More operations, is it now time to give up advise please

ebonyallen

ebonyallen

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6 years ago had a double transplant, with the help of my horse Ebony I got through it, then had a riding accident broke me leg was in a cage for 4 years many ops then bad to worse had to take my leg off above the knee within 2 months of this I got back on my Ebony who did not put a HOOF wrong, she seems to know and looks out for me, in time got back to looking after her mucking out ect, and when I walk her to field she walks so slowly as I wobble about next to her and when I get her in she will leave her mates and charge to the gate as I can not walk that far she is the reason why I carry on. Last sept back in hosp till just before christmas, freinds had to look after her, as was to ill to do so now been told more operations in April.

We have come through so much together 3 days before I lost my leg she fractured her leg and we have got through all of this together, we do in hand showing and always do well hack out and were getting so much better, but now with this op and more time away from her should I let her go to someone who can give her the attention that she deserves as she is a truly wonderfull and kind horse , is it time for her sake to give up as now I really do not know thanks for your time sorry its so long.
 
OMG What an absolutely terrible time you have been having.

I think that perhaps a sharer to help, or part loan, but it sounds like she is immensely good for your well being which will help aid your recovery.

But I could be wrong, it really is only you who knows what is best.
What do you feel deep down about it all? Do you have a gut feeling about it?
 
I dont think you should give her up, if he gives you so much motivation especially, i agree with the above if you can possibly find a sharer or something similar. She wont mind if she just goes out in the field a lot more etc. do you have her on full livery? that would help ake some pressure and worry off you as at least you will know she is getting the care she needs. The yard near me does RDA and would love to take on a horse like yours for working livery but that you could obviously still own and ride her but they'd look after her and use her to, is there any such place near you that you could find out about. Hugs to you, keep smiling i cannot imagine what you have gone through. best of luck x
 
Oh dear, you really have been though it! I really don’t think you should get rid of her either, I think you need her, and she obviously adores you. I think a sharer or part loan is a good idea though, more to help you out then anything else. I really hope your operations go well and you recovery really quickly.

Now I really do think we need to see photos of your wonderful Ebony please?
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ebonyallen, you are an inspiration to me - I am suffering with a slipped disc and in lots of pain, I have been feeling like giving it all up as I cant ride at the moment. What you have been through makes me sound pathetic - battle on, cus if you can, I can xx
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It sounds to me like your dear horse is the best counsellor, and reason to get better that you could possibly have. I dont doubt for one moment that without her you would not have come so far. try and get some help with her, and keep going forward.
you are an inspiration to us all.
 
i think you should keep her and just perhaps get a good sharer for the days when you can't get there etc. she sounds like a wonderful kind mare and, without wanting to sound too wishy-washy, there is a reason why you have such a generous horse in your life.
i agree with the above, you are an inspiration, i'll stop feeling sorry for myself about my temporary physical problems. very best of luck with your ops, hope it all goes as smoothly as possible and you can get out with your girl again very soon.
 
Aw, I think you`re an inspiration to all of us. You`ve ahown inordinate courage in the face of adversity in a way that many of us could only aspire to. You`re amazing!

I agree with others who suggest finding a sharer or a loaner. You and your horse have been through such a lot together and you clearly have a huge bond that helps you through and probably gives you a good reason to keep going. She is a very important part of your life and vice versa. If there are other ways to keep her but to share the load, I would heartily endorse that.

I so very much hope that you find a way that feels right for you. You really are amazing! Huge hugs!
 
What an amazing thing to go through and what a wonderful horse she sounds! I would definitely say don't give up. It may not be easy for a while but once you are out the other side of the operations, she sounds like the perfect companion to help you get back 'in the saddle' as it were! Why not see if you can find a sharer while you are going through the operations in April or even a short term loan until you can manage again? Another thought would she be suited to driving? Perhaps she could be trained while you are sidelined and then you could both have a new interest long term?

Good luck both for you and her!
 
with out her I would not be here she is an Irish Draught X T/B a gentle giant, who gave me my life back.

You have answered this question yourself - not stalking you, btw, just happened to click on the soulmate topic earlier!

As long as you can afford to keep her, and your friends are helping, you should absolutely keep her. Selling or loaning her out will be just as traumatic for her, if she is happy at your current yard, and has a bond with you then leave her where she is happiest and carry on as best you can. Only sell her if you cannot cope, as a last resort.

Remember a horse has no ambitions as such, she doesn't lay in her stable dreaming of competing or going on long hacks with a 'better' rider, she just wants to be warm, fed, and turned out with some other nice horses. She is a sensitive mare and knows that you need her so count your lucky stars that you have each other. Someone else might care for her as much as you do, or they might not - so another home might actually be worse for her. If you can find someone to help and/or loan her at the yard you are at, that might be a good compromise, but I think you would deeply regret selling her or loaning her to someone further away.

She obviously loves seeing you, but horses rarely pine for human company so when you are not around I doubt she is overly worried about your absence (I mean that nicely, not that she doesn't care, just that horses tend to live in the moment more than we do).

Sorry, I am wittering on a bit here, but I don't want to read a post in a few months from you saying I sold her and now I wish I hadn't - I sold a horse that I wished now I had kept and I doubt i will ever find another like him so learn from my mistake.

And if you can't cope, perhaps someone on here would help you out for a short time - there's some really kind people on here
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Oops sorry, just read that back and saying count your lucky stars sounds rather wrong after all that you have been through - she is the one bright star in your life, is what I meant to say.
 
Thank you so much that made me cry (but in a nice way) you said it all. We are on a small farm and everyone is very kind and never minds helping us both, you made me stop and re think what I had said I was just feeling sorry for myself as I could never loan or sell her she is my reason to carry on and on dark days to get out of bed because she does need me and I really need her and the pair of us will get through this thank you so much for those very kind words I can and We will get through this, and what ever else lies ahead, thank you x
 
Just want to echo what everyone has said. i think you are making th right decision in keeping her, she sounds like a horse n a million. Good luck for the future
 
Just want to re-iterate what the previous posts have already said. It's really important to have something positive to focus on while you're rehabilitating - as already mentioned your horse sounds very happy & it is only humans who have ambitions. Good luck with your op & you can use your horse as a way of setting goals while you are getting going again. Let us know how you are getting on.
 
I agree with everyone above. You are an inspiration and Ebony is obviously perfectly happy, so you don't need to change anything.
Thanks for the kick up the wotsit as well, here's me moaning because I'm not able to do anything for just a few weeks because of a knee op. Thanks for the reality check. Keep on keeping on. x
 
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