flurryjuno
Well-Known Member
Seriously considering selling my mare, and its breaking my heart. Bit of info, got her start of last year after year of being miserable (parents divorced, family members dying, certain parent getting 'rid' of ponies) so just when I needed her most. She wasn't what I was looking for but definitely what I needed. I was a nervous wreck after years of being the test pilot on other peoples horses, I was scared to canter her when I tried her, she was awful in the school and I was pretty sure the saddle she had on the tree was broke (that's another story but I was right!!) yet we both 'clicked' and when I had a panic attack 10 minutes before leaving she put her head over my shoulder and breathed down my neck I fell in love instantly, and brought her home the next week.
In the space of 3 months I went from being scared to walk down the lane by myself to galloping flat out up the beach and riding bareback around fields. She was also great in the fact when I was having a 'bad' week with my depression and anxiety, she would be ready to go as if I hadn't sat on her in a couple of days and was always different with me the days I struggled.
Its now gotten to the point though where I want to get back out there and start competing again with showjumping and showing, and build up my confidence jumping again (which she has not helped with). With us moving 2 hours away at the end of the month I think its time for a fresh start. However she is not and will never be a competition horse, whereas she is the PERFECT fun horse. Her idea of heaven is beach rides/cross country/hunting and hacking, yet put her in the school and every step is a struggle for her. Its starting to make get us both upset with each other, and I honestly feel like such a failure every time I get off at the end because we've achieved little to nothing and I get angry at myself and her which isn't fair.
She has quite a few flaws though. She has a scar on her neck, her legs aren't the cleanest, doesn't like certain people and tractors are a no go. She would NEVER run off with you, however has had bad experiences in the past (spoken to past owners) so she generally plants or if you get her in a gateway she'll get very tense, might dance about but thats the extreme.
I'm in tears writing this, its probably a complete hash and I've probably made her sound like a right nightmare. To make matters worse I was looking at for sale ads and just thought of all the 'what ifs'. Would I be making the right decision?
Sorry its so long, don't even know what I want out of this post. Suppose I needed to get it out of me, thanks for reading x
In the space of 3 months I went from being scared to walk down the lane by myself to galloping flat out up the beach and riding bareback around fields. She was also great in the fact when I was having a 'bad' week with my depression and anxiety, she would be ready to go as if I hadn't sat on her in a couple of days and was always different with me the days I struggled.
Its now gotten to the point though where I want to get back out there and start competing again with showjumping and showing, and build up my confidence jumping again (which she has not helped with). With us moving 2 hours away at the end of the month I think its time for a fresh start. However she is not and will never be a competition horse, whereas she is the PERFECT fun horse. Her idea of heaven is beach rides/cross country/hunting and hacking, yet put her in the school and every step is a struggle for her. Its starting to make get us both upset with each other, and I honestly feel like such a failure every time I get off at the end because we've achieved little to nothing and I get angry at myself and her which isn't fair.
She has quite a few flaws though. She has a scar on her neck, her legs aren't the cleanest, doesn't like certain people and tractors are a no go. She would NEVER run off with you, however has had bad experiences in the past (spoken to past owners) so she generally plants or if you get her in a gateway she'll get very tense, might dance about but thats the extreme.
I'm in tears writing this, its probably a complete hash and I've probably made her sound like a right nightmare. To make matters worse I was looking at for sale ads and just thought of all the 'what ifs'. Would I be making the right decision?
Sorry its so long, don't even know what I want out of this post. Suppose I needed to get it out of me, thanks for reading x
