Losing my nerve

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katiex2

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Hello everyone - but am I the only one losing my nerve after having children. My twins are just turned 3 and I lost my mare of 7 years a few months ago. Now have a new horse but I have definately slapped on a preservation order!! My confidence is low to say the least. How has any of you got over this?? Any suggestions for upping my confidence??
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A lady called Caroline Putus runs weekends away called Enjoy Riding, which are specifically tailored for riders who want to regain their confidence. You should be able to Google her.
Just take it easy - push yourself at your own pace. Don't rush anything.
Do you keep your horse with anyone else, who you could possibly tag along with until you are more confident in yourself?
Sorry to hear about you losing your mare - do you think that has anything to do with the confidence issue?
 
Yes - I think it has alot to do with it - I knew that horse inside out and had turned her from a bolting nightmare into a lovely allrounder who would go and give everything a go. I suppose the fact that she died suddenly at only 11 doesn't help either. I have been hacking out with a close friend on her old faithful pony and have been fine but I can't help but worry!! It also doesn't help that a couple of the horses I tried when looking for a new horse turned out to be cow-kicking bronco maniacs!!
 
Hi
I can fully understand - the very same happened to me. Lost my old faithful horse and when i bought a new one 12 months later, my confidence started to crumble. (I also tried a few broncing maniacs in my search which does not help) It started with not wanting to hack out, then not wanting to jump in the school, then not canter etc etc. It got to a point where i just stopped riding for about 3 months and no amount of money in the world would have got me back on baord. Anyway i decided that horses were too important to me for that to be the end of it. So i moved yards and the people on the new yard were really supportive (i found that really helped) and then i sought lessons with a very good instructor who has helped me along. During this time i also looked into a lot of the psychology of fear and too had a session with Jo Cooper (good but didn't work for me as it was the wrong time) and also spoke with Caroline Putus. She was very helpful and will answer your emails through a site called naturalhorsepeople.org I also used bach flower remedies (given that these are for emotional states) and i have to say, in conjunction with the excellent instructor have been the most effective. I used minimulus for fear of a known thing, larch for lacking self confidence, white chestnut for a worrying mind and star of bethlemhem for shifting old negative traumas. I took them for about 8 weeks (a few drops of each a day in a cuppa reducing over time when it felt right to do so) - then, over the space of a few days the dreaded feeling of fear just lifted and was gone. That was about 2 months ago - just last week i took my horses away from home for a lesson for the first time ever. I'm still not keen on hacking out because even though i don't feel scared as such, i'm aware that this new confidence might be fragile and i don't want to shatter it with any incidents. (I take minimulus for a couple of days if i have a bit of a wobble) Whilst losing my confidence felt like the worst thing that happened to me, it has also been the best thing too as i have learnt techniques to deal with it and the more times i recover from a wobble the stronger the confidence returns. I hope you find a solution and that your confidence returns - i know that feeling exactly and apparantly it is very common when you lose a good horse. Have hope though, it can be worked through and when it does i'm sure you will be a better horse person for it
Good luck
 
you are not the only one by any means all (well most of) my friends after having our children we lost our confidence, i just took things very slowly pushed myself alittle further every time, i even went back to our local riding school and had some lunge lessons that really helped as someelse is looking after you and giving you confidence. good luck.
 
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