Moral dilemma

Munchkin

Munchkin

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Interested to hear your thoughts.

I was contacted a couple of months ago by a lady I haven't seen in about 13 years, basically to ask if I was still "horsey" and if I'd mind looking after her horses when she was on holiday in July.

A few weeks later she also asked me to look after them for a long weekend, which I did. She has a 33yo TB and a 6yo Welsh sect. C. The pony had recently recovered from its first bout of laminitis.

Pony is the fattest creature I have EVER seen in my LIFE. It's so fat that its neck and its croup meet - there is no back left, and it rolls when it waddles along. It is disgusting. They have two smallish fields which they rotate to make sure there's always plenty of grass for the TB and they will not be separated.

I can sort of understand that, but she also left me with instructions about what to feed them both. The TB has two huge buckets of hard feed a day and only one section of hay overnight... the pony has a round scoop of Happy Hoof twice a day and 2 sections of [very green] hay overnight.

When I looked after them over that weekend I couldn't bring myself to give him so much food. He was still slightly lame and it seemed like handing him a death sentence. Over three days they won't have noticed that I gave him less.

This lady is the kindest person you could ever wish to meet. She currently has her terminally ill mother living with them, her husband has recently been diagnosed with a dangerous heart condition, her eldest daughter has just come out of hospital after extensive surgery and her youngest daughter has just had a baby that is severely brain damaged. She herself has been rushed into hospital with symptoms that the doctors have attributed to stress. Can't say I'm surprised!

I've tried to suggest she feeds the pony less but she says he only got fat because he was eating his straw bed (now on shavings). However, the muckheap is in the field and the TB is still on straw... so he eats it from there anyway.

Pony is on loan from a charity. I don't want to get him taken off them as the TB is very, very clingy and he was loaned as a companion when their previous old horse died... she'd be a state if he left. I feel that this is what would happen should I contact them. That's the first dilemma.

The second dilemma is: do I feed him what I consider to be a "safe" amount during the three weeks they are on holiday, and not tell them? It seems a little pointless if there are no long term changes to his diet, but I cannot justify giving him so much food... he could live off his own reserves for about 14 years!

Under any other circumstances this would be a no-brainer to me but I feel that I cannot put this lady under any more stress. It's the first time they have been able to go away in years and years and it's taken a heck of a lot of organising as you can well imagine.

Interested to hear your views. Please try to refrain from being catty as this is quite difficult for me; if she wasn't in such a position I would be a lot firmer with my views for the sake of the pony.
 
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If you ring the charity and just say your worried about the pony they will come out first of all and try to sort things out really they should be doing home visits anyway every so often to make sure pony is ok and not overweight. This way the charity can offer advice and make sure the women listens to it and pony looses weight. As the lady may listen to them more than she would you.
 
Hmm, a tricky one, but I would probably try to sneakily slim the pony down a bit while she is on holiday... If you're worried about her reaction to left over feed, just chuck it away or something.
How devious am I:eek:
If it wasn't such a serious state of the pony, I would say just do what she wants you to and leave them to it, but with such a high risk for the pony, it's safety and welfare has to come first.
 
I would feed the pony less when house-sitting, try to have another word with her when she gets back from holiday about diet but otherwise leave her be. She sounds like she really has her plate full and although in an ideal world it would be a lot better for the pony to be thin and less at risk of laminitis, this is not an ideal world.
 
Quick note... Make sure the woman contacts her vet and makes sure you have permission to call them and she'll be responsible for the bill!

Have you suggested the pony is grossly overweight? Maybe print off a condition score chart? Could you suggest a grazing muzzle?
 
well before she leaves why dont you mention her pony is over weight and suggest you could help slim it down while shes away (takes some stress off her and helps reduce the risk of lami plus improves the pony's health) tell her what you plan to do (change in diet and poss light excersice??) then if shes ok with it ask for the vets number incase you might need it :) then she has something to look forward to for when she comes back and hopefully she'll notice a change in her pony :D
 
I'd try and slim it down a bit while she is away.

You could say to her before she goes, you are really worried about his weight and the risk of lami. Say you appreciate how much she has on her plate so you would like to try and help her out both while she is away and when she gets back.

Buy the pony a grazing muzzle and suggest she keeps using it when she is back, start soaking his hay and suggest she continues with this etc.

I'd call the charity too and ask that they don't tell her that you did so, explain that you know she is trying her best and that they old horse is reliant upon his companion but that you are worried about his weight and ask them to do a check once she is back.
 
Buy the pony a muzzle and if a success present it to owner on her return with a "look what i found that works - he can't eat the muck heap now, and he's still out all day with TB" cue big smile. I'd also reduce his feed substantially whilst she's away. Its not an easy one - sounds like the owner is in over her head at the mo and unfortunately her kind nature is not doing the poor pony any favours. I'd think anything you did which took the load off the owner would be much appreciated.
 
That was why I suggested speaking to her beforehand.

Wouldn't want to offend and would want to maximise the chances of any changes being continued with. Don't think it is in order to let this pony continue getting fatter. There will be no thanks at all if the pony gets lami.
 
Havent read everyone elses responses but this is what I would do..

I wouldnt call the charity, Id be scared they come and take the pony back, which would cause upset for the nice lady and other horse.

If I was looking after them I would cut down the feed to what I thought was suitable, when they got home I would tell them that I got worried about the pony's weight and didnt want him to get lami while they were away so I have cut down on the amount given. I would then say something like 'I think he looks abit better for it, maybe try feeding him that amount for a few weeks and see how he gets on' depending on how that was recieved I might say something like 'the last thing you need is another bout of lami, more stress and vets bills etc'

Tbh it sounds like the poor lady has so much on that she probably is to stressed and worn out to see what is happening.

Thats my opinion :)
 
Katt said:
I'd call the charity too and ask that they don't tell her that you did so, explain that you know she is trying her best and that they old horse is reliant upon his companion but that you are worried about his weight and ask them to do a check once she is back.
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I agree with Katt here - I think it would make things more difficult for her if she felt that you were in any way pulling her up on her horse care, but she may listen if the charity speak to her. I think this would probably be a sensible approach.

I really don't envy you your position here - good luck with it and let us know how you get on?
 
Thanks so much for all of your replies. I have quite a bit to mull over! I'll definitely do something, I'm just not 100% decided as yet on what and how.

I had considered calling the charity and suggesting they check up on the pony without mentioning that I'd phoned them, but I have visions of them showing up immediately, seeing the pony and removing it. I know that's the worse case scenario but it's what's playing over in my head.

Thanks again, I'll let you know what happens.
 
Buy her a book on laminitis (those piccie guide things) or get those leaflets the feed manufancturers dish out ? Tbh, I would be firm with her now, tell her that the horse will be in terrible pain if she doesn't lose weight, that you're worried, and that you will help her get on the right track.

I know it's hard, but cruel to be kind. sm x
 
If you possibly have the time I would pretty much agree with what JadyyandLadyy said...
Make it an offer to help her and the pony out, maybe show here some leaflets ect on lami to illustrate your concerns.
TBH if the pony has just had lami the vet will have been yes? I would be surprised if they hadn't given her a good talking to if its condition is that bad! (Or maybe the vet did and worse - she has ignored it? :s )
 
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