Yay, a potential poodle owner
I won't have a go at you, I have two miniatures and a toy. None of them are neurotic. All of them are from well socialised, show bred stock.
Personally, I would speak to someone who breeds for show - their dogs will have temperaments to die for. I have been a groomer for 15 years. I have had my poodles for 8 years. I have met many - and I would hands on heart say that the ones that I have met that come from show lines tend to be better tempered. I know there are plenty of great natured pet lines out there, but I haven't met many. They aren't all show dogs, the show bred ones do make excellent pets, agility dogs, some compete in fly ball and agility too.
Every single breeder that I know that breeds for show will first and foremost look at temperament. They will do the relevant genetic health tests, which include PRA, OCD, DM (though DM is probably less likely than the first two). People who breed poodles for show generally do so with the full intention of keeping something from those matings for themselves, and won't want unhealthy ill tempered dogs. The people who breed pet lines often aren't aware of the health tests, and don't really consider the temper of the stud perhaps. It may sound like a sweeping generalisation, but I base my comment on conversations with people who have a pet dog that they want to breed from (and that's not just people with poodles, but all breeds).
Poodles should not look like frail wispy hairy whippets. They should be solid, square, cobby and substantial. This does not necessarily mean like bull dogs with coat. But if you see some of the pet bred ones that stand shivering and raising a front foot and looking as if a mild breeze might blow it over, walk away from that.
Come to a champ show in your area, meet people along the poodle benches.
Poodles are hugely entertaining, very intelligent and lots of energy. They will make their own fun if you don't keep them sufficiently stimulated. They are the masters of manipulation and can often be smarter than their handlers and know how to work that. So do lots of social things with your poodle, training (but avoid endless repetition, they will quickly bore of it) is a must. Do things to keep you both going out and doing stuff. If your poodle just ends up staying around home, he will start acting like those neurotic ones you don't like
Friends of mine that have Minarets breeding (I have a Minarets as well) all compare notes on the antics that they get up to . They all tend to be good eaters, very solid dogs, have a penchant for poking things with their nose, or surfing their empty food bowls in protest. My girl has an engineering degree (LOL) and likes to tie knots in ropes and undo wing nuts with her feet. Her brother will reach out of his crate and pull things in with his toes, very raccoon like. They are all ball obsessive.