loaning/sharing... mini rant and questions!

J

joanne1920

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does any one loan/share their horse/pony? does it work for you and are you happy?

I have said a friend can ride my youngster once a week (as her horse has got a year off due to ligament injury) in return for her mucking out once or twice a week...

however...

she gives him treats when i have asked her not too...
insists on spraying his feet with tea tree mist even though he hates spray botttles and i bought 'paint on' stuff for his trush...
says shes hacking out on him next week with no one on foot, even though shes only ever sat on him once before and has only been ridden 2-3 times since november (i have said wouldnt it be best to ride in school first - reply - he will be fine?)
shes mucking out (perfectly) but is using twice the amount of straw as i normally do and shes only mucking out twice a week, a whole bale each time, whereas i use about 1 bale a week...

i know find that she has plans to take him to shows... hmmm... well he's not going without me and he has never evr been to a show...
and he's started nipping...

and getting bolshy again as she lets him get away with it then gives him a treat....


Arhhhh!!!! we just have completely different ways of doing things.... i only offered coz she was really upset now wishing i hadnt... but if i hadnt her mum would have asked me.... and to top it off, other people at the yard are stirring by saying ive lost my pony to her and she has big plans for him.... etc etc......


What do i do? dont want to p*ss anyone off but at same time dont want my pony turning back into an ignorant bolshy cob that he used to be....
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Get rid of sharer before you're left with the damage, she's prob young, gotten attached etc to the horse so be gentle
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but seriously if she's not listening to you, you should stop the share now because your horse is a youngster and you don't want any bad behaviour.
 
Sit down with her and set the boundaries. Lead by example and tell her the truth as to what is upsetting you. I have a great sharer and we both made sure we knew the boundaries from the word go. Remind her that he is your horse and any decisions to do with him have to be run by you for approval. If she isn't happy following an adult discussion then suggest to her that maybe it is best if you part ways. This way you still keep your friend and you keep your horse happy.
 
OMG, get rid of her!! I share mine and if someone deliberately ignored my instructions regarding MY horse I would flip - and I have cos my sharer as not been giving my boy enough haylege so he goes for about 8 hours with little or no food a day and has lost weight since MONDAY!

IF you do decide to keep her you NEED an agreement! She should not remove your horse from your yard without your permission to, even if you have said she can ride him. It would be down right rude of her to take him to a show without your permission.
Also you need to cover your ass in that if something happens to her you are liable! Like is she lets him nip, he bites her and breaks her finger - bet she would blame you!

Unfortunately you cant have them do exactly as you want, but if you have some spies you can usually keep an eye on things. I thankfully have a few of those
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At the end of the day he is your horse, if she is doing things that might harm/ruin/devalue or hinder his progress you need to set her straight or get shot of her.
 
Sit her down and set out boundaries - in writing if necessary (I would). Your horse is highly valuable to you - and not just in money terms.
If she is sharing YOUR horse (the most important word in this is the YOUR - as it still belongs to you whatever she does) then she has to abide by what you want done to you horse. We have had a sharing agreement before, with the first condition being that if they didn't meet all conditions on the agreement then the sharing agreement would be void and they could no longer have any contact with the horse.
Get something in writing ASAP
 
Sharing a horse should never be like that. I had a sharer and it was great, I trusted her, she did everything the way I would do it, and was happy to just exercise him.
But if she had wanted to do things with him ie. shows, I'd have been more than happy.
Sounds like you are finding sharing your horse difficult, do you think you would feel much different with another person? Or are your gripes because you would rather have your horse to yourself? If you think it is just because of her (and she does sound annoying) then get rid and find someone better suited
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I would ask her flat out why she is continuing to do things (like the treats) that you have expressly asked her not to do, and see what she says.

Is your horse having a fit when she sprays his feet, or does he appear to be getting used to it? Sometimes it can be uncomfortable to watch someone else managing to do things with your horse that you've not managed, and it can make you feel a bit inadequate and thus angry.

I would put your foot down about the treats thing, and the hacking if you are really worried, and ask her to be a bit more economical with the straw as it does cost money, but if she's prepared to de-sensitise him to spray bottles that can only be a good thing. Same with shows - surely its a good thing if she wants to show him?

My opinion of shares (and I am a sharer) is that its really more important for the sharer and owner to be compatible than it is for the sharer to be compatible with the horse. You can learn to get the best out of a horse, but you can't force compatibility in people when it just isn't there.
 
To be honest it sounds to me like you need to stop sharing with her. Just say that you have given it a lot of thought and find that you are uncomfortable sharing your horse. Its nothing to do with her, it would be the same with anyone. Say that you hope she will get her own horse so you can have fun together (or some sort of bull like that!)
 
i would just tell her straight-your horse is to be treated a cvertain way.you have no problem sharing him if those rules are kept.
explain why you have the rules,ask if she can see why and will agree to them.
if she wont or if she says yeah yeah and still doesnt treat him the way you want, take him back.
 
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