Lost confidence - any advise

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Henny

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hello, i have lost my confidence with my horse, he started being very naughty. not listening all the way through to bucking and rearing and generally throwing his toys out the pram. Since then we have changed his feed and tack, checked there are no underlying probs and he has been going really well. We have varied his routine lots of hacking ect and he has been so good. but now i have been riding him for a week without instructor and we havent had chance to hack he is back to all tricks planting himself not going forward. I know it is a mental thing but i get worried!! I need to make him do it, any tips to boost my confidence and get him through this.

Sorry its so long!
 
Awwwww poor you!
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What sort of things does he do? When you say he refuses to go forward, does he back up/buck/rear or just stop dead? And when he rears, does he go right up, or is it more of a half rear?

Lack of confidence is an awful thing; if you dont naturally have it, then I dont believe anything can suddenly change that. This is why I have given up showjumping
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To me, it sounds like he is playing you up because he can, naughty horse. How big is he?

Sorry for all the questions lol!
 
thats ok, thanks for replying! he's 16hh, broken last year. toaday they were baby rears maybe only a foot or so off the floor, but he can go up high! he knows he will scare me. I am hoping that lessons will help, i need to win i think becuae my instructor won one of his battles and now he doesnt test her, but he still does with me!

today he was walkin round and as soon as i put my leg on he stopped, and thenmini reared, so i pushed him on and changed direction, and he kept going. Its like I knmow i need to be firm and send him forward, but i worry about falling off, espec if i am on my own like today
 
do you ride in a body protector? this my help you feel more secure when riding to know the is a lesser chance you may get ingured.

and until you are confident with your horse i would always recomend some one being there, just incase

s.
 
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thats ok, thanks for replying! he's 16hh, broken last year. toaday they were baby rears maybe only a foot or so off the floor, but he can go up high! he knows he will scare me. I am hoping that lessons will help, i need to win i think becuae my instructor won one of his battles and now he doesnt test her, but he still does with me!

today he was walkin round and as soon as i put my leg on he stopped, and thenmini reared, so i pushed him on and changed direction, and he kept going. Its like I knmow i need to be firm and send him forward, but i worry about falling off, espec if i am on my own like today

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gosh, its so tricky when its a youngster you're dealing with! I've been in exactly the same situation as you, riding a 4 year old. We were fine for a while, then he got canny to my mistakes, and I got frightened of him, and bang! it all went down the drain. I dont know what to advise, really; I know several ways of curing a horse of rearing, but they are quite severe and not ideal for a young/inexperienced horse.
Watch carefully to see how your instructor 'wins' the battle - and try to copy the aids. If horse goes to rear, try turning him in a very tight circle, and then send him on - but dont do this too often as he will think it is an excuse to spin round. It sounds silly, but I would also try to do some small exercises when you think he is about to play up; eg. turn on the forehand, rein back - just to get him listening to you, and get his mind off mucking around. I wouldnt smack him too much, as it will probably throw him into a rage and scare you even more. Believe me, I have been there with many horses - Ellie is the first I have actually managed to get to grips with without jumping off and giving up!

Good luck! x
 
Thanks so much for your help. I dont think that his rearing is so much of an issue in its self, it is just that he is so evasive!!! You are also right about the smacking because that makes him crosser. My instructor has him going really forward, which seems to be the key, also now he know that as much as he tries her out she wont give in! I have been riding for a long time and had youngsters before but he has really tested me so that I feel I cant ride well enough! I am going to try riding when other people are around, and have lots of lessons. On a good day he is so good and I havea geat time, but my confidence feels very frail with him at the moment, I need to get sorted sooner rather than later!!! x
 
Hello,

I do feel sorry for you - I think we've all been there.

Can you lunge? When I was having issues with my TBxwarmblood youngster, I used to give him a jolly good lunge before I got on him. I also rode in a back protector & with a neckstrap. Mine used to buck like a bronco rather than rear/plant, but he was less inclined after a long lunge. Then you set up a +ve cycle cos you're breaking the expectation that each ride is going to be an ordeal.

Could you put him on a calmer eg nupafeed or similar? Have you tried rescue remedy for yourself? I'm not sure if 'fizz' training is still going (have a google), but I worked through their binder & found it really helpful.

Maybe set yourself some sort of plan with goals & timescales & if it's not working out, perhaps have a re-think whether you & your horse are right for each other? You are supposed to enjoy your riding, not dread it!!

FWIW I had a TB once who turned into a raving lunatic & altho I'm fairly competent & not too bad at sitting tight, I used to feel sick on the way to the yard & the whole time I was riding I had such a dry mouth & didn't enjoy a single second of it except for getting off once I'd survived the ordeal.

Good luck!!

T x
 
I am not an expert but do you really think rein back is a good thing to do on a horse that is threatening to rear?

Too much pressure and that will encourage him to go up? I would have thought it's forwards all the way
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confidence is so hard in these situations, i just try act really calm and try to let them think they are fussing over nothing and that you will not stand for it kind of attitude. my girl can plant her feet etc and its not everyones ideal what i am suggesting, but i have not been adverse to jumping off making her walk on, and its worked a treat on those occasions where she will try test my confidence, as they do, this is only viable if you can get back on with ease from the ground and whilst out on a hack, as long as you have been able to do this before it wont be a problem
also try singing or whistling and keeping the leg on the whole time pushing forwards gently when there is a hint of napping, this is what i try and it also generally works
hope some of this has helped, good luck
 
I can sympathise - my confidence goes up and down like a yoyo! To help I always ride in a body protector and if I am on a 'down' day I lunge my mare first as she takes advantage and plays up as much as she can. Also, I never ride when I'm alone on the yard as it makes me feel a bit more positive.
Everyone loses confidence from time to time - I try to take solace in the fact that Pippa Funnell has confidence problems
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I can remember feeling the same way the last time I had a youngster. She would be an angel most of the time, but could be lethal. I spent a year of feeling very pleased with myself for about an hour after I'd ridden her, then would have 22 hours feeling sick until the next time! I also had some days when I was braver than others! This seemed to be partly due to the weather, it's easier to be brave when it's dry and sunny than wet and windy/cold. The most importatnt thing is to be safe. Lunge first if possible. If you then only ride for a few minutes but don't have a battle then leave it at that for the day. Have you got someone who could cycle or walk with you out on hacks? My OH isn't horsy, but was happy to bike with me, which gave me confidence and moral support. Always make sure someone knows where you are and when you will be back. Once your confidence is lost it is very difficult to get it back, particularly on the same horse. I eventually sold my mare and bought a lovely gelding with a fab temperament. Funnily enough, I never fell off the mare in a year of her p...ing me about, and came off him after a week when he shied at some deer. Sod's law!
 
Hi there, I am going through the same thing only mine is an eleven year old that thinks he's a four year old. I got him last October and although he was really calm when I tried him out he'd been kept out 24/7 and had no hard feed. I have him partially stabled and give him hard feed to get some vitamins in him. Clearly started to he feel as good as he looked. He bucked coming back into the yard after our first hack out last November just as I was leaning forward to pat him and I went out the side door. Wasn't a bad fall but unfortunately my knee was split to the bone by connecting with probably the only sharp stone on the yard, cut through my jeans ! I couldn't bend my knee for weeks and by the time I got back on I realised it had become a major issue for me. My heart was pounding and I was so tense. He bucked twice and I got right back off. Its been a long battle since then and I can't understand it except that I'm twenty years older than when I had my first nutty TB who threw everything at me but I didn't care back then. I've had loads of falls over the years but never actually hurt myself so now I have this really negative association. I had his saddle changed and got a pro in to get him going again. I now have a very good trainer and he's coming along well although still prone to having a hissy fit. He flexes his neck and comes behind the bit, arches up and comes up off the ground, although not by much. It feels worse than it looks. My first pro suggested extra tack to fasten him in but now I ride with a very mild bit, no martingale and I'm getting a new saddle as it turns out the current one is the wrong fit ! Its a long slog once your confidence has gone but a couple of months ago we managed our first mini hunter trial. He messed around and bucked when we were warming up and I nearly got off in tears but I remembered my instructors words and didn't give him anything to fight against. After a few minutes he settled, bucked after the first couple of jumps but then got on with it and we went around clear. Would never have thought that a little tiny course could have felt like such an achievement. On Saturday I took him up the fields on my own down a stoney lane, the first time I've gone that way on my own since before the fall. I'm rambling but I guess I'm trying to say that its just perseverence and small steps that will get your confidence back, with the help of a good and sympathetic trainer your horse's behaviour will improve. My boy had teeth and back problems but some of it is he's quite spooky and quite naughty. The education work is improving that for him so I'm hopeful that I will eventually start to trust him and not think that I'm going to fall off every time he starts to be a prat. He wasn't broken until he was 7 so in some ways he is still a youngster. Hang in there !!
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