Losing my Nerve

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Cloud9

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I think I am neally ready to give up as am losing my nerve - have owned my cob for 8 years - we have had our ups and downs - have never owned a horse before him so we have learnt together - he is stubborn but deep down a really good boy and I love him to bits. I have always ridden alone and we have done miles and miles and he was always good in traffic. However he has suddenly decided life off the yard is soooo scary - he is now very nervous on his own, so much so that I am now terrified out on my own - he does not want to leave the yard but once on the road goes but is so nervous - when I do get the chance to ride in company he is fine - my boyfriend now comes out with me on his bike and that is not so bad - but he is hit and miss - last weekend in high wind was good as gold - today weather lovely and I thought he might kill me- ready to pop at any time and run for home. I just don't know which horse is going to turn up on the day now - how do I overcome this - I keep trying and want to overcome this but am now ready to give up.
 
Don't give up and don't lose hope!!

Has something happened to him where his life style has been effected or changed recently?? Moved fields? Herd change issues? Feed change? etc??
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I think it's good what you are doing with your boyfriend. Why not see if you can arrange an instructor/trainer to go out wth you and see what they can see happening, sometimes easier to see things from the ground xx
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Very difficult with an inconsistant horse but if at all possible you should avoid hacking on your own until you feel more confident.

The brain doesnt know the difference between your imagination and what is real. So if you are constantly thinking you are ging to have a problem or you are going to hurt yourself then your brain acts accordingly to keep you safe and ups the stress hormone in your body. hence you get even more nervous. More info on here-

http://www.theconsultingrooms.co.uk/articles.html#magic

Also, try to train at home in hand if there are particluar things your horse is spooky at. Use your imagination and change things around regularly- feed sacks, old clothes, ropes, anything scattered about so your horse becomes accostomed to new things and is less reactive.
 
[ QUOTE ]
Don't give up and don't lose hope!!

Has something happened to him where his life style has been effected or changed recently?? Moved fields? Herd change issues? Feed change? etc??
confused.gif


I think it's good what you are doing with your boyfriend. Why not see if you can arrange an instructor/trainer to go out wth you and see what they can see happening, sometimes easier to see things from the ground xx
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[/ QUOTE ]

I was going to ask the same questions - there is usually a reason for a change in behaviour
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Sorry, this might sound patronizing and it's not meant to!

Have you had checked:
Back
Teeth
Tack

Have there been any changes in:
Feed
Companion/s
Field
Stable
Bedding
You

Do you have an instructor or experienced friend who can help out?
 
Thanks so much all for replaying - he is an 11 year old cob - only fed dengie hi-fi light, small scoop of garlic, Hilton Herbs Hoof and Health and I also give him Magnitude calmer which has made no difference at all -he has gone though alot in last 18 months - had to move off a yard with his fieldmate thenhis field mate of 5 years was sold which left him on his own and January this year I moved back to a yard in the area we had to leave as I loved the hacking round there. He is now on a beautiful yard with six other horses but he is in field on his own and now lives out. Its almost as if he does not want to leave yard then rushes to get back. I now only do the small block as it is now my safety route as not too far away from home if something happens. I am determined - i love my horse so much but it is so frustrating as we used to hack for hours anywhere and everywhere. I do think is no feeding off my nerves to -when he is good he is very very good but when he is bad................ He feels like he is going to explode and run - he is a very strong horse and sometime i can even feel his heart through the saddle when he is in his spooky frame of mind
 
It sounds like he is just insecure and worried due to all the changes in his life. Hopefully he will settle with time but in the meantime make sure you always have company when going out, even if its not another horse. You could also lead out in hand on days you feel nervous.
 
Teeth are due to be done but he has not had his back checked so I suppose I need this done to rule anything out - I don't have an instructor, no changes in his feed, but as I said he has had a few ups and dows in yard changes in last 18 months- I am still the same (I think!!!). Maybe I could get someone else to ride him to see what they think. Its just so strange that one day we have a great ride and the next he is a nervous wreck
 
Sammi use to be an absolute nightmare when he was paddocked on his own. I moved yards and he is in a herd of 8. His whole personality has changed now, definitely for the better, he seems so much happier!
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Perhaps you could ask to share a field? Or loan a companion? Sounds from what you said, he has been through alot lately and needs stability.
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Don't beat yourself up about it, these things happen. I have owned Sammi for 13 years, and have been at a fair few yards around the area. I have been at my current yard for 5 years and it is the happiest I have ever known him. It will work out I'm sure xx
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He's had a number of changes and it sounds like a seperation issue. He needs to know that 'his' place is his and not going to change.

Others will no doubt have better ideas, but I'd chill - and let him chill and learn to settle in his home. I'd walk him out in hand (bridle with a long lead rope), making each walk out a bit longer than the last. Push his comfort boundary, but slowly. Also, he sounds like a horse that likes routine, so if you can either continue if you have an existing one, or start one and stick to it
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Your right about routine - he is a very insecure horse - he likes his certain routes and does not like new rides!! I will let him chill and make next spring a new start and in the meantime I suppose I must not let my nerves get the better of me - MUST THINK POSITIVE
 
I've had my native cob x 5 years. He's the first horse I've ever owned. Had a honeymoon period of 2 months when I first got him when I could hack out on my own no problem and then he became very nappy, not spooky necessarily just determined after a short distance that he was going back home (sometimes even when we were with other horses from the yard). I now believe this was because where he'd come from he'd just been with 1 other horse occasionally and 2 sheep and his biggest attachment was to his owner as she was a great horsewoman. Where I took him to he was turned out with 10 other geldings and would rather be with them than me until we bonded which took some time. He was quite scary and would try to reverse me into ditches and spin, lose the plot at quad bikes, etc, and so I decided I wouldn't hack out on my own until got it sorted as we had some frightening experiences amongst traffic when he napped and I realised I just made the problem worse when he played up as I got so nervous he picked it up through my legs and seat. So I hacked out with one other horse (most of the time this was one excellent lead mare off the yard who spooks at nothing) or with more than 1 horse for best part of a year every weekend and week nights in the summer when I could and stayed as calm as I could when we had problems and the others I was riding with would help me by getting behind him on their horses and encouraging him on when we got stuck. He got better and better and very used to all the hacks we regularly went on so nothing was too much of a surprise anymore. Finally one day when I felt very confident and strong we did a small ride all by ourselves again and he was perfect and we've never looked back apart from the very odd nap at something stupid which I now know how to get him past safely as he doesn't scare me anymore. I think horses are all different and some can take a long long time to settle into a new home - reckon mine took a good year. I think like Mrs M says you might need to go back a step to let him relax again before going forward. I hope you and he can get through this as he obviously means a great deal to you. I also had lessons fortnightly which I think also help a great deal in cementing a relationship with your horse and learning things that are helpful for hacking. Best of luck.
 
It might sound mad but I found a couple of sessions with a sports psychologist really helped me with my nerves. I realised I was building very negative images in my head, imagining what was going to go wrong on a ride before I even set off. I was fine hunting, competing, but just had issues hacking on my own after riding a couple of nappy, difficult horses. I think it will be a combo of your tension and his building together, and perhaps talking to someone about what is going through your mind when you deal with tricky situations might help. I would try and get a couple of riding lessons too, as you may go rigid in your arms or something when he tenses, and I found you need to be aware of exactly what you are doing to be able to ride positivly through difficult situations. Probably not the right advice for everyone, but it has helped for me, and I hope it might for you.
 
I agree with MrsM. It sounds as though he is missing having company. It would also be worth having his back and saddle checked. My mare's behaviour changed enormously for the better after the saddler reflocked my saddle. She had been reacting to loud noises but now ignores just about everything - not the most obvious reaction to saddle problems - but that is definitely the cause!
 
When I first moved onto current yard I put him in with a much older mare and another coloured gelding - but the gelding kept kicking and biting him - seeing him off and tore a rug off him - so I took the decision to separate him - he did not seem to mind as he always grazed on complete opposite side to them - I kept him in with them till the other gelding had shoes put on - did not want to risk an injury to my boy. As a result he looked to me more for support etc but maybe he does need company again. I will take all your advice on board as I need to overcome this. Good job the lanes are so quiet where we are. Might start using the round pen we have to do some groundwork too but not confident on what do to - going to see Monty Roberts next week hoping to get a few tips.
 
I would get his eye's checked, does he have a stiff neck!!! some times horse's can get so stiff in the neck that they spook because they are so focus in front that they fail to look around, esp at stationary objects... get a physio out and a vet to look for signs of cataracts developing in the eye's... your feeding sounds fine, as quite low in starch in his feeds.
 
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