Moral dilemma

scatty_mare

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Hi. I'm new, in need of advice, opinions and hugs! I'm sorry this is so long - it is a catalogue of events which have happened to my poor horse over the last year - and really, just the background to the dilemma which we are now facing. If anyone gets to the end I will be quite surprised but here goes!

Just over a year ago I (spending other half's money...) bought a 5 year old thoroughbred who had just stopped racing. He did not cost a lot, and was intended half as a bit of a rescue operation (he was in a poor state) and half as a summer project to play with while my eventer was recovering from fractured withers. We were planning to reschool him to do a bit of everything, and find him a lovely riding club home in the autumn, or maybe keep him if he turned out scopey enough to event and my mare did not recover.

So, we spent the first couple of months nursing him back to health, getting him used to being turned out, healing stomach ulcers and generally letting his body recover and giving his mind a chance to learn how to be a horse! During this time, once he had had his back and teeth checked, he was lightly hacked, long reined a bit and did the odd twenty minutes in the school, and he proved to be very quick to learn, eager and willing to please. He has beautiful paces, with unusual elevation and big hock movement for a thoroughbred. I thought he was really special, still do.

Most days he would be soft, supple and very willing to move forward off the leg, and would take on little cross poles boldly and neatly (he had been a flat horse so jumping was very new and fun!) but once in a while he would have a day where he just didn't want to know. When I put my leg on he would brace himself against me and do humpy bucks, swishing his tail - nothing very major - but it was very clear that something hurt. The more work he did, the more frequently this behaviour occurred so it became clear that we needed to fix this pretty quickly if we didn't want him to associate pain with work forever. The vet thought it might already be associated pain from his racing days - he had very bad stomach ulcers and his lack of form in his last races (plus the fact he was sold off so cheap) would indicate that the ulcers were very active while he was still in training. This would be enough by anyone's standards to make him a bit worried about working after that! However, the fact that he was getting WORSE with work and not better put paid to that theory.

I had his back checked again, by a different physio, and this time the physio recommended not riding for a month, but long reining every day to strengthen the muscles over his back. The dreaded 'ks' was mentioned as a possibility, but one of many possible causes and not worth worrying about too much just yet. I followed her advice religiously, but the day I was due to get back on him I found that a nasty devil horse (I know this cannot be true, but really this one is mean - I think he's a bit riggy) had broken into his field and attacked him. His fly rug in tatters and he had kick marks all over his ribs, and a lot of swelling. It being impossible to x-ray the ribs, my vet (who luckily is a close friend or I'd be bankrupt!) recommended 2 months rest. When the two months were nearly up, I got him in from the field one day to find that he had stuck his head in the hedge and got a stick in his eye, ulcerating his cornea. This, also being a very painful and slow-healing injury, required a bit too much box rest and loads of bute - which made the ulcers flair up again. By now we were into October...

He got his treatment for the ulcers which is effective immediately which was great, but in the meantime (do not ask me how when he was on boxrest) he developed the worst mud fever I have EVER seen. I wonder if it was to do with standing for too long and his leg swelling then weeping - sort of like cellulitis - weird it was only in one leg. But REALLY bad in that leg. So he was lame on that, and eventually it took 6 weeks of antibiotics to get rid of it! By now it was Christmas time and then it snowed, and I finally managed to get back going with him in February.

Because of his dire track record of soundness I took it very slowly - long-reining for a few weeks before I got a saddle anywhere near him. He was obviously feeling a lot better in himself because he was not the quiet horse of last summer - but still very sweet, willing and straightforward, just this time a little bit more exuberant! I loved it!

Unfortunately, the humpy 'don't want to do it' behaviour returned, and seemed worse than I remembered it. I had the saddle checked again, physio out again, teeth checked again. He also started to be intermittently lame - on both front legs, taking it in turns. I also noticed that he dishes with his near hind. After the physio had been he was better - but it was only a few weeks before the symptoms returned.

The next step is x-rays of everything and a full work up by the vet. However, this is going to have to wait another 6 months because the devil horse was turned out with him again and this time has kicked him on the stifle, chipped the bone and severely damaged the ligament. He is on boxrest and cross tied for 6 weeks then re-examine.

The prognosis for making a full recovery is 70%, but it will take 6 months before we can even START bringing him back into work and it is only once he is back in work that we can start to investigate his other mystery lamenesses and discomfort.

Realistically, we will not be able to sell him for at least a year, and then really only assuming he recovers from the kick. He will not pass a vetting, but perhaps somebody would like him as a hack. I'm not sure that his nature is very suited to being a hack.

If he recovers 'field sound' then what will he become? He is even sensitive for a thoroughbred (was a Godolphin horse and wintered in Dubai up till last year!), has rubbish feet, very prone to mud fever, needs loads of rugs which all rub him, costs a lot to feed - not really the most desirable companion pony.

Financially, we are not in a position to keep him longterm. We do not have our own land and the only way I can afford to have any horses at all is to work in return for livery. I get up at 5 every morning to muck out 6 stables and ride 2 horses before going to my full-time office job, and put them to bed in the evening afterwards, and ride another if light permits. In the summer it is fine, but the winter is a real struggle. We had planned to only have one horse by next winter, but we can't sell Ted with a broken leg. He deserves a special one to one forever home, but I'm not sure he will ever find one. We cannot afford to keep him as a pet.

The obvious and sensible conclusion is to have him put to sleep. But I just can't square it with myself morally. He is young and strong and so so shiny. Surely he deserves a chance to live and be a horse and not be in pain? He is so sweet and soppy, it's getting the better of my hardened nature.

If anyone has got to the bottom of this I am very surprised, but if such a rare person exists I would welcome your views.

Thanks, a teary scatty mare.
 
A TB ex-racer with **** feet - could have foot pain which would result in the humping etc.

I couldn't live with having him put to sleep - the accidental injuries were not his fault and at least he will do box rest - my TB is 21 and rideable but insane and if he succumbed to any severe accident/tendon rupture/fracture etc. then I would have no choice than to PTS.

Your horse sounds like he has a good temperament though, which is half the battle. Can you not get a decent farrier to assess his feet (no foot, no 'oss) and maybe get him into a field away from the likelihood of attack?

If you have him PTS at this stage you will have to live with it - and that's no easy feat.
 
You have a lot of problems!
Skin and ulcers you can clearly manage but are financially expensive and require alot of time. You will be lucky to find a purchaser who will take these problems on manage them sufficiently.
The bucking/poor performance is very worrying as it sounds like you have never been able to work this horse properly and therefore they are only likely to get worse. It is likely he does have kissing spines but whatever the cause of pain it will be a long road to treat it successfully and will definately require long term management. Combined with the lameness i think you will be lucky to achieve a comfortable hack and I am sure it will cost a lot to achieve and take a very long time. Obviously these things need investigating, not least to get a prognosis to help your decision. I don't see why you cant get his back xrayed whilst on box rest now to at least give you some idea. His stifle injury you will have to wait till the 6 weeks are up to decide upon.
I think unless you are prepared to keep this horse and spend alot of money on him - and you have clearly stated you are not - then you should PTS. If he was mine I would PTS because you have to sell him and your chances of doing so are slim. Even giving him away would be the cowards option for me - because know one is going to invest what this horse needs to get him comfortable. He is definately not suitable as a companion who rarely get basic health care let alone what he would require. Be brave and do what is right for you.
 
I'm really, really sorry you've found yourself in this awful situation. Only you can make this decision, but I can tell you how I see it.

As things stand, this horse will be almost impossible to rehome. Even without the stifle injury, he has ongoing and undiagnosed problems. You've now got to wait months just to get back to the unsatisfactory situation you were in before. If he was mine, I would be doing a complete work up now, the best you can, to see if you can find an explanation for his behavior. I would xray his back for KS and all 4 feet as a starter. You might find something that makes the decision a lot easier. If you don't find anything, you need to decide if you can justify the expense of months more rehabilitation. I definitely second the idea of getting a very good farrier to take a thorough look.

To be honest, even if you do find some explanation for his behavior and even if there's something you can do about it, it's still a difficult one. With his string of problems he's going to be very hard to find a home for and would certainly need some consistant trouble-free riding under his belt first. I guess you have to weigh up how likely that is to happen, how long it could take, how long you're prepared to keep him and how much more money you're prepared to spend.

I think you're being very sensible considering PTS, I would also be giving it serious consideration.

Very best of luck.
 
Well, after you've chased the moron that's been turning out the devil horse with yours for some sort of vet fees re-imbursements, you should be in a better position financially to be able to deal with him.

However, bottom line is you've had an unfortunate time with him, and been very unlucky. But I would say that you have to give him time to fully recover, and then see what you've got. If it's a field ornament - have him put down. If he's able to resume to full work - crack on.

As for the financial strains - I'm sure we all feel your 'pain' but that's the price of having horses I'm afraid...............
 
(((((((((((hugs))))))))))) If he does recover but can't be ridden or can only be a light hack could you loan him out (wouldn't sell because of his problems and it's not fair on him) to someone who wants a light hack/companion and to do some inhand shows (not sure if their are any inhand for exracers but worth considering) Good luck :D:D
 
Its always tough to know what to do in this kind of situation. I do think it might be a case of starting with his feet and working your way up. If there is any pain in their feet it can throw everything else out.Like others have said it may be worth xraying his back then if there is ks it might make your decision easier. He would be hard to sell/ rehome and you wouldnt get much for him so you just have to weigh up whether he can have a good quality of life. I am sure you will do what you think is right.
 
The obvious and sensible conclusion is to have him put to sleep.

.

You know the answer already. Save your moneyand use it to rehabilitate other racing "machines" who have more chance of a happy and pain free future. His future is very uncertain, TBs aren't easy even to loan, never mind unsound ones. He isn't afraid of death. He won't be fretting for lost years of life. He'll be safe and at peace. Fill him full of his favourite food and do it soon.
 
cptrayes has said exactly the right thing(i think)..the horse will not know what is going to happen and it sounds like he has already suffered quite a bit of pain in his life and you have really given him a lot of love and care while you have had him. so much better to go when he is loved and looked after. not an easy decision but im sure you will do the best for him, lots of hugs!!!!:)
 
Thanks for all of your thoughts, it's really great to have support and understanding from like-minded people. Even with many different points of view, the one thing everyone agrees on is that we have to do the right thing for the horse. It is a question of finding out what the right thing is.

We have decided to consult the vet about the possibility of x-raying his back and feet while he is on box-rest, and seeing if we discover any possible causes for his behaviour. If so, he will be put to sleep.

If not, and if the next xrays of his stifle injury show good progress, perhaps we will persevere. The farrier comments are very interesting, it is definitely a route worth investigating. I do agree that selling, loaning or giving him away (the horse, not the farrier!!) without ensuring that he is comfortable and pain-free is not only irresponsible but cowardly. If we can't get to the root of the problem soon it is not fair to keep him alive and in pain (and put him through weeks of boxrest).

With regard to the owner of the devil horse, amymay, it is tricky - his job is investigating horse insurance claims and he assures me that we haven't got a case - unless we sue him for negligence. And I quote 'I see this kind of claim every day and I NEVEr let them through.' Asswipe. He kept taking the electric fence down which separated the horses saying they needed to sort out their differences... I kept putting it up again, but it only took one kick. If Ted recovers/ lives beyond his boxrest he will be moving house, most definitely.

Also I must apologise for my moaning re: finances. Of course we take on horses fully aware of the commitment and responsibility that comes with it. There is always a chance that they will go wrong, and there will still be all the work and no reward. I am a bit embarrassed that I started feeling sorry for myself like that- after all I'm not the one stuck in a box with a broken leg- but it is just such a horrible situation.

I'll keep you posted as to what happens, but thanks so much for the support, it really helps.
 
I feel I want to post though you've had good advice/comments already. I am possibly the most softest, bunny-hugging twit around when it comes to animals and perservering to get them right. However, in view of the history of this horse and his current situation, I do feel I would pts. I used to think only the animal mattered, and of course indeed, they are the most important element to consider if we take them on and we must do our absolute best WITHIN REASON to get them happy with a good quality of life. But, I am now starting to realise that the human carer can only take so much as well and, in order that you can remain sane, solvent and enjoy your life, I personally feel its the right thing to do for your sake too.

Good wishes with whatever you decide.
 
It's a hard decision and you sound a lovely, sane person who wants to do the best for the horse. It is not your fault that so many injuries have happened.

I think that you should go with your gut instinct and remember that it takes courage to PTS but it can be the best option for your horse in his current situation. I wish you the best of luck.
 
Just wanted to add:

Don't beat yourself for worrying about finances. Not every horse owner can afford to spend thousands on getting a horse fixed, especially when there's no guarantee of a good outcome. This doesn't make them bad horse owners. Plus, circumstances can change beyond are control. We can only do the best we can given our resources.

Good luck.
 
I don't think any apologies are required. This horse has been lucky to find as caring an owner as you are. Good luck with him.
 
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