Motivational help wanted for when you've lost your riding "mojo"

GSLS

GSLS

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25 February 2013
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Ashford, Kent
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Recently I've not wanted to ride or exercise my horses or others', and have been doing it just to keep the horses fit and not because I want to. My own horses have been purchased for pleasure/pets/enjoyment not to sell on so really that's what I'd like to be getting out of them whereas at the moment I dread getting them in from the field and tacking up seems like too much effort and riding is just scary and horrible and I don't want to do it.

Of course no matter how bad I feel, I'd never let it become a detriment to my horses or I would sell them but I just really don't want to do "do horses" at the moment.

The other day I went out of my way to pull/trim them and I was more than happy to bring them in for the chiro to look at and same goes for farrier but I think this is more because it's for the horses' benefit/have to be on time/can't let people down.

I don't want to ride with anyone else and I used to get excited when friends came over to take photos/do jumps for me as I keep my horses by themselves but even this seems :( now. I don't want to hack with anyone either as I've completely lost my confidence out on the roads/bridleways/generally don't even want to lead my horse down the road just because I have no will to do it.

I'm meant to be going hunting this weekend and the weekend after and that I do feel motivated to do as I keep telling myself it's a once a year special thing that I can't miss.

I just hate riding right now. I don't think it's the mud or the cold I just feel no pleasure from it whatsoever. I've really lost my mojo. One of my youngsters is being vile at the moment/generally difficult in every way and reared over backwards with me the other day so I don't know if that's what's been the final straw but I do feel this reluctance to ride has been coming on for a while as I gave up "work riding" / riding for money in April 2014.... As I absolutely despised it and never ever ever wanted to do it no matter how much I was being paid per hour. My other horses are "safe", but I still don't want to ride them. Obviously I understand there's other methods of exercising horses and I do pessoa mine a lot no matter what frame of mind I'm in throughout the year as I feel it's important for them.

Hmm... I've tried watching youtube videos before that people have made/looking at other people's photos and that some times helps me but hasn't been working lately as I don't feel even slightly jealous or ambitious / want to do what others are doing with their horses. I've also bought new clothes/boots/items of tack before but I literally am so satisfied with my tack and stuff that I'm not going to waste money on needless items and the horses have plenty of rugs etc...

I also don't want a lesson etc as I don't even want to ride LOL let alone learn.

And I am definitely not purchasing a new neddy as the ones I've got are more than adequate lol.



Can anyone help me before I hang up my boots and hat and turn my horses into field ornaments :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(
 
Oh dear! Maybe the hunting will get you revved up again. I always find that the cold, wet, muddy reality of riding and keeping your horse fit is difficult but always pays off on hunting days. Your fit, clipped, pristine horse with a gleaming coat, plaited up and looking smart having a jolly day with friends is always payment for the many mundane boring days at home. Even at the end of the day when you have a wet and muddy horse to sort out and make comfortable it's never too bad because you know your hunting buddies are all doing exactly the same too! If you are keen to go hunting for the next two weekends, could you make it a more regular thing to keep you interested and get your mojo back?
 
There's absolutely nothing wrong with taking a short break from riding.

I've had such an awful year, by October I had lost all motivation to do anything with my horse. He was on DIY, so I went up, did jobs, spent a little time with him grooming or something. Then went home & started again the next morning. Was on a very busy livery yard so had constant "are you riding?", "why not?", "you really should!", "he wants to be ridden!" etc... which of course, doesn't help AT ALL!!

After some very bad news, I decided enough was enough and I need to put him on full livery. Too expensive at the yard I was at, so had to find a new yard. By some sort of miracle, I found a wonderful yard (who didn't have space at the time I went to view, but moved some things around to squeeze me in!).

We moved on 1st November. I went up a couple of times in the first week, then decided that I needed a week to myself. I didn't go to the yard or do anything remotely horsey for 2 weeks straight. I felt a little guilty for not going to see my beloved horse for so long, but I'll admit, it was bliss.

And what happened next? After months of having zero motivation, not wanting to ride at all, no desire, the passion for it all but gone...

I found myself with a fancy for hopping on. For the first time in MONTHS, I actually wanted to go to the yard, tack up and have a ride. And it went from there. I started to get excited by riding. And when I was on board, I felt happy. Complete again. Whereas before, all I would feel was dread and inconvenience.

I'm enjoying horses again, and I really look forward to riding and seeing my lovely horse each day.

Sometimes a short break (or taking the pressure off yourself completely) is enough to make you realise how much you love it and miss it.

You need to put that spark back, and forcing it isn't always the way to get it back.

I hope this helps - I know for some it's not possible to take a complete break, but I hope it's something to think about. Good luck.
 
I had exactly the same thing back in the summer. I was very much into training/competing, and admittedly I often put too much pressure on myself..... I think this was the main cause for me to chuck the towel in. I realised I needed a break, away from horses completely. It was a very hard decision to send my beloved, quirky, very talented mare back to her owner (I had her on full loan) but I knew it was the right thing to do, for both of us. It would have been completely unfair to turn her away until I was "ready" to come back to it again. I might not ever go back. I'm thoroughly enjoying my time away.
 
Im having a break from riding as I was feeling the same and it was becoming harder and harder to even fit in a ride, the only circuit I was able to fir in was a loop around a small housing estate- same thing day in day out and in the end I decided it was doing neither of us any good.
Mid January the evenings start already to draw out slightly and I will start again, giving myself a stress free Christmas. I'm even slightly starting to look forward to getting the hairy bear back in and starting out afresh to get him a bit fitter for spring :)
 
My horse went out on loan this year for 6 months. I was dreading her going but my finances and new house really meant I needed a break. In the first week, I felt lost. I had so much spare time I felt I was going slightly crazy. But then... suddenly.... I felt... absolute bliss! I had money, time, a clean car and absolutely no hay anywhere in sight! I had the option to hack her out in her loan home, without any chores and any hassle of 'schooling'. I could ride a friends horse when I wanted, but if I didn't fancy it, I didn't do it and enjoyed the lay in instead. I loved it!

Suddenly I panicked. I had 2 months before her return... How would I fit a horse back into my new social routine, and how would my bank account cope now I had a house to look after? What I found was, that once I knew the date she was going back and had sorted a space for her, I started to look forward to it. I wanted her back, and missed the smell, the time they took, the hay in my boots and bra. I am so glad to have her back now she has returned.

What I did find though, was that I most definitely needed a break. I needed to take the pressure off and concentrate on me for a while, rather than me and my horses because that's all I have done for 16 odd years. I had almost burnt out of steam, and had lost 'my way' a bit, and definitely needed a chance to find my spark again, so actually the new house was a perfect excuse to take this opportunity. There is absolutely nothing wrong with realising you just need a break from the routine or from riding. I really don't think taking the pressure off ridden wise is a bad thing.

I still occasionally have days where I think, 'All I want to do today is muck out, hay, groom and go home' and so that is what I do. As long as they are fed, watered, warm and happy the rest can wait for another day. Unless your bills are paid by riding, why don't you take the pressure off? I am sure your horses wouldn't mind an extra day, week, month. or whatever off. Or if you feel they are wasted, could you not find a sharer or loaner, just to give you some breathing space? Horses are an expensive hobby- If you are not enjoying it, then review your situation and what you can do to just allow yourself the chance to relax. There are many options without having to sell, which may just give you the chance to recuperate and find your buzz again.
 
I have times like this when I lose my mojo. Usually co-incides with a busy time at work or if something else is going on in my mind. I've handled it different ways in the past, and the most recent time was when we were buying our house. I just felt so stressed out that I couldn't bare being on the horse - I couldn't relax. I felt like if I did ride it was a chore and just going through the motions. I was also having a crap time at the yard, dealing with some difficult personalities who were being challenging to handle about the fact we were buying a place with land. Snide comments and the like.

I have weekly lessons normally, I made excuses, cancelled and re-arranged, even pretended my horse had lost a shoe once etc. In the end I called my instructor up and explained how I felt. I hadn't ridden for a month at that point. We arranged a time and skipped learning anything and made that lesson about fun - stupid games and things to do on horseback which subtly helps with balance and turns etc but just felt like a laugh, and something I would have done as a teenager. She's worth her weight in gold just for the times she has got me out of my funk. Sometimes she makes me watch some internationals on TV etc or look up a specific exercises online. Usually it piques my interest enough.

I think sometimes, life does get on top of you and horses - even for the most die hard of lovers - can be hard work. The pleasure can be sucked out of it, through no fault of anyones. Key is to find something that ignites that passion, remind you why you do it - it might be hunting, might be just a nice hack out...

But having a break doesn't do you or horses any harm, I don't think.
 
Do you feel that it is just your riding mojo or are you feeling a bit down in general? Sometimes stopping enjoying things that we used to love can be a sign of generally feeling a bit low. Probably can't be much help with the horses issue but I do hope you feel better about things soon x
 
Just wanted to say thanks for everyone's replies - all of your experiences have been very interesting to read. I'm very glad I posted now. I think I will definitely be giving my challenging youngster some time off and restart her in the spring and as for the rest, I will perhaps keep the one I want to hunt fit enough to go and then see how I feel. My boyfriend came to watch me ride for the first time yesterday and this helped as I felt like I had a job to do - show a non horsey person horsey things. He was scared of even going near them and didn't know how I could "shush" them away from the gate with a hand gesture without touching them so that was quite interesting as when all of your friends have horses, it's really odd to imagine things from a non horsey person's perspective so "showing off how safe one of them was" for 15 minutes was an activity. He worries about me riding (falls etc), so I just messed about one one of my more established horses (no reins) etc and watched him marvel at how it "just stood there". Quite amazing to think he didn't even realise how I was going to attempt to mount a horse with several mountain blocks very close to where I tack up... LOL
 
I think you underestimate just how hard it can be to keep going on your own. Sometimes it's nice for the quiet but what is nice about having to go and work your horses, on your own, in the dark and cold. I need an objective to keep me motivated and this year, I have moved to a small professional yard with the most amazing facilities for a would be eventer. I can still vary my work as have access to gallops as well as the schools. Let's say it...it can get really BORING in the winter. And riding can become a chore.

So don't beat yourself up and feel guilty. Yes, chuck your youngster away to have a break, focus on the horse (s) you are doing things with and rest the others. Hunting has given you a goal so find another one, stick a post up on here for a competition buddy, have a hunt for someone who is training as a one off for a different view, maybe find someone who will hack and (if you have transport) box over somewhere different and safe.
 
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