livery yard - is it me?

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hackedoff

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went to a social event recently with my family, every one on the yard at the event ignored us. Literely acted like we didnt exist including people I belived I got on well with. It was so wierd and a bit sad as I was looking forward to it. When I aksed some of the people about it the answer was 'they just didnt think'...

Husband got to yard recently to be told horses not going out as manager had a row with a livery and had gone of somewhere (I think she may have got kicked so may not have been able to physically do turn outs)

Small items have started going walkabout as well (not mine so far though).

I am a bit not plussed.
 
hackedoff said:
went to a social event recently with my family, every one on the yard at the event ignored us. Literely acted like we didnt exist including people I belived I got on well with. It was so wierd and a bit sad as I was looking forward to it. When I aksed some of the people about it the answer was 'they just didnt think'...

Husband got to yard recently to be told horses not going out as manager had a row with a livery and had gone of somewhere (I think she may have got kicked so may not have been able to physically do turn outs)

Small items have started going walkabout as well (not mine so far though).

I am a bit not plussed.
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Oh dear.. That sounds a bit odd. I would just move. Sounds dramatic but I couldn't be bothered to worry about what anyone is like down the yard. As I go there to see my horse, not have to deal with any more hassle and such like. If you love the yard though, just get on with your horses and not worry or invite yourself with much else.. Normal people are becoming so few these days... LOL..
xx
 
Horsy people are strange! I have far more good, long term friends outside the horse world than in it, and tbh, I find the way some horsy people behave quite awful. It does seem to attract a snobbish element, and not necessarily in the way you think, ie posh, but those with a bit of a chip on their shoulder, who feel they have to prove themselves and consequently become very snobbish as a result. Even though their "station" in life might not exactly warrant it. I went showjumping on Saturday and not one of my so-called "friends" from my local area offered to help hold my horse while I walked the course (I had to ask someone I didn't know as usual) or helped me move the stuck partition on my horsebox (several "professionals" did so and were most helpful). And then to cap it, got a text in the evening from my "friend" who suggested my horse hadn't gone very well in a slightly pleased tone (she hadn't been out for 6 months and still got placed so I was delighted!) and suggesting I had been snubbed by the other "friends". Who could be bothered with all that?

The only way you can react to it is to become less friendly and more wary, but then you end up like them, which isn't good either.
 
Think I would be moving. We spend enough money on our hobbies anyway without being made to feel uncomfortable while we are there. Its supposed to be fun.

If they behave like this now chances are it will get worse.
 
I went from a livery yard to renting my own field for exactly this sort of behaviour. The yard owner was also rather two faced and you never knew what mood she was going to be in.
Ok, so now I don't have all the yard facilities or 'on tap' company to ride with, but I love it! And my horses are perfectly happy living out. I also have a much better bond with them because all the time I am with them, rather than putting them out in the field and spending all my time doing yard duties!
I am so much happier. I am not suggesting this is the answer, but as others have said, it's supposed to be fun!
 
People can all be odd... Yards will always contain opinionated people, people who will bitch behind your back, nice people an annoying people.

I think the trick is to remember what you go there for...

For 10 years I've rented land from a farmer and have 2 stables, an area to school in, tack room and a feedshed - the duration itself speaks for my preferences...however due to relocation I have to leave this all behind and move my boys to a livery yard...hopefully there are some nice people... and for the rest of them... I'm not interested. I'm an easy going person who will be happy to join people on a hack but I will not be drawn into the unpleasent side. People can have their opinons and they are entitled to them - good or bad, I'm happy with me and my boys and thats what counts...
(waffly rant over) :)
 
thanks all, it was a very strange experience as it was like being invisible! the yard has super hacking which is the main attraction....to be honest my main thought is, well I am here to keep horsey somewhere and at least I dont need to waste time chatting to others on the yard now. Its just a bit dispiriting though.
 
As everyone has said, having horses are meant to be fun and if you are not happy at the yard yu are at, then maybe you need to look for another. But just be aware that all livery yards can be the same, and there will be problems wherever you go. At the moment I dont have a horse, but I have a space at a great yard, I wouldnt think of getting another horse if I couldnt go back to that yard, but there are always fallouts, so and so said this about her, etc etc, but in the end. we all get on most of the time. I think I am just trying to say weigh up what you have got before moving to a place where you could have the same, if not worse problems.
 
if you are on a livery yard it is always advisable to mark your tack, any other equip and your grooming kit (and tools if DIY) a good marker pen usually can initial most things! sadly everyone has a dandy brush head collar boots etc! usually simiale or same makes! so initialling/identifying items reduces any risk of mistake! As for the immature humans surely your yard manager takes a dim view on this? try to enjoy your horse and rise above pettiness. what comes around usually goes around!
 
I think you should move. Why put up with rubbish like that? They're downright rude! You wouldn't stand for it from your non-horsey friends!
I left a great yard full of people I regarded as friends. I had been there 2 years, we went out socially, we supported each other's achievements, and I often helped people out if they couldn't get to the yard. Then I broke my arm, couldn't drive to the yard let alone handle my horse. Only 2 people offered to help me.
Needless to say, I boldly buggered off!!! To a friend's place on a farm. No facilities but my relationship with my horse has improved, and I am much happier.

Life is too short to waste time and energy with idiots. There is probably a lovely place out there for you and your horse.
 
It is amazing on livery yards how many so called friends dissappear when you really need them! I try not to get too involved in most of the peoples issues on our yard, unless it affects my horses. Its also interesting how many will whinge untill the cows come home but never do anything about the problem. They wait until if affects others then let them go and sort it.
If people are being petty, just go and do your horse and go home.
If I was a millionaire I would love my own yard, I would probably enjoy my own company much more than any silly petty people and their horses. If wishes were horses eh?
 
I probably will stay as horse is happy which is the main thing and the riding is fab. its hard to find yards where I am as well. its very frustrating as one of the two groups that ignored me at the event was comprised of teenagers that i dont have much in common with so that wasnt a problem. The other group included YO and YM who i thought I got on well with. The thing that most upset me at the time and now just annoys me is that it made my young child who was with me very upset (child doesnt go to the yard so never sees these people normally). I have now took the view that I will just go up, be polite and nothing more and use the time savede chatting to ride!
 
I made a couple of good friends whilst on livery- and still meet up with them now I have my own place. One is still on the yard- the other went elsewhere.

I found the best strategy was to be on speaking terms with everyone but avoid gossip and cliques- not to offer advice or opinions until asked and never slag anyone else off......I never had any major fall outs and got on well with YO.

TBH.....I went to see to my horses and ride- having a laugh and a cuppa was a bonus but I don't miss any of it now its just me,OH kids and horses.
 
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