My husband hates my horses

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millyspaniel

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My OH hates me having the horses, he hates the amount of time i spend with them and hates that they cost, he hates the fact that they "churn" up the field (despite the fact that he has 3 pigs who do permanent damage to said field when they escaped) its causing a real problem in our relationship, since ive had them (back in may,) he has gone really tight money wise. Now i have found myself a job so will be paying there way but still, he really hates them
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he turned round to me the other day and said, remember your life does not revolve around them!! - er hello?? what else does he want me to do all day, sit in and do husework and wait on him hand and foot?? i dont think so.
Who else has this problem?
 
I'm sorry that you are having problems , For me my husband knows that horses where in my life before he came along, He respects that, Of course he will still moan about them and go on about how much they cost etc etc .


Like I said though he respects me enough to know that horses are part of my life whether he is in it or not .

My mare keeps me sane you see
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How long are you married ? and did you have the horses before he came along ?

Col x
 
Oh so he is allowed pigs but you are not allowed horses?? Hmm..
Maybe you should spend a week being a spendaholic Lady who Lunches and see how he likes those eggs!
I bet he is not just miserable about horses....
 
My oh not so bad as yours but we are suffering with recession like lots of others and hubby not to impressed with money I spend on my horse.Had bad year and spent thousands on vets bills to the extent that I had to give one away as companion .He would be a lot happier if I didnt have one but I cant live without horse so hes just had to accepted it.
My wardrobe has suffered
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and we are both working to make ends meet but it comes with the territory.
 
Had horses all my life, am 28 now. When we first got together 7 years ago i didnt have a horse, then about 3 yrs into our relationship i started helping my mum with her cob. Then we moved here - shropshire (horsey heaven, everyone has one and the hacking is fantastic) he is from here already so he wanted to move back, i agreed so long as i could have a horse. That was a year ago and 4 horses later
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i couldnt be happier when am down the field with them, problem is its his field he inherited and i know if things where to end there would be no field and it would be difficult to afford to keep them
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am just trying to grin and bear it but its hard when hes so unreasonable and nasty
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we also have 2 children who attend school - i just dont want to be in the situation where i would have to sell them. Theres no way i would part with my coblet and my TB
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If things got bad though i would sell the ponies and keep the coblet and tb at a nearby yard and struggle! or if really really bad i could always loan them out untill i could afford them again.
 
So does mine. Mainly cos our daughter also enjoys riding, so we are not at home much. I only have to work because he refuses to pay fo the horse - we have our own land so horse doesn;t cost much, but husband will not help in any way shape or form. I had to get a loan out to buy my horsebox, as I didn't have enough savings - even though he could have brought the box outright several times over, he refused to help me.
I had horses before I met him, so he knew what life was like, but he hates me having a life of my own- which it essentially is- and not being tied to the kitchen sink. Makes life hard. He will come and watch our daughter at times, but grudgingly and she gets very upset that he isn;t interested in what she is doing....
 
i'm single but any bloke i met would have to realise that my horse is massive part of my life, my ex hated my horse he was always saying i spent way to much time with my horse and that i loved my horse more than i loved him (he was right) etc. hugs to you hun tell him to get a grip x
 
Poor you. I bet he'd change his mind if you was out shopping every weekend though.
My hubby married me.... and the horse, I had horses before I met him so its all hes known, also he likes me having a horse as it gives him a free rein to play golf. He reckons if the horse went, then we would probably go the same way as my horse keeps me sane too. I think our relationship is stronger as we have our own hobbies so dont live in each others pockets.
 
Have you talked about this with him? Actually raised the issue. Maybe he just needs reassurance that yes they are very important to you but hes still number 1 in your life.

I think its hard for other halves as lets face it we usually come in late, smelling and talk about them CONSTANTLY! "oh you never guess what he did today..." and they really probably don't care and would like to talk about their day too. It must seem that our whole lives actually just revolve around them (ok even if he's right and your life does). and hes right, they do cost a lot
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try to be understand how he feels and talk to him about how upsetting you find him being upset about them.
 
Doesnt he have a hobby hun? If he hasnt, get him one!!
My other half loves off roading, so all the time he doesnt moan about time spent with horses and mud, i dont moan about time he spends with trucks and mud! x
 
I have the same problem, though after the six years they've been kept at home he's getting a bit better. Now that my youngest child also has a pony he's more tolerant. Luckily, he rarely ventures down to the yard, so I have free rein down there.

If the horses went life would be very dull for me, so i think it would be even more unbearable for him as he'd have a frustrated & unhappy wife.

When they first came home he kept asking me when was I coming in - that seriously drove me mad. I think he was jealous that I'd rather spend my time with them!
 
My husband was great with the horses originally - now he hates them, the time and money they cost - yet when I'm at home he ignores me and sits on his X-box. As said - they were here before he was and they'll be here if he leaves - he knows where the door is. I love my horses like my family, they're my friends, confidantes and soulmates. Dont get me wrong - I know they're horses and treat them with respect as such animals but I don't truly feel alive unless I'm with them. Sad but true. I think he's slowly accepting it, he will do them if i'm ill but other than that he wont have anything to do with them and unfortunately for him, our daughter is as obsessed as me!
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I don't think I'd want a man like that in my life. He sounds very controlling. Is he older than you? As far as I see it, a relationship with common interests is good, as is a relationship where you see each other as equals, with equal right to enjoyment, and you help each other. My OH isn't really that interested in horses but is going to fit out the living of my horsebox when I get it, built me a field shelter, etc.

OTOH 4 horses is an awful lot, I wouldn't like 4 myself, and perhaps he sees it as spiralling out of control a bit. Especially if he's been paying for their keep before now.
 
[ QUOTE ]
I'm sorry that you are having problems , For me my husband knows that horses where in my life before he came along, He respects that, Of course he will still moan about them and go on about how much they cost etc etc .


Like I said though he respects me enough to know that horses are part of my life whether he is in it or not .

My mare keeps me sane you see
grin.gif


How long are you married ? and did you have the horses before he came along ?

Col x

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I am exactly as collen,horse was there yrs before he was,and he knows that after 9yrs of having it drilled into him
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However he has helped me out no end with him and does come to comps with me etc,so probably not quite as bad as some!
But he does know that h will come out on top every time
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My OH didn't want me to get the baggage but I did it anyway
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Naughty I know but if I had waited as long as he wanted me to wait before getting a horse then I would be in my dotage which would have been totally pointless. I want to enjoy a horse while I'm still able

I *think* he's coming around now (from April). He has given me lifts to the yard when my car has been out of action and even been in to see her and given her a scratch

Theres hope yet
 
I think it is the whole time spending thing, i just wish he would get a hobby! i did ask him once too help me with the coblet, i couldnt get a halter on her when i first got her and he really didnt want to do it but he did. Another time he had to do them whilst i went on a hen do with his sister to france for the weekend, never again was what he said when i returned.
I would hate life without my horses, my kids can take them or leave them, there not really bothered about them but am hoping when they get a little older they will have the same enthusism as me, there 4 (girl) and 6(boy). All his family are the same, they hate horses.
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all my family up north have horses from my mum to my nan to my cousins to my auntys. A very horsey family, the OH cant understand it
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Its good to hear that am not the only one with a non horsey man!
 
My OH tries to understand and tolerate them but sometimes he lets slip how frustrating he finds horses
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- they are a huge burden on time and finances but I think what he hates most is that I appear to PREFER being at the stables up to my ears in s**t than spending time at home with him
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er hello?? what else does he want me to do all day, sit in and do housework and wait on him hand and foot?? i dont think so.
Who else has this problem?

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Well yes, that's probably what he DOES want!!!
I'd tell him to get a hobby of his own, but my immediate response was to tell him to **** off!!
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I had a BF who wasn't fond of the horses but he didn't last long! Current BF has even more horses than I do!
 
He sounds a right meanie, us blokes are normally ok if kept looked after in the bedroom dept, wear him out regularly so he is too knackered to complain about anything, not just horses.
 
I have to admit that my husband by no means loves my horses, but when I went down to 0 a few years ago due to finances - he soon helped me get another lol!
He loathes helping (I think) and is very limited in what he will do - but that said its my choice to have them.
The amount of money they cost is likely to cause rifts in a relationship if the other party is not equally minded - so I am sure you starting to pay for them will be a great help. Also to encourage him to have his own interests is a great idea.
 
From the other side - as an OH - I do sometimes resent the donkey.

Why? Because the kids still need fed, the house still needs to be kept clean (or not filthy at least), the school runs still need to be done, along with the food shopping, and the garden needs done and the cars need serviced and I have my own demanding job to do all around this ....

And one partner goes offf and spends hours and hours with said donkey.

Just as well I have two of my own then...
 
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