond a new frend who is a profesonal rider and she has worked wonders with him but i find i'm still to scared sometimes to ride him. He will never be a nice relaxing horse to ride again last year he had to spend 6 weeks at said frnds yard as he had put me in hospital with suspected broken back, neck and leg luckly nothing was broken but i was not allowed to ride till i was heeled. When i got him back he spooked out on our first ride together and broke my wrist. I still get back pain and sometimes i wonder why i bother, but i love him so i have to keep on trying. You will find horsey frends even if it takes a while. While i still am not brilliant my frend has got me into showing and she show jumps him and i love it . it is woth the wait belive me.

 

[phoebeast]

hi,
i've had the same problem for years. my parents bought a field and some stables for our pony, and during school and exams i left everything pretty much to my mum. i rode about once a month.
i recently however got a TB to do some 'proper' riding
keeping the story short, i just try and remind myself why i ride, and keep things fun and simple for me and the gee gees, and treat it like a job. and hour in the moring, 2 hours for riding then 1 hour in the evening and done!
i try to keep myself inspired as well. watching eventing and racing etc. gets me really keen. and i don't hesitate to blab on about my horses to any of my friends.
with napping, i decided to take some time out when it all came crashing down on me. i left it for a couple of weeks, got back on and went straight out. i had to get off a few times when she was being a bit dangerous (ie. backing out into a main road) but i persisted and now it feels like we're best friends...which is the best feelng in the world that no one around me could replace!

don't worry if you slack a bit, we all have our off days.

 

[Doncella]

Find a residential adult camp, not necessarily a riding club and join in with others.
I was having real napping issues with Mr Tw@t so I took him to camp at an equestrian centre about 70 miles away, my friend has regained her jumping confidence with her big horse and we go back for lessons and competitions.
We have booked again for 2 more this year. My friend wants to stay low key but I want to do BE and BS and this camp caters for all levels.
Unfortunately we are right across the country from you.
But if you want to mix it might be worth thinking about.
I live in Wales and it's about as insular as it gets so 70 miles is like just down the road for us.
Good Luck

 

[Kat]

If you have more than one horse why not get a sharer to help out with the jobs and the riding and be a hacking/schooling buddy???

If you don't have more than one riding horse then why not do some or all of the following:

1. Stick your location on this post and ask anyone in your area to PM you about being potential hacking buddies. (Obviously exercise sensible precautions before meeting anyone).
2. Stick a notice up at the place where you have lessons/local tack shop/local competition centre asking for hacking buddies.
3. Join a riding club, it might be a bit daunting the first couple of time you go but talk to people and go along to any socials/clinics/lessons and you will soon make friends.
4. Join the BHS and get on your local committee, you will meet other horsey types and be able to get involved with their activities but will have a worthwhile job to do as well. Our local group have fun rides and things and if you were on the committee you'd know people before you turned up.
5. Volunteer to fence judge/steward/write for a dressage judge at some nearby shows (any level) you will start to meet people and will have a good excuse to talk to them. You will normally get some sort of hospitality laid on too so you can meet the other stewards and judges.
6. Enrol on a course, BHS stage 1 would be a good starting point, there will be lots of people on the course that don't know anyone else in the group but they will all be horsey and you'll have a common aim. This is how my DH met his horsey friends.
7. Get a weekend job at a riding school or livery yard, again you will meet other people and you'll get paid for it!