My odd situation (long post!)

[SaffronWelshDragon]

Hi there everyone, I'm in a bit of an odd situation and I wonder if anyone has any suggestions which may help. Apologies for the length of the post, you're stars for reading my woes.

My 4 ponies are based in Meopham, Kent, in a 6 acre field which we rent. We've been there for 8 years or so and it's worked well for us. My sister is horsey and does half the work. July 2010 my OH and I bought our first house in Braintree, Essex. He works in the area and I work from home, so it made sense for me to go up there with him. There's no chance of him moving further south as his business is based in Essex. I knew what I was taking on when I moved up here, and that we'd have a job with the horses. At the time it made more sense to keep the horses where they were as my sister lives with my parents 20 minutes from the horses.

A year and a half on and I'm starting to struggle. Due to time and money I'm only able to get to the horses one weekend day and 2 week days per week. My sister does the remaining days. Even with this system, I'm forking out £200-£250 a month on diesel and Dartford crossing fees every month. The constant rise in diesel costs isn't helping matters, and I deliberately drive an economical 50mpg car. This coupled with the fact that ever since I was 11 (I'm 26 now) I've been used to looking after my girls every day, and riding as much as I could, means it's starting to grate on me, I miss them so much.

So what can I do? I dearly love the area here and have no doubt that this is my place and I'd like to stay in the villages of north Essex forever In which case it makes sense to move my girls up here with me. Now for the problems. Obviously my sister would be stuck in Kent, and would have to do the same drive I do and have the same expense, although I would be more than happy to do the horses every day, she would probably want to see them as I do. How do I square that with her, when it was my choice to move away? Secondly, there's no way I can afford to put 4 ponies on a livery yard (even if I could find somewhere with 4 spaces with I think is unlikely). We pay £200 a month for the field to give you an idea of cost. My girls have lived out for 8 years and though 2 of them could probably be stabled the other two wouldn't be happy. Next option would be to find another field to rent, and though I've not really looked, I don't know where I would start looking.

I could so easily give take Saffron (my Welsh D) and pop her on a livery yard up here, I could ride everyday, have loads of facilities (we have none presently) and could probably walk to see her in my lunch break. However what about the others? My sister's pony is 23, so not as young as she used to be and is happy hacking (but won't go out on her own). The other two are my first pony (who's 26 and very sprightly) and her friend, a Shetland. We don't do anything with the latter two mainly due to time and their diminutive height.

It feels good to write all this down. I know I've got myself into a difficult situation, but there must be some resolution. My remaining mince pies and cups of tea to any heroes who got this far!

 

[horseyperson]

You could put Saffron in a livery up near you and then find sharers for the others. That way at least they'll not just be sitting in a field. Either that or move them up to a field near you however then as you said your sister will be facing the same problem as you!
Hope it all works out

 

[Boxers]

Bit of a conundrum isn't it?

What if you move your riding horse to livery near you and leave the other 3 where they are for your sister. Could she find someone local to hack out with if her horse won't go by itself? Perhaps you could make a monetary contribution each month to your sister to help towards the keep of your old pony and the shetland?

I don't see that moving all four to Essex will help really as all you would be doing is reversing the problem, making it your sister's travelling problem instead of yours.

Most importantly, have you discussed this with her to see what she thinks about it?

Hope you can find a solution.

 

[Vixen Van Debz]

Sometimes when you write things down, you end up clarifying things in your own mind and even coming to an answer!

For me, it would depend on who paid the £200 and who owned the horses. If you pay the whole lot then it would be your decision: to get your sister's permission would be courteous and caring. If it's shared payment, then you may be limited to moving your riding mare.

If you do need your sister's permission, then I find that things work best when you have a solution to proffer, rather than just stating that things need to change. So, if you found land similarly priced but in a position that's a better compromise that may help. Hopefully other folk will know where you might begin such a search!

One of the joys of owning horses is being able to see them frequently, and to ride (when applicable). Whatever happens, don't deprive yourself of that!

 

[be positive]

Take your horse to live near you, the field space could be then available for someone to keep a horse for a reduced rent that will hack with your sister.
Financially you should both be no worse than now.

 

[SaffronWelshDragon]

Thanks for your quick replies. You're right, I do find it helps to write things down and get things off ones chest. Just to clarify, we split the field rent costs, plus most other costs. We tend to pay for our own bits for our own 2 riding mares. The other two are more our pets, we both pay for things for them. I'm not too worried about the two others, they're happy being retired and we take them for an occasional walk along the lanes.

I have gently put this to her, we're pretty close and she's knows the current situation isn't working for me. The more I think about it, the more taking Saffron with me and leaving the others makes more sense. Thing is, we both adore hacking together so that's the big problem really. We do see lots of people riding in the area, so potentially my sis could hook up with them, but no-one in the immediate area has horses so not sure. In which case maybe I could take both Saffron and Misty (my sister's girl) to Braintree, and look after the pair of them during the week, then my sis look after the other two. At the weekends she could come up and ride with me. Not sure how that will go down, but will mention it to her, you never know.