'Losing your nerve'

[Erehwemos]

The posts involving KeyHold have made me quite contemplative. What exactly does 'losing your nerve' mean, and have any of us here truly 'lost it'?

When people ask why I dont jump any more, I tell them that I lost my nerve in a bad fall. I have always believed that, but when I really think about it, I dont know how true it is. If you do lose your nerve, surely that means you cannot ever, ever face doing that thing again? Like people who lose their nerve driving after a crash...they dont say, 'well I'll drive every now and again but I dont like it' - if they've truly lost their nerve, they never drive again, simple as. And people who completely 'lose their nerve' for riding altogether - they never get back on the horse.
In which case, I jumped for a whole year after my accident before breaking down and realising that I just couldnt do it any more. It wasnt so much that I felt I couldnt jump ever again, just that what I was doing and the level I was doing it at were no longer right, and that the nervousness I was suffering after the accident meant I was endangering both myself and Ellie. Also, since 'giving up jumping,' I have jumped a couple of fences on sponsored rides, with no problems. So is it more a 'loss of confidence' than of nerve?

Just pondering! Would be interesting to hear from anyone else who feels they've lost their nerve for a particular activity, too

 

[JavaJaneW]

I lost mine when I was dumped by Herbie (twice, when I first got him)
Have not attempted to get on him since.
The mere thought of getting on him makes me feel sick

yet I look at him with R on him and he is fabulous, I love him to bits, but my nerves will not allow me to sit on him, even with an army of people around.

I shake and could easily throw up.


In fact, even getting on Magic (rare) my legs wobble, I clutch on to the saddle like a baby and I constantly fret whilst out.

Guess that is total nerve loss?

 

[spike123]

I would say I lost confidence in jumping after suffering a bad fall like you did.I didn't jump at all for about 2 years but then I found I really wanted to try again as I actually enjoy jumping but was worried about it.I got a new horse who was a schoolmaster type and started to jump again. I found I enjoyed it but was still nervous.However the more I did the more I enjoyed it and in time I regained confidence in my ability and started to get out and about to shows again.
I now have a youngster who I am bringing on and have just started to jump.I must admit my nerves have returned,mainly because I don't know my horses capabilities.

 

[bexandspooky]

I lost mine owning a horse that wasn't suited to me.

I sold him and bought spooks and have come on leaps and bounds in the last 4 years.

I refer to having lost my nerve in the past tense, but think that a lot of the fears stay with me, even if hidden just out of sight. I have jumped and done the odd hunter trial, but the whole jumping thing frightens the crap out of me still! We branched out into endurance and had a few fantastic years charging around the countryside!

I know I have plenty of ability, I think i just look for accidents waiting to happen now!!

 

[Jericho]

I think its not so much about losing your nerve completely but not enjoying it due to realising what can happen. Since a break from horses and having children I just dont enjoy jumping, I do the odd jump and very low XC but cant say I love doing it. I do it because I feel I should because my boy is excellent and totally trustworthy but I scare myself. When I was younger I didnt think about it therefore jumped everything....

 

[diggerbez]

sometimes i think its not necessairly about losing your nerve but maybe re-evaluating what you want to do with horses and your life and your priorities change....personally i detest SJ (cracked spine in an SJ fall) but love XC so i make myself SJ coz i want to event so much

but if i ever wasn't enjoying the XC side of things i'd sack the lot off and become a bling bling dressage rider

 

[diamonddogs]

I've had Kelly for seven weeks now and I still haven't ridden her.

Nothing happened to me to make me nervous about riding; I just had a very long break. Then the first time I rode after my longest time away (about ten years) was five days after a general anaesthetic. I got on, and when the horse moved off the world span for a few seconds and I nearly flipped. I could only ride at walk round the school, with someone walking at the side of me, and kept wanting to trot but something was stopping me.

Now I'll never know whether my nerve had gone anyway or it was a side effect of the anaesthetic. All I know is I desperately want to ride but I'm not ready. I'm sure a day will come when I AM ready and I'll get on and it'll be fine.

Meanwhile I'm building my confidence day by day on the ground which is helping, but it's so frustrating.