losing a horse

azouria

azouria

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I don't know what to do.

The lady who owns my pony lost her horse last Sunday. She just got there in the morning and found him dead in the stable, the vet thinks that it was a heart attack. But she's fallen apart, completely. I have never in my life met someone who treats her horses so much like her children, her whole life revolves around them, and now she just has this inexplicable hole. I dreaded going up there but had to the other day - all his stuff is still in exactly the same place, night rug over the stable door, saddle & numnah still in the tack room. He could have so easily been out in the field and I had to actually force myself to go out there and check to make sure that it wasn't some horrible mistake.

But I really don't know what to do - she's almost stopped contact with everyone - got rid of her fb, I literally get a word in a text if I ask her anything. I haven't even seen her at the yard - she seems to go up there for 1/2 and hour to turn out/bring in the horses when nobody else is around and that's it. I wish that there was something that I could do to help her, I know it will take time but I just feel so awful for her at the moment.

I thought maybe I could write a card for her or a poem, but I just have no idea what to say, i've told her i'm sorry so many times but that sort of thing means nothing when you've lost someone you hold so dear.

Henry was definitely the most loved, cherished horse I have ever met, and I hope he rests in peace.
 
I lost one of my horses two weeks ago. It felt like my world had ended. I don't have children, my horses are my life. I do everything and anything for them. It happened on a Friday night and after I had let everyone know, I didn't want to speak to or see anyone. In fact it was someone on this forum that I kept in touch with via PMs. I didn't go to the yard for nearly a week afterwards, and the only reason I did go back was because I had to collect my other horse from hospital (yes I have had a bad time of it!). If it hadn't been for her, I doubt I would have gone back still. Everyone deals with their grief differently and her way of dealing with it might be to shut herself away and cope with it in her own way. Leave her for a week or two and then contact her again. If you can afford to, send her some a card and some flowers. One of my friends did it for me and I really appreciated it. I hope she feels better soon.
 
I'm so sorry you lost yours, it's a horrible thing to go though.

I'm definitely going to do a card, it's just working out what to write that's the most difficult part.
 
How very sad, having just lost my beloved mare I know how much I appreciated the cards, flowers and kind thoughts from all my friends at the yard. There have been some lovely poems on here in the past that maybe if you do a search you could copy into a card. One of my friends wrote the following in a lovely card which I have on my dresser with the flowers and my favourite photos of my lovely girl:

When the sunset has made it's decline,
and the stars have shone all they can shine,
then I've heard it said that the only place,
is golden and soft and trimmed with lace
and whatever you've dreamed
is where you will be
wrapped in warm eternity

Just be there for your friend, my thoughts are with her.
 
All you can do is make sure that you are there for them when they need to talk. This may take some courage on your part too.Dont allow your friend to shut her self off completely and be prepared to listen and talk.Your friend has a whole lot of pain and conflicting emotions to work through . Dont be afraid to talk about her horse with her.Dont wait for her to bring up the subject, (believe me it will never be far from her thoughts) and it will help her to know that you share her loss .
 
When I lost my horse one of my liveries bought a tree for me to plant in his field, it was a lovely gesture, she didnt need to say anything, so a card with a simple message and flowers or a plant that could grow in memory would be appreciated, even if at the moment she is finding it all hard to cope with.
 
how very sad, there's not a lot you can do just let her know your there which it sounds like you are. I lost my mare in May and it was only a couple of months ago I could bring myself to move her rugs. My OH held her when she was put down, he put her headcollar somewhere and when her shoes came back from the crem he took them as well. I don't know where they are and I can't quite bring myself to ask for them yet even though I've had my new lad a couple of months now - maybe one day...
 
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