Mini Shetland advice please (long one, I'm afraid)

[Shoreditch]

Hello,

I am desperately in need of some advice. I have two horses on livery. My mother has/had a mini Shetland mare who she has kept as a pet for over a decade. Mother is non-horsey generally but acquired pony as a rescue and has adored caring for her. Up until last yr she kept her in a little field behind a nursing home with another mini who belonged to said home.

The pony belonging to the nursing home was PTS and my mum's pony was kept alone (not ideal) while mum started looking for a companion. During this time my mum was diagnosed with cancer and begun treatment. Pony was moved to my livery yard so I could care for her while mum was sick. Unfortunately treatment hasn't been successful and we are now looking at more treatment, surgery and then more treatment (if all goes to plan) so a long road ahead of us.

Pony is still on livery with me, however my yard is individual turnout and pony is clearly miserable. She loves attention and fuss, is the sweetest natured pony in the world and it's breaking my heart to see her so sad. She needs friends (both equine and human).

Due to helping to care for my mum, work, OH and my own horses I don't have the time for her. I can't afford to put her on a retirement livery/grass livery (my yard are being very kind and allowing me to keep her for a nominal sum) and I just don't know what to do. I couldn't have her PTS as she is a healthy pony who my mum adores but I am struggling to think of what to do to give her what she needs.

For those who got to the end, thank you and any ideas or advice would be greatly appreciated.

 

[HappyHollyDays]

How old is the pony? If she can be ridden and is gentle with children could you find a mini person to share her so you can keep an eye on her day to day welfare. If she had human contact single turnout might not be such an issue. It would also help with the cost. Edit to add as she is small could she go out with one of yours?

 

[Bonnie Allie]

Same but different..............our Shetland who was our children’s first pony is retired at home with us age 28years. When our children out grew her she was loaned to a special family to bring on three new small children as riders.

She came home to us age 23, to be housed with our other horses in luxury. However, she was not happy. Stopped eating, stood looking sad in the paddock. Vet called and turns out nothing wrong with her, he thinks she is missing engagement with small children.

Tested this by inviting small children over to brush her (and dress her up as a unicorn). She changed instantly. It was the company and fuss of small children she was missing. Back with us her life had no purpose as our children were now in their late teens.

We pay a couple of little girls to come and brush/fuss over her a couple of times of week. No riding as she is retired but the girls and the Shetland are happy.

Could-you find a couple of little girls to fuss over her?

 

[Ownedby4horses]

Can she be loaned out locally as a companion? I have minis but sadly I am very far away, otherwise I would have offered to have had her for the cost of her hay, bedding etc to help you out.

Are you able to give a rough idea of your location (county is sufficient) and perhaps someone on here could be a match that is looking for a nice companion.

You’re doing amazing by the way and I’m sure someone can help, you have so much to think about and help your mum get better. x

 

[Shoreditch]

How old is the pony? If she can be ridden and is gentle with children could you find a mini person to share her so you can keep an eye on her day to day welfare. If she had human contact single turnout might not be such an issue. It would also help with the cost. Edit to add as she is small could she go out with one of yours?

Thanks so much for your response. She is in her 20s and was never broken and I don't think she would suit any type or work. She has only ever been kept as a pet and, at her age, think it would be unfair to ask anything more of her. We are not allowed to put horses in together, despite the size, my two are also pretty sharp and I worry she could get hurt. Finding someone who might want to give her so attention may be an option, I just think she needs another little friend for companionship.

 

[Shoreditch]

Can she be loaned out locally as a companion? I have minis but sadly I am very far away, otherwise I would have offered to have had her for the cost of her hay, bedding etc to help you out.

Are you able to give a rough idea of your location (county is sufficient) and perhaps someone on here could be a match that is looking for a nice companion.

You’re doing amazing by the way and I’m sure someone can help, you have so much to think about and help your mum get better. x

Thank you for your kindness. I appreciate it - in all honesty I am struggling with trying to keep on top of everything. As I said in a previous response, she has never been "useful" came to my mum as a bit of a rescue and can be nervous so not an ideal pony for children. She loves adults who are calm and will give her a fuss and cuddle but don't think she would cope well with children. I just feel so guilty, as she went from living with a friend, going for daily walks with my mum, being groomed and loved to standing alone in a field. I tell myself I will do more with her but time is not on my side what with all my other commitments. I have asked locally if anyone knows of someone in need of a companion but so far it has been fruitless.

 

[Ownedby4horses]

Don’t give up. What about advertising a non paid sharer for her in the first instance? I have come across many people who in the past have wanted to just come and fuss and groom my little ones (retired from riding but love horses types). At least then she will get attention and it takes the pressure off you for now.

 

[Not_so_brave_anymore]

What a horrible situation. Is there any chance at all that you're projecting some "miserableness" on to the pony? Any change of home can be unsettling, she's just lost her long-term companion--it might just take her a while to come out of herself. Individual turnout where she can see other horses all around her is not ideal, but not so awful.

You don't need a massive dose of guilt on top of everything else. Of course be on the lookout for a better solution (maybe a local loan as a companion, or a rescue might even take her given the circumstances) but reassure yourself that she's safe, she's fed, she's fine for the time being x

 

[Equi]

Maybe advertise her for loan ? If she would be ok with another pony/horse she could be useful.

 

[HeyMich]

I would try and find a local-ish loan home for her as a companion pony. That way, you and your Mum can maybe visit and check the pony is happy and healthy, and you don't have to worry about paying livery costs or lack of appropriate company. Ask around on your local FB horsey groups and put adverts up in any local tack/feed shops. Good luck and let us know what you decide.

 

[Kaylum]

If you ask your local horse rescue they often have a list of people looking to foster or rehome sheltand ponies. Just be aware that some people do not know how to look after shetlands so you would need to be very mindful of this.

 

[Schollym]

Have you got a local riding club as they are always good for contacts. Alternatively one of the horse charities who might be able to help in these circumstances.

 

[AmyMay]

Where are you OP? Does anyone here need a companion?

 

[paddi22]

You don't need to be adding more guilt on to the stress you already have. you have SO much going on. once the pony is fed and watered and looked after, then it's not the end of the world if it's by itself for a while. I'd put word out if anyone wanted a loan for her, but if no-one comes forward and she stays where she is for another while, she will still be fine. you have to take care of yourself first, the pony will be fine where it is for a while.

 

[julesjoy]

Where abouts in the country are you OP?

 

[tatty_v]

I’d definitely second the idea of putting her up for loan as a companion pony - I struggled for years with my horse and his separation anxiety, the arrival of our unbroken Shetland has been a total revelation and I wish we’d done it sooner. I’m sorry to hear what you’re going through xx

 

[Shoreditch]

Where are you OP? Does anyone here need a companion?

I am Wiltshire based.

 

[Shoreditch]

You don't need to be adding more guilt on to the stress you already have. you have SO much going on. once the pony is fed and watered and looked after, then it's not the end of the world if it's by itself for a while. I'd put word out if anyone wanted a loan for her, but if no-one comes forward and she stays where she is for another while, she will still be fine. you have to take care of yourself first, the pony will be fine where it is for a while.

Thank you for your kindness. I am definitely struggling with the guilt as well as trying to keep mum going, I just feel like if I can make her pony happy it will give her some peace too. She is worrying about her as much (if not more) than I am and I know if the pony was happy mum would relax a little. Mum was going up to see her regularly until summer when her health started to deteriorate and now she can't really do much and I know pony misses her.

 

[Shoreditch]

Where abouts in the country are you OP?

Wiltshire

 

[Widgeon]

Where are you OP? Does anyone here need a companion?

Yes this was going to be my question. We have a yard Shetland that gets shuffled around as and when another horse needs a companion in the field or to travel with, or if they won't be in alone for the vet etc. He's invaluable.

 

[paddi22]

Thank you for your kindness. I am definitely struggling with the guilt as well as trying to keep mum going, I just feel like if I can make her pony happy it will give her some peace too. She is worrying about her as much (if not more) than I am and I know if the pony was happy mum would relax a little. Mum was going up to see her regularly until summer when her health started to deteriorate and now she can't really do much and I know pony misses her.

I went through similar stresses when my mum had cancer and I was trying to juggle everything, it's so tough. you just feel like you are failing everyone and there's nothing left of you. we had similar issues with a pet when my mum was sick.

the best advice I got from a councillor was 'park it'. and she meant just park issues that aren't really urgent. the pony is fine and fed. your mum only knows what you tell her about it, so when she asks just say its fine and change the conversation to talking about happy times or memories with the pony. it will be a comfort to your mum to relive happier memories.

the best thing you can do is save as much energy and mind space as you can so you can focus on essential stuff, and accept that some stuff is not going to be ideal, but is acceptable for the tough time period you are going through. The time you are spending feeling guilty would be better spent taking care of yourself. you have to pick stuff to just take off your back and park for the time being, this will let you get a bit of energy and space for yourself into your life, which will make you a better care for your mum and all the other stuff.

 

[NLPM]

Have you tried the Wiltshire FB groups? There's Wiltshire Equine Directory and Wiltshire Horse Riders off the top of my head. There's also NFED (its own site, not a FB page) - that's tends to cover Hampshire and close areas, but even if you're the far West/North of Wilts, you can't be that far from Hampshire. Whereabouts in Wiltshire are you? (Message me if you would prefer. I can't promise I can help, but if you're near to me I can try).

 

[Leandy]

Can the pony have turnout with your other horse at the same yard so it has company? I don't see why the yard should object to that as both horses are yours. If not, look for a local loan home for her but please do keep in touch to ensure her welfare.

 

[Translationsneeded1]

I have a mini who is ancient and just a little pottering companion. There’s definitely a use for them. Put an ad on Nfed or fb. Pm me the link if you want and I’ll share with my horsey friends.

 

[Trouper]

It occurred to me that it might be worth looking into the Pets As Therapy world. I don't know of any particular organisation in your area but it sounds like just the sort of job the pony would suit - have seen minis even go into hospitals and hospices so worth a thought?

 

[chaps89]

If the nursing home did have a little pony and have somewhere suitable to keep them, presumably they also had someone who was competent to do the ponies care.
So can your mum's pony not return to the nursing home? Maybe they would get another one?
It sounds like little pony is on her own either way but might prefer the adult interaction of the home residents as she had before?