my daughter had a very bad accident, broken femurs.. help please

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Thank you so much for the support. My daughter is still in this induced coma, she had surgery again: 10 screws and a plate in her back and they did surgery on her right femur because she has infection. I have a daily appointment with a psychiatrist to help me mentally because seeing my only child in this situation is so hard, I can't take it alone I have to talk to someone about it. The surgeon said that they are going to wake her up very soon and I don't know how she is going to react, I want her to be awake because seeing her in a coma is hard but I don't want her to suffer... It is going to be very difficult for her because she's not really allowed to move...
If someone know how I can help her when she is going to be awake, please tell me
 

honetpot

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I have worked in intensive care, and have a bit of experience of childs ITU. When she comes off the ventilator if they are not assessing her head injury she may be still be fairly drowsy from the pain medication, they will want to keep her pain free to enable to more as much as possible although her movement will be restricted.
I would take simple things for her to do and see. There may be restrictions on toys, as for infection control they have to be easily cleanable. The boy I know who fell off his pony and broke his back had a picture of his pony at the end of the bed and the rosette he won that day, his dad was not pleased, but until the accident he had had a lovely day. In some respects I think you just have answer questions simply and not worry her with your fears. She may have no memory of the accident so I would concentrate on the future, keeping her engaged and motivated. Think about how her favourite clothes can be adapted to cover her casts when she starts getting up, get a catalogue and look for something new to wear, music etc. One child I looked after loved John Travalota(70's) ,so we had all his pictures pinned round her bed, his name was the first thing she said after her accident when she came out of ITU. Its too soon to worry about what the long term consequences are, think a day at a time, you may in turmoil inside but children do heal well, and adapt. I care for children who have life threatening/ limiting conditions and they are in a normal school and do all the ordinary school things.
Every parent feels guilt when their child is ill, even when the illness could not have been prevented. I think you need to get support from other parents, perhaps look for a local group. If its a good hospital there will be some sort of specialist nurses who liaise with parents, depending what continuing care she needs. Birmingham Children's Hospital have some excellent information for parents, specialist teams have Twitter accounts so you can get general information and advice without being a patient.https://twitter.com/Bham_Childrens
I would have a look at your nearest specialist children's hospital and see what support groups they have. You are going to have a busy time, its the unknowing thats the hard bit.
 

attheponies

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Just wanted to say thinking of you and your daughter. I'm a mum and can only imagine what you are going through. Every time my kids fell off a pony I felt racked with guilt for introducing them to riding. Keeping everything crossed for you.
 

Spiritedly

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10 screws and a plate sounds like her back injury must have been horrendous! When the swelling went down was it more serious than the surgeon on Christmas day thought? Hopefully there will be no other complications and they will be able to wake her up soon. I think having a hurt or sick child and being unable to help is every parents worse nightmare.
 

ycbm

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Honetpot, the OP has never mentioned a head injury, I don't think?

CS, It's not necessarily quite as bad as it sounds. I have seven screws in a straightforward broken arm.

Chyrti, why are you alone? Where is/are your husband and your daughter's father? I'm glad you have been able to find a therapist who is able to see you every day (not a psychiatrist, surely?, they deal with mental illness, not support of the kind you need) but it's no substitute for people who you are in a close relationship with. Have you no other family to support you?

I'm sure you will have better news soon.
 

Leo Walker

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I think you are rather an unkind person and am glad I don't have contact with you in real life.

So, you are basically taking out your own frustrations and insecurities on a person who may or may not have a child in a life-threatening condition. Not really very nice, is it?

You are asking for links to prove who they are?? What sort of person are you?? Why they hell does it matter anyway to you? If you think they are lying, then ignore it, you have got nothing to lose??

Outrageous....I take people here at face value, if it turns out they are having a spot of fun, I shrug and move on.

Good god, go find something more interesting to do than start splitting hairs!
Couldnt agree more!


Either the OP is genuine in which case she has my sympathy or she is a troll in which case she also has my sympathy. Simple.
It takes the same length of time to post some support as it does to try & annihilate a poster's character. Go easy folks.
This!

A medically induced coma is an excellent tool that many medics use in many situations the benefits outway the risks hugely- not sure where you heard the risks are to great for them to do so ycbm.
She heard about the risks when she was doing her extensive medical training. The same medical training that shes using to continue her snide questioning.

For the record when I smashed myself to pieces I posted on a forum very soon afterwards. In fact when I was in the initial assessment phase in A&E I dictated some emails to a friend, which were sent out to people letting them know I'd had an accident. I was in a hell of a state but it helped me by giving me something to focus on and making me feel I was doing something when I felt so very helpless. I'm pretty sure in the OPs shoes I'd be doing similar.

I really hope your daughter recovers. Its going to be hard, but you will be able to get through this and there will be better things on the other side no matter what the outcome :)
 

honetpot

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How long is 'quite a while'? It's been a whole day now and I've read that keeping patients in an induced coma is very dangerous. Perhaps you are talking about heavy sedation and not an induced coma with bare minimum brain function?

Would they operate on broken legs on Christmas day, six days after they were broken? OP said the surgeon said her spinal cord was fine, so I assumed it was a spine op as she didn't mention the legs, and it was so serious they did it on Christmas day.

I'm sure we'll get a more promising update soon. Children heal fast.
Patients are sedated and ventilated for more than one reason, and the amount and type of sedation varies but most people are unconscious or they 'fight' the ventilator. You can also set the ventilator so it allows the patient to breath and the ventilator assists the breathing but its usual to put them fully unconscious, as at the start its easier to regulate and make sure they are getting enough oxygen. Being on a ventilator should be seen as part of the treatment, in larger hospitals there will be a lot of ventilated patients, and shouldn't always be seen has how ill they are, if you have major planned surgery you will be taken to ITU for a visit pre op to meet the nurses so when you wake up there you will know what to expect. Patients are constantly monitored and unlike what you see on TV they are never left alone.

Peoples injuries are treated in an order that treats the most life threatening first. To take someone to theatre they in an ideal situation should be stable unless not operating would make their condition worse, its quite common for fractures, to be further down the to do list if they have been assessed and immobilised. Over Christmas there would be emergency cover in theatre and it may be she was stable and a theatre time spare as there were not many cases on the emergency list, or its was just their first opportunity to do it, who knows. Most theatres in big hospitals work 24/7 with emergency lists.

By the sounds of it she is getting good treatment and when they start to wean her off the ventilator she will remember nothing and can start working towards getting well under her own steam.
 

mytwofriends

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Be strong for your daughter, OP. Children are remarkable healers, and there's nothing more healing than a mother's love. Remember to look after yourself too.
 

popsdosh

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Couldnt agree more!






This!



She heard about the risks when she was doing her extensive medical training. The same medical training that shes using to continue her snide questioning.

For the record when I smashed myself to pieces I posted on a forum very soon afterwards. In fact when I was in the initial assessment phase in A&E I dictated some emails to a friend, which were sent out to people letting them know I'd had an accident. I was in a hell of a state but it helped me by giving me something to focus on and making me feel I was doing something when I felt so very helpless. I'm pretty sure in the OPs shoes I'd be doing similar.

I really hope your daughter recovers. Its going to be hard, but you will be able to get through this and there will be better things on the other side no matter what the outcome :)
You are getting sucked in by the thread into perpetuating a personal Vendetta Why? They are legitimate questions as there are glaring inconsistencies which I wont elaborate on because this is not the place.

The one positive so far even though their daughter is so ill (I wish them well) is their English has improved beyond recognition!
 
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SpringArising

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Chyrti, I would love to offer you my genuine concern and support, so can you help me here?

Please forgive me if this upsets you. I would like nothing better than to offer you support and ask you to update us on your daughter's progress. But we do get some horrible people on this forum who find it fun to upset others Right now I can't be sure that you aren't one of them.

I understand that you probably have better things to do, but can you please help me out here?
Please Chyrti, convince me you are for real
YCBM you are coming across as a bit strange. I don't understand why this is so important to you.

I do think that it's worth taking a step back and asking why anyone gets SO involved with a poster they haven't met, that they'd feel anything other than a bit bemused if it turned out to be something other than 100% genuine?
Makes you wonder!
 

Leo Walker

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You are getting sucked in by the thread into perpetuating a personal Vendetta Why? They are legitimate questions as there are glaring inconsistencies which I wont elaborate on because this is not the place.
I dont have a personal vendetta. That doesnt mean I cant actively dislike the way some people behave. But I wont be getting sucked in.

The main point of my post was to share my experience with a vaguely similar thing.
 

ycbm

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Can I please ask people to note that they are writing about posts which are yonks old, that the thread had moved on from ages ago?

Honetpot, thank you for that explanation, it was interesting. But you didn't notice that I had already accepted that the post you quoted was misinformed and the thread had moved on long ago.

FrankieCob, I would appreciate it if you could either take me off user ignore, or stop posting about things that other people have responded to that you have never seen and that I corrected a long time ago. I'm sure someone else will pass this message to you for me.

I find it very interesting how this thread seems to have become more about me than a sick child and a distraught parent. I did not ask for this and I do not want it. If the situation is for real, then this must be incredibly hurtful to the OP to have this dragged up again when she had ignored it and moved on from it and posted further updates.

It is you people who are picking up old posts and repeating them that are causing this hurt, not me.
 

SpringArising

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I find it very interesting how this thread seems to have become more about me than a sick child and a distraught parent. I did not ask for this and I do not want it. If the situation is for real, then this must be incredibly hurtful to the OP to have this dragged up again when she had ignored it and moved on from it and posted further updates.

It is you people who are picking up old posts and repeating them that are causing this hurt, not me.
You didn't seem to care when you were questioning her motives and posts over and over!
 

marotelle

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<<<<this...
This is a strange forum. So judgmental and quick to shout troll one minute and the next offering all the support in the world to a total stranger.

Be kind people, it may well be a true post. Who knows. It doesn't hurt to show a little compassion sometimes.. if you feel this poster is a troll then ignore the thread rather than risk upsetting someone in such a horrific situation.
 
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Hello everyone,
It's been a very long time since I posted the last update but I wanted to let you know that my daughter is doing well, she is at home and we are taking care of her. She still is in a wheelchair but she is on the road to full recovery. She is slowly learning how to walk again, we are hoping to see her walking on her own in a few month. She is going to school every day and she is working really hard with the physiotherapist to get better.

I really wanted to thank everybody that wrote kind messages of support back in december when I was so afraid and lonely. Thank you so much.
 

Fiona

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How lovely to get an update, thank you OP and best wishes to you and your daughter for her continued recovery x x

Fiona
 

Ladyinred

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Hello everyone,
It's been a very long time since I posted the last update but I wanted to let you know that my daughter is doing well, she is at home and we are taking care of her. She still is in a wheelchair but she is on the road to full recovery. She is slowly learning how to walk again, we are hoping to see her walking on her own in a few month. She is going to school every day and she is working really hard with the physiotherapist to get better.

I really wanted to thank everybody that wrote kind messages of support back in december when I was so afraid and lonely. Thank you so much.
How strange. I was wondering about this earlier today.. and here you are.

All best wishes for a continued recovery. x
 

marotelle

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Oh good, I am glad your daughter is better,thank you for updating us and I hope
the road to recovery will not be to lengthy.
 
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