Life after horses?

[pistolpete]

I’ve got nothing to ride currently and without all the boring details I’m unlikely to have another horse of my own. I’ve had shares and loans offered but nothing has worked out. Either money or the horse or the people have been wrong. My question is what do you do if you don’t have a horse anymore. I walk the dog and meet friends I’m retired. But I feel life is so boring and a bit pointless. I need to find something new but what???

 

[silv]

I don't know really, I cannot imagine not having horses in my life. Could you volunteer at some shows, stewarding or dressage writing perhaps? That way you would still be involved.

 

[DSB]

RDA,horses,people who like horses,people who love horses,horsey people.....with a few dogs thrown in for good measure and the ability to chat /have coffee afterwards.
Not to mention that you are enabling people,who otherwise may not be able to ride,to learn to enjoy somethhing that has given you great pleasure.
Give it a Go!

 

[Red-1]

I would sit with it until spring. It is a terrible time of year anyway right now. More opportunities may come as the weather improves.

I would still be a member of a riding club and do some work with them. I took some time out at RC camp last year and found members there, who weren't riding, really enjoying the camp experience. Dare I say it, the spectator members seemed to enjoy it more than some of the riders!

 

[Birker2020]

Its frustrating PP. Although I've a horse I can't ride. Most people just don't understand the utter frustration of not riding and i can't watch as I miss it so much so i feel your pain.

Can you join a gym and enjoy some classes, maybe swimming/sauna/spa?That's what I did and it gave me something to focus on.

Have you a dog? Maybe you could go for some nice walks.

Do you have friends?. I think I'd have gone mad without support from people. We do a games night which is great fun. There's usually five of us and we get a takeaway as well as a bit of a chat.

How about buying a bicycle and go for some nice rides round the countryside?
I hope you find something to fill your time.

Motivation is easy to lose so you need to keep busy.

 

[Greylegs]

Following with interest, as I am currently grounded following an injury. I have two horses - my retired old boy and a young one in work - but am faced with the prospect of never riding again due to the nature of my injury.

But, my horses live on a great yard near my house, where the owner and other liveries are good friends and I enjoy just pottering about there with them. I am involved in a local riding club, helping with the admin and attending events to help steward and indulge in my other hobby, photography (I take pics of people competing). So, I think the answer is to stay involved in other ways, have other hobbies and diversify your life a bit. And if you want to pop over and take my mare for a hack, you’d be very welcome

 

[Kaylum]

I volunteer at a horse sanctuary we are always wanting new people. It's great place to meet new friends and its not just mucking out, they have many different volunteer roles.

 

[Crazy_cat_lady]

I'm loving life without horses! Would never go back and have ridden once in the last year. Do not miss it at all and certainly wouldn't want to help out at competitions etc.

What about something like the gym?
Learning a new arts and craft?
Photography while you're dog walking?
National Trust membership so you can explore different places on your walks?
Reading?
Listening to children reading at your local school?

If you want to still be involved how about volunteering at a dog or horse rescue?

Obviously you may not be religious so completely ignore if you're not but our local church are often holding lots of volunteer run events etc and they seem a right community, so could be an option depending if you're religious or not

 

[Trouper]

At 76, and far too decrepit to own another horse, I feel your pain. The trouble is a horse-shaped hole will always be that - a horse-shaped hole that isn't filled by anything that isn't horse-shaped.

I don't know the answer because I haven't found it. I do know that whatever else you do it has to be something you love or it just becomes a poor "substitute". I guess the only way is to try lots of different things and see if one of them brings you that same spark

 

[HeresHoping]

I took up shooting (clays) and I go beating during the season, which is a great way to meet new people. I also joined the local gym, and found my local adult learning college (which was 40 miles away) and did a class out of my comfort zone - namely Improvisation. Next term I am going to do a writing course.

 

[Errin Paddywack]

I still miss riding but know that practically it is unlikely I will ever get on a horse again. For me dog agility filled the hole very well. I get the same buzz out of getting it right, whether training or competing and far less dangerous. Not for everyone of course but all sorts do it, able bodied or not. My husband took up bowls when he got past anything really active and was well and truly hooked. Just a matter of finding something you enjoy where you will find like minded people.

 

[pistolpete]

Thanks everyone for replies. Some ideas there I hadn’t tried. I do volunteer at a local riding therapy centre twice or three times a week. I also walk miles with the dog. I tried some local classes but didn’t enjoy ‘group’ therapy! Good to hear I’m not alone and will persevere trying to find an uncomplicated hack I think. Keep the ideas coming though. Thanks again for all your input.

 

[splashgirl45]

At 76, and far too decrepit to own another horse, I feel your pain. The trouble is a horse-shaped hole will always be that - a horse-shaped hole that isn't filled by anything that isn't horse-shaped.

I don't know the answer because I haven't found it. I do know that whatever else you do it has to be something you love or it just becomes a poor "substitute". I guess the only way is to try lots of different things and see if one of them brings you that same spark

I’m the same age and apart from having had hip ops my arthritis seems to be everywhere and I was struggling but still riding, had an accident which caused a bleed on the brain and I now can’t ride and it’s been killing me. My answer was to get another dog and put my time and energy into my dogs . It helps but there is still a huge horse hole in my life which won’t go away..

 

[Pearlsacarolsinger]

I haven't ridden since I broke my leg in 2020, when a couple of underlying health issues were uncovered and I do miss it. Our horses are at home but I have a very green cob, if I still had the old Draft mare, I would have been back on board long ago.
However I have got more involved with the RDA group that I have supported to varying degrees for over 30 yrs. Because I am retired I can support riders during the working day, when it is more difficult for most volunteers to be available.

 

[Winters100]

I would say keep trying and eventually you will find someone who is very glad to have some help riding. I am always a bit confused that there seems to be 2 groups who never meet! In one group the many people who say that they do not have time to give their horses adequate exercise, and are struggling with fitness and weight, and the other group of many people who have time, and would like to ride, but for whatever reason do not have their own horse.

Speaking personally I have a lovely couple who come to ride 2 of mine a few times a week. They are more 'happy hacker' types than me, so it gives the horses a bit of variety. They have also been happy to step in and look after the horses when I have been ill. This is not so difficult as they are on part livery, the yard provides all care excluding riding / lunging, but I like the horses to move every day, and it is always good that someone checks that all is properly done. Maybe you can look for a similar set up? I do not ask for a financial contribution, because I see it as a 'win-win' situation, if I did not have them I would need to pay someone to move the horses when I can't be there, and likewise if they could not ride mine they would have to buy or pay to ride, so we are all equal.

In your position I would be talking to all of my horsey friends and telling them that I could help out if they needed. There may well be someone who would love help, but it has simply not occurred to them that you might be interested. In fact I only came to the arrangement with this couple because they visited the yard, and when I saw them it suddenly dawned on me that maybe they would like to ride again (they used to keep a horse there but sadly lost it to colic).

Keep asking and looking, if nothing else it will give you a bit of a social life visiting old contacts and seeing what they are up to!

Good luck, and don't lose hope, if you want to ride again there will be a way.

 

[pistolpete]

Helps to know I’m not alone. I still have my highland on grass livery near my house. At least I get to pat a pony daily but it’s the riding I miss.

 

[Cortez]

I'm loving life without horses! Would never go back and have ridden once in the last year. Do not miss it at all and certainly wouldn't want to help out

This absolutely ◇◇◇ I completely surprised myself by simply walking away from a lifetime with horses without a backward glance. There is an entire world out there to be explored and the time (and spare money) to do it. I enjoy not being a "horse bore" any more too.

ETA I can bore on MANY other subjects

 

[paddy555]

an electric bike, (or an ordinary one if you are happy to pedal) put it in or on your car, take the dog and go and explore canal towpaths and disused railway lines. Lots of dogs run happily alongside bikes. There are usually plenty of small cafes, pubs or towns to get food/coffee. Makes a good day out.

 

[Toby_Zaphod]

When I first met my wife her sister & she had 2 ponies. One reached 4 years old & due to certain problems he had our vet advised he be put down. The other one lived to a ripe old age dying at 30+ years. We did not replace the ponies, got marreied & had a family. When our daughter got a good report card we always treated them & the treat they both wanted was a pony day. That's how they were introduced to ponies & horses. They became helpers at the riding school and worked through 2 winters, they were first on the yard & last to leave every weekend so we then bought them a pony for Christmas. The pony was brought to the yard & we'd piled up all the tack needed in our dining room. We'd dome presents in the lounge & we sent them into the dining room to open curtains. Then they saw the tack and realised the had a pony. They were in tears of delight. Little did they know that their pony had been at the stables for a few weeks, they had looked after him with no idea he was theirs.

That was the restart of ponies/horses in our family. As they grew up the came too big for the pony so we moved onto horses, infact we ended up with 2 and wife rides one & daughter rides the other. I'm well past the retirment age & don't do as much with the animals as I used to. I've found other things to do rather than looking after the horses. It's not difficult. I still drive down to see them but do little regarding mucking out, poo picking etc.

 

[MuddyMonster]

I think a lot of how easy the transition is into non-horsey life depends a lot if you've chosen to give up or been forced into giving up due to horse/rider injury, finances or other factors outside your control.

I have plenty going on in my life other than horse's (plenty of people don't know I have a horse, so certainly no horse bore ) but I would be devastated if I could no longer ride if I was injured for example as I love riding and the freedom it brings so much.

So it's natural to grieve for it OP.

Are you able to have lessons or hack to keep your hand in? That way you're still in practise if something does come up for loan or share

How about volunteering for endurance or Trec events? I find they are generally a friendly bunch and grateful for any help!

Can you do more with the dog - agility, flyback, obedience or tracking or something that involves a bit of training hours and perhaps a bit competitive or days out? An online behavioural course or something?

Ditto the cycling or walking suggestions I think if I couldn't ride I'd do far more to still be out in the countryside. We have a few cycling and walking groups locally so it can be very sociable!

Good luck

 

[pistolpete]

Muddy Monster you’re spot on. I do feel I was forced to stop riding my own. One pts and one retired lame. So yes that inevitably colours the picture.

 

[lme]

Not sure whether you have anything similar near you pistolpete but I sometimes go hacking with a woman who runs escorted hacks for competent riders on fit ISHs. A lot of her clients previously had their own horses but life / jobs in London got in the way. I go there to ride with a friend who does not have her own horse.

 

[Birker2020]

Helps to know I’m not alone. I still have my highland on grass livery near my house. At least I get to pat a pony daily but it’s the riding I miss.

Totally understandable.

I used to love taking myself off for hours on my own, whether that was at the local riding club competing or going off for a hack or a fun ride, I used to do 6 or 7 a year on my last horse. Nothing nicer than time with just you and your horse, its very special I think.

I hope you manage to find a loan.

 

[splashgirl45]

What gets me at the moment as so many share horses are coming up that would be ideal for me and I can’t apply for them even though mentally I would love to but physically I mustn’t.

 

[sakura]

I still have my horse and ride occasionally, but the competitive, regular riding I used to enjoy has long gone. Now in my spare time, I like to explore National Trusts and am an active "websleuther".

 

[canteron]

This absolutely ◇◇◇ I completely surprised myself by simply walking away from a lifetime with horses without a backward glance. There is an entire world out there to be explored and the time (and spare money) to do it. I enjoy not being a "horse bore" any more too.

ETA I can bore on MANY other subjects

Haha Cortez - the majority of your posts on HHO celebrate your joy of not being involved with horses.

 

[marmalade76]

If it's riding your missing, find someone who wants help exercising, some nice hunters, perhaps? If it's just the contact you miss, find someone who wants a bit of help? I'd find both easily and I have considered giving up having my own but I quite like having my own yard, if I gave that up I'd have nowhere to keep my hens!

 

[Skib]

OP I didnt start riding till I was 61. Do not rule out going to a RS. One thing leads to another. I have never owned and yet I have twice had a share to hack solo. And still do.
I agree there is nothing like beng out there alone in a landscape with a horse.
My first share aged 24 belonged to the YO and was fully retired except for me hacking her twice a week. No one else wanted to hack her as she had a habit of ditching the staff. I would observe that my favourite hacks both had a habit of ditching staff. I concluded that some horses dont like professional riders but are happy to charge about on a long rein with an old witch on their backs,

I started hacking my current share solo when there was no one available to take me out. And I always read @Cortez posts so you could think of me riding as her proxy, though innocent of any expertise.

 

[Orangehorse]

When my sister decided she could no longer look after her horse, she decided to sell up - horse, trailer, tack, everything. She was in her early 70s and found the physical work just too much.

She then went round different riding schools that offered hacking and found one that she really liked and continued to ride there for another 4 years or so, until a problem with her hip made her give up. The riding there was really excellent, just lovely countryside with hardly any road work.

She said that compared to keeping a horse - shoes, vet, worming, feed - she felt that her weekly ride wasn't too big an expense (of course it has gone up recently). But she just had to turn up, ride, get off, pay and hand over the horse. She might not have gone every week but it kept her fit and riding.

As a bonus, some of the riders there were going eventing, so my sister used to go and watch them and support them.

 

[Ditchjumper2]

I still miss riding but know that practically it is unlikely I will ever get on a horse again. For me dog agility filled the hole very well. I get the same buzz out of getting it right, whether training or competing and far less dangerous. Not for everyone of course but all sorts do it, able bodied or not. My husband took up bowls when he got past anything really active and was well and truly hooked. Just a matter of finding something you enjoy where you will find like minded people.

I too am doing more dog agility to fill the gap. I struggle because the loss of my husband, lorry and horse forced it upon me rather than my choice. However having more money is a definite bonus!