Making the Decision to Give Up Horses

KitKat9248

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This is my first ever post! Pretty scary and sorry if I have done anything wrong. I’ve been a serial lurker on the forum for many years now and wanted to start by saying thank you to you all, I hope you all know how much reading your advice, comments and general chit chat help, even a lurker!

My first post is a bit of a sad one really and I’m not sure what I’m hoping to get from publishing, but I do think just writing things down sometimes can help, so here goes. I would suggest having a G&T ready for anyone who makes it to the end of my ramble.

Since the beginning of the year I’ve been slowly falling out of love with horses, I’ve had two Shetlands (I know I’m officially odd) for several years and I took in a 16hh palomino to join them who was left with a friend as a livery debt, last year. After years of sharing owning my own had been a life-long dream and I had every intention of bringing him on to be my happy hack, but it just hasn’t happened. He’s been a joy to have around and is sweet and caring, but I haven’t done anything with him other than a small amount of ground work. I keep saying I haven’t got the time, which I am tight on, but I also don’t seem to have the motivation to find the time or send him away to achieve this.

To begin with I told myself that I was just feeling the normal winter blues, (despite this year not being too bad) but it’s a feeling which has continued through the spring and has seemingly magnified. I’m coming to the realisation that it might be time to take a break.

I’m working full time in quite a full on role, have a partner who works away a lot and two dogs to keep me busy. I’m also at a stage in my life (29) where I want to be spending time with my friends before they all start to settle down and that becomes harder. Having the money which currently goes on the horses would also be welcome, and could go towards things which currently feel so out of reach, like our wedding or purchasing land. I used to spend hours upon hours at the yard, but I find myself now just going to do what is needed and having a little cuddle, they are still very much loved and cared for, but I don’t seem to be filling all my time with them if that makes any sense at all.

They are an expensive and consuming hobby to no longer be getting the same enjoyment from and these thoughts have brought me to the realisation that it might be time to call it a day. I say to myself I can always go back, when friends get busy with their families and we have achieved a few of our other goals. I currently ride at a wonderful RS so I know I would still be able to get a horsey fix, without the commitment and worry.

The decision is feeling harder as one of the Shetlands has a couple of physical problems, which whilst manageable I wouldn’t want to pass this over so I would be looking to have him PTS, which I know might cause a few different reactions, but I believe is the only way to guarantee his future. And my Palomino I’m really conflicted on what to do, I would be selling him from the field, as I have done no ridden work with him and prior to that I have no knowledge of him having done anything! I guess I’m just worried about selling him this way, I want him to have a good home. In my head I am thinking to advertise him this way and if I don’t find the right home perhaps I should consider the more difficult decision.

I’ve been agonising over this since the beginning of the year, but I feel I am finally coming to terms with it, I’ve been determined to not rush into any decision, which I think after six months of considering I haven’t. It’s a really difficult decision but I think I’ve now decided.

This is even longer than I thought it would be, so if you have made it to the end, thank you and make that G&T a double! Sorry for the long post and for pouring my heart out. I know that no one can say whether you’re doing the right thing or not, but putting this all down has helped.

xoxo
 

showjumpingharry

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This is something I've done recently. I haven't given up horses, I've just changed how I'm involved with them. I gave up my loan pony who was fabulous but I just didn't enjoy it anymore. I now ride one of my instructors horses and have a friends youngster to ride and compete. We still have my sisters horse and I'm involved with him. I struggled to start with but now I quite like not being as involved (I'm actually doing more than before lol!), I have more time and money but I'm still involved and I enjoy it more. So maybe don't give up totally but carry on being involved. If your circumstances and feelings towards horse ownership change in the future, then you could reconsider it, but if you want or need a break then do it xx
 

be positive

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It is an expensive hobby and having 3 that require time, effort and money put in with little coming back is enough to make many people think about giving up, if I were in this situation I would probably cut back by finding homes for the shetlands, pts if that is the kindest option, then see if having just the one horse that you may be able to ride is doable.
I would then either find somewhere to send him to be assessed, ridden on if suitable, for a few weeks and then make a decision as to whether he was going to stay as my horse to enjoy and ride or sell on knowing I had given him the best chance of a useful future and a good home, if you kept him I think you might be able to get a sharer to help with the work and finances if he was a good ride opening your options further.
Selling an unknown quantity from the field is a bit risky for many reasons and not one I would be really happy to do without trying to get him going, if he proves too tricky then pts would not be unfair as it will secure his future but I would want to give him a chance first.
 

HEM

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I completely understand how you are feeling, I did the same when I was a young teenager started to get a social life and realised horses where not my top priority so I gave them up. I think sometimes you need a break from it to find your passion and love again.

As for what you should do with your equine friends, only you can decide that! I don't think anyone would blame you for choosing to PTS your Shetland, you are not choosing this decision lightly and not choosing it in vain. And with your palomino what about loaning him? Either as a companion or as a project, would mean that you would be able to ensure his new home is looking after him well?
 

KitKat9248

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Thank you all so much for taking the time to read and for the considerate responses I really appreciate it!

I can assure you all it's not a decision I am taking lightly. I've seen so many poor sad Shetlands at sales or with the meat man who've had such an awful time of life and I couldn't live knowing that could of happened with one of mine, with him having the physical issues he does I can only imagine this is a more likely fate, he's been such a legend for me and I really need to do what's right for him! The other one has done well with in hand showing and is young and fit so have a lot less worries in her finding a suitable home!

I did consider putting the palomino out on Loan but was worried that if that failed I would be in a position of having to find a way to have him back having given up all my facilities! I will look into the options for sending him away for someone to start him, as you say I think this gives him a much better chance of finding a good home.

Thank you for the responses, it really means a lot!
 

Orangehorse

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You are being sensible, you can always go back to horses in the future if you want to. Generally I agree with the others regarding the Shetland and also think that it would be better to try and put some work into the palomino, because if he is sold from the field then you are not going to get much money at all. If he has a bit of assessment then at least you can think of what sort of home he could go to.
Good luck and enjoy.
 

Pearlsasinger

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Would the RS be able to help you out with getting the Palomino going? Would they take him on loan instead of a 'working livery'. I wonder if the Rs would take the older shetland as a companion/pony days/lead-rein pony. That is where I would start to have discussions, tbh.
 

HEM

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Would the RS be able to help you out with getting the Palomino going? Would they take him on loan instead of a 'working livery'. I wonder if the Rs would take the older shetland as a companion/pony days/lead-rein pony. That is where I would start to have discussions, tbh.

This is a good idea!
 

KitKat9248

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Would the RS be able to help you out with getting the Palomino going? Would they take him on loan instead of a 'working livery'. I wonder if the Rs would take the older shetland as a companion/pony days/lead-rein pony. That is where I would start to have discussions, tbh.


Thank you so much, that's a great idea which hadn't even crossed my mind :) I'll speak to them!
 

Summit

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I have had horses all my life then about 12 years ago I felt a bit like you....I kept thinking what my money could go on, had a full time job, two dogs etc etc and just felt as if there were other things I wanted to do (I was in my 30’s). So I made the decision to sell my horse....I then had absolutely nothing to do with horses, didn’t go riding, didn’t go anywhere near horses. Never regretted the decision and just got on with my life and freedom.

then last year I decided that owning horses is a love you never lose and went and bought the horse I have now and I’m loving it as if I was a child again :)

Maybe you just need that break, do what you need to do and have a life! Who knows, it just might change again in the future ;)
 
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