Mother daughter share- could it work

[I don’t like mondays]

Hi
Looking for some advice please Following on from a previous thread of mine, folks on here have suggested a mother daughter share. Here’s the situation:

I lost my heart horse last year. I’m 5ft 8 10stone, in the past horses have been 16h min. Not sure I’ll ever replace my horse (quirky but talented), have considered giving up (I’ll never get another like him etc!) but would be happy with a bit of schooling and unaffiliated dressage if daughter had a pony big enough

Daughter 5ft 5 but slim. 13yrs old but still very much novice, been riding 4 years but mainly riding school plus an unsuitable loan pony (she’s sometimes nervous, but not always), she would love to do PC but needs opportunity and the right pony (forgiving and not too fizzy). Had a few shares but mainly hacked and small jumps (cross poles in trot). She’s balanced and can walk, trot canter a riding school type pony, but a green/unbalanced youngster she’d struggle with (got ejected last week from a friends pony)

Im not sure there is a mother daughter share that would suit us both is there :-\ the size difference (would need to be 15h to meet in the middle and ability difference). I’m happy to forgo all my ambitions if my daughter was happy but current prices mean I can only afford 1 horse and would love to be able to ride (very) occasionally or jump on and school if pony needs sorting for my daughter

Friend knows of a 15h cob who is 16, been there and done it (BE 80, novice dressage) But daughter is not at that level yet, she’s still very novice (although she really wants progress, just not had opportunity yet). Is a pony like this (on paper) too much of a step up? I could try to find a 13.3/14h but it wouldn’t last long and we couldn’t share (so maybe I need to forget sharing)

Any guidance always appreciated. Thanks

 

[Roxylola]

I think a nice cob could work very well, he can do a bit for you still and be showing her the ropes. I'd definitely want to see him

 

[View]

Don’t be afraid to look at a bit bigger than 15hh. Dad and I shared a 15.3 ID cross, who arrived when I was 11 and 5 feet nothing.

Temperament is more important so if the 15hh ticks the boxes and is a nice person for both of you, you have your answer.

 

[Jellymoon]

I think it’s a great idea, and I think you could go down height wise to widen your search. I have a friend who is 5ft9.5 and around 10/10.5 stone who shares their 14hh connie with her 15 Yr old daughter who is 5ft7 but thin as a whippet. The daughter does sj and ode with him, mum hacks him and does a bit of unaffiliated dressage. They are looking for something the next level up, not because of his size but because he’s old now and daughter is getting ambitious. Also, if you are capable of schooling and bringing one on, then you could go for something younger with a kind temperament.

 

[Squeak]

I think it sounds a great idea to share with daughter. It will give her an opportunity of having a better schooled horse and will keep the horse sweet and honest as well as making sure it gets some harder exercise.

Agree with Jellymoon that 10stone isn't much and some of the natives can really take up the leg. I reckon you could get away with going a bit smaller than 15hh too. Although having said that I also think daughter would be able to ride something 15hh/ 15.2hh if she's already 5'5.

Would you both be able to try riding some different heights/ type? Then you might be able to work out what would suit you both?

The 15hh cob could be perfect, go have a try. I wouldn't worry about what it has done, if the temperament fits then it will hopefully be able to bring her on more quickly.

 

[lme]

I’ve done 3 mother daughter shares (with multiple daughters) over the past few years, ranging from a feisty home bred 15:3 who we shared when the girls were coming off ponies, to our current family horse who is a 17:1 young ISH

It could absolutely work for you and your daughter to share. In your position I’d look at something like a nice natured 15:2 to 16:0 that can step up for you and down for your daughter.

Breed doesn’t matter. Temperament does. Our best ever family horse was a 17h SJ bred WB. She could go jumping with a pro one week and do cross poles with my tiny 15yo who hadn’t ridden for 2 years the next.

What I have found is that roles change over time. These days I am the one that does the gentle hacking and the girls do the more challenging stuff.

 

[honetpot]

I think temperament is more important than size, the bigger they are in general they slower they are to react than a pony, and there is just more of them to hang on to. My youngest daughter was a nervous rider, at seven/eight, she was riding a 14.2, and felt much safer than on a 12hands pony. She went off of that at 14, to a 16hands TB, who was perfect for her.
When I was a lot lighter I used to ride my daughter NF pony, I did all the hacking, schooling and tuning up, so she could ride her at PC as a second pony, when she was eight.
When you ride them yourself you pick up the signs of when and how they are going to play up, so you can teach your child to avoid it, just don't get the horse too off the leg, or expect a child to get the same result from the legs aids, and teach weight aids.

 

[Annagain]

I'm another who thinks that at 5'5" and growing your daughter could take a bigger horse. My old share horse was 17hh and Mr Perfect (in 20 years, nobody fell off him, we just fell over with him a couple of times!). His owner's 12 year old son went from his 13hh pony straight to M and was far happier on M who pretty much took him round 80 courses as a passenger and really looked after him. He was small on him to begin with but was 6'2" by 14 when M retired so it's just as well they put him straight on M and didn't buy him a 15hh! My friend had had him from the age of 5 but he was in his 20s by the time her son started riding him so he'd done everything by then.

Temperament will be key. M was basically very honest and kind but also quite lazy so would only ever give it just enough beans to get the job done, whether that was a 30cm cross pole or a 1m spread, which made him very safe. It also meant he'd step it up or down as requested as unless he realised you meant business, he'd dawdle along so even really novicey people could ride him. He was also talented so found 80 so easy that he could go round pretty much by himself, all he needed from his rider was the sat nav instructions. I evented him at 90 and even that he skipped round effortlessly. If I'd had more guts, he'd have gone much bigger. I'd maybe look for an older higher level horse who needs a step down.

 

[I don’t like mondays]

Thanks everyone. Will see if I can go and look next week

 

[I don’t like mondays]

Would be lovely to have another horse to love again

 

[J&S]

I have shared a 14.1 NF pony wih both my daughter and then later my step daughter. I don't think you need to have a 15 hh plus to both have a lot of fun, and serious stuff too, M & M showing, dressage, jumping , plus fun rides, hunting the lot.

 

[Wishfilly]

15hh isn't so big for your daughter, and she could grow quickly in the next year or so. If it's the right 15hh(ish) horse, she will feel fine/safe on it, I think- temperament is surely more important than size for her?

 

[GSD Woman]

I've often wondered about the mother/daughter share. Is it to keep the horse expenses to one horse? Or is it because the horse/pony is better off with more work?

 

[Red-1]

I've often wondered about the mother/daughter share. Is it to keep the horse expenses to one horse? Or is it because the horse/pony is better off with more work?

I have seen it be both. Not just more work, but one can keep the schooling up for the other (and it isn't always the adult riding better than the child!).

It can help at exam time, as mum takes over the care and child can just have the odd, pressure free ride.

It is a shared interest.

The adult makes sure the horse is done correctly.

It is a bonding exercise for the family.

The 15hh cob sounds an excellent idea. The fact that it has done some BE 80 would be a bonus, as long as the temperament is right. I had a 16.3 ID X who would have taken a regular child novice, and did regularly give rides to smaller children than yours. He was a confidence builder.

 

[Xmasha]

we bought Finn as a mother daughter share. 16hd 5yo ID green as grass. It never worked out, purely because the daughter stole him and i rarely got the chance to ride him. So ended up buying another for me.
But is was a great idea, as to start with if he had a wobble i was able to get on and sort it out. To be fair he only ever had one wobble, and after that the daughter loved him so much she sorted him out. I did steal him back for a camp once, had the best time.
So id say go for it

 

[Cob Life]

I’m riding a mare at the moment who would probably suit (sorry she’s not for sale!) she’s 15.2 and sweet as pie, she’ll step it up if i ask her too but she’s also quite happy going for a walk and trot around without any silliness, so they are out there, you’ve just got to find the right one