My othe half has his worries....

hannah9000

hannah9000

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We were talking last night, and my other half has revealed that he's worried about me getting a horse (looking at a potential today). The reason being, my trainer and her husband are good friends of ours, and apparently the husband has told my OH that his life is **** because his wife is ALWAYS with the horse (she runs a small livery yard) to the point where he has to care for the children and work full time and she never shows him any emotion.

Has that happened to you guys?
I reassured my OH that he is my first love and that i'd never stop showing emotion or being loving towards him (sorry, that's a bit gross and sickly, even I nearly puked as I wrote it!) but would it be a different story when the horse arrives? I not obsessive about horses, passionate yes, but I know it won't turn into the life our friend has.

Note: My OH is a farmer, and summers coming up - looooong hours and me in the daytime doing bugger all (I work nights and don't sleep alot!). Hence me wanting a project horse.
 
You will be fine. Sounds like your trainer's marriage is not good and her husband blames it on the horses. he also sounds like a bit of a doormat and has let her get away with dumping the kids on him. So if your marriage is strong, and your Oh is mature you will be fine. Go out and get one, and at least you will have company for the long hours when he is away working.
 
We're very strong. And I know that our friends have issues because (I work in a pub) I see the husband constantly chatting up other women. I agree with you, thank you, I just needed to check that not every relationship goes down the pan when a horse is added to the equation!
 
No mine went from strength to strength and I converted my city boy into a country loving boy. And got him riding, then he bought a 30 acre farm, and bought me another horse and then we got a yearling too. have fun. And good luck with the horse hunting
 
My OH cares about our horse too. I am careful to spend lots of time on other hobbies and activities that he prefers, and he is coming along to the yard, and has taken lessons etc. The family that plays together stays together... isn't that what they say?
 
It causes a little tension in winter when im there more often but thats only because he contracts and during his time off he thinks I should be off as well, he gets like it with the the business i run, but its nothing too major just have to be concious about where I spend time.
 
To be honest, with your other half being a farmer, he can't really talk! I can't see how you owning 1 horse would be anything like your trainer running a livery yard... two fifferent things....

With my horse in the winter I get up at about 6 am (could get up later but I like to take my time) and get in in the evening at about 7pm (having finnished work at 5.30)... in the summer I get up closer to 7am and I can be home by 6.30pm... remembering my dad's farming days those evening finishes are much earlier than your OH's I'm guessing and the morning starts would just about tally with his.... saves you being stuck at home bored...
 
I would say having a horse has strengthened our marriage. Before I just had work and home so I would bring my stresses into the home and I didn't have anything else to put my effort into. My horse is now the reason to keep going at a difficult, stressful job because if i was unemployed or on the sick I couldn't afford one. A horse is my escape and my therapy and my OH knows that. She keeps me fit and healthy, gives him a lie on a weekends because I'm off to the yard rather than insisting that he joins me doing housework.

We do argue about horses occassionally but in a normal relationship there are always going to be things you disagree about. I couldn't go back though, she keeps me happy and balanced and OH recognises how valuable that is.
 
Thanks for all your input. My mum put in a valuable point this morning too, my other half goes shooting during the winter 4/5 times a week. And spends ALOT of money on it. He keeps asking why I can't find a cheaper hobby, next time he says it i'll bring up the shooting!!

He's come round to the idea now really, he just likes to think he doesn't let me have my own way. But I always get my own way :D
 
I agree with dwi, my hubby works away during the week and every other weekend. I work full time but my daughter (who has a pony too) and I spend as much time as we can with the horses when he is away then when he is home we make sure we spend time with him, I also keep treating us to a night away now and again (just the two of us) which helps. We do argue sometimes and I wont lie he does get jealous and comment sometimes, but on the occasions he does go to the yard Ive seen him whispering into my mares ear and showing her TLC (he wont admit it but he secretely thinks she is lovely!!) If he is in the right mood he will surpise me if he is back from work before I finish my work and will have called at the stables and mucked out for me (when we just had one, he hasnt done that since the pony came along!!). But as I said I agree with dwi as my horse keeps me sane, although it is hard work i dont think i could be without her. I was away for a night with work earlier in the week and on my way home the YO rang to say she had cut her leg (not badly) so I went straight there, sorted her leg, she looked down at her leg with her 'sorry face' on then put her head into my chest as though to say 'thank god you are home', priceless.....
 
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