Livery yard dilemma

[Lauren1993]

Hi all,

I’m trying to figure out where we belong best.

I’m 30 with 2 children, my oldest daughter is 4 & youngest is 10 months old.
We have a beautiful little Shetland mare my oldest rides & she is literally my 3rd child ! Hence why I’m mothering so much about what’s best for us all.

We started off at a large livery yard with around 30 horses. I’ve been here for years with my horses previously. We were there for just under a year & a half; 1 year with a previous pony & 4 months with our new pony.
I love the yard for me, when I was riding & have some friends to ride with etc. yard is good but our pony really suffered with allergies there. There were no other children for my daughter to play, ride & hang around with.

We decided to move & with the slim pickings at the time moved to another big yard 20 horses so a little smaller, there are other ponies here & a few more children around so though it was a good move.
Been here for 2 months now, pony has settled amazingly, allergies have gone ! All is okay,
But !
The same as the old yard - I feel like im Walking on eggshells all of the time & worrying about upsetting or annoying anyone - there are some hard faced women here & a lot of moaning !

I come with a 4 year old, a 10 month - old generally in a pushchair, toys, a Shetland which my daughter will lead & do everything with.
I just feel like I’m annoying people & worried about spooking horses, getting in the way with my pushchair, rallying around etc.

Sooooo … my question is am I better off finding a smaller yard with just a few stables to have our own space (like a needle in a haystack atm) a smaller diy yard with 10 or less
Or I have been offered a paddock which is in walking distance from our house & my daughters school ; which sounds amazing ! But she would be on her own tho !

What should I dooooo I’m such a worrier & need help making decisions

Any advice from people with ponies & children ?!

 

[PinkvSantaboots]

I think if your happy where you are and there are other children I wouldn't worry about it too much, wherever you go there are going to be liveries that don't like kids I would just be polite and respectful and just go about your time there.

If you move to a field your daughter will be alone so will probably loose interest and in winter it's pretty bleak with no arena or any friends to ride with.

I ride with a friend who would park her buggy outside the arena my horse soon got used to it

 

[FlyingCircus]

I do think I'd find it a little inconvenient to have young children and associated "stuff" on a big livery yard. But if the owner is happy with that, then it's their call to make.

 

[Barton Bounty]

I wouldnt worry about what some people think or say… they are allowed an opinion.. but it is just that THEIR OPINION!

In all honesty, I have never been at a yard where children weren’t welcome. I grew up at the yard with 6 other girls all the same age and we all grew up together with our ponies and worked for rides too, it was great and it will be great for your kids too.
The others that maybe frown on you or dont have children, thats their choice but really no need to be mean….
Im a very hands on person, Id have befriended you and disappeared away to the fields with your kids by now carrying on and having fun but not everyone is like that. Doesn’t mean it should Spoil your time

 

[toppedoff]

previous yard didnt mind these sorts of stuff, bear in mind it is a yard of 80 (and theyre extending!), you sound pretty happy where youre now

 

[Lauren1993]

I should add my daughter is a very sensible 4 year old, she’s been around horses since she could walk, doesn’t wonder off or do things she shouldn’t.
My youngest is very good too, happily chills & watches in her pushchair, naps in the car etc.
most of the women have had young children at some point so should know what it’s like, we’ve all got to start somewhere.

The only think that I’m thinking about the old yard is that it was all indoors , indoor menage surrounded by stables all in big barns. - which is great in the winter.

The new yard has a huge outdoor menage, but the field is the other side of the car park. The stables are in a big barn but there is less space for tie up etc. if your not doing it in the stable - so my point is I can just park the pushchair up out of peoples way unless I’m in the stable (we have private tack rooms at the back of our stables which is handy)

As much as I love the idea of my own paddock I think I agree with being alone & the winter etc.

 

[splashgirl45]

Definitely do not move pony on its own to a field, also your daughter would have no other children there . A livery yard is better as long as the YO is happy with you being there. I understand the other liveries getting fed up if your child and pony are in the way. Can you take pony and child and pushchair to a quiet part of the yard away from the liveries do they can see you are trying to keep any disruption to a minimum… if this yard suits your pony it’s worth trying everything to fit in . Good luck

 

[Tiddlypom]

It must be hard to wrangle a 4yo, a 10 month old, a pushchair and a Shetland on a big livery yard. Your 4yo needs to be supervised at all times handling the Shettie, how do you manage that?

I had mine at home, so didn't have to worry about what others were up to, it was all under my control.

Can you move to a quiet corner where you can all do your own thing away from most others?

 

[PinkvSantaboots]

It sounds fine for winter there might be some evenings when it's horrible and won't want to ride but at least you have the option, in a muddy field on your own with 2 young children it's virtually impossible I would stick where you are.

 

[Lauren1993]

I’m very courteous & conscience of everyone else - hence why I’m worried I’m upsetting people.
There is no option to move to a different stable. We’re 2 from the end , with our little private tack room I can park the pushchair in there & I’ve put a chain across so pony can’t walk in there from her stable.
I don’t struggle to keep us all contained etc. I think I manage quite well, My oldest generally leads pony, I push the pushchair & guide them around. Park push chair & take pony to tie up, turn out etc.
pushchair parked in the corner of the school while we ride - going past with a snack to keep her entertained.

My youngest isn’t always with us - if I can avoid taking her I will then it’s a lot easier.

I grew up on a yard of 5 stables, my mum had 4 children 3 ponies often my 2 cousins were with us too & she managed fine but we were had our own space & could do as we pleased with no one to worry about - I think this is what is swaying me with wanting this type of situation for us.

 

[SEL]

I suppose my question when I read your post is ARE you spooking horses etc or are they just moaning. If it's the latter then go on a charm offensive. Rock up with biscuits, be smiley, chat with the moaning ones etc etc

There's people who moan at Every Single Yard !

 

[splashgirl45]

Sounds like you are doing everything right , just hang in there and be friendly to the others and try not to worry about what they are thinking. If any of them are really bothered they should speak to you or the YO. Hope you soon start to feel better about everything

 

[Lauren1993]

Thanks all !
I will always do everything I can to be nice & considerate to everyone.

We had a lovely few hours up there on Sunday evening …. So just hoping it stays that way & hoping once I’ve got my best routine / area / methods sorted to make it easy for me & good for everyone I think I’ll be okay.

 

[Barton Bounty]

Thanks all !
I will always do everything I can to be nice & considerate to everyone.

We had a lovely few hours up there on Sunday evening …. So just hoping it stays that way & hoping once I’ve got my best routine / area / methods sorted to make it easy for me & good for everyone I think I’ll be okay.

You will win them round im sure..

I have an idea..

Bake some cupcakes with your daughter and let her decorate them and go offer them along with coffee!

Who is not gonna love that

 

[Lauren1993]

You will win them round im sure..

I have an idea..

Bake some cupcakes with your daughter and let her decorate them and go offer them along with coffee!

Who is not gonna love that

If you knew my daughter you wouldn’t eat her cupcakes

Will definitely pop some goodies in the tea room

 

[Sossigpoker]

I do think I'd find it a little inconvenient to have young children and associated "stuff" on a big livery yard. But if the owner is happy with that, then it's their call to make.

My current yard doesn't allow children at all. Bliss !

 

[ester]

Have you actually annoyed people or do you just think you might have and are worrying unnecessarily?

 

[Lauren1993]

Have you actually annoyed people or do you just think you might have and are worrying unnecessarily?

just worrying unnecessarily

 

[PinkvSantaboots]

My current yard doesn't allow children at all. Bliss !

Not helpful!

 

[PinkvSantaboots]

If you knew my daughter you wouldn’t eat her cupcakes

Will definitely pop some goodies in the tea room

Hey I don't have kids but almost all of my friends do and I actually like alot of them, it sounds like you are so aware of others around you and are bothered so I would just be your polite self and just try and win the miserable stony faced ones over chocolate and cake always works I find

 

[Caol Ila]

My yard has a few families who have younger kids (including one in a pushchair) in tow. I haven't noticed any issues. If other liveries don't like it, they don't whinge to me. The horses have to deal with kids, baby carriages, etc. in the park, at horse shows, etc., so it's all good training.

 

[9tails]

They're not worried about upsetting you, so don't worry about upsetting them. I have more issues with non-horsey loaner parents darting around trying to get out of the way and inevitably almost landing under hooves than the kids. I expect my horse to take everything in her stride, a child in a pushchair and a youngster enjoying her mini shouldn't be a big deal to horses that have been well brought up. Stay where you are, try to stop worrying about what everybody else is thinking of you and enjoy your child's obvious delight with her pony.

 

[marmalade76]

I would go for the paddock and maybe find someone in a similar situation to share it with you if you find it a bit lonely.

I don't think big livery yards are ideal for small children or the parents of them, you need somewhere where they'll have a bit of freedom to play and where you can relax and not worry about them upsetting anyone.

I more or less had grazing and a shed for my ponies when my children were little, then an old friend joined me when her granddaughters started riding, they started off sharing my children's pony, then my friend bought a pony and we did a two way share - it was lovely.

 

[Lurfy]

There are a few kids at my livery. Two of which are the property owner's, aged 2 and 5. Other riders with young kids tend to come in the mornings during the week when the place is quieter. The kids are all fine and have never caused a problem that I am aware of. It is a large yard with up to 100 horses, but many of those are not ridden. The kids are managed well by the parents and it sounds like your kids are managed well to OP. I would just carry on, you are doing very well .

 

[maya2008]

Once my children were a little older and wandering around on their own, I found it much easier to have my own field with only my ponies - two small ones are easily corralled when one is in a pushchair and one on the pony but less so when the pushchair child is bigger and moving around/tipping the pushchair up/ingeniously climbing out of it! That requires another pony (you lead toddler while older child rides off lead) or a safe enough environment where toddler can wander/have a space with toys. There’s poo picking with two smalls too, and catching in, where if pony is in a field with others you need to leave two young ones outside the field on their own…

Depending on the size of the local field and available hacking for riding, I would be tempted to do that and loan/buy another small pony to go with the one you have. Extra pony could have a similar aged sharer to your older one, so instant friend and company of the right age. Little ones prefer to hack mostly anyway, and your younger one will be riding with you in a year or so to come with. I would get transport and do pony club to find friends to ride with too.

 

[ester]

just worrying unnecessarily

thought so, problem solved

 

[SDMabel]

I moved from a yard where the owner wasn't keen on children - so fully understand the eggshells !( I had just had a baby and was very aware in the future he would have to come to the yard with me ) other half is a farmer so most of the childcare is done by myself and only one family member close by.

New yard is small , there are 6 horses , only three are ridden and the yard owner has children. I can bring him up in the pushchair and they've even offered to watch him with their daughter whilst i lunge/ride. They've got lots of ride on tractors etc that hes allowed to use and it's amazing.

Zero stress now going to the yard, hes only 2 so if he does go down the route in the future of ponies Im happy knowing we could easily get a pony and fit in.

Maybe just keep an eye out for smaller yards with a similar set up ? we are DIY and it's just so laid back which is what you need with kids.

 

[Peglo]

I think I would hold off going to a small/ your own place until your younger child is riding so the kids would have each other for company to ride with unless you can find a smaller yard with young children.
You sound very considerate and I don’t think folk could ask for more tbh.

 

[Lauren1993]

I moved from a yard where the owner wasn't keen on children - so fully understand the eggshells !( I had just had a baby and was very aware in the future he would have to come to the yard with me ) other half is a farmer so most of the childcare is done by myself and only one family member close by.

New yard is small , there are 6 horses , only three are ridden and the yard owner has children. I can bring him up in the pushchair and they've even offered to watch him with their daughter whilst i lunge/ride. They've got lots of ride on tractors etc that hes allowed to use and it's amazing.

Zero stress now going to the yard, hes only 2 so if he does go down the route in the future of ponies Im happy knowing we could easily get a pony and fit in.

Maybe just keep an eye out for smaller yards with a similar set up ? we are DIY and it's just so laid back which is what you need with kids.

This would be my ideal ! Sounds lovely.

There is a local small livery yard but it is fully DIY so no help if / when I need it with turn out etc. but it is very close to home, achool etc. there are 8 stables I think, large manage, great hacking …. But they are full ! I’ve asked to go on the wait list but had no reply from either owner

Think I’ll just have to play the waiting game & hope something comes up that’s perfect.

The paddock situation is either have to get another pony (& the expense of another) or a goat or something.
I think there is a field shelter / stable but no where to ride unless I corner off some of the field but can hack around the village.

 

[PinkvSantaboots]

This would be my ideal ! Sounds lovely.

There is a local small livery yard but it is fully DIY so no help if / when I need it with turn out etc. but it is very close to home, achool etc. there are 8 stables I think, large manage, great hacking …. But they are full ! I’ve asked to go on the wait list but had no reply from either owner

Think I’ll just have to play the waiting game & hope something comes up that’s perfect.

The paddock situation is either have to get another pony (& the expense of another) or a goat or something.
I think there is a field shelter / stable but no where to ride unless I corner off some of the field but can hack around the village.

Please don't get a goat they will chew your ponies mane and tail and everything else they are not great horse companions