More than 1 'Horse of a Lifetime'?

[HashRouge]

Sorry I wrote that last post before reading MM's post. I think I have come to that concluson. I can't decide now. It's too raw. It's too difficult. So I need to just enjoy him for now, and what will be will be.

This is right, I think. Don't put too much pressure on yourself! If you don't want to ride because it's wet and windy then don't, and try not to worry too much. See if you can get Toby out to a few events this year, Covid permitting, and just see how you feel about him at the end of the season.

 

[GinaGeo]

Yes you can. And they can be completely different and you can adore them for completely different reasons.

If it helps the doubt with jumping. My Connemara who is an absolute jumping machine now (he's 18), I would 100% trust him to get us over anything we came across Hunting and he did turn into a consistent Double Clear sort of horse at one point when I was show jumping him consistently. When he was four and five could jump through the entirety of a grid and demolish the lot and then go and do it again and demolish the lot once more. One day a penny dropped (it was hunting him actually), and he's been immense ever since. The best Cross Country horse I've ever sat on. It's actually my complete trust in him over fences that earns him a special place. It certainly isn't for his love of dressage!

That said. If you give him a bit longer to strengthen up, give him the experience to wise up and he still doesn't love the job you want him to do and you don't love him enough to do the job that suits him better it would be better for both of you if you moved him on.

Also don't pressure yourself to ride in wind and the rain and the muck of winter. Without being able to get out and about and without knowing when the season will start it's especially hard to be motivated this year.

 

[paddi22]

Part of the doubt is that I am not sure I want to event him higher than 80cm. He is clumsy and not very good at sorting out his feet so the idea of trusting him to get us both out of trouble at bigger fixed fences is a bit scary. Amber was terrifying in some ways as she was like a bloody train but I always knew that she would get us both safely to the other side of anything I put her at. So the vague plan is that I use him to really help me improve the dressage phase, take him out unaff and see how he gets on then either keep him as he surprises me and proves himself or sell as an allrounder. It makes sense but it means I have not jumped in with both feet as I am still hedging my bets.

I see exactly what you mean. I like the same 'type' of horse that you trust will safely power you around a course. I've a young horse at the moment who I KNOW won't be that horse, so I'll def sell him on. That's a very definite type of horse that you know you like, so I can see why you would be thinking you mightn't keep him. it might be a case of trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. As an eventer, I wouldn't personally keep a horse like that either, regardless of what other good traits it had.

 

[shamrock2021]

Yeah you can i used to share a horse that i loved. He would jump anything he was such a confident giver. But sharing didn’t work out I was completely gutted. So I bought my own horse completely different to what I am used to. The first few months I thought she was the wrong horse for me Tock a year for me to truly click. I think the problem was I was just missing the gelding that I used to share and ride .

 

[oldie48]

I see exactly what you mean. I like the same 'type' of horse that you trust will safely power you around a course. I've a young horse at the moment who I KNOW won't be that horse, so I'll def sell him on. That's a very definite type of horse that you know you like, so I can see why you would be thinking you mightn't keep him. it might be a case of trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. As an eventer, I wouldn't personally keep a horse like that either, regardless of what other good traits it had.

Totally agree,, I think you know when you have a good XC horse. Our 148cm although nappy to start as a youngster, once over the first fence he attacked his fences, was clever with a strong sense of self preservation and my daughter had complete confidence in him, the horse although talented in many ways, just did not have a XC brain although he was more than capable of jumping the fences.

 

[Lammy]

I lost my horse of a lifetime coming up for 2 years ago (god didn’t realise it had been that long). I already had my boy for 5 years from a yearling. He’d been backed but had been off work and due to be restarted after a field injury when my mare passed. He’s completely different to her, our two years since have been full of ups and downs, at one point I was going to put him up for sale, I had the advert written.

But for whatever reason I didn’t. He wasn’t really sellable at that point and I felt responsible for him so I ploughed on. Now we’re out the other side and though sometimes I do still think I’d like to have another mare, it’s now with the caveat, when he’s older or after he’s gone. He won’t be replaced anytime soon.

Could you potentially ride some other horses and see if you miss riding Toby? The saying you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone springs to mind?

Also as an aside, I wish I’d had a foal from my mare, I’d love to still have a piece of her with me. I went a bit grief mad trying to find any of her relatives to buy, thankfully I saw sense but I am in touch with her breeder now who still has her mum and sister. So there might be a niece I’d be able to purchase at some point.

 

[Nicnac]

I think motivation is really really hard at the moment - not just the usual winter blues with the shite weather but lockdown, everything cancelled, nothing to aim for blah blah blah and no idea when it will all restart. Lack of goals means I am not riding much as can't see the point.

I also don't believe in a horse of a lifetime - each one brings us something different and special. It's really early days for Amber's retirement - you need to take the time that it takes to assimilate and come to terms with it.

You may decide you love dressage and Toby will be like Millie's horse and take you to dizzy heights! Or you may decide he's better off in another home. Whatever decision you make, there's no time limit so go gentle on yourself.

 

[milliepops]

I know what you mean but I think even when you are doing that you have a sort of gut instinct. Not always perhaps, but I think if a horse isn’t inspiring you after a year or showing you glimpses of “what could be”...

Slightly different with Kira and Bog perhaps as neither were exactly sellable and we got sort of lumped with them either way!

hmmm. i don't know. I noticed a definite change with Kira once I had decided to just get on with loving her. all of a sudden she sort of blossomed. before that it was just a business relationship which never quite got beyond tolerating each other. I never saw what talent she had before that, i wasn't letting her show me because I was so busy thinking of her as a sell-on project (which I carried on thinking she would be, for a fair while!)

I kept Darcy at arms length because, from the start, i wasn't sure he would stand up to the work, and now he will be pts at some point so I'm disappointed it hasn't worked out but it won't rip my heart out, i have never let him get into it even though I care for him the same as all the others. sometimes it makes sense to keep your distance, sometimes it means you miss out.

though i agree with others, if OP wants a certain type of horse and he isn't that, there's no point pretending otherwise. you either accept they are different and enjoy them for who they are, or sell up and try and find something like the last one. trying to replace a horse like-for-like is quite a challenge though

 

[chaps89]

He sounds exactly like what I'd like next time round.
I will probably go against the grain here with what everyone else has said.
I bought madam because she ticked the re-sale box. Vet visits soon put paid to that and it's been really hard to stay motivated at times.
If I had the budget to be fussy, I would wait to buy the horse that made me smile when I rode them. There's been a few of them out there over the years but they've never been mine for one reason or another.
If you like them then sludging through mud, haying in gales when it's blowing everywhere but where you want, dealing with box rest for the 4th month etc etc is an awful lot easier than when they're nice but just not making your heart sing.
As it is, mine, thankfully, grew on me and I do love her now and have learnt a huge amount from her and like Toby she is a go anywhere do anything type so I've done things with her I wouldn't have done with many other horses. But it's been a slog and if I'm brutally honest, if she hasn't had so many health issues I would have probably sold on a long time ago. Now, I'm glad I've had her and will be very sad as and when she goes.
When you're a one horse owner you need to like the horse!
Unfortunately for horse hunting, that isn't necessarily something that is easy to tell from an advert or video!!!

 

[Xmasha]

Its an interesting point. I never thought i would own another horse who would measure up to Asha. Shes just been a fab horse, we had loads of fun. I remember the last clinic i went on her,and it pretty much summed her up. She was going around at lightening speed, bucking,broncing and loving it. ( only playful excited ones, she was never one to try and get you off ) Now i have Pip, who is just as amazing, i actually have far more fun on her than i ever did with Asha. We do more,we compete more, shes just fab. So, yes IMO you can have 2 HOALT.

As for breeding from these creatures. You have to accept that you may get something that simply doesnt suit you. It can help to research Ambers lines ,and choose a stallion that stamps his stock with the rideability you like. Dont bank on getting another Amber.

As for Toby,if he doesnt float your boat by now id consider letting him go, and look for something else. Lifes too short

 

[TheMule]

I've had 2 really special horses and along the way I‘ve quietly tried to find another as my next 'The One' to run on alongside them and have had nice horses but nothing that I just adore. Similar to a few other people, these have all been shoestring horses taken on a bit of a chance.
I bred from special horse no.2- her first foal was absolutely destined to be my next but she died at 18months which broke my heart. I have her rising 4 yr old now so?...... I've not let myself get as emotionally attached to him after what happened to his sister

 

[rara007]

I also don’t really like the term. I’ve already had several very special ponies, and they’re not usually the most talented on paper of what I’ve had (but still go on to get the best results). None of these have been super easy relationships right from the get go. I think motivation right now really is very tricky, between covids current restrictions and not knowing what there will be of a season, along with the middle of winter. Everything is just meh. I totally understand when you say you are best with a target, I don’t really function without them.

 

[SatansLittleHelper]

I have loved watching Toby progress with you, I think he's an awesome little horse BUT there are a few things that stand out for me...
Amber is a fair bit bigger iirc..?? The drop in size would make me feel differently, I don't know if this is an issue in any way. Then there is the mare vs gelding thing.
Mostly though, you just seem to be very ambivalent towards him. To my mind, he isn't doing the job that YOU want to do, regardless of how you feel about him. Life is just too short x

 

[Bernster]

Lots of good points and obv it’s very personal. I think I’m one of the ‘not sure there is such a thing as a hoalt’, or maybe that means I haven’t had one?! But what you want or need can change through your lifetime too so that what suits at one point doesn’t suit later in your riding life.

But if you have a type and know that there’s a certain something missing, then I think that will niggle at you and eventually you’ll move on and hopefully find another that makes your heart sing. And someone gets the joy of having Toby who hopefully makes their heart sing. No rush ofc and entirely your choice.

When I was umming and ahhing about selling Monty, my OH said that he deserved to be someone else’s ‘no 1 horse’ and he wasn’t my no 1. That really struck home for me. It was the right thing for me and Monty. He didn’t want to do the things I wanted to do. I’m probably slightly in the same situation with finnegan although he‘s far more suited to me really, and he has melanoma, so he’s with me forever no matter what. We have loads of fun so, for now, that’s great, but there is a tension in terms of my ambitions horse-wise, although with COVID it’s not like I’m missing out right now! Wonder how I will feel once people get out competing.

Other random thought was whether there was a chance that you’d closed yourself off a little to Toby, and if that was impacting things. Entirely understandable ofc but could be a factor?

Also pondering if there is a mare v gelding thing going on. Horrid generalisation, I realise, but the two mares I’ve had are both far more loveable than any gelding I’ve owned ?‍

 

[Roxylola]

It feels a bit like teaching granny to suck eggs throwing psych type stuff at you, but I'm going to do it anyway.
I don't know your and Amber's full history however your blog being "the horse that no one wanted" makes me think that she needed you (or at least that you feel she did) and there's no question you obviously had a great relationship and a massive amount of trust in each other. Now, could you have achieved as much individually? That's something nobody could answer - I know you've said before Amber had clearly got masses of scope, but because she wasn't just anybody's ride perhaps in different circumstances she'd have fallen by the way side.
Toby on the other hand seems quite a cheerful easy going soul, if you hadn't bought him he'd probably be doing something very similar with somebody else now. I don't get the feeling that you think he needs to be with _you_ in the way you feel that with Amber. And I wonder if that affects your feelings towards him?

 

[Ample Prosecco]

I do appreciate all the people saying they don't like the term HoaLT and all horses have something special to offer. But I am not sure how else to describe the fact that Amber is more special to me than any other horse I have had. Much as I'd love to say I love or have loved all my horses equally - it just isn't true! And yes I do think I prefer mares.

 

[MereChristmas]

Sorry I have only skipped through the previous posts.

I have had trouble putting my feelings into words.
Anyway, here goes..

I have had 8 horses that were ‘mine’. The others were my children’s.
Each horse has left a hole, I don’t like that description but can’t find a better word, however the hole they left is not the same shape that the next horse needed to ‘fill’ because as I have got older my requirements have changed.
My first horse which I owned when I was best physically capable has left me with most exciting memories but I know I am no longer able to do that.
I suppose she was my horse of a lifetime but I don’t compare the others to her.
I ‘loved’, again a description I don't like, each horse but some were cuddly and some were aloof.

None of these horses needed to have special care or handling and perhaps that brings a closer relationship for you AE.

My present horse, only recently bought, will I hope give me more memories, they will just be different.

 

[DiNozzo]

For what it's worth, my HOALs have all been ones that started trickily and then one say things were just better. One who wouldn't leave the yard and then was a nappy pig turned into a HOAL when one day we took 3 hours to get him off the drive, then 100 yards down the road horses turned inside out and he waited for his instructions instead of dicking about. It was such a special moment in our relationship that it made everything else easier.

Another turned into HOAL when he all of a sudden decided that yes, going sideways was a thing he could do.

You seem more comfortable with Toby than you sometimes did with Amber. I don't know if its something to do with the horses or changing your instructors (I think?) but your lesson posts seem to be more 'I have learnt this and it's amazing' and less 'So this is what I need to do to be good enough for her'.

I wonder if the lack of tangible goals (COVID/lockdown) has made it harder for you to emotionally connect your success with him? Like you say, a lesson that leaves you beaming is an amazing feeling, but its not the same thing as coming home clear from a xc round!

 

[vhf]

I'll add something to the mix. The whole Amber-Toby thing has happened against abackdrop of the most remarkable period of our lives in terms of generalised (and specific) stress, uncertainty and inability to plan anything for more than a few days at a time. I don't just mean in our horsey lives, but in every corner of our being, subconscious as well as right there in your face. Very often we build relationships - and those with horses are no different - according to what's going on in our wider lives at the time. Also, many people won't form that bond with a horse until they're competing properly with them, and recently, who's really got to do that? So it's possible it's simply not a level playing field anyway, your head is in a different place and no horse could fit the bill right now.
My undoubted HoaL was a gelding many years ago. I was a teenager, he was the one thing in my life that I felt I understood, and that understood me. We achieved stuff I doubt either of us would have achieved with anyone else in the circumstances. I don't expect there ever to be another one because the situation was unique. My current mare (there have been several in between) will always hold a very special place in my heart, we are completely in tune and I'll never part with her, but... she's not what I'd have if I could wave a magic wand. At my age I doubt I will ever have that though and I am trying to accept and count my blessings. Maybe I will have another HoaL one day, but they won't be anything like my old boy because everything else is different.

 

[Flame_]

I believe in trying to love the one you're with but also learning about yourself and what you really like for horses of the future.

When I viewed my horse, I wasn't allowed to ride him, he had to be pinned in a corner to get a bridle on and he almost kicked me in the face at the start of a trot up. I wanted something with presence, an edge, and not too submissive after my last horse. I was prepared for the possibility he'd be too much for me and I might need to sell him on. He's turned out the closest I've come to matching Flame's attitude, which was mainly that she was far superior than me, everything she did was on her terms and she always thought for herself instead of counting on her rider/ skivvy to give out instructions. In some ways I'm disappointed that my current horse doesn't have Flame's forwardness, and he's nowhere near as hot, but I have to remind myself that I'm not 17 anymore and going everywhere sideways might actually be pretty annoying now. I've had my horse 5 years and he's never going anywhere. I think he's made of the same kind of mettle that might mean he lives a good life into his thirties, I certainly desperately hope so.

 

[TPO]

I think that you can definitely have more than 1 HOALT but you have to either be open or ambivalent to it happening for it to happen.

Since buying Toby you have come across really hung up on the fact that he isn't, and won't be, Amber. The door already seems shut to letting him just be him.

It's different for everyone but as someone else said trying to get a direct replacement is really hard and it's almost better to get something new that's a bit different in some ways.

Going against the current on here but I think that you should sell Toby. Ideally pretty sharpish to catch the end of the covid price wave. You don't seem to be doing each other any favours so I'd find a nice sales livery yard so they can tune him up and sell him on.

I know that he's young and green, and its always good to be honest, but if you're planning on him being sold as an all rounder perhaps not best to be emphasising that you dont feel that he could ever do an 80 and that he crashes through tiny jumps. I'd send him to a good yard where they can polish him up and show him doing the basics well.

Then I think you need a break from owning "the one" until you know what you want. To replace (or stick with) Toby is just going to see you caught in the same vicious circle of "but they're not Amber". I wouldn't breed from Amber either for a few reasons but including that one.

I'd spend more time and money with intensive lessons and riding as many different horses as possible. I dont think you trying to learn on Toby is really helping either of you mentally based solely on what you've written in posts on here. Again it's easy to write in the heat of the moment and with reflection it wasnt as bad as portrayed. The time and money invested in proper schoolmaster lessons will be more than worth it long term.

I think it's hard for most people to be motivated right now because its January, we've had awful weather and are at something like day 304 since lockdown. No one even know how, when or if shows, let alone BE, will run.

If you are goal orientated perhaps better to aim for achieving certain things in relation to training/skills than dates to compete/being comp ready.

It's hard retiring a horse. It's almost simpler (simpler doesnt equate easier) when you have to make the PTS call because there is closure. I could be wrong (no surprises there!) but I get the feeling that you are still hopeful that after some more time away Amber might be able to come back to some level of work? It is hard having a healthy appearing horse standing out in a field especially if they are your "heart horse". Everything else aside I think you need some time out to let yourself grieve for lost hopes and dreams with Amber. You were going to take time and then Toby came along. I've done the impulse buying too after promising myself thr winter off so I know how easily it's done.

Based on my take (could be wrong (as usual!)) of your Operation: Learn to Ride posts there seems to be some sort of mental block affecting your riding physically and causing you frustration. I don't pretend to have a single clue about this but a friend from school recently posted something which might be relevant to your situation. She has suffered with back pain for years and has had every sort of therapy going to try and straighten herself out as well as making sure that she is physically healthy and strong; all with little success and nothing that has helped long term.

Anyway she posted the other day that she had been having 1-2-1 sessions with The Brain Guy (he has an account on insta). Way over ny head but I've skimmed his stuff and he tells about creating new pathways and all sorts of brain training.

Getting to my point; she had her Zoom sessions with him and they discussed her previous traumas. She lost her dad when she was a teenager and TBG said things along the lines that suppressing certain emotions from that had been causing her body to react and that's what had started her back becoming misaligned and the subsequent pain. Since the sessions, for the first time since she was a teen (late 30s now) this is the longest that she has been pain free.

On a similar vein there is @Steven on insta who shared a story about a medal winning athlete who's body just completely shut down. Through different forms of therapy the "diagnosis" was that the brain/body just stopped to protect itself because she wasnt listening to the smaller cues about her mental well being.

Since that breakthrough she was able to start training and went on to blow everyone away by winning in her field.

Now I'm not saying that is what you have going on, even on a smaller scale, but there are clearly unresolved issues around Amber that are still upsetting you. Your posts since she went lame/getting Toby havent read (again, only to me and I'm often wrong!) in the same tone. Although your posts about your daughter and Dolly do seem the same upbeat tone as before despite posting at similar times.

I guess that's my long way of saying that I think you need a break and to take pressure off. Try to remember horses are a hobby that should be fun. It's ok to take a break. Most other sports/hobbies have seasons and in the off season the golf clubs/football boots go into the cupboard. The 24/7/365 nature of horses can be exhausting and draining. It's ok to rest.

 

[daffy44]

I agree with so much TPO has said.

I think you can certainly have more than one horse of a lifetime, but equally I think if you set out to try and find the nearest replica to your horse of a lifetime, you are destined to a lot of unhappiness. The special horses turn up in many different guises, but I dont think they can in identikit packages.

I also agree with what MP and Bernster have touched on, its not enough to think of yourself, you have to consider the horse too, every horse does deserve to be someones number one horse, and I think when you emotionally keep a horse at a distance, for whatever reason, its unrealistic to expect that horse to become your horse of a lifetime until you fully commit to keeping it and loving it. Far better to sell the horse and give it a chance of being a number one horse for someone else. If Toby's failing is that he is not Amber, thats totally understandable, but it will be every other horses failing too, so I would give yourself a break, take some pressure off, and take time before you get another horse, give yourself time to process what has happened with Amber.

 

[Red-1]

I am another who thinks you can have more than one horse that really rings your bell. I won't buy one that I can't wait to get on, and then don't want to get off.

My current horse couldn't have been a lot more "useless" when I bought him, aged cob, never schooled, just finishing protracted box rest, lame in many legs... But something about him rang my bell. Makes me want to go ride in the rain.

My last horse also rang my bell. she was apparently perfect, life however is not, and what was perfect for me then is not now (due to my change in circumstances), so she was sold.

Jay Man, when I looked at him back in 2011, he was a flash competition horse who was thought to not be trainable as he had a nasty rearing habit. But, he rang my bell, I paid up willingly. I didn't care if he was rideable or not, I worshipped him from the day I saw him. That worked out well, and even when he semi retired, I couldn't wait to go do whatever we could together.

That being said, I'm not sure I would sell Toby. He is too easy and handy. The kids can ride him. You can ride him. Friends can ride him. Although I would not buy him, I think if he was mine and toddling along doing his best and filling a role, I would probably keep him. And buy another.

 

[AandK]

I agree 100% with what TPO has posted above.

I get your thing with Amber. I have my 'horse of a lifetime' retired in the field, I adored riding him and nearly 2yrs on I am still not quite over the fact I won't ever get to ride him again. New horse has spent most of his time with me injured/in rehab (we're doing rehab now post op no2) which doesn't help, he has all of the "potential" I was looking for, but I am beginning to accept he won't realise it.

I do think that from what you have written about Toby that he is a really great type, and think you should consider selling him so he can find a home where he is that special horse, rather than being in Amber's shadow.

 

[Trouper]

There is such a lot in what TPO says. For my two-penny's worth, I would be taking my thinking back to the very basics and removing the personalities from the frame.
If you did not have a horse in the field/stable at the moment how much would you miss it all? Would it be unbearable to be without a riding horse? (I'm assuming Amber's retirement is non-negotiable)
Do you want to continue?
And do you want to continue in a competitive way?
If you decide you want to continue and had a blank piece of paper, what spec would you draw up for a new horse?
Having posed these questions, I'm not sure now is quite the right time to be answering them anyway!!! I think we are feeling down about the current situation, the dratted winter and, well, just everything so I think I might be parking them for a few weeks until Spring gets here and, hopefully, life is looking a bit rosier.
One thing is certain, while everyone else's point of view is helpful, going round and round in your head about it at a difficult time is not - so give yourself permission to take a break from it if you need to and come back to all this when we are in a chirpier place.

 

[MereChristmas]

Trouper has replied as I wrote this and has probably written it in clearer way.

Not to put dampeners on the above posts, which I understand entirely, but as we all know finding a horse that fulfils enough criteria to be purchased is very difficult.
What would be your feelings if you sold Toby? Would you immediately start a search for another horse? Or would you take a break and make a decision later? Or, would you be happy not owning a riding horse for a considerable time?
Being a cautious sort I would keep Toby for a while and wait for the unsettled time we are living through and your own emotions to settle before making changes.
Take care.

 

[ycbm]

Ah, yes, I should clarify. I would sell Toby but I wouldn't part with him until a new one had its feet in your stable.

.

 

[Michen]

I might be missing something but to me it doesn't sound like the majority of the problem is that Toby isn't Amber, it sounds like the problem is that Toby is Toby. I wouldn't feel hugely motivated by something that's still crashing through jumps that size after nearly a year of decent education either. I'd hazard a guess that if you had something that was really filling you with confidence (even if the horse was young and green, but giving you the feeling that he will get you to the other side), you'd be feeling quite different. Maybe not that the horse was "the one" but probably motivated enough to want to find out.

I get the being young and green, of course, but for the average rider (certainly for me anyway), that is not confidence boosting. I would have no time for a horse in my stable that I didn't feel safe taking me to a fence. If Bear when he starts jumping is still doing that with any kind of regularity within a year I'm afraid he'd be sold or I'd be sending him off to a pro to get their opinion/teach him if I'd missed something. I'm sure there are plenty of stories of young horses doing that and turning out great but he's not THAT young and he's not that inexperienced, it sounds like he's been jumping fairly regularly under AE's wing since she got him. And I say that having had a horrible fall with Boggle after a misjudgement which sent us both crashing to the ground.

 

[Ample Prosecco]

I am having a lot of fun with Toby and I absolutely 100% want horses in my life. To ride, to build a relationship with, to get to know and to compete. Horses have been an absolute godsend during lockdowns. Life feels almost normal at the yard. So it's not that I am stressed and unhappy. A lot of the time it has been really satisfying learning buttons on a new horse. I just wonder if Toby is really the long term partner in crime that I want. And I think the answer is that it is too soon to know as I am strill grieving.

This thread has made me feel better though - loads of really interesting perspectives but the key takeways that are particularly useful for me are:

* Do I love him enough to change my plans/dreams to accommodate his strengths/limitations. Basically, nope.

* Will he do the job? I don;t know. But if not, then I can move him on with no regrets having learnt a lot along the way. My RI thinks he is more than capable. It's me that needs convincing because I just don't get a great 'feel' from him when jumping. But maybe that's me not him. Just thinking through the time-line - I got him at the end of May. Then he had an injury layoff in August for a month. And no saddle for a month in December. So he's been jumping every 10 days - 2 weeks for just under 6 months. That's about 12-15 sessions? Is that a lot? I actually think I need a pro to jump him for me and put him through his paces. He has had some sessions when he has felt pretty good. And others when he seems to have no clue. Roxylola- you've seen him jump. What did you think?

* Is there another horse out there more suited to what I want? Maybe and it's ok to want that. Life's short and horses are expensive and time consuming

* Does Toby need me? Not in the least. He would be many people's absolute dream horse.

So basically I plan to keep having fun with him for now, but keeping an open mind about his future and to get my RI to jump him a few times for me and see what she thinks of him.






*

 

[Ample Prosecco]

Ah, yes, I should clarify. I would sell Toby but I wouldn't part with him until a new one had its feet in your stable.

.

My husband would divorce me!