Lesson report - Yippeeee confidence is returning! :D

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Ashleigh_

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Hi everyone!

As some of you know I've battled really badly with my confidence since getting my 'rocket-up-the-bum' cob rather than my planned kick-a-long! I haven't ridden in ages now and it got to the point where I knew i've got to do something about it, Ronnie deserves better - someone who can handle him and re educate him not to tank off (naughty bugger :D)

I managed to get hold of this lovely lady that even a few of you on here recommended and we did some long reining - a first for both Ronnie and myself! It was fab!! :D

All we did was walk around and practice halt (I know it sounds incredibly boring for some of you) but I was so proud of how well he picked it up through voice commands and even when he got silly he learnt immediately, if not on second go that it wasn't going to achieve anything. We got him bending nicely too in a figure of eights and it was so lovely to see him start off very fizzy and nervous and then progress into working quietly, calmly and of course, listening to us!

My plan is to continue with it for the rest of the week to reinforce everything we learnt today and next week have another lesson to see how we have improved and take on a couple of other steps :)

I just want to recommend it to anyone who has lost their confidence. I know it's not exactly riding and i'm sure lots have tried it anyway, but I already feel so much better about things and it gives you a chance to be on even terms with your horse again and build up slowly without shoving a stronger bit in for a quick fix :)

Sorry for the ramble, i'm just so pleased that i've turned this corner for both him and I and wanted to share!

No photos i'm afraid, but here is one of Ronnie from yesterday evening x
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He is gorgeous! Handsome chappie :)

Congrats on the progress, well done you! I know how awful it is losing your confidence, it's a long haul to get it back with some very unpleasant feelings.

You've done really well :)
 
Fantastic news Ashleigh. You have done exactly the right thing getting help with your confidence. I have had confidence issues for years on and off. I know I'll never totally conquer my nerves enough to gallop over a xc course but I will do a Prelim dressage test at a competition now and I will canter when out on a hack.
I had help when I was at the end of my tether with my nerves and I was helped with the psychology side as much as my riding. I was told to do lots and lots of stuff that was in my comfort zone, whatever that was, it could be just grooming or leading in hand or riding in walk in the school.
Then the next stage - the bits that weren't so far off, such as trotting in the school and hacking in walk in company, were my 'Target zone' and I was to push myself, with the help of a friend/instructor into that target zone once a week. But still do most stuff that was in my comfort zone.
Other stuff like cantering/jumping/galloping etc were in the 'no-go zone' and I wasn't even allowed to consider them!
Eventually things that were in my 'Target zone' became my 'Comfort zone' and stuff that was in the 'No-go zone' moved into my target zone.
I think what I am trying to say is - do lots and lots of stuff that is in your comfort zone and eventually things get easier!
 
Nickibelle said:
Fantastic news Ashleigh. You have done exactly the right thing getting help with your confidence. I have had confidence issues for years on and off. I know I'll never totally conquer my nerves enough to gallop over a xc course but I will do a Prelim dressage test at a competition now and I will canter when out on a hack.
I had help when I was at the end of my tether with my nerves and I was helped with the psychology side as much as my riding. I was told to do lots and lots of stuff that was in my comfort zone, whatever that was, it could be just grooming or leading in hand or riding in walk in the school.
Then the next stage - the bits that weren't so far off, such as trotting in the school and hacking in walk in company, were my 'Target zone' and I was to push myself, with the help of a friend/instructor into that target zone once a week. But still do most stuff that was in my comfort zone.
Other stuff like cantering/jumping/galloping etc were in the 'no-go zone' and I wasn't even allowed to consider them!
Eventually things that were in my 'Target zone' became my 'Comfort zone' and stuff that was in the 'No-go zone' moved into my target zone.
I think what I am trying to say is - do lots and lots of stuff that is in your comfort zone and eventually things get easier!
Click to expand...

That's such a good way of thinking about things! :) I was going to write a list of everything I wanted to complete/ be able to do without worrying within the next month, and the month after that but I think the whole 'target zone' sounds much better. I guess that way, if I hadn't managed to complete everything I can't become despondent as it's a TARGET and not a 'to do' list of things that MUST be done.
Thanks so much for that advice! xx
 
Yay! Congrats, and all of that groundwork is relationship/trust building, as well as confidence building. Thus meaning that the next stages will be made easier because you and Ronnie (who I love, by the way, so handsome!) will be used to spending time/working together :)

After four and a half months of being nannied, Monty and I have been accused of being brave and adventurous these last couple of weeks, after leading our more established buddies on new routes, insisting on going on long hacks in the wind, and voluntary jumping :D I didn't think I'd ever again have enough confidence to lead a canter on a hack, never mind go out/jump/canter alone/instigate new adventures! Best part is I don't now even think about a lot of stuff that used terrify me. If another horse is acting up, I just ride Monty straight on. If he starts knobbing around I push him on and find myself actually grinning at his antics.

So you'll definitely get there (if I can do it, truly anyone can) - just do it at your own pace, and trust Ronnie :)
 
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