Losing my best friend

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14 June 2014
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Sadly I must post that my horse of 25 years passed away this past Monday. My days have been filled with tears and the barn is so empty. I wasn't going to go onto any sites about horses but I can't resist. Maybe I can help someone else anyway. I have certainly learned a lot over these past eight months. He was my soulmate and best friend and I'm sure I was his. It was a very tough decision to make and not done lightly but on Monday I new it was time. I had tried everything not just me but the vets and the farrier. On Sunday I even tried homeopathics but was to late and Sunday night he didn't look good at midnight. Strained and was in pain to get up. Gave him more butte and gabapentin as well as calc flor for pain. When I left he was comfortable but somehow I new cried myself to sleep that night. Next morning awoke to blood in his stall and when I looked it had come from his mouth again. He was in more pain so I called the vet and gave him two butte and more gabapentin. Nothing seemed to help when the vet arrived I already knew that this would be the day. The pain he was in was not fair to him . So now I am left here and he is in a better place hopefully running I a beautiful meadow. I m having a tough time with this he was so loved and I spent my days with him. We were very close,such a sweet boy. He has my heart forever!
 
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So sorry to hear about your boy :( my thoughts are with you - I was in your shoes in March. what was wrong with him if you don't mind me asking?

*hugs*
 
After a routine dental in December a week later he was running in the paddock and coughed up blood not a little spool of it. Called vet and they came out . Got an internal specialist to come out scoped him and he had lesions that were in the process of healing in his throat. Slight heart murmur and cushings. Said he would heal and be fine. Put on steroids and an antibiotic. Got better. Put on prescend and became very lethargic. By February he had developed not only the lethargy but his sheath area was very swollen the size of a grapefruit. No seemed concerned I was told it probably needed cleaned but I clean it all the time. Come the end of February he ran a fever one night vet called we couldn't get the fever to come down it was 105 when I called and over the next few days we gave him IV's and more antibiotics. A colic in there and some long days he bounced back. I thought it was the prescend he was tested for all kinds of things and the only they could think of was annaplasmosis. He had all the signs. Then I took him off prescend and put him on herbs the swelling in the sheath went immediately at the urging of everyone I put him back on prescend at half strength and his ACTH levels were great. In February I cut his grain back to just a few cups gave him vitamins minerals herbs and Heiro . His coat looked great he looked the best he had ever looked. Body condition was good. Then out of the blue his front foot became lame vet tested him twice over the next couple of weeks I must have been such a pain calling all the time. He didn't have any heat in foot everything looked good then he got worse and the vet did an X-ray and he had laminitis in just one foot. He got corrective shoes and pour pad. May another bought of colic and his other foot got bad farrier came out and vet and found thrush under heart bar and poured pad so took it off and put. A regular shoe on just the one foot again I kept calling as he got worse and then sometime in that week vet did X-ray and his foot had dropped just slightly put new pad on this time a egg bar and poured pad by the way thrush was gone. He was better for a week then started to hurt again called vet and farrier X-rays showed stable no improvement. Most of the time no digital pulse in foot and no heat. But very sore the original foot was fine. He ran a fever last week again that was when the X-rays were taken again. Fever of 103.7 back on antibiotics he had developed a cough to and gabapentin for pain and butte along with all his herbs and he got better for two days but the cough never really went . On Saturday contacted an holistic med person and I put him on homeopathic as well as his regular meds was told fine to do. He got better Sunday but didn't eat all his soaked hay cubes that day I stayed there all day and night never left his side. By midnight he wasn't looking to good and had been laying down to sleep and tried to get and you could hear and see him straining to get up by morning he coughed up blood and was having trouble with all four feet. I really didn't want to let him go but I new it was only fair to him. He had such a sad face and kept rocking every once in awhile it was time. I felt it was the best thing for him. I'm lost without him. He was my best friend I was so close to him. I have cried for three days now and thought it would get easier with the days but it's getting worse. I can't bring myself to clean his stall yet I walk in the barn to feed the goats and it's empty. They miss him too they cry at night when I close them in for the night it's a very sad barn and house these days
 
I also have to say my vets were great they were available at all hours of the night and listened to me every time I would call even my dumb questions. They were so gentle with my horse and I can't say enough good things about them. They think possibly he had cancer we will never be sure because I didn't want to send him to a teaching college to be torn apart for a diagnosis that didn't matter anymore ....they never suggested it ....others did. I couldn't do it
 
I'm so sorry xxxx You clearly loved your boy very much, and he loved you. Lifetimes with horses are a wonderful thing, but so sad when time finally runs out.
 
I also have to say my vets were great they were available at all hours of the night and listened to me every time I would call even my dumb questions. They were so gentle with my horse and I can't say enough good things about them. They think possibly he had cancer we will never be sure because I didn't want to send him to a teaching college to be torn apart for a diagnosis that didn't matter anymore ....they never suggested it ....others did. I couldn't do it

I'm so sorry to hear and you were so strong for him.

He did have cancer though - cushings is usually a tumour of the pituitary gland and although it usually causes fatal problems before it spreads, it can spread like other tumours do.

Thinking of you x
 
I'm so sorry for your loss and your heartbreak. He is now at peace. It is the kindest thing to help your friend at the end. Please take comfort from having given him love and care for 25 years, he was very lucky indeed.
 
So sorry for your loss.
You did all you could and were there for him at the end. It sounds as though he had a wonderful home and a long life. What more could a horse want.
 
im so sorry you lost your best friend. I cried my eyes out in work reading this post :( lots of hugs for you, and you did the very best you could for him, well done to you for allowing him to be pain free, as hard as it is :(
 
I am so sorry for your loss, dreading it when I lose my horse who is 17 and I have owned for ten years. He is my best mate.
 
How very sad, but take comfort in the fact that you did everything you possibly could for him, and made a tough but brave decision for his benefit, not yours x
 
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