Livery Yard Etiquette

[tarzipan06]

I know a lot of you out there have your horses on livery and after many years renting my own holding, I have moved to a fab new livery yard with fantastic facilities.
From previous experience I know that livery yards can be a hot bed of bitchiness and bullying, so therefore do I just keep out of everything say hello, goodbye and have no opinions?
Only been there a week and people seem quite friendly although it is nerve racking being the 'new girl'. Any tips, words of wisdom or experiences you can share.
Thanks

 

[burtie]

I've never really had a problem but I try to stick to the following rules:

1: Always smile and say hello to people you meet.
2: Never give an opinion unless it's specifically asked for by the owner, and then tackfully!
3:Never gossip about other liveries to other liveries, except to say complimentary things. Also if you going to be complimentary say it to their face!
4:If you have real problem with another livery try talking to them first, if no result then talk only to the YM about the problem.
5: Tidy up after yourself and keep your areas clean and tidy.
6: The the old " do unto others as you'd have them do unto you" or something like that!

I like being in a livery yard as it's nice to chat to other like minded people about horses, but you need to find one where you get on with the other liveries and have similar ideas about correct levels of horse care and management!

 

[susan_w]

Just be yourself.

My rules:

1. Don't be too obsessive about your horse - the other liveries will just have you down as a "nutter"
2. Don't get involved in bitching sessions about other liveries
3. Ask other liveries when they hack, and if you can come along - no better way to make friends than a nice chat on a hack - plus it has the added advantage of them showing you the local hacks
4. Don't voice your opinion about other peoples horses - you wouldn't like it if they said something about your horse
5. Don't offer "advice" unless asked for it
6. This is your leisure time, and also costs a lot of money, so make sure you enjoy yourself.

Good luck, and hope you make lots of nice new friends

 

[burtie]

[ QUOTE ]
Don't be too obsessive about your horse - the other liveries will just have you down as a "nutter"


[/ QUOTE ]

Yep every yard has one of those!!

 

[katelarge]

I think it would be a shame if you felt that you had to be very low-profile. Yes, it might be a bitchy yard, but equally there might be some great friends to be made, so get in there with a positive attitude!

A good tactic is when you first meet someone, go up to their horse, pat it, ask its name, history etc, and say how lovely it is - even if it's plug ugly! I did this at my yard and I've found that people behave the same back - they pat my horse and compliment him, even though he has a face only a mother could love! Always show an interest in other people and what they are doing and remembering details helps: if someone was at a show the day or week before, ask how it went.

I think the main thing is to make sure people see you as friendly, approachable, and non-judgemental. As per everyeone above, it's important not to get drawn into slanging matches or backstabbing - find some "urgent" jobs to do that mean leaving them all to it!

I moved yard a few months back and was convinced it would be hell as there are all equine high achievers - but I just got stuck in, and by going to greet every horse and fawn over it, I inevitably met their mums, who were very pleased to find someone being nice to their ned!

 

[_April_]

I agree with everything that's been said above plus one more thing:

If you borrow something from someone put it back lol

 

[4whitesocks]

Good pointers folks - moving to a new yard myself this weekend having been in livery with friends for the past year and a half so bit nervous about etiquette....
Hope the move goes well Tarzipan!!!

 

[_April_]

I think the fact that you guys are even thinking about etiquette means that you will be totally fine!

 

[Tempi]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Don't be too obsessive about your horse - the other liveries will just have you down as a "nutter"


[/ QUOTE ]

Yep every yard has one of those!!

[/ QUOTE ]

that'l be me then

 

[Heidi1]

I have to agree with everything that has been said..... And yes every yard has a nutter, we certainly have one.
But best thing is to get on with what you are there for, to enjoy your horse or horses and get on with everyone as best you can.
Smile and be nice to everyone and things will go well.

Good luck.....

 

[Tempi]

we have loads of nutters on my yard, i was talking with my friend from the yard last night and we were discussing how there is actually only about 3 normal people on our yard (and that includes me and her!)......

 

[_April_]

[ QUOTE ]
we have loads of nutters on my yard, i was talking with my friend from the yard last night and we were discussing how there is actually only about 3 normal people on our yard (and that includes me and her!)......

[/ QUOTE ]


LOL

Maybe they think that too!

Only joking, I think that my favourite livery was the lady who bought her horses everything they could ever want in shades of purple/pink but at the same time was so stingy with feeding that her old pony was wasting away!! Luckily the YO stepped in and sorted things out.

 

[Greyhound]

[1] Always be pleasant and smile.
[2]Tidy up after yourself and keep your area tidy.
[3]Never bitch or gossip it will only come back to haunt you, just say "each to their own".
[4]If someone asks your opinion try to put it honestly and tackfully.

Treat other how you would wish to be treated

Hope that helps

Gh

 

[tarzipan06]

Ah thanks for all your advice, it lightens my heart to know that most people feel a bit aprehensive to start with.
My OH detests the place already but that is probably because he came slap bang into the yard nutter moments after stepping foot on to the yard and was ready to pack up tools there and then

he has now come to the conclusion that horses attract the worst kind of people when I have been convincing him quite the opposite.
I will show him this thread and tell him next time to grit his teeth, smile and get thinking of an urgent job that needs doing

 

[Bertie1]

All of the above, and one or two other things:

I would advise to be friendly and make friends, but be careful about getting too involved too quickly. People can appear to be extremely genuine and helpful at first but then you could end up with a cling-on interfering nutter you can't shift.

And I would be wary of taking lessons from people on the yard, including the highly qualified YO - it can be very awkward if you decide you're not getting anywhere in the lessons and you want to go elsewhere.

Equally, with letting other people ride your horse. Yes, they might appear very good and experienced and talk the talk, but you could have an atmosphere on your hands if you decide you don't want them riding it anymore.

I'll have endless cups of tea with the others and chat away all day, but I keep my distance a bit. I sometimes hack with the others, but not all the time, I might want to go longer and faster than them, or just ride my horse on its own, and people get offended if they think you're ditching them.

 

[Helena88]

all of the above and; play your and your horse's achievements down. no-one likes people who brag. if your a good rider, show it, don't say it.

 

[susan_w]

We've got a couple at our yard - things that they come out with are classic:

Examples:

The only purpose of having banks in your beds, is to prevent a draught!
Exercising once a week is perfectly adequate
The purpose of getting a bay horse is so that you never have to groom
My horse is allergic to carrots (self diagnosed that one)
Ahhh, look at the way he sucks his polo (windsucking, btw)
You should wash your horses willie at least once a week
I always feed my pony competition mix and oats, otherwise they are too slow (this is talking about the mad pony that everyone is sh1t scared of)

I could go on, but someone should write a book of the stupid things that people do with horses - we could all contribute something.

 

[tarzipan06]

LOL
Yes someone should write a book - Last experience at a livery yard many moons ago, my fat little pony had to wear a grazing mask to prevent laminitis and there was uproar at the yard - people saying how cruel I was and it's like getting a fat person, wiring the jaw and putting a load of cream buns in front of them...
Couldn't understand until one of their ponies went down with laminitis and had to be PTS.