Marraige proposal accepted (contract negotiations have begun)

[traineegroom]

After 9 years I finally plucked up the courage to propose to my lovely, horse obsessed, soon to be wife.

Before we met I knew what a horse looked like, but that was about it.

Over the last few years I have become very comfortable around our horses, and help out a bit with the little jobs that go along with them.

poo picking
driving horse lorry
mucking out
fixing horse lorry
feeding
taking photos at events
mixing G&T's
carrying rugs
picking out hooves
general building/carpentry/plumbing/electrical work around the stables.
being mugged by said nags for treats every time they see me
going to buy horse food/hay/straw

and probably one or two other jobs.
It helps her out and the horses have developed a mild tolerance of having me around and a passive 'Meh' when I go and get them from the field.

I imagine the dogs feel a similar way about me also.

Soo the other day she happened to mention that "I cant marry someone who cant ride a horse at all paces over rough terrain"

I suspect it was a bit tongue in cheek, but I have learned to put reason, sanity and logic aside when it comes to her and horses.

Her "Ow ,my back is sore today"

me: "Maybe don't go galloping today then?"

Her: "Don't be ridiculous, BYEEEE!!!" (skips out the door, saddle in hand)

I also suspect hers and my definition of the word groom differ slightly.

On a side note. When she was waiting for tickets for WEG to go live a few years ago it was like watching a heroin addict waiting for the methadone clinic to open.


Anyway.

I need lessons, like a lot of lessons.
I work near Oxford during the week.

Does anyone know any miracle workers, sorry, riding instructors or schools I could go to?

The wedding is in June, how screwed am I?

Sorry if this in the wrong forum.

 

[Peregrine Falcon]

Hello and welcome. I have no advice on miracle workers I'm afraid. My long suffering hubby had nothing to do with horses/ponies before he met me. He's still fairly useless at the DIY work but knows how to poo pick, lead, change rugs, feed (as long as all the details are written down or son helps). He has never ridden and to be honest I don't think he ever will. He has shown in-hand for me though so that'll do.

He has no grounds on which to complain about how many ponies we have as he gave me money to buy a mare and foal. I can't help it if the herd has expanded over the years!!!

If you are determined then I think you could master at least trot & canter by June.

 

[Starzaan]

Get yourself to Talland!

 

[chestnut cob]

Congratulations!

Unless you have a burning desire to learn to ride, or you need to because of something you're planning for the wedding, then I wouldn't bother TBH! My OH has never sat on a horse in the nearly 5 years we've been together, and he's only ever seen mine about 8 times. He has zero interest in it besides making sure I'm safe and listening to me either moaning or gushing about it. It's certainly never been a condition of our relationship that he be interested in horses!

 

[Alec Swan]

OH Dear, by the sounds of things, another good man lost to a cause!

Probably of little help, but a few years ago my HHO Sig read; In the unlikely event that I go to a heaven, I'd like to end up in one where there are either girls or horses, but not both. I have a considerable fondness for both but have decided that they're best kept as parallel interests.

Good Luck!!

Alec.

 

[chillipup]

Welcome to the forum Traineegroom and congratulations on your forth coming wedding

Your post certainly gave me quite a chuckle and although I have no knowledge of riding centres near you, my only advice would be to spend as much time in the saddle as possible, an hour lesson once a week is not going to cut it I'm afraid.

I'm sure there must be places out there who would be prepared to offer intensive riding courses. This would, no doubt come at a price and be rather dependent on your body being able to withstand such an assault. Good luck

 

[KittenInTheTree]

I'd say there's no hope of your learning to ride properly by this June, but don't worry. To judge by your list, you already do all of the things that are useful. Focus on perfecting the G&T, obviously - that's a valuable life skill. Anyhow, agree that if necessary you can be tied to a saddle for the duration of the day's ride, and there shall be no need to worry about your learning to ride. Your wife to be can then invest the money that would have gone on that into other horse related costs. If she opts to spend it on the wedding instead, she's clearly unwell and will require an emergency respite trip to the nearest tack and/or feed shop!

 

[Archangel]

Soo the other day she happened to mention that "I cant marry someone who cant ride a horse at all paces over rough terrain"

That is an odd comment even for a horse person and a bit diva-ish - are you sure you have made the right choice for a life partner?

The wedding is in June, how screwed am I?

Getting married = getting screwed (for the rest of life).

Abandon all hope.

 

[Shady]

What a fantastic first post and welcome to the forum , no idea at all about riding lessons but just wanted to say that if your wife to be defects at the alter coz you're rubbish on a horse come back on here and advertise yourself to a good home, trust me you'll be spoilt for choice! i'd definitely ditch my OH for you, don't even care what you look like

 

[GoodLineNotSquare]

Congratulations! Also, since you're already doing all the hard work associated with having a horse, you may as well share in the rewards and sit on one.

For what it's worth, my fall into riding was caused by Mrs GLNS casually suggesting that I could just have a couple of lessons at her yard so we could go on a guided ride together on holiday. Four years later, we have four horses, are working up the steep steep learning curve of having horses on the premises, and I'm wondering where all my time and money have gone. Never did go on that holiday.

Which doesn't answer your question other than to say, good luck...!

 

[Red-1]

In that amount of time if you wish to impress, you could learn enough to have a video taken of you cantering a schoolmaster type up a grassy field, video to be played at the wedding as a surprise. Probably in slow motion, so as to make it look faster than it was! For even that though it would mean several lessons a week. That would most likely have to be at a training yard on private lessons, rather than group lessons at a riding school. This would cost a fair bit.

In all honesty I think it will have been tongue in cheek, the amount you do already sounds FAB.

My OH had his first ride on our honeymoon. Much better than risking a broken leg before the big day (IMO). In fact he liked it so much that he did then have lessons at a yard that was a riding school, but also had some SJ type horses. He had private lessons, and was soon cantering in the school. Took a lot longer and his own horse before he was riding in all gaits over rough terrain or whatever it was you feel challenged to do!

Good luck!

 

[ycbm]

That is an odd comment even for a horse person and a bit diva-ish

Either that or it was serious innuendo!


OP, I have known brave blokes who have natural sportsman's balance learn to walk and canter (stood up) in a week. Trot is the most difficult to master. Can you possibly take a few days off by yourself somewhere and find the kind of gung ho riding school (or trekking centre might be better), who will teach you by taking you out on hacks? There is one near me but we are too far from you. You'd easily find one in Ireland. Does your OH have a friend and suitable horse who would enjoy the joke and the challenge?

 

[ycbm]

In that amount of time if you wish to impress, you could learn enough to have a video taken of you cantering a schoolmaster type up a grassy field, video to be played at the wedding as a surprise.!

Accompanied by the music from Black Beauty, FAB!!!

 

[teapot]

Get yourself to Talland!

Seconded.

Welcome to the forum too.

 

[traineegroom]

Hi Guys,

Thanks for the welcomes and some interesting responses!!

I forgot to add:

'Making tea for farrier' and 'plaiting' to the list.

Learning how to plait by practicing on a Shetland with attitude was an interesting experience. More work required in this area.


Thankfully horses are not involved on the wedding day. The video is a good idea. probably end up being like a 'You've been framed' clip though :/

It would be nice to go on a riding holiday with my wife to be at some stage, so the main drive behind learning was so we could look into this. We have gone on a couple of these before but when she was out on horseback i was off skiing or scuba diving. So it would be cool if we could go riding together.


i hope to start some mid week lessons in the next couple of weeks. I'll report back.

 

[Shady]

Please do report back OP, all joking aside, it's a lovely thing to do together, my OH couldn't ride at all but when we rescued a big Spanish gelding as a companion to my horse, he took one look at him and that was that, smitten and in the saddle as soon as possible, he was a motocross rider for years and had great balance, didn't take him long at all really to learn the basics, then we hacked out together as much as possible in between lessons, his horse was amazing , which helped a lot, 5 years later and he thinks he is bloody Zoro! the rest of the time he looks like Wyatt Earp, complete with the hat and 2 pistols, i kid you not, i have a very interesting life

 

[PaddyMonty]

Word of warning. If you are planning to learn to ride in secret you had better think up some good excuses for the aches and pains you will have. Lack of performance in the bedroom department may take some explaining if she doesn't know about the riding.

 

[Alec Swan]

…. . Lack of performance in the bedroom department may take some explaining if she doesn't know about the riding.

From my youth and from memory, aches and pains disappear, as if by magic.

Alec.