Long (sorry)- do I sell?

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frostie652

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Hiya, sorry for ANOTHER post along these lines but again I just dont know what to do.

Just to fill you in, ive had Chippie since he was 2, I backed him as a 3yo and was going well, turned him away and when he was brought back into work he bronced with me, had me off 3 times since I didnt have the confidence to push him through it, and I had a bit of a wobbily (at one point was considering having him pts as he also has sarcoids which have in the past been quite bad although theyve settled down now). Anyway I sent him away to be proffesionally rebacked which went well, hes now 5.

Ive since had him back and been out hacking alone/in company, walking and trotting in the school, all was going fairly well although i was still really nervous.

We were out riding a 3 weeks ago with a friend who was leading her youngster, we were literally going down the road and back since I was on lunch from work.
People were out shooting, we didnt realise, they shot, horses bolted, I managed to steer him off the road but came off on some hard standing, 4 hrs in casualty- no damage apart from brusing.
Ive never been in that much pain before, I was just lying on the floor, I couldnt get up and didnt have my phone (IDIOT) but my friend caught up with us rang the yard, all was sorted- I just felt so bloody helpless.


Ive riden him twice since this, once just down the rd and back, I couldnt get him going forward, we spent most of it standing still.
Longreined him down to where the accident was and back twice, then rode with my dad walking for reassurance, he did try to run off again when a car came round the bend that he didnt know was coming but I pulled him up after not too far, was on his toes the whole was round, not very enjoyable for wither of us.
Hes been spooking in hand on the yard at things he never saw as an issue before, sometimes just people coming out of stables, dogs ect.

I was talking to one of the liverys about him the other day, they wont home and I just burst into tears, im so tired of it being such hard work and I know its really not his fault as hes in-experienced, Ive ridden horses on before for other people and coped with napping/spooking etc but I get so upset/ frustrated with him, I take it so personally.


I think im answering my own question here, that he needs a more experinced home, but I really do love him and dont want to let him go.

The other option is; hes getting his back and teeth done today, ive arranged for a saddle fitter next week and I can get lesson with him, and Ive found someone to hack out with now. But the thought of getting on him and coming off again.. im not sure I can.


Guess im just looking for reassurance that admitting hes too much for me is the right thing for him, and that im not completely cr*p for failing him.
 
It sounds like the shooting incident where he bolted has left him with his flight instincts really high to any sudden noise or movement now. You have NOT failed him, it's difficult for anyone after something like this.

I'd get someone like one of the Intelligent Horsemanship RA's out, or some other local behaviourist that you know to be good, and see if they can work with the two of you to get you through this.

After that if you feel things still aren't working out and you are not gelling then consider selling. Your signature says it all - think of this as swings and roundabouts, a minor setback on the journey.
 
I assume you are wearing back protector as well as your hat.

Your tension will transfer to your horse so as hard as it is to not tense up you need to try. Whistling or humming will help. He is a young horse and will settle as he gets older. It depends on how much hard work you can put in and knowing that at the end you've made your horse or if you want to sell him on and get something that is bomb proof.

I rode for years before I got my horse, as a foal but I never learnt to ride until I had him, if that makes sense. It challenged me as a rider and as a horse person but I am glad I did it. I've been in hospital, have broken bones etc and at one time my family thought I should sell him as I'd had a bad accident and it was touch and go as to whether I would walk again.

You've come a long way already, there is a saying in the western world that wet blankets make a good horse. (translated that's a lot of hard work and sweat on both sides of the saddle).

Good luck in whatever you decide.
 
Sorry to hear you're having such a crap time of it.
Youngsters certainly do take it out of you when things start to go wrong and when the confidence is battered you end up feeling there is no hope! - have been there :(

Me personally, I'd give the lessons a go first. I say this as it did my confidence the world of good with a 4 year old, and we now hack out together great in company.
I'm still iffy doing it on my own, but there is no need at present and he's his own life ahead of him yet to move onto solo hacking.

If lessons dont work, then yes I'd agree he probably needs a more experienced home as you're not likely to regain your confidence without professional help.

Is the other horse you can hack out with sane and sound? That is a huge help, I hack out with the sanest horse around, we started by tucking in behind and following and my lad takes his lead and trusts him. After tiime we took turns to lead and it built my lads confidence and mine :)

I almost made the rash decision to sell mine, but thank god I didn't. He's a fab horse now and it only took a few months to turn him around.

Good luck xxx
 
Have you had the vet check him over - eyes especially? I guess the choice is yours if you have no desire to ride him anymore or are too scared. This is not a failure on your behalf you have had a lot of issues with him and if he has battered your confidence then I would sell. This is supposed to be enjoyable!

What out of interest is his breeding and height?
 
Having a horse is meant to be enjoyable, its hard work but something you want to do.
If you are dreading getting on then its not right.
Get his back ect done, hack out a few times with your new friens. But if you still feel dread then I think it is time that someone else gave him a go.
You said you have brought horses on before but maybe you just don't click with this horse and the bad experiences haven't helped.
 
Why don't you try him on a calmer? I thought they were rubbish and only tried one on my anxious gelding as a last resort. It has worked wonders. The one I use is Top Spec Calmer. You need to introduce it gradually so they get used to the taste.

I think your boy is just being a horse. No wonder he is so shaken up and traumatised. Most horses would be if a gun went off near them.
 
From my own experience two suggestions (1) Lessons. I had a fantastic instructor who kept me sane while I was having major wobblies about riding my youngster. (2) Get someone else to ride him who is experienced with either youngsters or difficult horses. That worked for me - seeing him behave for someone else helped me believe it was possible and helped his confidence. You might even consider a sharer to tale the pressure off.

You haven't failed - chin up! If in the end you decide to sell him on it's not the end of the world, especially if you know you have tried your best.
 
Well since my first post the vet had been out for his back and teeth, general check over etc.

He did his spooking over nothing whilst the vet was here and the vet checked his heart rate, (it was in the eighties) I talked through all of the above with the vet (whilst sobbing like a loony) and he says it seems his fight or flight is still somehow on from the shooting incident. < as ISHmad said.

Hes reccomended some new drug begininning with a z (i shall update when i get them) that are designed to change the chemical signals in the brain to make him happier (like prozac with humans).
Ive got to give him the drug for two weeks whilst contining with the lunging that im doing atm to keep him ticking over, then start trying to introduce going out again and see how he is, then proberly keep him on them for the next two weeks whilst building up hack until he is how he was then cut them down over another two weeks I think.

I just feel so relived that the vet thinks his behaviour is serious enough to require medication, that its not anything ive done and that its not just me being rediculous(sp)!

thank you all for being so supportive, I really feel so much happier with it after talking to the vet, ive been sitting in bed crying far too much recently, Im going with plan two along with the drugs for him and we shall see what the future holds.. and I shall keep you updated over the hard work that im sure is to come. :o
 
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I know how you are feeling am in the same position after my horse bolted with me last week. I am in two minds whether to sell as well and feel guilty as hell as love him to pieces but don't know if we are right for each other. He is also a young horse, well 7 this year. I am giving it a bit longer to see if I can get my confidence back and also to see back lady etc. I hope you find the right solution for you and try not to feel too bad, although I know its hard. Good luck.x
 
Looks like youngsters are hard work for all of us then!!! My 5yo took off with me 4 weeks ago and I haven't got back on as yet but I am planning on going for a plod tonight - wish me luck!! (my friend has ridden him - he has been good as gold - and he has been loose schooled so has been kept ticking over)
I took a massive knock to my confidence, possibly more so cos of the people around me but I wanted to get my mind straight so I decided to spend some time working on my feelings of failure, fear, stress and most of all how much I love my nag and couldn't bare to think of him anywhere else. This has given me a new desire and determination to get back to it and get cracking with progression!

Give it a little longer and take tiny tiny steps. We'll all get there eventually!! xx
 
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