Loss of nerve (Menopause)

[HighlandPoniesHampshire]

Good evening everyone, I am wondering if any other ladies on here lost their nerve when going through Menopause? I’ve not ridden for a year now and the thought of getting back in the saddle makes me feel sick. Before Menopause I was not the most confident rider but world happily potter about the countryside, but now I can’t even tack up without getting the what if’s. I’m so sad as I’m only 50 and don’t want to give up riding. I have two lovely Highland ponies who I bought last year and I’ve not ridden either of them.
I’d very much appreciate any words of advice or encouragement as to how I get through this. The thought of never riding again is too awful to consider !

 

[teapot]

Great thread here: https://forums.horseandhound.co.uk/threads/riding-and-the-menopause.808200/

 

[HighlandPoniesHampshire]

Great thread here: https://forums.horseandhound.co.uk/threads/riding-and-the-menopause.808200/

that’s great thank you so much

 

[Equi]

I think you would benefit from a few lessons at a riding school again. Its always my go to if i have a wobble because they generally only put you on a horse they know will suit so if i tell them im nervous they put me on something with half a hoof in heaven. This then reminds me how bloody annoying i find plods and brings my confidence back up.

If you don't already have a rider for your highlands, i would definitely find some. Watching them riding without going bonkers will give you a little faith in them and you can go at baby steps. Just get on, then get off. Maybe get on walk two steps then get off. It will all build up eventually

Also, its against the forum rules to say you have lovely highland ponies and not post pictures..just so you are aware

 

[HighlandPoniesHampshire]

I think you would benefit from a few lessons at a riding school again. Its always my go to if i have a wobble because they generally only put you on a horse they know will suit so if i tell them im nervous they put me on something with half a hoof in heaven. This then reminds me how bloody annoying i find plods and brings my confidence back up.

If you don't already have a rider for your highlands, i would definitely find some. Watching them riding without going bonkers will give you a little faith in them and you can go at baby steps. Just get on, then get off. Maybe get on walk two steps then get off. It will all build up eventually

Also, its against the forum rules to say you have lovely highland ponies and not post pictures..just so you are aware

hahahaha Equi “one hoof in heaven” that did make me laugh out loud ??

what a great idea about having a lesson I did this once before years ago but had forgotten !! I’ll get one booked straight away.

don’t get me started with pictures I have hundreds !! ???

 

[Equi]

Great news on the lesson. They really are so helpful.

I love them both already! They both look very comfortable.

 

[HighlandPoniesHampshire]

I think you would benefit from a few lessons at a riding school again. Its always my go to if i have a wobble because they generally only put you on a horse they know will suit so if i tell them im nervous they put me on something with half a hoof in heaven. This then reminds me how bloody annoying i find plods and brings my confidence back up.

If you don't already have a rider for your highlands, i would definitely find some. Watching them riding without going bonkers will give you a little faith in them and you can go at baby steps. Just get on, then get off. Maybe get on walk two steps then get off. It will all build up eventually

Also, its against the forum rules to say you have lovely highland ponies and not post pictures..just so you are aware

aww thank you they were my 50th birthday gift to myself

 

[J&S]

If they are both safe and sound, can you get a trusted friend to come and help you. Just start from scratch with grooming and practicing tacking up together, then have a coffee and "de brief". As you progress consider letting your friend help you mount and walk about a bit. Coffee and "de brief". Just add little steps then give your selves a treat.

 

[HappyHollyDays]

I came back to riding as I was going through the menopause and combined with a 3 year old very opinionated pony I really struggled. He is now 11 and I wouldn’t part with him for the world. My confidence grew leaps and bounds because I got help for both of us and it made me realise as you get older that confidence you had as a teen/young adult is nothing like the confidence you have in your 50’s. I still sometimes wobble but it’s not often because I don’t put myself in stressful situations with either my ponies but I now tow confidently, go on fun rides, clinics and day camps so it can be done. Don't despair, take it slowly and things will fall into place and if all you feel like doing is grooming and general care then do that until you are ready.

 

[HighlandPoniesHampshire]

If they are both safe and sound, can you get a trusted friend to come and help you. Just start from scratch with grooming and practicing tacking up together, then have a coffee and "de brief". As you progress consider letting your friend help you mount and walk about a bit. Coffee and "de brief". Just add little steps then give your selves a treat.

they are both safe and sensible but a little green so I’ll definitely have a friend who’s confident come and ride them both just to reassure me they are not fire breathing dragons ?

damn menopause !! ?

 

[HighlandPoniesHampshire]

I came back to riding as I was going through the menopause and combined with a 3 year old very opinionated pony I really struggled. He is now 11 and I wouldn’t part with him for the world. My confidence grew leaps and bounds because I got help for both of us and it made me realise as you get older that confidence you had as a teen/young adult is nothing like the confidence you have in your 50’s. I still sometimes wobble but it’s not often because I don’t put myself in stressful situations with either my ponies but I now tow confidently, go on fun rides, clinics and day camps so it can be done. Don't despair, take it slowly and things will fall into place and if all you feel like doing is grooming and general care then do that until you are ready.

Thank you that’s very much appreciated and gives me a lot of hope for the future.

I think the reality that I can’t do it alone is setting in and asking for help is going to be the best plan of action.

I’m so pleased you worked things out for you and your horse

 

[PinkvSantaboots]

I just turned 50 I am definitely not the person I used to be I really lack confidence and really don't believe in myself anymore, it didn't help that 4 years ago one of my horses fell on me whilst cantering and I smashed my ankle pretty bad.

So with the combination of that I have struggled I have 2 arabs that I have had a very long time, there has been tears and wobbles but I am so much better than I was but its not been easy.

I did a course at the horse combat center in Hemel Hempstead and that really helped me, I still have the hypnosis sessions on my phone that I listen to regularly and they help a lot so does Carl's book.

I would recommend looking them up on Facebook they do all sorts of courses and send you all sorts of stuff that is really useful.

I also rode a friends very quiet steady horse for a while which helped me gain the confidence to feel better riding my own, honestly you can get through this it will take time and it's bloody hard but you can do it.

 

[HighlandPoniesHampshire]

I just turned 50 I am definitely not the person I used to be I really lack confidence and really don't believe in myself anymore, it didn't help that 4 years ago one of my horses fell on me whilst cantering and I smashed my ankle pretty bad.

So with the combination of that I have struggled I have 2 arabs that I have had a very long time, there has been tears and wobbles but I am so much better than I was but its not been easy.

I did a course at the horse combat center in Hemel Hempstead and that really helped me, I still have the hypnosis sessions on my phone that I listen to regularly and they help a lot so does Carl's book.

I would recommend looking them up on Facebook they do all sorts of courses and send you all sorts of stuff that is really useful.

I also rode a friends very quiet steady horse for a while which helped me gain the confidence to feel better riding my own, honestly you can get through this it will take time and it's bloody hard but you can do it.

same here ! 50 this year, gosh what an amazing story, I’m so pleased you got through it and are now happier and riding again. I think a bad fall in 2013 never really left me and when the menopause started 4 years ago my confidence gradually depleted until I stopped riding altogether. I’m determined not to give up though. Lessons here I come !

 

[skint1]

Sorry deleted because it wasn't very positive!

 

[PinkvSantaboots]

same here ! 50 this year, gosh what an amazing story, I’m so pleased you got through it and are now happier and riding again. I think a bad fall in 2013 never really left me and when the menopause started 4 years ago my confidence gradually depleted until I stopped riding altogether. I’m determined not to give up though. Lessons here I come !

You can do it just get some help I just took a massive step back and some days I just rode for 15 minutes and sometimes just walked around the school, sometimes just taking small steps everyday and setting small goals so you win everyday is the answer.

 

[Errin Paddywack]

You have two gorgeous ponies. Very nice types indeed.

 

[humblepie]

I’m sure it affected my confidence. Not necessarily riding but just general. Think it is back now though! Sound very good advice above.

 

[Jellymoon]

There’s so much good info in the thread I started a couple of weeks ago, I was overwhelmed by the response, and very moved by many of the stories. I posted because I was also feeling unusually nervy about riding.
On the basis of the thread, I started a very low dose of hrt, and I feel like myself again. I haven’t even really had a break from riding, but I started feeling worried about getting on young horses. I would imagine all sorts of things going wrong.
Anyway, I set myself achievable tasks, like taking the 4 yr old on what I call my ‘safe’ hack - a well worn route with no traffic - every day until I got bored. And also getting someone to come with me, a friend, or my daughter, so I wasn’t alone. I’m ok now, back to nearly normal I think.
The other thing which helps me is to think, we are only half way through our lives, might have another 40/50 yrs to go. Do you really want to give up now?
I think the danger is, menopause makes us feel a bit like life is over and we are suddenly nervous old ladies. Which is, of course, utter rubbish!

 

[MiJodsR2BlinkinTite]

A good "equine mentor" is a good thing; I'm lucky in that I had/have someone who understands confidence issues and can stand back and look at the horse & rider combination too. Invaluable.

You need an instructor/mentor who will understand what you're body is going through and how your emotions will be effected as well by menopause; for this reason - with the best will in the world - a younger instructor just won't get it! You need someone who will understand.

 

[zoehod]

Good evening everyone, I am wondering if any other ladies on here lost their nerve when going through Menopause? I’ve not ridden for a year now and the thought of getting back in the saddle makes me feel sick. Before Menopause I was not the most confident rider but world happily potter about the countryside, but now I can’t even tack up without getting the what if’s. I’m so sad as I’m only 50 and don’t want to give up riding. I have two lovely Highland ponies who I bought last year and I’ve not ridden either of them.
I’d very much appreciate any words of advice or encouragement as to how I get through this. The thought of never riding again is too awful to consider !

Dear all, common symptoms of the menopause that we hear about every day in clinic include anxiety, 'loss of joy', loss of confidence, brain fog, loss of strength and loss of motivation. Testosterone deficiency is very common by the time the majority of women reach menopause and replacing it can make a vast difference. If it isn't something that you have head of before there are a lot of resources on https://www.balance-menopause.com/ (search testosterone). The website is all evidence based and there are weekly podcasts with experts from across the world. If you are unsure whether you are entering perimenopause (this can commonly last for 7 years before periods stop) then the free 'balance menopause app' allows you to start tracking your symptoms and produces a health report that can then be discussed with your GP.
If it would help at all I will pop on here from time to time to answer questions

Best wishes

Zoe Hodson (Menopause Specialist at Newson Health)

 

[HighlandPoniesHampshire]

Dear all, common symptoms of the menopause that we hear about every day in clinic include anxiety, 'loss of joy', loss of confidence, brain fog, loss of strength and loss of motivation. Testosterone deficiency is very common by the time the majority of women reach menopause and replacing it can make a vast difference. If it isn't something that you have head of before there are a lot of resources on https://www.balance-menopause.com/ (search testosterone). The website is all evidence based and there are weekly podcasts with experts from across the world. If you are unsure whether you are entering perimenopause (this can commonly last for 7 years before periods stop) then the free 'balance menopause app' allows you to start tracking your symptoms and produces a health report that can then be discussed with your GP.
If it would help at all I will pop on here from time to time to answer questions

Best wishes

Zoe Hodson (Menopause Specialist at Newson Health)

Hi Zoe thank you for your message. I have been battling with my GP to get testosterone but they keep telling me they can’t prescribe it so I am going to have to look at getting it privately which is soooo expensive ?

 

[zoehod]

We are doing a lot of work on this as there is no reason why it shouldn't be done in General Practice. The amount of red tape surrounding it is unbelievable. Have you asked your GP for a referral to your nearest NHS menopause clinic? https://thebms.org.uk/ if you go onto this website there is a box 'find a specialist'. Unclick the private clinic box and it will show the nearest NHS one to you.

 

[HighlandPoniesHampshire]

We are doing a lot of work on this as there is no reason why it shouldn't be done in General Practice. The amount of red tape surrounding it is unbelievable. Have you asked your GP for a referral to your nearest NHS menopause clinic? https://thebms.org.uk/ if you go onto this website there is a box 'find a specialist'. Unclick the private clinic box and it will show the nearest NHS one to you.

hi no they just told me no and that was that. I will go and look now. Thank you so much .

 

[exracehorse]

Definitely. I’m about to ride my four year old. And feel sick. I’ve lost motivation. Have no energy. And awful anxiety. I’m 53.

 

[zoehod]

The anxiety can be dreadful. Oestrogen 'buffers' the sympathetic nervous system so when it dips the threat system ramps up. Becky Quicke is a menopause psychologist who writes a lot about this on her blog