My daughter has lost her confidence.......

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Razzel_Dazzel

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My eight year old daugter has lost her confidence after a fall in which she broke her arm. She is desperate to ride, however as soon as we get to the riding school she becomes very nervous and has in her lessons requested to get off before the lesson has finished, and ended up in tears
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.I have asked her if she wants to leave riding for a while and restart when she's older but she doesn't concider this as an option as she loves being around the yard and all the horses.
Has any one any idea's or had a child who has experienced the same problems.Any advice would be fab xx
 
my son lost his confidence at 6 but not to this extent. At the time we were searching for a pony and he just decided one day he'd like to try one of the ponies and it went from there.

Anyway, personally I would let her be around ponies and ride if she chooses to. See if she can choose which pony to ride, as she may find she has a better 'bond' with one certain pony. Don't push her to ride, let her go at her own pace. If she just wants to groom for the next year, then so be it.
If she wants to ride, then chooses to get off, let her. Gradually she'll go for longer and longer before she wants to get off.

Perhaps some private lessons first on the lead rein and on the lunge, just say 10 minutes to start with would do her good?
 
If all she wants to do for now is go to the yard and groom the ponies then let her , once she has bonded with one of them she will ask to ride . Better that it is her idea . Does she really need a lesson right now or could she just have a little wander down the lane or round a field . my son retired from riding a 8 , but I still kept the ponies (cos I loved them so much) , he started again at 11 ,his idea , and now at 14 is driving me mad as all he wants to do is ride , she has all the time in the world.
 
Let her be around the horses but take the pressure off the riding side. When she's ready she will start nagging you to ride again.
This what my parents did to me when I was a kid. I fell off and got trodden and while I desperately wanted to be around the horses I didn't want to ride and the more pressured I felt to ride my pony the worse I got and the more upset I became. My mum and dad totally backed up off with no mention of selling my pony if I didn't ride it (which they had previously threatened to do which left me devastated
frown.gif
) So I groomed and mucked out, cleaned tack and basically did everything but ride. And a couple of months later I was fed up off seeing my friends ride and I was soon asking to hop on at the end of lessons and have a walk round and gradually I was riding for longer and longer till eventually I was back on board and charging round. I was never very brave (still not, if anything I am more windy now than then!) but I loved my pony and didn't want to give up I just needed time.
Hope she's back on board soon
x
 
I would suggest a few half hour individual lessons on her favorite (quiet) riding school pony with a kind but firm instructor she knows and likes.

I had a similar problem with my 11 yo this easter holidays (I had the advert written to sell the pony, who was chucking her off at every possible opportunity and her confidence was almost non-existent, getting very close to the point where she would refuse to get back on). The first lesson included tears, but ended well, the following two went exceptionally well and the confidence is back on track again. 3 lessons was all it took. He just needed clear instructions from his rider!
With an individual lesson the instructor can also see exactly what the pony is doing too - perhaps the pony is doing something in the lesson which unsettles her and makes her want to get off?
 
When I was 8 I fell off and broke my arm. Just like your daughter I was in tears and all my confidence had gone, terrified to ride off the leadrein (tho I had been for years by then) and hanging on to the front of the saddle for dear life.
My Dad (who can be brutal at times!!) said 'either get on and ride properly, or I will never bring you again' . This worked for me, the desire to ride outweighed the fear of falling off! So I got back on and did it. I am sure many will not agree with this rather abrupt approach, but here I am today, still doing it!!
 
poor kid. can she go out hacking on a leadrein etc to get her out of a school environment - I used to hate lessons as a kid and would always badger my mum to book hacks for me instead! x
 
I agree, let her just be around the ponies at the moment and only ride if she wants to. The most important thing is that she doesnt suffer another fall in the near future as that will finish her confidence off so pick a pony to ride carefully!
 
I lost my confidence aged 17 (yes 17 *hangs head in shame*) and didn't get on a horse for 4 years. Suddenly decided I wanted to ride again at whatever cost, found a horse I just clicked with and there's been no stopping me! My 13yr old sister lost her confidence after a horrible accident, but her attitude is now 'i'm just as likely to get run over and killed by a bus so I may as well just get on anything!'

I think a suitable pony that she just gets on with, a good and patient instructor, and taking it steadily and not pushing her too hard should do the trick. Good luck
 
A girl of the same age who rides at the yard where pickle is kept has had a simular experience to get her over it, we first juat took her on a few mini hacks with someone leading her, then she was taken for walks round the school still on the lead rein, then had a trot on the lead rein. Then begun lunge lessons, she is now happy as can be and has re gained her confidence, allthough she rides the same pony almost every week at the moment. Also she is allowed to groom the pony just to help her gain trust in the pony again

Forgot to mention the same pony she fell off of is the one thats helped her regain her confidence! Also trying to play a few little games is always fun and helps them forget about the fear for example we used to sing head shoulders knees toes and make her do it on horse back worked a treat
 
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