Loosing Interest!

J

joulsey

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Eeeeee, not really sure what the point of this post is, I guess maybe I just want a moan and a grumble!

Im sharing a friends horse at the moment, but the problem is all the fun has come out of it now, and I don't even know why im doing it! Maybe its because of all the rain and dark nights, hopefully I will feel in summer.

Horse is lovely, but the issue is there is just the horse and her companion in a field and two rented stables, no school, cannot ride in the field and awful awful hacking near by. There is only one bridle way, which its so hit and miss with the ground, the maximum canter you can get in is for about 10 seconds, then you have to stop as ground goes stoney/gravel again. We have two playing fields nearby which I worry about cantering on as she is very highly strung and if I was to come off I am worried she would go straight in the road. I could school on them but in winter its a no go with how water logged they are and in summer theres too many people about.

I can only ride at weekends due to weather but I go up and then just think, I can't be arsed, tacking up to either go on a 15 minute hack around the village or to go on the awful bridlepath. I feel awful for not riding as much as I should, but yet again the owner is not working at the moment so she could ride also but isn't. She has probabaly ridden the mare no more than 6 times since I started sharing, and I was under the impression especially in winter she would ride during week to keep her fit. She is turned out 24/7 tho. It doesn't help that in winter as well I get roped into going up after work most days ( I need to take my car up all the way up the lane to turn around and point at the haylage as its too dark). Sometime I have sorted them for 3 days in a row, then think I have a night off, plan a really relaxing night, then 4.50 i get a message asking me If i can go up.

I know the owner has lost interest, she is signed off work with severe depression which is why I rarely let her down and do what I can do (family friend and I know she has a hell of a lot on)

In my heart I know if I had a school I would be riding 3/4 times a week as thats what interests me...I like to get on the horse with an aim/goal and work towards it, which to me, hacking is not.

Don't get me wrong, when we do hack we are not dawdelling along, she is made to work correctly and leg yeilding etc, but its just not what I want :(

Hopefully 2 stables will come up at a nearby yard and we can move there.

I have just read that back, and I think I'm right, I did just want a moan!!:o
 
Well do horse agility then! You can have loads of fun with your horse without riding :) Don't worry, it's just the time of year, everyone loses interest around now. However it does sound like there's some issue with the owner, you need to be clear on which days you do and which days she does. When I'm going through depression the best thing for me is not to have someone do my horses, so I have to force myself to do stuff and carry on.
 
Eeek, whats horse agility? If its anything to do with the field the woman who we rent the field and yard will kick up a stink, she moans even when they trot in the field!

I know what you mean about the depression, maybe I have made it too easy for her. I am one of these people that can't say no though unfortunatly so some of it may be my fault! I guess sometimes I feel sorry for her, and she does appreciate me. She always says thank you so much, don't know what I would do with out you, I would have probably sold up etc etc, im sorry to ask again etc. And also I drive, where as she doesn't

I think set days is definatly what is needed from day one. In another way I have it really good as I can ride and go up absolutly when ever I want and pay £0. I have looked at other shares and they want £30 for riding 2 days, usually during the week as well.
 
I agree with cobs. Or ask for your horse to be moved. I would not appreciate a rider on a playing field...is that even allowed???
 
There's not many yards around us, and as the owner does not drive we are quite limited. One of the yards she has been on before and as nice as it is, there is not turnout Oct- April, and as horse is 23 and slightly arthritic this is a complete no no. The other ard is ideal and is actually just across the road from me, but they only have one stable available at the moment until another horses is sold so its a waiting game really.

I know the straight forward thing to do is find another sharer, but without going to all the details, as she is a family friend and I know what she is going through, I cannot as a human just drop her like that.

Re the playing fields, no probably not, but every Tom Dick and Harry around here on a horse does do. Ive been on maybe 3 times and just around the edge and right at the back, never on the football pitch, would be a few people with broken ankles round here!
 
http://www.thehorseagilityclub.com/

And I know owner is your friend, but she is taking advantage of you. Would she go to a shop and say sorry I can't pay for my food as I'm depressed? No. You're not helping her, you're enabling her to continue as she is. Either have a more professional approach to your current share or find a new one. Carry on as you are and this will end in tears. Thankyou so much doesn't cut it. How much are you spending in fuel? How many hours do you spend doing her horses? Does she manage to get you to pay for any extras?
 
Don't spend much in fuel as its on way from work and at the back of my mums house.

I shall have a look at the website!
 
Nothing :( There is one riding school but its very very basic, and they don't hire out the school. I guess I could ask about at the other local livery if they could let me hire it. Last year it was mentioned there was planning permission granted in for a equestrian centre within hacking distance which would be PERFECT...but so far nothings happened!
 
If she has depression, having set days may well help motivate her because she has to get out to do the horses, and being outside and 'doing' may help with her depression. Can you invent an evening course / job/ regular work late or other excuse to firm up your days with her?
 
It must be tough with her being depressed and a friend. I had a similar experience, a friend wanted to buy a project horse and I said I would chip in, help out and loan it. When it turned up it was an unhandled, quite aggresive stallion that neither of us was very comfy dealing with. The yard we were at was on a busy road, had no school and the fields were unsuitable for working in so we could do very little with the horse. It was about half an hours walk each way from my house and I don't drive. My friend would regularly call me at 5/6 oclock at night in the wind and rain and ask if I could go up and do the horse. As the horse was unhandled and living in while it was gelded, doing anything with it was a real task, especially on your own in the dark (no electricity). I did this for about a year but then decided I'd had enough and told her I couldn't do it anymore. A good decision. In the end we have horses cos we enjoy it, if you don't enjoy it then keeping going seems silly. And a friend taking advantage, whatevers going on in her life, does not help the situation
 
Good on you for being a loyal friend and for respecting your friend's right to privacy!

We don't know all the details so only you can judge whether you're being taken advantage of or whether your friend's still too ill to cope. A person with a true depression simply can't deal with things just because it's 'their day' to do so.

I like your last sentence, when you say you're right and that you just wanted a moan :) . It's that time of the year, isn't it? We've had enough of the winter and the dark nights but we do have a little more daylight now than a few weeks ago and the weather will get better in a few more weeks. Yesterday, I felt like armchair train spotting would be a really tempting hobby to take up :D :p . We'll get there :) .
 
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