Need advice about daughter

[splashgirl45]

if the family had their own yard with their own horses and ponies, it would be up to the parents to either allow them to ride on their own or not. this is a private yard and the YO should not be put in a position where a child is at the yard on her own....the child is VERY lucky to have her own pony, some of us had to work bloomin hard to afford our own ,as our parents couldnt afford to buy us luxuries... the mother must be at the yard to supervise and the daughter should start behaving in a more adult way and abide by the yard rules...if not, go to another yard where there will be people around...

 

[JFTDWS]

Ah, half term - when all the batshit comes seeping out of the woodwork.

Teenagers think they're invincible. They're not. Riding alone, on a yard without any back up isn't a great idea at that age, and if the YO doesn't want it happening on her yard, that's the end of it. One of the privileges of being an adult is getting to make your own risk assessments - for the most part, at least - and if I want to ride alone, I do. Most of the time, I have no choice in the matter - it's ride alone, or not at all. As a teenager, I don't think I had that luxury; if my mother wasn't around, someone else had to be. I probable did find it annoying at times, but life's full of rules you might not like, but you've got no choice in obeying.

I mean, the number of times I've wanted to give someone a quick tap on the head with a pick axe, but Mr Police Man says no...

 

[sport horse]

I have been very invovled in show jumping for 50 years. I can assure you that most of the top riders would not dream of jumping their horses without someone on the ground. Even the late great Ted Edgar, who was pretty bullish, had a rule in place in his yard that noone jumped without someone on the ground. As he said if something happened you might never know what it was.

I have three staff riding and schooling my horses and they are not even allowed to ride if there is noone else on the yard. In that situation the horses get lunged.

You may only be 14 but you do need to grow up and respect adults rules. They are in place to protect you as much as the adult who in this day and age could be open to being sued for virtually anything. If you judge yourself to be a good rider, think again. You may be starting to be competent but you have years ahead of you before you will be 'good'.

 

[babymare]

Having been the responsible adult looking over minors(under 16) "left" by their parents I fully understand the rule. Plus YO insurance will prob say all minors need a responsible adult in attendance. I.e. Parent.

 

[ycbm]

If you judge yourself to be a good rider, think again. You may be starting to be competent but you have years ahead of you before you will be 'good'.

I think this is unnecessarily harsh, assuming you've never met this child. There are plenty of fourteen year olds who are excellent riders, and she's probably only repeating what she has been told by her instructor or other people, not 'judging herself'.

 

[ycbm]

Wobblecob2017, I think you're understanding by now that the forum is a harsh place if you start off pretending and get caught out. If you want to stay around, and you can learn a lot if you do, then it would probably be easiest to start again with another name and do a proper introduction on the Introductions section to say hi to people.

 

[chocolategirl]

We have just moved to a lovely private yard 1 mile from our house. It is only me and my 14 year old daughter there, and she owns a horse which she is hoping to school and produce so she can compete on it. There is an arena in this yard which is lovely, however when we were reading the rules to this yard it seems that under 16s need adult supervision when down there. This is pretty inconvenient as she was hoping that moving to these stables she would have more independence with her horse without me always watching over her. I would if I could go there to just keep an eye on her however when I'm working on weekends this prevents her from being able to pop up and school her pony without me. I was wondering how I could convince the woman that owns these stables to allow my daughter to be there alone without me?

From a YO’s POV , I also would not allow under 16’s unsupervised on my yard. The first reason being insurance, mine only covers over 16’s unsupervised, and secondly, as the mother of 3 children that is, I wouldn’t want them to be on their own , particularly if there are no others around. With respect, if those are your YO’s rules, why should she break them just to suit you? Assuredly you knew of the rules before you signed any contract?🤔

 

[Pearlsasinger]

I think this is unnecessarily harsh, assuming you've never met this child. There are plenty of fourteen year olds who are excellent riders, and she's probably only repeating what she has been told by her instructor or other people, not 'judging herself'.

Being a good rider for a 14 yr old, isn't the same as being a good rider. Being able to ride one pony well doesn't make you a good rider.
By the very nature of a being a rider whose access to horses is limited, which it sounds as if this girl is, with her one horse/pony, she cannot have the experience of riding a wide variety of horses. I have certainly known a 14 yr old who could be considered a good rider but she had access to a large number of horses, from Shetlands to large hunters, with lots in-between and went on to ride point-to-pointers. OP sounds to be unlikely to have had similar experience. Most really good riders know that they have a lot to learn.

 

[DD]

the rule is probably inplace because if your unsupervised daughter broke her neck the YO doesn't want to be sued for millions.

 

[ycbm]

Being a good rider for a 14 yr old, isn't the same as being a good rider. Being able to ride one pony well doesn't make you a good rider.
.

You know the girl do you PaS?

Because I knew an eleven year old who only had a pony in livery, who was a natural rider. By the time she was 14 she was absolutely excellent. It is probably this girl's trainer or others telling her she is a good rider.

The point was that this girl is 14, made a mistake coming on the forum the way she did, feels a twit enough already, and really doesn't need any more shit thrown at her, does she?

I thought I would extend a forum hand of friendship, but obviously you and others don't feel that was a good idea and have continued to lay into her.

 

[Pearlsasinger]

Do you know her? Nothing I have read tells me that she feels a twit enough already. I don't know her, so I took my information from her posts and I'm sorry but, whilst I don't know the girl you are speaking of, I do know that being able to ride one horse/pony well is NOT being a good rider, in the wider sense.

 

[ycbm]

You don't know what she rides, only that she has a horse of her own in livery.

No, I don't know her, but I feel for her. Why can't we just err on the side of generosity towards a child?

 

[chocolategirl]

Well I am sure that most of us over a certain age can tell tales of idyllic childhoods spent riding like unruly little tearaways here there and everywhere free from any restrictions or adult input. Usually bareback and hatless too as I remember. Swallows and Amazons and Famous Five days are long gone sadly.

Doesn't make it right though, or advisable or even legal these days. What seemed OK 50 odd years ago probably was Ok then......our ponies where in the main Thelwells, not overbred often highly strung eventing ponies for kids that have perhaps had one riding school lesson a week for 6 months, little or no traffic on the roads, no peer or over ambitious parents pressure to perform like an olympians jumping and eventing the moment we came out of nappies. It is a new world Winters100 and things have changed, and knowledge along with it.

If I was the mother of children or teens again you can bet your bottom dollar I would not let them be doing what I was doing without all the protection and common sense and adult supervision possible.

At the root of all this is that the world is now a far more dangerous and litigious place sadly 😕 I speak from experience and as a YO btw 😏

 

[Rowreach]

You don't know what she rides, only that she has a horse of her own in livery.

No, I don't know her, but I feel for her. Why can't we just err on the side of generosity towards a child?

Doesn't matter how or what she rides. I'd be erring on the side of generosity towards the YO - her yard, her rules.

Nobody has been unduly mean to the OP for goodness sake.

My worst fall (as a pro rider for many years) was in walk, in an indoor, on a sensible horse - and I was on my own. I still don't know what caused it.

 

[BOWS28]

Despiteb
The fact I’m a child and 13
I think she is totally responsible as me and my mum and my little sister who I should ten have 7 horse on our home stables
And I hack them out by my self and even jump them up to 1m40 alone so I think you can probs convince

Oh dear, what is going on...

 

[ihatework]

The kid is 14, doing what the bulk of 14yos do.
I think as adults can we not let this drop?

 

[gnubee]

I recently saw my partner fall off my youngster (on the flat) and land on his head. I’ve seen many, many worse falls from both jumping and random spooks where riders walked away. I’ve had worse falls and walked away.
He was disoriented and minutes later unconscious on the ground and not breathing. Luckily I was there to immediately call the ambulance and keep him immobile as he came round (and perform cpr if he hadn’t started breathing again before I finished talking to the ambulance services). Spine broken in two places.

Riding on your own is stupid. Yes, I still do it and hope that in the hopefully unlikely chance I was in the same position the neighbors might see and come to the rescue, but I’m an adult and therefore legally capable of consenting to that risk. At 14 you cant get married, can’t vote, and shouldn’t be allowed to consent to taking stupid risks. You certainly shouldn’t expect adults who are not your parents to bear responsibility for constant supervision of you, or the risk that a similar accident happens whilst they are making a cup of tea or going about their own business and don’t get to you in time.

 

[Mule]

I almost always ride alone. I keep mine at home so it's different to being on a busy yard. I didn't know this was unusual.
I'm fairly cautious by nature but not risk averse. I will say that when I jump, I do feel happier if someone else is around.