Life After PTS. Am i bad??

ibot

Well-Known Member
Joined
12 March 2008
Messages
2,924
Location
Who Knows Moved That Often
Visit site
Hey all

so how are you all?

So its been two weeks since eddie got put to sleep, they have been so hard i have cried like i never have before.
The hardest thing is when i go to the yard and im use to seeing him sat next to me in the frount :mad: im sure my horse is wondering where he is or do you think he knows??

So i have got good news to report we have found a puppy :D
Who i am sure eddie sent me he is a 6 week old jack russel X norfolk terrier so the same as eddie but looks totally different he is black and white and the cutiest thing ever.
I guess i have put eddie to the side of my head as the puppy comes today (fri) and then i got a phone call yesterday to say eddies ashes are ready and it was like i had been punched in the stomach :(:(
It totally floored me ive hardly slept since we decided to get the puppy as i feel like im being disrespectful to eddie. Am i???
I hate being without a dog it just does not make me whole :(
We are calling the puppy Mickey and of course i will post photos when he comes. his name is due to his black ears :D

how long did you wait and did you feel like me. i feel like ive gone throu the stages but im kind of stuck in guilt that i should have done more.


thank you so much for listening again this has been bothering me :(
 

AngieandBen

Well-Known Member
Joined
23 October 2009
Messages
1,809
Location
Leicestershire
Visit site
:( I was in the same position a few weeks ago, we had to have Jake put to sleep on 7th January. I hated being without dogs, so we bought a Cairn puppy four weeks ago.

I did feel a little guilty, but I think Jake would have loved Polly, they are very similar; I go and visit Jakes grave daily, the tears are getting less and the smiles more :)

Don't worry it all takes time, once your puppy is here you will be very busy! enjoy him xx
 

Cinnamontoast

Fais pas chier!
Joined
6 July 2010
Messages
35,360
Visit site
I waited two weeks exactly and it was a mad impulsive move. The awful thing is, Jake would have loved the puppies but his remaining brother did not. :(

I personally resented them at first: one is a 'hard' dog and I regretted getting two. However, now, they are amazing and I adore them, how can you not?

It's good, I think, to take your mind off the sadness and to have to focus on a pup: can't wait for pics!
 

Bosworth

Well-Known Member
Joined
10 February 2006
Messages
5,267
Location
devon
www.ballhillequestrian.co.uk
I had Bosworth PTS on the Monday morning, following a very brief but nasty illness and rang up about a litter of Bedlington puppies that afternoon, That Saturday I collected Flodden. My life was totally empty with Boz not there, but Floddy filled a little part of that gap immediately. Bosworth could never be replaced, Flodden is nothing like him but I love him and did from day 1. Micky will help fill the gap that Eddie left, he will never replace him, nor will you forget him.
 

ChesnutsRoasting

Well-Known Member
Joined
15 December 2009
Messages
3,353
Visit site
Everybody's different with how they deal with grief. When my first BT died suddenly, I was bereft, I missed my little man so much, even though I still had my remaining girls with me. I decided I needed another boy to help fill the very the large hole he had left . I rang his breeder and she had a litter due imminently, I reserved a boy and eight weeks later picked up the pup. He is completely different both physically and mentally and has certainly helped me remember the good times and not dwell on his death.
 

Inthemud

Well-Known Member
Joined
18 November 2011
Messages
301
Visit site
For many people, getting another dog, is the only thing that helps them get through the grieving process.

We waited about a year, after losing our 15 and 16 year old spaniels, in quite quick succession. Whilst we were being very sensible (checking we really wanted another dog, rather than getting one through habit), it was horrible and I regret not getting another pup much sooner!
 

Sparkly Snowdrop

Well-Known Member
Joined
8 March 2011
Messages
614
Location
The wilds of Yorkshire
Visit site
We lost our older sheepdog in January, I do still miss her so much, everyday. We do have a younger dog who has really helped us cope with our loss but I do feel that the house isn't the same with only one dog, so the plan is to get another after lambing time. I don't feel that we are replacing her by any means, just getting anothe family member!
 

Dobiegirl

Well-Known Member
Joined
2 February 2011
Messages
6,900
Location
Wildest Somerset
Visit site
When I lost my Battersea rescue dog I waited 3 years before having another dog but I did have a baby in between.

When Fred was pts I had Darcy & Diesel within 6 weeks, I would have had them sooner but had to wait for a house check.

I wouldnt condemn anyone who replaces their previous dog with another, as long as its not an impulse and is carefully thought out, it does help with the grieving process.
 

Steeleye Span

Member
Joined
19 December 2011
Messages
25
Location
Rural Kent on the East Sussex border
Visit site
When my beloved Daft (Veda) was PTS just before Christmas, I was heartbroken and felt totally lost without him by my side. He had been beside me through so much. Whilst telling his breeder about his death she mentioned that they would be breeding from his litter mate sister (the breeders kept one of the bitches from the litter and my ex partner and I had one of the girls along with Veda). Well the inevitable happened and I decided I would be interested in having one of the boys from the litter...
Fate is a strange thing and the litter was made up of 4 little bitches...However, after much debating (I had taken on an older female BC just before my boy was PTS) because I wasn't sure about two bitches together, I finally decided to take the plunge and I collected my young Pearl last June. She is fab....but I still miss my boy :(
 

lakesgirl

Active Member
Joined
1 April 2011
Messages
41
Location
Dumfries
Visit site
I waited 1 day before going to see another dog after mine was PTS:eek:

I hadn't gone out looking for another dog,I was at a loose end,it was my day off and I would normally have been out walking my dog,but I ended up at Pets at Home looking at their noticeboard and I spotted Craven looking for a new home.:)

I went to see him straight away,but took a few days before I decided to have him.
 

numptynoelle

Well-Known Member
Joined
26 July 2009
Messages
6,753
Location
North of the Wall
Visit site
There's no right or wrong, you just have to do what feels right for you :)

Personally, I'm still not ready for another dog after losing my spangle nearly 2 years ago - my ex-OH got a new dog and is happy with her (and his wife :eek:) but I'm still not ready. I went as far as looking at rescues but, nope, I just can't do it yet. I get my doggy fix by walking others on occasion, and house-sit too, but I'm not ready.

So no, in short, you're not bad! We will need lots of pics when pup arrives :D :D
 

MyBoyChe

Well-Known Member
Joined
17 April 2008
Messages
4,554
Location
N. Bucks
Visit site
I waited exactly 1 day after losing Sophie, I went to look at a litter of pups and reserved a little girl who came home 4 weeks later. When our other old springer died almost exactly 12 months later I called the same breeder and was able to collect another little pup 2 weeks later. Both the new pups, now 1 and 2 years old, are completely different to their predecessors but have filled the huge gaps left by them. They helped me cope with the losses by taking my mind off it, you cant sit and mope for long with a little pup who needs looking after and cuddling :) Everyone is different but personally I need to have a couple of dogs in my house (we have 3) to feel complete :)
 

Kellys Heroes

Well-Known Member
Joined
13 May 2010
Messages
3,396
Location
Manchester
Visit site
Our beloved GSD was PTS beginning of October 2011. We got our new girl towards the end of October 2011.

We are sure that Tara sent her for us - she was 12 months old when we picked her up from Tara's breeders - she had been neglected (temporarily homed by Taras breeders) and left in a back yard with little food and no socialisation, she was desperately thin and very frightened of everything. We went to see her one Saturday and came home with her - she is SO like Tara it's unbelievable. I believe she was just there at the right time.

We obviously still miss Tara and that will never go away but Roxy's given our Goldie a new lease of life and a play mate and we've given Roxy a new life where she has someone to depend on. Personally our house doesn't feel right with only one dog as we've always had 2 or more.

There's no reason to feel guilty at all, I'm sure our beloved dogs would prefer us to be happy.
K x
 
Last edited:

Faro

...
Joined
15 April 2008
Messages
1,658
Location
South Bucks
Visit site
The way I see it is: You can never replace a much loved dog (or any animal) that has passed away. However, you can always give that dog's space to another one, if there is that space in your life that needs to be filled. So no, you are NOT a bad person.
 

ladyearl

Well-Known Member
Joined
4 April 2009
Messages
837
vvv
I lost my girl in August and was devastated I knew straight away I would get another dog though. In October I started the hunt and then I broke my wrist so put things on hold. Got my new girl at the end of January. I cried on the way to collect her as I was thinking about my old girl but once I met her it was the start of something completely different and new. I still feel the pain of losing Meg but having Tess means I'm back in the dog owning community and it's where I like to be!
 

Angelbones

Well-Known Member
Joined
6 April 2008
Messages
2,295
Location
East Sussex
Visit site
I'm sorry about the loss of your dog, but I'm also very excited about your new puppy :) I have a JRT x NT, can't wait to see what yours looks like.

Everyone deals with grief in their own way. Its probably the only thing I'm likely to fall out with my best friend over; we grieve in totally different ways and for different lengths of time.

My daughter's cat was killed on the road yesterday. In a couple of weeks i'll be looking for a new one. Its not out with the old, in with the new. Its what she needs to move on.

You can't do anything about your poor lost dog, but you are allowed to do whatever helps you 'heal' and if that means taking on a new pup and investing your love and energy into giving him a great life like you did for your last dog, then that's what you do. Chin up, and enjoy! :)
 

willhegofirst

Well-Known Member
Joined
6 February 2008
Messages
639
Location
Wales, just.
Visit site
When we lost our first collie it was two days after our youngest sons birthday, the collie we got to replace her 12 weeks later, was born on the day she died, we lost her this Jan aged 15 and a half she was the best family dog ever and I am sure she had a little bit of Zoe in her.
 

maresmaid

Well-Known Member
Joined
28 April 2011
Messages
539
Visit site
When i lost my first dog i felt just like you. Then someone told me that i shouldn't feel guilty for bringing another dog into my life as it was a tribute to the dog i had lost that there was such an empty hole. My second dog was totally different from the first, she gave me love and comfort, always ready for a cuddle and helped me cope with the loss. When she died i missed her terribly, but for all different reasons than my first dog, but i knew that my home wasn't the same without a dog, my present dog is different again, she doesn't do cuddles but she loves to play and its hard to sad when she is around. I never replaced the dogs i lost, because each dog bought me something new - and in each case the new dog had a quality that helped me cope with the loss of a dear friend.
 

Bendyhorse

Well-Known Member
Joined
15 February 2012
Messages
135
Visit site
I had our vet out to the house to have my boy put to sleep. Mum wasnt able to be in the house, which surprised me how much it affected her because tho I knew she loved him she never made a fuss. It took me a long time to be able to think about him without crying, and now I smile when I think of how he was. There was no doubt having him PTS was the best thing and I think the vet and the nurse that came out were truely wonderful.

Funny tho, 4 years on and I have moved out of the family home and both me and mum still put our shopping on the counter (when our old boy used to see what we had bought. Mum still opens the door to the kitchen and expects to see him layed there and shes almost ready to step over him. She still opens the patio door in the morning like she used to. 16 years was a long time and it just shows that routine sticks and we chuckle when we do it cos he was our family too.

You will be ok, the hardest part is saying goodbye. xxx
 

ibot

Well-Known Member
Joined
12 March 2008
Messages
2,924
Location
Who Knows Moved That Often
Visit site
I'm sorry about the loss of your dog, but I'm also very excited about your new puppy :) I have a JRT x NT, can't wait to see what yours looks like.

Everyone deals with grief in their own way. Its probably the only thing I'm likely to fall out with my best friend over; we grieve in totally different ways and for different lengths of time.

My daughter's cat was killed on the road yesterday. In a couple of weeks i'll be looking for a new one. Its not out with the old, in with the new. Its what she needs to move on.

You can't do anything about your poor lost dog, but you are allowed to do whatever helps you 'heal' and if that means taking on a new pup and investing your love and energy into giving him a great life like you did for your last dog, then that's what you do. Chin up, and enjoy! :)

i would love to see your cross breed. the one on the side is the one that got pts he was Jrt x NT.
I picked up the new one today he is such a cutie but still had a cry after i had him up as i was remembering having eddie.
he is lovely a real little monkey would love to post photos but im useless at it :eek:
i write on the friesian post and i have to ask one of the girls on there to post photos for me :rolleyes::rolleyes: what am i like....

thank you for sharing your stories its lovely to read them and its nice that none of us are alone xxxxx
 

MrsElle

Well-Known Member
Joined
21 November 2008
Messages
6,185
Location
Back Where My Heart Is :)
Visit site
We had Lola pts on 7 October last year. We were devastated and didn't plan to get another - we also have a Staffy and a JRT, so still had dogs, although Lola was always our favorite.

However, between Christmas and New Year fate intervened and out of the blue we ended up taking on a 5 year old Rottie. She is so like Lola in personality it still makes me cry, but we are so glad to have her and after the difficult time Elsie had before she got here, I hope she is glad to have us too :)

I still have a cry over Lola, and find it difficult to look at photos of her still, but Elsie has helped fill a hole that Lola left x
 

misst

Well-Known Member
Joined
29 January 2008
Messages
5,245
Visit site
I think it is wonderful that another dog has the chance of a happy cared for existence :) You are not replacing the one lost, just filling the empty gap in your life with something else.
I hope you have a wonderful time with your new dog but you will never forget the ones who have gone before x
 

hogged cob

Well-Known Member
Joined
6 April 2010
Messages
149
Location
Cheshire
Visit site
We lost Baxter our Labrador on the 12th January this year, I was heartbroken, he was my shadow, as much as I missed my pal I hated coming home to an empty house, and just missed having a dog around, three weeks and three days later we picked up a Border Terrier Puppy. Yes I felt guilty but I do not regret getting him, he is fab and has made our house a home again.
 

Angelbones

Well-Known Member
Joined
6 April 2008
Messages
2,295
Location
East Sussex
Visit site
i would love to see your cross breed. the one on the side is the one that got pts he was Jrt x NT.

Ah well seeing as you asked:)
This is Dodger, he is now 9. He is the world's most gentle, loyal, calm and well behaved dog. The most common thing people ask is whether he is a Corgi! It was a litter of 5 and although they all looked a bit different, they all have exceptional personalities, I'm quite jealous as I'd have another one in a flash.
dodger6.jpg

inky-2.jpg

With his dad who was pure NT although not exactly a show dog!
DC.jpg

With his best mates - sadly we lost the ginger and white cat yesterday on the road :(
dodger5.jpg
 

Cedars

Well-Known Member
Joined
19 May 2009
Messages
7,830
Visit site
When Chlo was PTS Bracken was still a very young puppy. I am convinced he was the only thing to pull us through that time-coming home to a house without a dog would have been totally hideous.
 

ibot

Well-Known Member
Joined
12 March 2008
Messages
2,924
Location
Who Knows Moved That Often
Visit site
its true a house without a dog is cold and empty :(:(


Angelbones i am so sorry to hear about your puss are you ok??
your pooch is very cutie love the father and son shot its funny how the mix can look so different eddie looked abit like your ones dad :D

where mickey looks nothing like any of them but then i think he does have some monkey in there too :D:D
 

Onyxia

Well-Known Member
Joined
26 May 2005
Messages
10,577
Location
Yorkshire
Visit site
I don't think it is disrespectful at all- at least I hope not, death of a family dog yesterday has kicked me into dog research overdrive :eek:

Once they have your heart that place is theirs forever,but that does not mean there is not room for many,many others.
We outlive dogs, sad but simple truth and if he had a say I bet Eddie would be happy his owner had someone to make them smile again :)

Wish you the best of luck with the new pup!
 

zoelouisem

Well-Known Member
Joined
10 August 2010
Messages
1,790
Location
Windsor
Visit site
When I had my last dog pts I was adamant I wasn't getting another as I still had my 5 year old dog, but he was heartbroken got very depressed poohed everywhere lost loads of weight. I waited 6 weeks but he didn't improve so I went out and got my puppy Charlie .
It was the best thing I did I love him to bits and the other dog is so much happier. It also turns out he was born the day Annie was pts so I think it was fate. I did feel guilty at first, but I'll never forget Annie I still think about her all the time.
 

friesian80

Well-Known Member
Joined
13 October 2009
Messages
985
Location
Shetland Isles
Visit site
Hey Ibot, stumbled across your post in the doggy section and thought id post the pic you sent me of you and Mickey.

24022012174.jpg


I know how much Eddie meant to you, I lost my Jack Russell last year very suddenly and she was only 2, me and my partners grief was unbearable. My OH wanted to wait a while before getting another but I just couldnt get through the grieving process without having a dog in my life. It was like I was stuck with this overwhelming grief and I couldnt move on. I HAD to get another dog, I waited weeks before getting another dog.

Once I got Caleb I then started to process my grief, it didnt make me miss Phoebe any less but I had Caleb to give love to instead, I slowly after a long time could look at pics of Phoebe and smile, and I truely think the love from my other dogs helped make that happen.
 
Top