Last days and keepsakes?

[pippixox]

Hi, I’ve posted a few times a while ago, I have a new forest pony who is only 7, diagnosis of severe liver damage in May, but not responded to treatment and most recent bloods showed abnormal white blood cells suggesting lymphoma (which probably explains why he hasn’t improved with treatment, including lots of steroids, fibrosis drug, supplement and tested a change of grazing and forage). He has showed very few symptoms except photosensitivity. He has just been a bit subdued the last few weeks and I have decided with no hope of him improving and every chance he will nose dive, to have him PTS next Friday. He is a stoic hardy pony who I worry hides his pain.

Any way, other than saying it ‘out loud’ and making arrangements (my mum having my two kids for the day as I have toddler and baby) and my horse friend being with me for the event. Is there anything you have or haven’t done before PTS?

I don’t want to suddenly start fussing him. He loves a bit of attention after his breakfast and then potters off to eat. I have not asked to have his ashes as I don’t feel I want them (plus stupid money!) but had anyone done any keepsakes? (He is barefoot so no shoes to keep but has plenty of mane and tail I could keep)
I thought about photos but I don’t want last photos really, as he is a boggy mess and I will be in tears.

So I think my final plan is just a bucket of yummy stuff!

 

[scats]

So sorry to hear about your horse xx I try to keep everything as normal as possible, I give them lots of treats just before hand and I cut some mane and tail off. I don’t really take many pictures once the decision is made as they are tinged with sadness for me. But I always have lots of lovely pictures from happier days.

Take care of yourself x

 

[OrangeAndLemon]

Your bravery in putting yourself through pain to spare him, is a credit to you. I'm so sorry. Take care of yourself.

 

[PapaverFollis]

I'm sorry, this is such a hard time. We went through it a couple of years ago. My OH's old lad. He didn't want ashes or keepsakes. We have some nice photos and all the memories.

The last couple of weeks he just got extra big bucket teas with his favourite treats on top and we sat in the field with him while he ate. He wasn't a horse that liked fuss but he enjoyed the quiet company. We just spent a bit more focussed time with him if that makes sense.

It's so hard but it's what we need to do for them at the end. Take care. X

 

[Mrs B]

I am sorry to hear that you're facing this: a difficult but brave decision at any time, but especially hard when he's only 7.

Like scats says, I don't take 'last' photos as they are forever sad ones for me ... I prefer to look back at happier photos, even if I know with hindsight that WAS the last time they/we ever did x, y or z.

Everyone's different, though and all I can do is tell you what makes it bearable for me. I stay close by; stroke them in their favourite spots, feed lots of treats if they're up to it and take comfort from the fact that I, as their most trusted and familiar face, will be the last person they see or hear as they leave: that I loved them as much as I could and I could do no more.

Wishing you strength next week and I think your plan about yummy stuff is a good one.

 

[NinjaPony]

So sorry to hear this. Losing a horse is so painful, especially when you have it planned in advance. When I had planned in advance, I took some mane and tail, gave my girl a wash and had some photos taken on a sunny day. The photos were painful to look at immediately after, but several years later I am grateful to have them. I also went to go and sit in her field, just sat and watched her grazing. Special treats are always welcome too.

 

[splashgirl45]

nothing more to say , really feel for you and hope all goes well on the day. yes lots of his favourite food is a good idea. mine went with her head in a bowl of chopped carrots as they were her favourites...... if you decide to take some mane or tail i would do it before the day as its something you may forget....good luck

 

[Peregrine Falcon]

I've taken mane and tail as keepsakes. I also cut some lovely roan fluff from my old girl who was put down in May. A friend and I had a fabulous locket made for our friend who had lost her pony to colic using his mane.

Towards the end my mare didn't want too much fuss. I fed her apples as they were her favourite and gave a piece to the huntsman to give to her.

Well done for making a very difficult decision. Caring and responsible owner. (Hugs)

 

[monkeymad]

I went through this about a month ago with my old pony. The worst bit was the week inbetween booking it and the actual deed being performed. I kept everything exactly the same. I had a bucket of feed with lots of sugar and polos in it, which I was holding up for him, and he was eating when he fell, with me telling him what an amazing pony he was. I also didnt feel the need to have a keepsafe, the most important thing for me was that I was with him right until he took his last breath - afterwards I went for the cheapest option to remove his body. I did lead my other horses over to his body so that they could sniff him and hopefully accept he had gone - I was on my own and actually found this process quite calming; altho I was in floods of tears whilst showing my others their little friend had gone, I think it enabled me get all the grief out of my system, as I was surprisingly 'ok' the following day. All the best x

 

[vmac66]

Always a horrid decision to make but ultimately the best. My horse Was pts on his favourite patch of grass and I kept some mane and tail hair. I eventually had a bracelet made from his tail hair. It has a silver heart on it with his name on. X

 

[Red-1]

I have not kept any keepsakes, but I have taken photos. When OH suggested it, I thought it was a bit strange, but TBH the horse seemed to know the day before, he went round the yard to the stables that used to be his and just had a long last look round. It was spooky.

He was calm and content, and looked a million dollars. The photos are the best we have ever had and are displayed. Although taken at a sad time they are surprisingly comforting, I think because he looked well and content. I use the photos to thank my lucky stars that we, like you, did not wait for them to go downhill. Also that he seemed to know and seemed happy with the situation.

 

[pippixox]

I will find some sharp scissors this weekend! He has wonderful thick mane and tail being a new forest. I think will get some photos printed when I feel strong enough to look through them all.

I’m hoping he can be pts in the grass coral next to the two fields his mates will be in. As then he won’t be at all stressed and they can all see him go. Although don’t want them to spook at the winch taking him away as it is boggy for them to slip around in. If needed I will bring him to the barns with my other two. But the groups are close.

Although I knew this day would come eventually, there was always a glimmer of hope. Back in May we assumed he would recover as the liver can be so resilient and he appeared so well. Had a blood test with results that came on the day I gave birth to my son and for the first time the bloods didn’t get worse (August). But Monday took away that hope and just trying to process it.

One more week and currently poor pony is getting soaked in this horrible torrential rain.

 

[Chippers1]

I'm sorry you are having to go through this for my old pony, he spent the last few years of his life going out daily into a large sand pen (he was very laminitic) so on the day he was PTS he was turned out in the field for the whole day and I came and sat with him then he had a huge sugary feed that he didn't even finish he was so stuffed I had a company who did the PTS and cremation come and the guy who came was so good and let me have as long as I wanted with him. I didn't hold him for the deed as I didn't want that to be my last memory but I assured him how much I loved him before I went.
He was cremated and is now buried in my mum's garden under a pear tree (pears were his favourite!) and I have a bracelet made out of his tail hair that I wear everyday.
The waiting time between booking and the day was the worst but i'm glad I was able to pick a day and not have the decision made for me by illness etc. He had EMS and even with his routine that had worked for years he was getting bouts of laminitis again so I picked a time when he was sound and happy

 

[TheresaW]

I had my old boy PTS 3 weeks ago today. I had 2 weeks from booking it to the day it was done, and I just carried on as normal. Even on the day he was PTS he had his big breakfast and his half a prascend. Some of his mane and tail was taken, I didn’t want ashes back either. Freckles22uk on here makes jewellery with the hair, and I’ve got a lovely bracelet, a pendant with hair in it, and key ring. There are some pics on a post in the club house if you want a look.

After he’d gone, I felt almost a relief, knowing he’d never ever suffer. We had it done just outside his field where my other 2 could see it all, but to be honest, they didn’t take any notice and don’t seem to have really noticed he’s gone. I do think the night before that they knew something though, as he and my mare were sharing hay, something that had never happened before. He never shared with any one.

Will be thinking of you xx

 

[Hollychops]

I had my mare PTS 2 years ago yesterday. I kept to the same routine in the days up to the actual day, on the morning she had a good groom and a walk out to have some grass until the vet arrived. I left as soon as it was done as i didnt want to see her winched up into the back of the truck. I also made sure i was on my own on the day so i could deal with the tears and hurt in my own way. It worked for me but not everyone is the same. It was important for me that i held her and said my goodbyes and then walked away. I didnt get any mane and tail and sometimes wish i had, but i have her last 2 back shoes and lots of photos and memories. I still miss her like mad and her stable door still bears her name plate but it was the right decision for her.

Just do what feels right for you and your boy and give yourself time to grieve. Will be thinking of you xx

 

[ester]

One other thought, re. no shoes, there was someone online who would make small silver hoof bottoms instead I think from a photo which I have pondered. I suspect I will keep some hair but not do anything particular with it.

https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/198...lver-horse-hoof?ref=pla_similar_listing_top-3

 

[Floxie]

So sorry As sensitive as it is, I always point people at this when they're cutting hair as a keepsake:

If you've got time to plan it seems a shame not to take enough hair, properly, that it will be potentially useful should you want to do something with it in the future x

 

[Identityincrisis]

So sorry to hear this. Losing a horse is so painful, especially when you have it planned in advance. When I had planned in advance, I took some mane and tail, gave my girl a wash and had some photos taken on a sunny day. The photos were painful to look at immediately after, but several years later I am grateful to have them. I also went to go and sit in her field, just sat and watched her grazing. Special treats are always welcome too.

This is exactly what I did. I spent some 'us' time. I sat in the field with him, I sat in the stable with him. I even buted him up and took him for a potter and one last canter (ex racer who loved to run!) and took loads of photos and I'm so pleased I did as every photo I have of him is incredibly precious now.

But what suits one of us doesn't suit the other, do what makes you both happy

I feel for you, it is horrendous

 

[starfish8]

When I lost my boy earlier this year, I spent the day with him and my mum took photos and videos which I still cannot bring myself to look at. I had my favourite (from before his problems started) picture of him and my other horse put onto canvas, and have a lovely silver horseshoe pendant which I wear all the time. I have his ashes and some tail hair that my friend took - I'm not sure I'll do anything with it though.

 

[LaurenBay]

I lost my Horse 2 weeks ago, I am so sorry you are going through this. It is pretty tough.

For the week leading up to it, I spolit her rotten. She had her favourite treats and a bigger feed. The day before my family came up and we took some photos of us together, I gave her a really long groom. The morning of, I came to the field with, carrots, pears, polos, big feed and a bag of the richest haylage I could find. I sat on the floor with her and watched her eat. I told her how much she meant to me and that I loved her very much. She went very peacefully. I too did not opt for the ahses back, firstly it was very expensive and secondly I wouldn't know what to do with them. I have a shoe (from when she was actually shod) and some tail hair. I haven't washed the tail hair yet, I can't quite bring myself too because at the moment it still smells of her.

 

[MrsMozart]

Very sorry to read that you're going to lose him.

I've always kept some mane or tail hair.

Where it's been possible in at least the day before I've different time with them, just moving and doing whatever they seem happy and comfortable with.

On the day I've always had a friend with me. I'll stay with the horse till s/he has stopped breathing, then the friend has taken over after I've had some time. I've done this bit for others and it's not grand although the people have always been lovely.

I sit with the horse for a while. Just talking to him / her, stroking, making my peace.

I hope all goes as well as it can.

 

[Polos Mum]

Sorry for your loss - this made me smile

 

[pippixox]

Yes it’s my first own horse PTS, but sadly I have been around 4 of my friends horses PTS to help.
Vet is coming for injection and I will hold him until he goes, like I did with my dog.
I know it is the right decision. He would have at most months anyway, but this week is going to be very hard.

Thanks for your advise and kind words

 

[ElectricChampagne]

So sorry to hear your news. You're incredibly brave! You are doing the right thing.
If you're gonna take some tail, I'd suggest getting a plaiting band and tying a decent chunk up as near to the dock as you possibly can, then plait it all the way to the bottom as tightly as you can muster, then tie another band at the bottom of the plait. Cut the plait out at the top above the band so that it will hold it once its out. I'd take a decent enough chunk cos then you can decide to get some jewelry made at a later date if you wish.

On the day just continue as normal, a nice groom and lots of his favourite feed and treats and tell him you love him!

big hugs.

 

[Finlib]

These are good bought a couple of things from them
https://www.tailendjewellery.co.uk/

 

[Pinkvboots]

Sorry for your loss - this made me smile

View attachment 27954

I love this made me laugh and cry at the same time, I still have both of my mares tails, I have graces whole tail as it was plaited when she was pts so I just cut the whole thing.

 

[supagran]

So sorry you are having to go through this. It is one of the hardest things we ever get to do, but also one of the kindest. After ours have gone we have planted apple trees, and each one is called after the horse it commemorates. Its lovely to be able to feed the apples back to the horses we have now. For some reason, we don't eat them although they are eating apples.

 

[MiJodsR2BlinkinTite]

Couldn't by-pass this thread without saying how very sorry I am.

I had my two oldies PTS back mid-October, we did them together on the same day as they'd have only grieved if one was left without the other.

The worst part, as others have said, was the week between "making the vet's appointment" and the actual morning. That was just awful.

The day before was a lovely sunny autumn day, so they both had a wash and brush-up and a pamper! And some carrots. With my old boy, I took off his sweet-itch rug for the last few days, there was a nice breeze at the time and it was just so nice for him at the end to not have to wear his rug.

On the morning, my friend (who previously owned my mare) came over and was there to support. We gave them treats; plus Marmite sandwiches for Old Boy as he loved them and it was good to give him something he liked to lick his lips with as everything was being made ready.

We'd already taken of some of their tails, which I have in the tack-room, not made any decisions yet about what to do with it.

Thinking of you OP and sending hugs; you are doing this for your boy, and aren't passing the problem on to someone else down the line. There's nothing else you can do for him, and you're giving him the best gift you ever possibly could.

 

[Carlosmum]

So to hear this, especially such a young pony. When I lost mine rather suddenly he was PTS following surgery, I asked the vet to cut some tail & take his shoes off, fortunately we were in the position to be able to bury him at home, so I didn't have to worry about disposal costs. I had a stock pin made from some of his tail hair, made a photo collage of some of my favourite pics and bought a rose for the garden in his stable colour ( lilac ( dont ask!)), planted the remains of his hair under the rose bush. For a long time I couldn't ride passed his burial spot but now I say hello to him each time & enjoy the happy memories.