Lost my nerve.

nofie

nofie

Well-Known Member
Joined
5 December 2009
Messages
193
Visit site
Yesterday I had the most lovely ride.

Today I had a fall (different horse), and it's made me question everything and even consider giving up riding.
 
How long have you been riding for? Is there anyway you can get on a horse that you are used to and enjoy riding so you can go out for a hack or have a lesson on? It might help your confidence.
 
Oh nofie, I'm so sorry you feel this way. Is this your first fall? What happened or would you rather not talk about it? If you described your other ride as being lovely I think it would be a shame for you to give it up. I agree with jobo, could you not ride the other horse to get your confidence back up again.
Big hugs ellie x
 
keep going. nobody likes to fall- we all do it and its never good but just keep in mind your ride yesterday- what was good about it? how did you feel afterwards?
 
I've been riding for 15 years, had plenty of falls, but the one today just made me feel like i'm crap and don't belong in the horsey world.

Yesterday I was on a lovely six year old who is very green but has a fantastic temperemant. We went out on the forest for a couple of hours and both really enjoyed ourselves, I really felt like we trusted and looked after each other.

Today I rode an 18 year old ex showjumper. The owner said she would be fine, perfectly safe, but forward going. He asked whether I had my phone with me before I left. She was fine to start with but after our first gentle canter she became quite strong so I tried to calm her down with some walking and troting transitions. She tripped quite badly and tipped me off. Then legged it so I had to walk for ages to find her. I just felt so stupid because it was something so small and if I was a better rider I would have stayed on. It also made me question whether I can even control a horse if they aren't laid back.

When I finally found her and took her back to the yard, she became nasty and wouldn't let me put her rugs back on. I don't know why but it's just really upset me and I think I'm still in shock.

A similar thing happened a couple of years ago with the same owner but a different horse. I really damaged my leg and it put me off for a while until I started riding a 14hh pony. Now that's gone elsewhere so I've returned to the original place.
 
I hate it when they trip, would much rather they bucked or reared!! I think it is frightening because the horse has lost control of its legs, even if just for a few seconds, and you don't know whether they are going to go right over or correct themselves quickly. I've usually managed to stay on if it is just a single leg trip but when both fronts go I tend to shoot over the shoulders, even whilst I'm thinking 'sit back sit back!!!'

I always feel better if I can find a casue, such as if the feet need trimming. My confidence takes a pounding if the horse falls right over and on to its side. I absolutely hate that and it takes a long while for my confidence to build up, even if I haven't been particularly squished.

The best prevntion is, of course, to ride forward. A few trips certainly improves ones ability to ride forward
smile.gif
)
 
It was quite a big trip, she did almost go over to the right but managed to stop herself in time. But unfortunately I didn't. She has just had her feet done. I'm not sure if it was because she wasn't really thinking about where she was going, because she wanted to tank off.
 
I think you're being very hard on yourself nofie, even olympic level riders fall off. Also sounds like a fluke accident with her tripping, these things can happen when out hacking. She may have been aggressive to you after as she could sense you were still full of adrenaline-from your fall.
 
Oh dear, its never nice hitting the deck! Is something in your head saying that you feel you should have stayed in the saddle? If this is the case, great! It means you feel a bit unsafe in your seat and balance and that is fixable. Ask a trainer to look at you ride and tell you where the problem is. Then work to fix it. Lessons, lunge lessons, pilates, fitness, no stirrup work. Don't give up a hobby you love, just improve your seat. Simples!
 
I am really sorry to hear about your loss of nerve. Do you know what .... it shows you are completely normal!
I had a nasty fall as a result of a trip. Jake was being as good as gold as we cantered along a bridleway but he tripped and did a complete forward roll, rolling over me. I hurt my leg but somehow it didn't put me off. Then about a year later, my horse had a really spooky day and, although I didn't fall, it frightened me. I didn't feel in control on the road which was really scary. I really felt I had lost my nerve - I would make excuses not to ride.
I really had to think what I WAS actually comfortable doing with my horse and work on doing LOADS of that just to get my confidence back. I put things in order of scariness - from least scary to most scary.
I started with, number 1, handling my horse (he is SO gentle) - I knew I was ok with that, I wasn't nervous at all. Number 2 was riding in the field/school. I knew I could walk and trot in the field and school fairly confidently.
Number 3 was hacking in company (horse is less spooky). I wasn't keen to do Number 3 so spent a lot of time doing number 1 and number 2 (sorry for the innuendo!).
But eventually I felt confident to give hacking out a go again.
It is now about 4 years since then, I am SO glad I didn't give up riding. I have even competed in little dressage competitions.
I think what I am saying is, find out what you are comfortable with - stick with that and do LOADS of it without putting ANY pressure on yourself to progress any further.
Without the pressure, you WILL make progress. Don't just give up now - give yourself a chance!
 
Thanks so much for all of your advice. I think the problem is I don't always have a lot of choice over the horse that I ride, as I have a sort of 'deal' with the local riding centre where I can use a horse, sort of on a loan basis, but it isn't necessarily the same one.

Sometimes I wish I would just bite the bullet and get my own, so I could build up a bond. But then again it's always good to ride different horses. At the moment I just feel scared at the prospect of riding big, unfamiliar horses.
 
Loads of sympathy. Have you considered finding a horse share? cheaper and less tie commitment than owning but you can build up a relationship.
 
I think that's a very good idea. That's originally what I was offered, but then the stables decided they needed the horse more often. Will have a ponder over the next few days. I suppose really I need to get back on asap so things are easier.
 
Hi,

I wouldn't worry about thinking your not suited for the horse world. I alway think there is a horse out there for everyone!!

We all fall off, me alot more than others. I am sure if you knew what I got up to with my mare you would feel much better about yourself and ready to have a go at badminton... lol

But surely with the money you spend on going out for hacks, you could get a loan or something and then ride and build up for trust with one horse. If you have been riding 15years that's great, but maybe it's time to progress with the one horse. Yes riding all sorts of horses is fantastic, but also riding one horse has it's benefits too. Another thing to add, it's quite a big deal riding out byyourself on new horses. So that's no mean feat there. Well done. Good luck if you decide to find something all for yourself.xx
 
To be honest, and without wishing to put you down, it doesnt sound like losing your nerve, it sounds like the sort of blip LOADS of riders go through after a fall. I've had two completely unsuitable horses, and had crashing falls at high speed from both of them...I am the most nervous nellie you can imagine now! Fortunately my horse now is a lovely sensible girl, and even when she has "silly moments" I don't feel anxious or out of control. She doesnt do tanking off at high speed either, because that would be too much like wasting energy! The right horse for you is out there, you just have to keep looking.

I know its difficult when you don't really have any say over which horse you ride, but maybe you could pay for a lesson or two, on a reliable horse, just to build up your confidence again.

You might also think about looking for a private share, rather than through a riding school, as you are more likely to find a sensible horse that way.
 
Thanks guys, that's fantastic advice. At the moment I'm filling a gap while I decide whether to take the plunge and get my own, but unfortunately I don't seem to be able to say no. On reflection, it was a disaster waiting to happen. The guy told me to come after 1pm, which I did, but the horse I was supposed to ride had only just got back from a hack (running very late!) so he said I would have to ride this different horse. I was a bit unsure as owner had fallen badly from this horse a few years ago, and she is powerful, but he assured me she was perfectly safe, just forward going and would be no problem for me. However, he did make sure I had my mobile with me! I should have said no, I'd come back another time but I just assumed he knew her better than I did.

I think I will be able to get back on the original horse, no problem, but it's just made me think that I am not as good a rider for not being adaptable. I know I am being silly, just feel embarrased to admit I was out-horsed!
 
Sympathy by the bucket full here! Exactly the same thing has happened to me.

I have spent 6 years persisting with a damaged, really unrideable horse. He has gone supernova more times than I care to mention. Blood has been spilled (mine), 3 riding hats written off - you name it.

So why then when he innocently tripped when schooling in the field and I fell off and got concussed did it rattle the hell out of me?

Quite simply because I judged I should have stayed on. I can accept the fluke fall - but this was different.

Now all my friends say I am being to hard on myself and it was just one of those things. But I think it is something else, I am not afraid of the horse, I am not afraid of riding, it is my confidence in myself that has taken the hit and I don't much like it
mad.gif


I puzzled over this until I watched a programme about rodeo bull riders, they were put on horses (some had never ridden before) and lunged, walk, trot and canter straight away and they just sat there! and even went on to jump.

It was a eureka moment for me, core balance! Somehow over the last couple of years the core of my riding has become a bit sloppy. Horsey has calmed down a bit and I am not tested on a daily basis to the extent I was.

This is the first time in 35 years of riding I have experienced a loss of confidence and frankly I am not putting up with it! OH has given me some lunge lessons at Talland so I am off to have my riding taken apart! If that doesn't work, I'm off to join the rodeo!

Reading your later replies, it does sound like the horse was quite difficult anyway. I used to go to a riding centre to go beach riding once a month (own horse far too dangerous to ride on the beach
tongue.gif
) and I ended up being given all the tricky ones. I got rather fed up with it in the end!

 
Balance does seem to be the root of the fall I think! I think it may well be a case of getting sloppy and relaxed, although I think yesterday I was tense rather than anything.

I think I will just have to be clear about the horses I am happy to ride, and accept that difficult horses perhaps aren't for me. And perhaps have a few lessons, lunge lessons are a fantastic idea.

I suppose I have come to the realisation that I won;'t be chucking it all in just yet!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top