Livery yard advice- absentee owner

[bouncing_ball]

I am reading your post in a completely differently to everyone else.

If every yard you have been on hasn't been up to scratch is that because every yard has been substandard or are you a very demanding livery? That way you don't have to deal with anyone else's way of doing things.

I know I'm not giving you the super supportive pat on the head that everyone else has but putting a different view on things can sometimes be a useful perspective too.

but the OP says past yards have been fine, this yard used to be fine before change of management. She’s NOT saying she has a problem with all livery yards she’s been on.

 

[teddypops]

Trust me, if i could move...i would but we don't have many DIY yards in our area with spaces. If anyone knows anywhere in south norfolk/north suffolk with availability...that would be a bonus but at the moment i am stuck :-(

Get some posts up on your local horsey Facebook pages (or get someone else to do it for you) there may be yards or even a private individual looking for a livery that don’t advertise but might have a space.

 

[[153312]]

I was on a yard like that. The man who had managed it for many, many years gave it up when the owner got outline planning permission to build on it and the owner took over management - from 4 hours away. Nothing got done and it started to get dangerous.

Google earth is a fantastic way to spot arenas and potentially private yards who may have the odd space. Its how I managed to move from that particular yard.

I've done the Google earth method too. It works.
Op you need to move for the sake of your horse. If you/whoever is advertising for you says this is wanted ads you may find somewhere able to help.

 

[supertramp]

Have you tried Livery List, you may find something there, or is there a local FB group for yards?

 

[splashgirl45]

ive just looked on livery list and there are a few in both norfolk and suffolk, so you need to check postcodes and calculate how far away they are, but if you could go just once a day the distance isnt so important

 

[Peglo]

Could you ask on a local farmers Facebook group if anyone had any long or short term grazing available?

really hope you get out of there soon.

 

[[153312]]

There's a fair few on Preloved too

 

[Winters100]

I suspect that you have offended someone by giving what you thought was friendly advice. The problem with giving unasked for advice is that to you it might just be a friendly gesture, but to the recipient it may be unwanted interference.

We are all different in how we handle things, and what one person may do in a given situation might be quite wrong for another. I am a fairly direct person and not easily hurt, so I would probably just speak to the people concerned, the liveries who are managing the yard, the person who will be in the next box, and if possible the YO. I would simply tell them that I sensed that I had caused some issues and could we talk about it. I would not defend myself or get into an argument, but would listen and take time to think about how the situation may be remedied. I would do it with a smile on my face and being polite and positive. If I had inadvertently irritated someone by offering advice I would apologize, and ask them to let bygones be bygones.

It sounds as if you are unhappy with the infrastructure and facilities. I do not think there is a remedy for that other than moving. I suppose that unless you have been there for many years the conditions are probably not so different to when you arrived and accepted them, and if the owner did invest significant amounts they may also put prices up.

I hesitate to recommend that you speak with those concerned in the way I describe, as it sounds as if you have had a rough time, and you simply may not feel up to it, but it is an option that you could consider. The other option would be to keep your head down while you look for alternative arrangements.

I would also say that you need to keep in mind that on yards we all need to be flexible. I see you were irritated by having a horse who kicked the door near yours, Do remember that some horses do this, and it might be seen as a bit 'precious' if you have complained about it and blamed that horse for teaching the habit to your own. Incidentally I am not certain about that as my schoolmistress does it at feeding time, she is next to my other horses and neither have picked up the habit.

Try to look for solutions rather than feeling defeated by this situation. For sure a solution is there, and I wish you luck in finding it sooner rather than later.

 

[Chianti]

There are two sides to everything and as a YO myself I know that you cannot please everyone! Also that there is plenty of opportunity on a yard for interpersonal conflicts to arise and if not dealt with appropriately then they can escalate rapidly, which obviously is the case on this yard.

It would no doubt be the case that if any of us were to speak to any of your fellow-liveries then they may well come up with some surprising "wisdom" and their version of events might well radically differ from your side of things. That's how things are!!

Forgive me if being a bit dimmit; but you are complaining about the smell of "ammonia" emanating from the stables adjacent to yours, but hey, well, horses pee and poo don't they?? That's what they do, right?? Inevitable I would say. And here you are complaining about it!! You ain't exactly gonna get the sweet smell of roses on an equine yard LOL. Also you are complaining about other Liveries' management of their horses which really isn't going to make you very popular at the end of the day. Sorry but I am being frank here and trying to look at the situation from all angles.

However, for now, as others have said, you will need to "put up and shut up".

Yes there are "contracts" in place as you say, but frankly unless these are properly set up by a Legal, and signed witnessed & dated as in a proper "Rental Agreement" then TBH you might as well shred them and use them for bedding as legally they are actually worth sweet FA.

I would suggest you try to ignore what is going on around you and endeavour to keep yourself to yourself. "Do" your horse, keep your own counsel, do what you need to do, and be gone would be my advice, whilst at the same time look for somewhere else which will be more suitable for your needs.

I have to say that if I went to view a yard and I could clearly smell ammonia I wouldn't hang about. To me it indicates poor beds and poor mucking out. I've been on proper DIY, assisted DIY, part and full livery over the years and I haven't been able to smell strong wee or poo on any of them.

 

[Merry neddy man]

With a bit of luck these may help www.*******.co.uk and www.*******.co.uk

 

[Moodymare88]

That sounds great to me - you still get to do 95% of it and make all the decisions but they do the early start! I'd definitely take a look at it. Where has the livery you got on with moved to? Are there spaces there?

So my friend is actually moving to this yard that i am hoping to go to, which is perfect.

 

[Moodymare88]

I am reading your post in a completely differently to everyone else.
Why did you offer unsolicited advice to an equine professional who happens to be on your yard? And while you don't like the way they keep their horses I suspect they are not actually negligent with their horses so I can see why they might not want to be overly friendly with you!

If every yard you have been on hasn't been up to scratch is that because every yard has been substandard or are you a very demanding livery? As you don't want to give up control of your horse by moving to part or assisted livery have you considered renting land or a small set up and just getting a companion pony. That way you don't have to deal with anyone else's way of doing things.

I know I'm not giving you the super supportive pat on the head that everyone else has but putting a different view on things can sometimes be a useful perspective too.

I am not looking for a pat on the head at all.

First off, their horses were kept in all day and night last winter from September to March with NO EXERCISE at all (how they didn't colic, i have no idea) and one of their horses was kicking the crap out of the door the whole time, because they would run out of hay and end up eating all of their bed. We offered to put in a haynet during the day for the horses as they would run out in less than an hour, and were without hay for 10 hours during the day. The parents are non-horsey, everyone has to learn somewhere so i contacted them and offered to put in haynets for them, so the horses were fed and we didn't end up with a migraine because the horse was kicking crap out of the door (he has also taught other horses, including mine to do it) and i just mentioned that horses are grazers and need to spend more time eating otherwise there are risks to their horses health.

I haven't said every yard i have been on hasn't been up to scratch...am i wrong for expecting a yard to be maintained and the contract states that the yard owner would provide a safe environment for the horses. Fencing down, a stable which flooded and i mean flooded, fencing in the menage down with nails sticking out and a big hole in it, to me isn't providing a safe environment. So wanting a dry stable makes me demanding?

It isn't about giving up control of my horse, i had to do that for 8 weeks when i got kicked in the face and had surgery. I love doing my horse and seeing her twice a day, i don't think there is anything wrong with that. It is part of my routine, and has been for the last 11 years and this year, has really helped my mental health. I don't see anything wrong with that personally.

I am going to look at this other yard with assisted DIY as there is no harm in looking and go from there. It isn't just me who has noticed the change in the yard, it used to be a lovely place where we were all like a family and now...most of us just don't want to be there.

 

[Moodymare88]

I have to say that if I went to view a yard and I could clearly smell ammonia I wouldn't hang about. To me it indicates poor beds and poor mucking out. I've been on proper DIY, assisted DIY, part and full livery over the years and I haven't been able to smell strong wee or poo on any of them.

They used to be in a different barn when i first moved there, so i never noticed it and then they moved into our barn in December. It was mentioned to the yard owner, but he isn't horsey so doesn't bother him i guess as he is still getting money from everyone.

 

[Moodymare88]

There are two sides to everything and as a YO myself I know that you cannot please everyone! Also that there is plenty of opportunity on a yard for interpersonal conflicts to arise and if not dealt with appropriately then they can escalate rapidly, which obviously is the case on this yard.

It would no doubt be the case that if any of us were to speak to any of your fellow-liveries then they may well come up with some surprising "wisdom" and their version of events might well radically differ from your side of things. That's how things are!!

Forgive me if being a bit dimmit; but you are complaining about the smell of "ammonia" emanating from the stables adjacent to yours, but hey, well, horses pee and poo don't they?? That's what they do, right?? Inevitable I would say. And here you are complaining about it!! You ain't exactly gonna get the sweet smell of roses on an equine yard LOL. Also you are complaining about other Liveries' management of their horses which really isn't going to make you very popular at the end of the day. Sorry but I am being frank here and trying to look at the situation from all angles.

However, for now, as others have said, you will need to "put up and shut up".

Yes there are "contracts" in place as you say, but frankly unless these are properly set up by a Legal, and signed witnessed & dated as in a proper "Rental Agreement" then TBH you might as well shred them and use them for bedding as legally they are actually worth sweet FA.

I would suggest you try to ignore what is going on around you and endeavour to keep yourself to yourself. "Do" your horse, keep your own counsel, do what you need to do, and be gone would be my advice, whilst at the same time look for somewhere else which will be more suitable for your needs.

I am not saying my horse smells of roses by any means, and yes you expect there to be smells, but the smell of ammonia shouldn't hit you as soon as you walk into the barn! The smell is bad because they are bedded on straw, but only have one section...on concrete...that is it but because they eat their hay in less than an hour (i know because i am doing my horse in the morning when they are haying up and notice it is gone when i leave) so are without hay for 10 hours or so and eat their bed...so the straw is all gone and they have nothing to absorb the wee (although i don't like straw anyway but that is my opinion and if others bed on it, i don't care).

 

[Moodymare88]

I suspect that you have offended someone by giving what you thought was friendly advice. The problem with giving unasked for advice is that to you it might just be a friendly gesture, but to the recipient it may be unwanted interference.

We are all different in how we handle things, and what one person may do in a given situation might be quite wrong for another. I am a fairly direct person and not easily hurt, so I would probably just speak to the people concerned, the liveries who are managing the yard, the person who will be in the next box, and if possible the YO. I would simply tell them that I sensed that I had caused some issues and could we talk about it. I would not defend myself or get into an argument, but would listen and take time to think about how the situation may be remedied. I would do it with a smile on my face and being polite and positive. If I had inadvertently irritated someone by offering advice I would apologize, and ask them to let bygones be bygones.

It sounds as if you are unhappy with the infrastructure and facilities. I do not think there is a remedy for that other than moving. I suppose that unless you have been there for many years the conditions are probably not so different to when you arrived and accepted them, and if the owner did invest significant amounts they may also put prices up.

I hesitate to recommend that you speak with those concerned in the way I describe, as it sounds as if you have had a rough time, and you simply may not feel up to it, but it is an option that you could consider. The other option would be to keep your head down while you look for alternative arrangements.

I would also say that you need to keep in mind that on yards we all need to be flexible. I see you were irritated by having a horse who kicked the door near yours, Do remember that some horses do this, and it might be seen as a bit 'precious' if you have complained about it and blamed that horse for teaching the habit to your own. Incidentally I am not certain about that as my schoolmistress does it at feeding time, she is next to my other horses and neither have picked up the habit.

Try to look for solutions rather than feeling defeated by this situation. For sure a solution is there, and I wish you luck in finding it sooner rather than later.

So i agree, i have been different since my accident, and i have dealt with that with therapy and i have spoken to people i may have hurt/offended and apologised, but to be honest i am fed up of apologising. I have dealt with my issues and i am in a better place, the fog has cleared and i can see that i was bullied by someone and victimized by someone who was a friend and instructor but luckily she has now left (not because of me to add) she has relocated. When i moved there, it was managed by someone else and things actually got done. The owner took control and promised quite a few things, but seems to be more focused on painting to make things look pretty, rather than actually repair what needs to be repaired.

It has taken a year to get my stable sorted so it doesn't flood. I guess i am just used to be on yards where things get done and are maintained. I have tried to speak to the owner but he doesn't respond to messages and we haven't seen him in months. I have slept on it and spoken to a couple of my closest friends, they know everything that has gone on and especially since my accident (i was in a very dark place and was very close to not being here today) and the option for me is to move for my mental health and for my horse's health and wellbeing...those are the most important things to me.

Staying there where one of the 'manager's' clearly has a problem with me, i have since found out she caused most of the issues by stirring things quite a lot (you always have one) i thought she was my friend and she just continued to keep kicking me whilst i was down and another livery has said the same, that she is bullying me and trying to push me out. She has wanted me to leave for months, i hate that she will get what she wants....but i need to do this for me and that is the most important factor.

 

[Gingerwitch]

If I were you I would just move to any yard I can find even if it was an hour away I would go

 

[Sealine]

If you have friends at any of the yards you are on the waiting list for could they put a good word in for you? I know in my area waiting lists are a bit of a farce and it’s very much who you know.

 

[Winters100]

She has wanted me to leave for months, i hate that she will get what she wants....but i need to do this for me and that is the most important factor.

Don't even think about that. If she is a nasty person she will get what is coming to her sooner or later.

You are absolutely right that the important thing now is to do what is right for you. Even if you find somewhere that does not appear to be perfect it will give you breathing space and allow you time to consider your options. Good luck and I hope that you find somewhere lovely.