My god they make me so cross!!! RANT ALERT

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Lill

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Liveries again, the re using Holly post.

B has given them my number so they could ask me about Hollys tack.

Said that i have it and would speak to them about it tomorrow night.

Just got a reply saying 'will you bring the tack with you thurs eve. Please.'
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Ahem who do they think they are?!
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Its NOT THEIR PONY OR THEIR TACK but they act like it is.
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I won't be bringing it with me tomorrow (thurs) and will be telling them why i haven't.

Though i can see myself exploding right now as i'm very cross about it all.
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they really are trying to take the p**s arent they!

I think you need to explain to B about the problems too as she doesnt seem to want much to do with it?

good luck!!
 
It's B who would be making me cross

B must rule either they can or cannot use the pony
and tell all concerned parties.
 
He won't though!

Hence why they are now on to me!

He knows full well i have the tack and the reasons why but won't say that, denies all knowledge and just sends them to ask me so i have to deal with it instead.
 
Makes me more cross because i thought the liveries were life long friends of B and OH and this is why they didn't want to say anything to them that may cause an argument but NO turns out they met said liveries by chatting to them at a dressage show less than a year ago.
 
Sounds like someone needs to grow a pair!!!

I agree, it;s B that should be telling them instead of you having to deal with all the hassle. He isn't being clear with either party. Maybe he does want them to still use her but doesn't want to tell you, or maybe he doesn't and doesn't want to tell the liveries. Either way, its him that needs to communicate more clearly. This is his responsibility, not yours.
 
As I understand it, B owns the horse, you (kind of) loan it for free and have no formal arrangement, and in fact will be sharing it with the owner when it is broken to drive.
this being the case you really have no say over what happens with the horse, and I would suggest that taking the tack home is a step too far. If B has a problem with it, it is for them to put a stop to it.

You might be better off sharing a different horse with somebody else whose thought and methods are more in tune with yours, and having a proper contract.

If you look at this from the other side amd imagine yourself posting for a moment, it would read like 'YO has said I can use their pony for lessons, but some other livery at the yard has taken it into their head to be difficult, even though it isn't their horse, and now is taking the tack home' - you can imagine the flood of support that kind of post might bring.

You are in a no win situation.
 
I think i'll have to call B later or tomorrow before i speak to liveries and make sure he will back up what i say to them.

B just wants an easy life though. Doesn't want to get involved in things like this. His attitude is, just wait till Holly bucks or rears their son off and he wont want to ride her then.
 
Have to say agree with Watcher im afriad
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Maybe its time to find another horse for loan which you can do more on, compeition wise etc and no run the risk of loads of other people using them....
 
Completely agree and it is what I was sort of hinting at yesterday.

And also don't you think that when B starts using the pony for driving this will also affect her schooling!

Maybe time for you to move on?
 
We've been through this all before with Holly though, she was used for a lesson a week a couple of years back and every time i rode her i would sort our problems and bad habits she'd got from the lesson only to find they were back again the next week after she'd been used for a lesson again! Never ending cycle of never progressing anywhere except backwards.

Upshot of that was the person who was using her for lessons left the yard in the end.

Now its a re run of that again.

Thing is because she is so sweet and quiet (its a front!) people assume she is good for beginners but she's not because she's crafty and quickly picks up bad habits.

Words can't describe how much it annoys and frustrates me.

Also she was doing mini rears and bouncing on the spot with me on Sunday - why in hell would you put a beginner on a pony that does that?
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Difficult situation you are in, is there no way you can get something in writing that you "loan" the horse. If you are having lessons, competing etc you are investing time and money to ultimately improve the horses value. There are plenty of people in your area that would like help with their horses so I'm sure it wouldn't take you long to find another to share.
 
Do you put in all the work for the horse? I who mucks out/turns out and feeds etc? Do you pay any bills ie farrier? Is it your tack? Do they pay anything for using the horse?

Then have a word with B and say look - I feel I'm wating my time doing x y z and paying for a b c if they are using the horse for nothing and undoing my work. Either they need to be told by you not to use that horse so what I'm doing is worthwhile, or maybe I should look at walking away and finding another horse to ride elsewhere And say its not that you don;t appreciate all they have done letting you ride Holly, but that its wasting everyones time and money if these people are giving her bad habits, and that it won't help her being broklen to drive either if she's picking up bad habits being ridden.

If B isn't prepared to back you over them - then walk away.
 
We've 4 horses that are in at night at the moment, i do them and put them to bed etc Weds-Sun and B does them on Mon and Tues as i am not there those days.

This is how it has been for 5 years now, i do them when B and family are away and he does mine (Blue and Holly) when i am away.

Most of it is my tack on Blue and Holly yes.

I do have Blue still so won't be walking away from there but maybe from Holly much to my disgust if this continues. They are using her for nothing, 2/3 times a week.

I will be really upset actually if B decides to go with them over me, 5 years i've been there and known B and family these people have less than a year in comparison and B has admitted to me they drive him potty.
 
This is exactly why I'd never ride/look after/share/loan ANY HORSE. The bottom line is that the horse is not yours therefore this is the type of cr*p you have to be prepared to put up with.

You're better off buying your OWN horse. No one to undo your work and schooling, interfere etc. Nothing worse than getting attached to a horse you don't own only to watch things you don't like happening.
 
You are always going to be taken advantage of unless you get something sorted out formally. If its your tack take it home and keep it there, then you can always say you don't like other people using your stuff..
 
They are very pushy people.

They moved our Dales mare into their field after using her for a bit.... and still have her despite not using her - this however, we don't mind as she is pretty much retired.

They wanted to move Holly into their field also but B said no she is foster mum to the babies and that is where she is staying.
 
Is Blue your own?
And you pay livery for him?
If so, then just focus on him.
And as above suggestion re discussion with B re a
'me or them' for Holly?
 
Will call B tonight i think
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Will post outcome of that tomorrow... but won't speak to liveries until tomorrow night. B will most likely say 'whatever you want' like his answer to most things.
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Who does the dales mare belong to? you? Or when you say ours do you mean B's? I think perhaps its all getting a bit intertwined, at the end of the day I understand that you are putting alot of work in with these horses but if B owns them then his word is final i'm afraid. With the tack that you own you have every right to take it home but if what ever B owns I think you are going to have to let the liveries use if that is what B wants. At the end of the day disregarding all the work you have put in you and the other liveries have the same claim to holly given that B has given you both permission to ride her.
 
That sounds like a nightmare, and this sort of situation is why I moved stables and am incredibly fussy about who I let get on my horse. Definitely talk to B about it, be as blunt as you can so there's no way the message can be misinterpreted. Everyone knows from one situation or another how infuriating it is to be always sorting out problems caused by someone else and to be putting in so much work and seemingly getting nowhere. Surely if B realises there is a potential safety risk to the person using Holly, yourself, and even B when you start breaking her to drive it will give a kick up the backside to be more assertive over the situation and stop palming it off to you to sort out. If there was an accident it would be so expensive, money often talks more than common sense
 
Dales mare isn't 'actually' mine or B's she is owned by B's friend who just left her with us one day as she was no use to him anymore (too old to breed from).

It is a blo0dy nightmare. One thats completely stressing me out too.

B said to me after the last hoo ha with previous livery, not to let him agree to having anymore people as liveries and next thing i know these two appeared! Short lived.
 
I don't understand how it has got to this stage, they obviously don't realise you don't want them to use your horse as they would hardly text about the tack if they did. Why have you allowed them to ride your horse if you don't want them to? If someone rode my horse without my permission they certainly woudn't make the same mistake again. If you have been letting them ride and have now decided you don't want them to then you must be firm and clear with them , there is no point in being vague with them and taking the tack home and then complaining on here that they are still using her. Tell them no and then it should be the end of it.
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And if it is not your horse but one YOU are sharing then of course there is nothing you can do about who shares the animal the rest of the time.
 
All sounds very odd to me. B either is rather odd and not able to make his wishes clear - or things aren't quite as you post. Or B just doesn't care.

Perhaps these people have taken the Dales mare under their wing because (as you say) she's not wanted, and they feel sorry for her. No one has stopped them, so they are giving her some tlc and treating her as their own????

So strange......
 
B just wants an easy life and doesn't see the extent of the problems with Holly because he does not ride her or anything.

Dales mare was just out in the field 24/7 with the other 2 welsh d's (mums of the babies) doing nothing so they seem to have adopted her, which is fine, no problem with that as she doesn't do much apart from the occasional hack or plod around the school and she is too set in her ways to be changed at all (she's roughly 25yo), Holly however is only 8yo and easily influenced by what she thinks she can get away with.
 
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