Mini rant - Sharing a horse with my daughter

[Mellymoo1]

Warning - rant alert!!

Just got off the phone to my 12 year old daughter who very occasionally comes to the yard (maybe twice a week), spends most of the time rolling her eyes if I ask her to fill water buckets, do feeds etc. I wanted to ride Brads tonight but my daughter has informed me that I am being mean for wanting him to myself tonight!

I must sound a really bad mum, but I can't think of anything worse than leading her round the school 100 times tonight, just wanted a nice quiet hack to chill out and be with my horse!!

I'm the one whos up at 6am every morning mucking out and doing all the dirty work, and I dont get much time to ride him really. Grrrrr - so cross!!

RANT OVER - I feel a bit better now...

 

[vicster]

Awww bless - that's the only thing about sharing. Maybe it will be peeing down with rain and she then might change her mind

GOOD LUCK x

 

[ihatework]

Tell her thats fine but she is expected to clean tack and muck out / poo pick afterwards

 

[SillyMare]

Learning that her actions have consequences is all part of growing up. If she isn't prepared to put in the commitment she can't expect to have access to the horse any time she fancies it. At 12 she is old enough to understand that.

Don't feel guilty, go out on a lovely long hack and enjoy every minute.

 

[vicm2509]

When I was 15 my mum and dad bought me and my sister a horse to share. It was me that spent all my free time down there cleaning, feeding, grooming etc. So when she turned up for a ride I would insist she mucked out FIRST. We had him 2 years and I have to say I think she only rode him about 5 times!

She learnt her lesson though, im now 23 and have just bought another horse, she came down the other week to see him and asked if she could groom him and if I needed any help mucking out! I took her up on the offer and let her have a nice ride afterwards

 

[ruscara]

Do not give in to her! I actually bought my horse for my daughter, and now find myself paying for him, going to care for him every day; and if she does come, she will ride, and complain if she has to do anything else. Yes, I should sell him, but we have had him eight years and I am too fond of him to do that.
Your daughter must learn that with horse ownership comes commitment, responsibility and hard work. I failed to teach my daughter that, much to my regret.

 

[SirenaXVI]

Don't get cross - insist that if she wants to ride then she must do her fair share of the chores, you will be teaching her a valuable life lesson

 

[Snowberry]

I wouldnt let her ride!!! LOL

I am a really mean mummy though, my middle daughter is 11 and since she was 5yrs old she's done everything. Mucking out, poo picking, cleaning tack etc... then she can ride!!!
She now does it automatically - cleans up first and then rides!!

 

[Dovorian]

Make a rule - every 15 minutes in the saddle costs 30 minutes work! That's a bargain as I would estimate it is mpore like 15/45!!

 

[Kelly1982]

At 12yo i was getting the bus down the yard after school and doing all my jobs MYSELF!!! If i wanted to do a show at the weekend then i had to work down the yard doing other peoples horses or sweeping the yard to be able to pay for it myself!!!

I have paid for EVERYTHING since the age of 16yo with no help from my parents unless it was the last resort.

This really taught me responsibility and commitment as everything i own now i have worked hard for to look after and keep.

If she was my daughter then the least i would ask of her is to help me with the jobs before she rides. Dont give in, he is your horse and you work hard to enjoy him and if she wants to enjoy him to then she should work just as hard IMO!!!!!!

 

[FMM]

Sorry - agree with Kelly. At 11 I was doing the horse completely by myself on a diy livery yard. My parents gave me a lift down and picked me up, but that was it. Your horse, you do the work, she can damn well sit and watch or stay at home!!!

 

[flyingfeet]

Get her an evil 13.2hh on loan - soon sort the problem out

 

[MagicMelon]

Tell her since you do 99% of the work, YOU will choose when SHE rides! If she wants to ride more, then she'll have to do some more damn work!

 

[Mellymoo1]

Thanks for all your advice guys!

You're all right, at the age of 10 I was working hard mucking out just for the mere chance I could have a 10 minute ride on someones pony! I used to walk for miles to get to various stables. I just don't think my daughter wants a horse that much. She loves Brads but doesn't like the work that goes with it!

The upshot of last night was that my OH had words with her and I went to the yard by myself and rode. When I got home, they had both been cleaning the house and dinner was on the table!!

 

[FMM]

Now that is what I call a result!!!

 

[Mellymoo1]

I know!! Was shocked when I came home to a sparkling house. OH seems to explain things to her better than me, she was pretty cheerful when I came in, even though she'd been cleaning for ages!

 

[Sparklet]

See she is a lovely girl after all - they all lose their way occasionally and need a sharp reminder.