My new horse... What a mare! Frustrated and feeling helpless!

[Carryonriding]

Hi all... Long story but here goes..


I have just taken on a 13 year old fresian X mare, although she is not new to me as I've known her for about a year ( including riding and seeing to her etc) in her old home. She spent the last 6 years sharing with a 2 year old gelding who she was the boss of, and she was living a laid back relaxed life, being ridden perhaps once a month if that. She got first dibs on most things and she was happy this way! But the owner regretfully had to sell her through no fault of her own.

So now she has moved to me and has found herself at the bottom of the pecking order below a 7 yo gelding and a 20 yo mare. She has been bitten a few times and gets chased off when food is about. For the first couple of days she was a real sweetie, just like her normal self. Then one day I bought her in to groom her and pick her feet out, and wow did she object to the latter. Front two feet were fine, back feet she started twitching and threatening to kick. I didn't want her to completely get away with this so I made her move her feet about a bit and got her to step back using the parelli porcupine game and yield her hindquarters using the driving game. I then attempted to pick her hooves and she cow bucked at me, catching me on the hand. Later on I was going to attempt some join up with her so I went to bring her in to the round pen and she planted the floor. Eventually she became so adamant she almost started to have a stand off with me and attempted to charge at me, I cracked a lunge whip and she backed off but she pinned her ears back and tried to chase me off. Now I know I should have persisted but I have to admit I was becoming petrified of her.

Now it has got so bad that I can't even groom her or catch her, she pins her ears at me and kicks with her hinds if I dare present a brush or a halter. Even if I approach her in the field she pins her ears back when I stroke her.

I will just reiterate that I have spent the last year riding her, grooming and picking her feet out with no problems at all. Now she is like the devil incarnate!


My reasonings for her behaviour are
1. She's extremely stressed and unsettled in her new home
2. She is attempting to dominate me because she is a dominant horse and has been knocked to the bottom of the pecking order in her new herd.
3. Importantly, she came into season like there was no tomorrow when she moved, this has worn off now but I know it could have seriously affected her mood.

What is the best course of action baring in mind I can't even catch her without her threatening me? I will admit I am scared of her behaviour! I am first time horse owner, other than a vary laid back part loaner. I don't want to give up on her I am frustrated and feeling helpless.

 

[Kallibear]

All three of your suggestions are correct. And add 'she's learnt she can' to your list.

She's a dominate mare who's quickly learnt who wears the trousers in your relationship and like many, is a bully and quite happy to tell you to F off. As far as she's concerned you're just an annoyance and she doesn't need or want your attention. It's really common so don't worry, it's not just you!

You need to re instated who's actually in charge. As you've found out, Join Up and all the parelli nonsense is useless without the right timing and body language and doing it incorrectly just pisses them off. It gives you an ABC manual to try and follow but isn't much use if your general training and timing lacks experience.

I, like many, could give you a long lists of things I would do with her but if you try to apply them and potentially get it wrong, it could end up very dangerous.

You need to get help with this mare. Someone on the ground making sure your timing is exact. There are quite a few people who could help you. It doesn't really matter what 'school' of training they use as long as they're competent at what they do. If you say where you are, someone could suggest somebody.

In the meantime please be careful and wear a hat when near her at all times.

 

[squidsin]

Get a calmer and add it to the food - I use the Naf Magic one and it's made a big difference to my mare. She has never been vicious but she was terrified and spooky when I first got her, and because of that, still potentially a bit dangerous. I honestly thought the old owner must have drugged her when I tried her before buying, she seemed such a different horse. (Still not entirely sure that didn't happen, but that's another story!) Yielding their feet is a massive trust thing so it's not that surprising that she's reluctant to let you do it now she finds herself in a strange new environment. I'd also suggest cutting out any hard feed for now and just feeding hay and chaff if you need to. Could the old owner come and give you a hand with her, seeing as you're friends? Or have you got a helpful yard owner? Your new mare is almost definitely picking up on your lack of confidence and using it against you (mine did the same) so if you could have someone who knows their stuff with you initially, it will really help. If you're not at a yard with help, then that might be harder - personally as a novice owner, I felt I needed to be surrounded by lots of helpful, knowledgeable people! My horse was uncatchable at first too so I turned her out in a leather headcollar. (I still do as I am the only person who can catch her!) Things will improve as she settles in.

 

[ArabianBeauty]

I had a Parelli lesson once on pushing your horse away out of your space by putting your hands up in front of you and slightly moving them back and forward and sending the horse back with your energy. The lady teaching did it everytime perfectly. I tried it and the horse put its ears back and lunged at me ! The experts make it look so easy. I'd definitely get someone in to help but I wouldn't try it myself unless they were there aswell.

 

[putasocinit]

agree all the reasons, dont be scared, she isnt going to kill you she is just threatening and i am sure you could get out of the way if needed. Lunge get her out there and chase her on and then reward her by letting her rest and walk, then chase her on and then reward, she will soon realise you are the one who controls her feet and allow her to rest and she will respect you for that and focus on you. Agree give her a calmer for the first few days just in case. Check she isnt injured behind, knocked her feet or something that she is just not happy about you touching her, with being picked on she could have been hurt

 

[webble]

Ooo little madam my mare went through this last year, she was boss in the field and thought she could be boss of me. She wasn't hormonal but she was a bit stressy so a bit of Valerian worked for us. It might be worth you trying some Agnus castus to help control her hormones.

If she has got to the point where she is scaring you then I would suggest getting some help in to teach her her place again and help with manners. It is hard work though and you do have my sympathy

 

[Morgan123]

Poor you! Bt I disagree with what you said that you should have continued when the join up was going wrong. Join up can be incredibly dangerous and if the horse is reacting badly then under absolutely no circumstances should you carry on if so. Monty himself actually recommends using a lunge whip with a plastic bag tied to the end to scare the horse out (you tell me what's "natural" or "intelligent" about that - don't do it!!), but I think your horse is incredibly unsettled and so having you suddenly trying to boss her around too might have been the last straw. If I was hormonal, in a new place, not getting on with anyone, and then the one person who I DID know started bossing me about I'd be cross too ;-). Ok ok that's anthropomorphosising wildly but you get the idea. So I agree with all the above, do be firm and kind and consistent, but also just take your time with her and make friends with her (just by being with her, not by playing "look I'm the boss" games like Parelli or join up) and see how you get on. It's also a good idea to contact the previous owner if this carries on!

Good luck!

 

[Morgan123]

agree all the reasons, dont be scared, she isnt going to kill you she is just threatening and i am sure you could get out of the way if needed. Lunge get her out there and chase her on and then reward her by letting her rest and walk, then chase her on and then reward, she will soon realise you are the one who controls her feet and allow her to rest and she will respect you for that and focus on you. Agree give her a calmer for the first few days just in case. Check she isnt injured behind, knocked her feet or something that she is just not happy about you touching her, with being picked on she could have been hurt

Sorry, when I said I agree with all the above I don't mean I agree with this AT ALL! you can't just say 'I'm sure you can get out of he way if needed' when you have never seen this horse or owner! Even professional trainers get hurt playing that game. And what on earth is chasing her going to achieve? Certainly not any sort of relationship I would want with my horse, anyway (though maybe that's just me?!).

 

[webble]

Sorry, when I said I agree with all the above I don't mean I agree with this AT ALL! you can't just say 'I'm sure you can get out of he way if needed' when you have never seen this horse or owner! Even professional trainers get hurt playing that game. And what on earth is chasing her going to achieve? Certainly not any sort of relationship I would want with my horse, anyway (though maybe that's just me?!).

Not just you