Bumblepony
Active Member
I had to have my beautiful pony put to sleep nearly two weeks ago. He was in his mid thirties and we'd been together for almost 19 years. He'd had a number of health issues in the last few years of his life but all were manageable and he was a happy little soul. He had gone downhill in the last month or so though, so I had been mentally preparing myself to make a decision, but in the end it was taken out of my hands when he went down in the field. He'd been happy and relatively well that morning, it all happened quite quickly and peacefully. I'd had him so long I can hardly remember life without him, everything feels quite surreal.
I called him my 'horse of joy', he was everything to me. My reason to get up in the morning, my whole purpose (well, him and my little dog) I've never been much of a one for social occasions (though enjoy being with my friends at the yard) or holidays, and I work from home, so going to the yard to see him was my life in many ways. He was a beautiful kind soul who loved and was loved by all, and I feel extremely lucky to have known him. Despite all of this this, if ever anyone asked me when he was still alive if I'd have another horse, I'd say I didn't think I would, as I felt like I was a bit exhausted with worrying about him.
Well, now he's gone, I feel totally different. I spent the first couple of days not only mourning him but also mourning everything that came along with him; the morning and evening visits to the yard, the horsey community I was part of, my purpose, my 'me time' where I was just faffing about looking after him, the physical exercise, the excuse to be outdoors... A couple of my friends and my Mum told me they thought I should have another one, and although I find it incredibly difficult to think of in many ways, finding and getting used to another, them saying that almost gave me permission to think of it as a possibility, and since then thought of this has been one of the only things keeping me going. I've written a list of pros and cons; there are far more pros and the cons are largely solvable, or at least in the case of ones like horse ownership being a big worry I'm at least used to them!
I did think briefly about sharing a horse or riding friends' horses, but I got so much out of it being me and him, with him there to go and do things with whenever I wanted. I was more into the care and management than riding; I'd not ridden him for ten years, we just used to go for walks, so I don't think I'd have the same enjoyment from sharing. I've also found I can't stop going to the yard! I didn't for the first couple of days or on Christmas day, but other than that have been finding excuses to go up there. I've been gradually working my way through cleaning all of my mats (which I'm managing to take a long time over as everything is taking ages to dry) I sort of feel more 'connected' to him when I'm up there.
So I suppose I'm posting to say, am I being silly thinking about it so soon, and does anyone else have any experiences of taking on a new horse following losing one please? I'm looking at rescues, rather than thinking of buying. Thank you for taking the time to read.
I called him my 'horse of joy', he was everything to me. My reason to get up in the morning, my whole purpose (well, him and my little dog) I've never been much of a one for social occasions (though enjoy being with my friends at the yard) or holidays, and I work from home, so going to the yard to see him was my life in many ways. He was a beautiful kind soul who loved and was loved by all, and I feel extremely lucky to have known him. Despite all of this this, if ever anyone asked me when he was still alive if I'd have another horse, I'd say I didn't think I would, as I felt like I was a bit exhausted with worrying about him.
Well, now he's gone, I feel totally different. I spent the first couple of days not only mourning him but also mourning everything that came along with him; the morning and evening visits to the yard, the horsey community I was part of, my purpose, my 'me time' where I was just faffing about looking after him, the physical exercise, the excuse to be outdoors... A couple of my friends and my Mum told me they thought I should have another one, and although I find it incredibly difficult to think of in many ways, finding and getting used to another, them saying that almost gave me permission to think of it as a possibility, and since then thought of this has been one of the only things keeping me going. I've written a list of pros and cons; there are far more pros and the cons are largely solvable, or at least in the case of ones like horse ownership being a big worry I'm at least used to them!
I did think briefly about sharing a horse or riding friends' horses, but I got so much out of it being me and him, with him there to go and do things with whenever I wanted. I was more into the care and management than riding; I'd not ridden him for ten years, we just used to go for walks, so I don't think I'd have the same enjoyment from sharing. I've also found I can't stop going to the yard! I didn't for the first couple of days or on Christmas day, but other than that have been finding excuses to go up there. I've been gradually working my way through cleaning all of my mats (which I'm managing to take a long time over as everything is taking ages to dry) I sort of feel more 'connected' to him when I'm up there.
So I suppose I'm posting to say, am I being silly thinking about it so soon, and does anyone else have any experiences of taking on a new horse following losing one please? I'm looking at rescues, rather than thinking of buying. Thank you for taking the time to read.
